work bathrooms = SLAY3D

[booner]

From about 8th grade to HS graduation a few of my friends and I frequently took part in "barn dumping". This is a sport of skill where you hang your ass out of the 2nd story barn window and shit with great joy. Then you gather around the pile for a good laugh at the resulting gravity patty.

[hafilax]

Some of my dorm-mates in undergrad would shit at the toilet balanced at the top of the stall. They called it the 'high-altitude shit'.

[crstlextrm]

I am a mover so I always try not to slay a customers bathroom, Im always afraid that it might affect whether I get tipped or not. If I am getting the no tip vibe I will go for it, but that doesnt happen very often.

Does anyone else lose there need to frequently shit while mountaineering? I took a nice 10 minute dump last friday around 7:30 pm while getting a wilderness permit for a 3 night stay in Olympic National Park and didnt duece again till Monday morning around 9 am. It was a GREAT dump too, not nearly as dense as one would think a shit would be after such a long wait. Thanks to the park for not locking the bathrooms at Obstruction Point as the nearest TP was 7.6 miles away! I think in all my overnight BC trips I have only taken 2 dumps though, the other one being in Glacier Basin at MRNP if Im not mistaken. On average I let er rip twice a day.

[Sirshredalot]

I definitely poop less when backpacking/mountaineering. I am not sure why.

[somegeek]

Prolly burning up more of the food due to activity?


Side note - this thread keeps delivering... should be a sticky.

[stapes]

about 6 or 7 beers last night + colby jack cheese and crackers for dinner (lotsa cheese) = splattery goodness this morning. don't think there was one thing solid about it.

but man i feel better.

[counterfeitfake]

Does anyone else lose there need to frequently shit while mountaineering?

Unfortunately, NO!! I pretty much stick to my normal once a day schedule and it can be really inconvenient as I'm often hanging from a cliff come 10am. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this.

I think there are a lot of reasons for people to shit less when they're camping/climbing/whatever and I think one of them is dehydration. Sometimes I can feel I kind of have to go but it's not urgent, then I pound some water and it's abruptly go-time.

[Giant_Scrotum]

i'm sure you are all familiar with this site : http://www.ratemypoo.com/

don't forget to check out the top 20 and honorable mentions

NSFW or lunch

[Stig-Helmer]

I just got slay3d...girl poop is so much worse

[adam]

This belongs here

[Nathan Explosion]

That was the best thing I've ever read.

[snowsprite]

Good one!

And with a name like that Nathan, it's about time you showed up in this thred.

Sprite

[CG]

That was great, I was crying...

[Trashcan]

Oh my god that is awsome!!!

[skiingsamurai]

after that story, mine doesnt compare
i cried

its been a year since I posted in this thread, so here we go:
New internship, new bathroom to obliterate.
After a long weekend of drinking vast amounts of PBR, grilled food, and heavily seasoned meat it was time to unload. Our bathroom is 3 stalls and 2 urinals. All 3 unoccupied but 1 urinal is being used. I had to run to the bathroom as dark coffee was the straw that broke this camels back. Thus there was no waiting to be alone for this one. Initializing the episode with one tremendous exhale out my ass. It echoed. There are some drafting cubicles on the other side of the wall. I heard a co worker say holy shit, did you hear that?
I was just getting started. After taking hold of the toilet paper holder and my left knee, i gave it the first of many goes. In the mean time the first pissed literally ran out the bathroom, and a second victim joined the party. After what felt like an eternity of shitting, i needed a break and relaxed. The smell that had quickly propogated from my stall to the rest of the room was that of stale beer and rotting flesh. Pisser #2 caughed a few times, then started to gag. Guess he had to piss badly because he didnt stop and run. He continued to gag till he vomit in the urinal. My first puker ever. I was proud and shamed. After he left shamefully I gave it my all. 2 victims, 4 flushes, and no less than 100 feet of toilet paper I left. As I walked through the door there was a crowd standing outside the door. The looked horified and enraged. The entire office smelled for no less than 30 min. This is a large building too. Due to the fans we have set up around the building, the stench kept recycling.
When I go in there now, my co workers quickly ask me to wait for 2 min while they get their last shit of the day in, just so they can see when they drive home.
this was my best shit ever, and i never expect to top it

[DBdude]

don't sell yourself short. that was pretty good. a crowd outside the door...wow

[stapes]

that was good samurai. had me laughing at my desk.

[snowsprite]

You are to be commended on your storytelling prowess, samurai, and on your usage of "exhale out my ass."

I laughed out loud. As for your work compadres, they must fear and hate you yet stand in awe of you.

Good work, son!

::::Pat on the back::::

Sprite

[skiingsamurai]

i promise i wont do that to your bathroom if we do ullrfest at your place again.
I cant bring myself to unleash hell like that unless its justified or im getting paid to do it

[ODHGABFE]

Just about to spend the last few minutes of work on the pot. Allriiiight...

[Parvo]

Just discovered a bathroom in my office building that never gets used, it's on a vacant floor. It's like having my own private executive washroom.

Oh, and I just SLAY3D it!

[corn dog]

and this thread is not tagged hot butt mud?

[somegeek]

Just discovered a bathroom in my office building that never gets used, it's on a vacant floor. It's like having my own private executive washroom.

Oh, and I just SLAY3D it!

In a multi-story office building, the handicap stall in a low traffic, clean bathroom is the VIP area of shitters.

[somegeek]

This thread brought back a memory... bit of a denial of service attack...

I started the day early and was at the mall with my then woman doing a bit of shopping. Around 10am I got the urge for my morning poo... it's like clockwork - a stratum 4 timing source if you will. Think the timing has to do with my consumption of coffee in the AM... anyways, I got that greasy feeling which conjured itself quickly enough to prompt an immediate bee line from Men's clothing to the bathroom. We were in Mervyn's... I had to weave a line through rounders of clothing to get to the men's room. Upon entering I see a sink, a single urinal and a single toilet stall... blocked by a fat dude in a wheelchair with an assistant just working their way out of the stall. I tapped my foot as I waited for the duo to make their way closer to the sink. Felt like it took them two minutes to get ten feet. I was then able to wiggle by them and get into the stall and shut the door. In this short time, beads of sweat had formed on my forehead. Something wicked this way comes - a meal of bean burritos and a sixer of dark porter for dinner the night before followed by a four shot espresso drink for breakfast set the tone. I dropped my drawers and sat down. The momentum of me moving down toward the toilet with my butt then impacting the seat was just enough to break the threshold and I let loose. Gas, solids, some not so solids... it flowed - all of it. I think I heard the duo comment on the soundtrack my ass provided for this break on the throne. It was bad... By the time I finished emptying out, I felt like I needed a shower... that dirty. I did some paperwork and then stood up. The toilet looked like a Jackson Pollock piece. I observed for a moment and then flushed. Something was amiss... the level of the contents simply rose up in the bowl towards the rim. It was plugged. This was an older toilet mind you, without that pressure blast newer toilets use to momentarily back blast the blockage to loosen things up before swallowing the mass. I let out a sigh... nothing I could do. I took some toilet paper to wipe the remaining sweat off my brow. I opened the door and walked towards the sink. Just then a guy came in and headed toward the stall. As a courtesy, I told him, 'Dude - don't - someone plugged...' (Who the fuck tells you someone plugged it other than the plugger themselves?) It was too late and he saw the damage. He let out some kinda noise which loosely translated to 'fuckin' hell' and he turned and exited the bathroom. I laughed on the inside... 'he he... owned.'

After I was done washing my hands, I exited. I glanced around for my woman and saw the guy that just left standing with a half dozen friends. They were all fixed on him who appeared to be telling a story. He then turned, while not breaking his monologue pointed directly at me. Their eyes focused on me for a moment. Then looks of disgust took over their faces.

I half laughed to myself when I saw that disgust on their faces. Poop humor is funny. Maybe that appreciation for poop humor is genetic. I dunno. I do know that I left Mervyn's that day about five pounds lighter.

[Keegan]

hahahahaha. This last page has had me laughing non-stop!