work bathrooms = SLAY3D

[goofygrin]

eh... maybe yer on the same schedule and since you've only got one shitter, she's stuck in your wake?

[2turntables]

There are 2 gay dudes where I work that leave our place of work and go to the public bathrooms across the parking lot. They will never poop at work because they are afraid for anyone to smell their poop.
I even had a female assistant who would just shit and brag about how bad it stunk. Funny reversal of the norms for ladys and gents.

[G. Gordon Liddy]

eh... maybe yer on the same schedule and since you've only got one shitter, she's stuck in your wake?

Nah... If someone craps before me. I have the patience to wait 10 minutes for the room to clear. Not this gal. She's in there less than one minute after I walk out.

[skimoore]

My work has taken to leaving a can of Febreze in the stalls....my god, what a brilliant idea! The gas warfare has been noticeably less intense ever since...

[Squatch]

Dear Sir...

Fuckin' bastard did it again. Now he has to shit on my Wednesdays, too?

Although this time was better, I guess. It didn't sound as if he was taking it up the ass from a Rhino today.

[skiingsamurai]

Wow, what I just did to our bathroom here is unGodly. Ill recieve a week in hell for this one.
Our bathroom is a U shape, sinks and uinals on the unside walls, stalls on the outside. I took the right side since there were fewer people in there. After 10 minuntes of doing battle someone called over from the other side of the U, "can we get a courtesy flush? It smells like death over here." 25 min, 5 flushes, 1/2 a roll of toilet paper, and one guy almost gaging I had won. As im walking out ahead of someone else who just finished his routine, he tells his friend on his way in not to bother, its not humane to go in there for the next 2 hours.

I love pooping on government time
plus the toilet paper is o so soft

[snowsprite]

Oh my God, man...you are like an olympic-level shitter!

Sprite

[skiingsamurai]

I usually specialize in powershits. Half the time my cheeks dont even hit the seat before im done. I normally dont enjoy the aeroma of my own excrement.

but thismorning was amazing

[Pura Vida]

Holy ! Just walked into the bathroom and proceeded to my favorite stall and walked into a serious slayed warzone, the "highlights:"

1. crumpled shit stained ass gasket on the floor adjacent to crapper.

2. High marking that reached the outer regions of the seat as well as near the flushing mechanism.

3. A berry sized chunk of shit in the middle floor. Slayer retreated and dropped a dingleberry on the way out?

Uhh, not sure what went on in there, nor do I really care to know. I bailed and had to suffer in the hot, non airconditioned upstairs bathroom, not stoked.

[TeleHoar]

So I'm blowing this congressman in the stall at the airport when someone comes into the stall next to us.

He starts making the music of the diarrhea dance, I mean it was so loud people outside could hear it over the jets.

The most god-awful smell started dripping off the whole room and I almost gag...not cause of the cock in my mouth but from this guy's butt-air that is now in my nose.

I look up to see the congressman laughing at all this, and he says " I should pass a law..."

Between slurps I say "What would you call it? No turd left behind?"

We both start cracking up as he finishes all over my face.

It was hilarious...

Guess you had to be there.

[50kLeg]

[skimoore]

I remember earlier there was an etiquette item saying you should tap your foot to warn others the stall is occupied. The gentleman from Idaho would like to warn you that there may be other consequences of tapping your foot.

[RootSkier]

He starts making the music of the diarrhea dance, I mean it was so loud people outside could hear it over the jets.

The most god-awful smell started dripping off the whole room and I almost gag...not cause of the cock in my mouth but from this guy's butt-air that is now in my nose.

Holy shit, that was the funniest shit I've read in weeks.

[oftpiste]

So I'm blowing this congressman in the stall at the airport when someone comes into the stall next to us.

He starts making the music of the diarrhea dance, I mean it was so loud people outside could hear it over the jets.

The most god-awful smell started dripping off the whole room and I almost gag...not cause of the cock in my mouth but from this guy's butt-air that is now in my nose.

I look up to see the congressman laughing at all this, and he says " I should pass a law..."

Between slurps I say "What would you call it? No turd left behind?"

We both start cracking up as he finishes all over my face.

It was hilarious...

Guess you had to be there.

Funniest thing I've come in contact with today. I'm literally gagging with laughter. Just like you and the senator!

[Lonnie]

[SchralphMacchio]

I peered over the lip and could see my entry point. Peeled over the edge and dropped in hard. Tucked down and straightlined it to the bottom. Looking back, I could see my tracks from the top to the bottom. That bowl was slayed.

Wait, am I talking about porcelain or powder?

[KIRinPNW]

..And I'm spent.

[pechelman]

bump for someones first day at work

[woodstocksez]

Wow, what I just did to our bathroom here is unGodly. Ill recieve a week in hell for this one.
Our bathroom is a U shape, sinks and uinals on the unside walls, stalls on the outside. I took the right side since there were fewer people in there. After 10 minuntes of doing battle someone called over from the other side of the U, "can we get a courtesy flush? It smells like death over here." 25 min, 5 flushes, 1/2 a roll of toilet paper, and one guy almost gaging I had won. As im walking out ahead of someone else who just finished his routine, he tells his friend on his way in not to bother, its not humane to go in there for the next 2 hours.

I love pooping on government time
plus the toilet paper is o so soft

That's one you're gonna want to tell the grandkids about. Well done.

[The Reverend Floater]

I have to tell somebody this... This really creeps me out. I thought for a while it was just pure chance, but I am now fully aware that my co-worker is a habitual poo-sniffer.

I work in a small office of 6 people. My job isn't the most thrilling in the world, although it pays the bills and I tend to enjoy it more often that I hate it. My morning schedule is fairly simple. Walk in the door, fire up the computer, make a pot of coffee, eat a bagel, drink said coffee, and finally proceed to the restroom for my most peaceful part of my morning. I fit into the category of the ‘relaxed crapper’. I often grab the Journal, or maybe just my cell phone for a few games of bubble breaker. Anyhow, I tend to take my time and enjoy my peace and quiet. But, being such a small office, everybody knows when, and how long you are in there, so it can be a bit odd if you spend too much time in there. Well, lately I’ve noticed that as soon as I leave the restroom, I hardly have time to get back to my office before a gal in office is quickly out of her seat and headed into the tiny room I just destroyed. At first I thought it just a chance, but now after 2 weeks of careful consideration, I think she may be addicted to the smell. Needless to say I’m a little freaked out by this pattern of events.

So, in closing, I would like to say this to poo-sniffer: “I can hardly stay in there for 5 minutes with that smell, WTF are you doing in there!!!!!!!”

That's it.

Wow. I hadn't heard about this. Who is it?

[Art Shirk]

It was a two day stand off. Even Saturday Night's drinking encounter with the Seattle Polish community couldn't sway its firm grasp. 3 cups of coffee down today, some left-over meatloaf, and my fury was unleashed. Iceberg'd it, double flushed and high-fived the stall wall on the way out. Chalk one up for the good guys.

[Rontele]

bump for someones first day at work

The life of a first year associate dictates that while my office doesn't have a window, the shitter does. I wouldn't have called it my best effort, but it felt the thunder.

[CarveMan]

I've slayed the most salubrious bathroom in the ski world - the palace like facilities at the Snowbasin base lodge.

[lionelhutz]

The life of a first year associate dictates that while my office doesn't have a window, the shitter does. I wouldn't have called it my best effort, but it felt the thunder.

wait-- the shitter has a window and your office doesn't. That's bad. Do you have a laptop? If so I totally suggest moving the office into the crapper.

[acostiga]

i never reported back about slaying the scene at the neuschwanstein castle this past summer. the stall had a window, which was awesome. it was a hot summer day, and the breeze coming in through that window was heavenly. i actually took my shirt off to more completely enjoy the breeze. and, unlike most other shitters in the fatherland, i didn't have to pay anyone. ahh, memories.