Things That Amuse You

[Boissal]

+2, Ms Boissal doesn't seem to differentiate between her inner monologue and her spoken words. It's one big story in her head and she's convinced I hear 100% of it while I really am privy to maybe 5%. Of course it's the most obtuse 5% that gets verbalized. When I tell her I have no idea what she's talking about since she's 1000 miles away from where she left the conversation in the first place to continue it in her head she gets annoyed with me and accuses me of not listening...

[Buster Highmen]

+2, Ms Boissal doesn't seem to differentiate between her inner monologue and her spoken words. It's one big story in her head and she's convinced I hear 100% of it while I really am privy to maybe 5%. Of course it's the most obtuse 5% that gets verbalized. When I tell her I have no idea what she's talking about since she's 1000 miles away from where she left the conversation in the first place to continue it in her head she gets annoyed with me and accuses me of not listening...

Story of my life:statements completely out of context.

[Mustonen]

That’s funny.

My fiancé is guilty of malaprops. But I didn’t know the word for it until today.

[riser4]

I'm a man. I can change. If I have to. I guess.

[El Chupacabra]

+2, Ms Boissal doesn't seem to differentiate between her inner monologue and her spoken words. It's one big story in her head and she's convinced I hear 100% of it while I really am privy to maybe 5%. Of course it's the most obtuse 5% that gets verbalized. When I tell her I have no idea what she's talking about since she's 1000 miles away from where she left the conversation in the first place to continue it in her head she gets annoyed with me and accuses me of not listening...

Same here.

And I'll add: I can ask Mrs C a question, looking straight at her, and I know she heard me.... but doesn't respond. When I prompt her for a response, she claims she answered and that I must be going deaf because I'm sitting right there.

Maybe this belongs in the "I love my wife, but JHC" thread.

[Mustonen]

+2, Ms Boissal doesn't seem to differentiate between her inner monologue and her spoken words. It's one big story in her head and she's convinced I hear 100% of it while I really am privy to maybe 5%. Of course it's the most obtuse 5% that gets verbalized. When I tell her I have no idea what she's talking about since she's 1000 miles away from where she left the conversation in the first place to continue it in her head she gets annoyed with me and accuses me of not listening...

This happens often in my home, except I haven’t tried the “you didn’t say those words out loud” approach. I just eventually have to admit that I tuned out mid-conversation if I can’t BS my way through it.

Also, what doesn’t amuse me is some of the cringe on this page. I can relate to and appreciate the discomfort/awkwardness of your child having sex in an adjacent room, but the implication that I would creep on such a thing and then share such creeping on the internet is one that I can’t reconcile with anything amusing. Not to be a square….

[MagnificentUnicorn]

This happens often in my home, except I haven’t tried the “you didn’t say those words out loud” approach. I just eventually have to admit that I tuned out mid-conversation if I can’t BS my way through it.

Also, what doesn’t amuse me is some of the cringe on this page. I can relate to and appreciate the discomfort/awkwardness of your child having sex in an adjacent room, but the implication that I would creep on such a thing and then share such creeping on the internet is one that I can’t reconcile with anything amusing. Not to be a square….

It’s Viva, you’re surprised by his creepiness?

[Buster Highmen]

I just gently and firmly remind her that she's got some conversation going on in her head to which I haven't been invited. An invitation with follow up would be nice.

[Mustonen]

It’s Viva, you’re surprised by his creepiness?

Well, no. That part I actually did find amusing. Plus he didn’t keep up on his normal Tuesday obligations because he had company, so the story played out well….

It was more the “useless without pics” kind of commentary that gave me pause.

But I’m probably just getting soft in my dotage.

Carry on, I guess.

[concretejungle]

It’s Viva, you’re surprised by his creepiness?

Next thing you know people will be surprised at his casual racism.

[Danno]

All this spousal talk and the stuff they don't actually verbalize is amusing, unless it's being posted in the Tammy thread.

[Danno]

It’s Viva, you’re surprised by his creepiness?

Next thing you know people will be surprised at his casual racism.

While these are both true

Also, what doesn’t amuse me is some of the cringe on this page. I can relate to and appreciate the discomfort/awkwardness of your child having sex in an adjacent room, but the implication that I would creep on such a thing and then share such creeping on the internet is one that I can’t reconcile with anything amusing. Not to be a square….

nothing about his sharing here seemed creepy to me.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Well, no. That part I actually did find amusing. Plus he didn’t keep up on his normal Tuesday obligations because he had company, so the story played out well….

It was more the “useless without pics” kind of commentary that gave me pause.

But I’m probably just getting soft in my dotage.

Carry on, I guess.

I guess I failed with my attempt at irony.

[~mikey b]

I wonder why that is…

[MagnificentUnicorn]

I wonder why that is…

Why don’t you just say what you mean…

[skaredshtles]

+2, Ms Boissal doesn't seem to differentiate between her inner monologue and her spoken words. It's one big story in her head and she's convinced I hear 100% of it while I really am privy to maybe 5%. Of course it's the most obtuse 5% that gets verbalized. When I tell her I have no idea what she's talking about since she's 1000 miles away from where she left the conversation in the first place to continue it in her head she gets annoyed with me and accuses me of not listening...

[old goat]

My wife is known for malaprops. It's bananas the shit she'll say sometimes. I've never gotten used to it. Smart lady, but wow. So last night she's been away for a week, she's back, we're at dinner, she tells me that this guy we know, Paul, his wife is in the hospital. And he has four armadillos she really likes and we're gonna take care of while she's in the hospital.

And I'm like, there's no fucking way. Absolutely not. Not even one armadillo. It's bad enough I just had to take care of the damn dogs for a week, I'm not taking care of any fucking armadilos. I was getting kind of hot about it, actually.

Turns out they're amaryllises. That's completely different.

My wife is a prolific generator of malaprops. She also doesn't know her right from her left, especially when giving directions. Not surprising since she's left handed. She'll say "turn left" while pointing right. When I turn left she complains I should have looked where she was pointing. Sorry, I was watching the road. She's predictable enough that if I turn the opposite way from what she says I'm correct more often than not. She can't understand I'd rather listen to the Google maps lady (who apparently has no name. And while we're on the subject--is there a name for the voice that says "Arrivederci" when you leave an Italian toll booth? I'm in love.)

[~mikey b]

Why don’t you just say what you mean…

I find this more amusing

[MagnificentUnicorn]

I find this more amusing

Not surprising, simple minds are easily entertained

[~mikey b]

[buttahflake]

Oh sick, looks like a battle of trg’s dimmest of wits is at hand!
It’s hard to pick this one, but I’m going with smellymike, douchekorn is truly stupid.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Doesn’t AA teach self reflection?

[zion zig zag]

I’m sitting at the Toyota dealer getting new tires when the service manager comes over. Introduces himself and then grabs a chair and pulls it up in front of me. I can feel it coming when he says, “I have some bad news for you.”

He says that my truck fell off the lift and it’s damaged heavily and they’ll need to keep it awhile. It’s a year old, so in my mind I’m already asking for a new one, when I see the smile across his face. He tells me that he’s just kidding and that my coworkers put him up to it. Fuckers.


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[riser4]

I’m sitting at the Toyota dealer getting new tires when the service manager comes over. Introduces himself and then grabs a chair and pulls it up in front of me. I can feel it coming when he says, “I have some bad news for you.”

He says that my truck fell off the lift and it’s damaged heavily and they’ll need to keep it awhile. It’s a year old, so in my mind I’m already asking for a new one, when I see the smile across his face. He tells me that he’s just kidding and that my coworkers put him up to it. Fuckers.


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That shit ain't funny. And they are gonna be fucked when one falls off the lift for real.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Oh sick, looks like a battle of trg’s dimmest of wits is at hand!
It’s hard to pick this one, but I’m going with smellymike, douchekorn is truly stupid.

I wonder how much space Mikey and I occupy in your atrophied brain? Such a sad little man.