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Thread: work bathrooms = SLAY3D

  1. #251
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    This morning was the first time that I had to slay it next to one of the partners. I tried to hold out until he left--even though he engaged in some serious grunt and plop. I couldn't hold on, however, and unleashed in a fury of machine gun farting and topped it off with a KAPLUNK!
    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post
    I don't think I've ever seen mental illness so faithfully rendered in html.

  2. #252
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rontele View Post
    This morning was the first time that I had to slay it next to one of the partners.
    Just watch the toe-tappin
    Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
    And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
    It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
    and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.

    Patterson Hood of the DBT's

  3. #253
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rontele View Post
    This morning was the first time that I had to slay it next to one of the partners.
    Yea-well one time this summer I accidently opened the stall door on the chairman of the firm. He yelled "in here" as I did it. It was funny.

  4. #254
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tye 1on View Post
    Just watch the toe-tappin
    That's a requirement fo the job.
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  5. #255
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    Someone slayed the women's room so badly today that three hours later it still reeked and they actually had to close the bathroom. It was truly foul.

  6. #256
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    Ass jihad

    Yogurt (breakfast)
    + Guadalajara Espresso Burrito (lunch)
    + 1 Red Bull & Vodka
    + 5-6 PBR's
    + 1 porky treat (brat - dinner)

    = next day swamp ass

    Feels like my ass is running jihad on the bathroom. I feel sorry for anyone who goes in there within an hour of my last strike.
    Only bad decisions from here on out.

  7. #257
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    I miss furturama
    This is the worst pain EVER!

  8. #258
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    Quote Originally Posted by wandering, not lost View Post
    Someone slayed the women's room so badly today that three hours later it still reeked and they actually had to close the bathroom. It was truly foul.
    That's disturbing. Do you know the culprit?

  9. #259
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    'twas me. Heh heh.
    It doesn't matter if you're a king or a little street sweeper...
    ...sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper
    -Death

    Quote Originally Posted by St. Jerry View Post
    The other morning I was awoken to "Daddy, my fart fell on the floor"
    Kaz is my co-pilot

  10. #260
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    Admittedly, I am having a hard time adjusting to the lack of privacy involved in my most intimate shits. I find myself primed to unleash the fury of yesterday's meals when one of my co-workers enters. I would hate to have a first and early impression of me be based on bowel leakage, etc. so I hold on and wait. Sometimes, however, they take too fucking long to wash their hands and the built up angst and muscle contractions often result in uncontrolled grunting, splashing, and odors of biblical proportions.
    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post
    I don't think I've ever seen mental illness so faithfully rendered in html.

  11. #261
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    ya...well whoever keeps taking an f'ing dump in the sink at my school needs to be shot

  12. #262
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    O man, today was another olymic level shit.
    I was in the engineering building here at school evacuating some beer and chineese food. My eyes were watering. Half way through the ordeal someone walked into the bathroom, sniffed, coughed, almost vomit and ran out screaming "holy shit!"
    I like to think God was on my side with that one
    Live

  13. #263
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    Admittedly, I am having a hard time adjusting to the lack of privacy involved in my most intimate shits. I find myself primed to unleash the fury of yesterday's meals when one of my co-workers enters. I would hate to have a first and early impression of me be based on bowel leakage, etc. so I hold on and wait. Sometimes, however, they take too fucking long to wash their hands and the built up angst and muscle contractions often result in uncontrolled grunting, splashing, and odors of biblical proportions.
    our bathrooms here at work have the power flushes, so i just hit that sucka and explode. My issue is i cant enjoy a good bowel movement with people in stalls next to me who have no shame. And it seems everyone on my floor, has no shame. They just let it flow.

  14. #264
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    What is there to be ashamed of? Are you the only person in the world that has to shit? Nobody elses shit smells or has outrageous farts while taking a shit. It's the crapper, let it all hang out man and bring a friend.

  15. #265
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rontele View Post
    Admittedly, I am having a hard time adjusting to the lack of privacy involved in my most intimate shits.
    Can't you shit at home before work? Moderate your schedule, man!

  16. #266
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    what do you call it when the shit piles up out of the water?
    Let me lock in the system at Warp 2
    Push it on into systematic overdrive
    You know what to do

  17. #267
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    Quote Originally Posted by RootSkier View Post
    Can't you shit at home before work? Moderate your schedule, man!
    I am incredibly regular. Yougurt smoothie + large cup of coffee = immediate bowel movement.

    Tap, floating shits are either referred to as Hawaii or sunken ships.
    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post
    I don't think I've ever seen mental illness so faithfully rendered in html.

  18. #268
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rontele View Post
    I am incredibly regular. Yougurt smoothie + large cup of coffee = immediate bowel movement.

    Tap, floating shits are either referred to as Hawaii or sunken ships.
    this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.

    so what's that called?
    Let me lock in the system at Warp 2
    Push it on into systematic overdrive
    You know what to do

  19. #269
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tap View Post
    this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.

    so what's that called?
    An aquatic butt snake
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  20. #270
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tap View Post
    this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.

    so what's that called?
    An iceberg.

  21. #271
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    so i gave the work bathroom a proper slaying then headed into the break room for some water. on my way back to my office, a co-worker walked into the bathroom then beat a hasty retreat in horror.

    i felt proud.
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."
    Ben Franklin

  22. #272
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tap View Post
    this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.

    so what's that called?
    Easy. atoa.
    "All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."

  23. #273
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater View Post
    Easy. atoa.

    Lol
    +1


    I'm not much of a slayer, but the other day I was being really quiet so know one knew it was me in there. And as the anonymous pisser left, he turned out the lights, allowing me to finish my shit in complete and udder darkness.

  24. #274
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater View Post
    Easy. atoa.
    This is some solid work, Rev.
    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post
    I don't think I've ever seen mental illness so faithfully rendered in html.

  25. #275
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rontele View Post
    This is some solid work, Rev.
    It's gotta be pretty solid to pile up like that.

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