The baseball thread.

**iceman** · 08-03-2007, 11:58 PM

Sox should just forfeit all their games in Safeco and stay home and rest, they'd be better off.

**Benny Profane** · 08-04-2007, 09:49 AM

Barry Bonds Home-Run Scandal Somehow Becomes Feel-Good Sports Story Of Summer

SAN FRANCISCO—Although Barry Bonds remains the target of criticism over his possible—some say almost certain—use of performance-enhancing substances, the fact that Bonds has not been implicated in dogfighting, nightclub shootings, gambling, or murdering his family has transformed his controversial pursuit of the all-time home-run record into the feel-good sports story of the summer.

"Until we have definitive proof one way or the other, the very presence of so many questions about Bonds and steroids will haunt his achievements forever," ESPN's Peter Gammons said Monday. "However, at this moment, I think we'd all have to agree that having a raging juiced-up misanthrope break the greatest record in sports is a ray of sunshine compared to everything else on the sports page."

"What kind of person electrocutes dogs, let alone fights them?" Gammons added. "I simply can't comprehend it. Go, Barry!"

While Bonds has been routinely greeted with booing and jeering whenever he played outside of San Francisco, the taunting seems to have abated for the moment as sports fans across America lapse into a reflective silence as Bonds approaches the plate.

"I know Bonds is probably 100% pharmaceutical Frankenstein," said Brewers fan Charles Michaels, who waved a banner reading "Make Us Relatively Proud, Barry" while not exactly rooting against Bonds at Milwaukee's Miller Park Sunday night. "But I also know for a certainty that gambling problems didn't compel him to affect the outcome of the NBA playoffs. You have to give him that much."

"Bonds is not exactly my hero," said Braves fan Bradley Hanson, who flew to San Francisco for Monday night's Braves game in order to pointedly not boo Bonds. "But he's a reminder that in these troubled times for sports, there are still players whose crimes are simple, pure, and only tarnish our beloved sport and everything it stands for without killing anybody."

Bonds defiantly refuses to acknowledge, much less answer, any of the dozens of questions regarding his use of illegal substances, often lashing out at clubhouse reporters asking even innocuous baseball-related questions. Yet as of press time, Bonds had not yet been involved in even one single murder.

"Say what you want about Bonds, but he's not a murderer, or even an attempted murderer," San Francisco Chronicle reporter and co-author of Game Of Shadows Lance Williams wrote in Sunday's edition. "The only thing I believe Bonds did was inject himself with Winstrol, Deca-Durabolin, insulin, testosterone, synthetic testosterone, testosterone decanoate, human growth hormones, Norbolethone, Trenbolone, Clomid, and possibly commercial racehorse laxatives, all in order to make himself a better athlete. Not to allow himself to gut-shoot a gentleman's club bouncer, but to become a better athlete. A better athlete…it doesn't seem so bad when you think about it like that."

"It's a relief of sorts to see someone putting performance first," Frank Deford said in a New York Times Magazine editorial Sunday. "I think we all believe that Barry has taken steroids, and that they made him into a hulking monster who rewrote the record books. But they didn't turn him into a hulking monster who drugged his wife and children into unconsciousness before strangling them to death and hanging himself from a weight bench. And in these troubled times, Bonds' performance is one we can all reluctantly applaud."

**shmerham** · 08-04-2007, 09:52 AM

^^^That's gold, but it's sad gold.

Irul&Ublo says "Hey Chowds, 7 games" in 5... 4... 3...

**fez** · 08-04-2007, 10:28 AM

Originally Posted by iceman

Sox should just forfeit all their games in Safeco and stay home and rest, they'd be better off.

what? chucking timlin out there for a couple innings doesnt count as a forfeit?

**iceman** · 08-04-2007, 12:16 PM

Yeah, lately he's got nothing. He should probably go back on the DL and see if he can get it together. Maybe he's just done. What is he, 41?

**MassLiberal** · 08-04-2007, 01:56 PM

Timlin has been pitching pretty well lately, I do think Terry left in him a bit too long yesterday though...

**smmokan** · 08-05-2007, 09:22 AM

Random stat I just saw on ESPN.com that is pretty amazing. The D-Backs are 62-50 on the season, but they've been OUTSCORED by 32 runs. For comparison, the Yankees are 60-50, and they've scored almost 150 more runs than their opponents.

**Rontele** · 08-05-2007, 10:09 AM

Can the Tigers play any worse? Fuck me, but our pitching is the absolute shit lately.

**irul&ublo** · 08-07-2007, 01:33 PM

Yankees...best record in BB since AS break. 6 back of the chowds and only 1/2 game out of the wild card.

**idiot** · 08-07-2007, 01:41 PM

reds are on there way to the top......

well, were out of last place at least!!!!

**powder11** · 08-07-2007, 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by irul&ublo

Yankees... 6 back of the chowds and only 1/2 game out of the wild card.

Yankee fans are the new Red Sox fans

**fez** · 08-07-2007, 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by irul&ublo

Yankees...best record in BB since AS break. 6 back of the chowds and only 1/2 game out of the wild card.

is 6 your favorite number?
every time the skanks get to within 6 we hear from you again.
then they fall back a game or two and not a word, you dont write, you dont call. i almost start to miss you.

**smmokan** · 08-07-2007, 08:33 PM

You can't tell me the Sox fans (and the rest of the AL) aren't getting really fucking scared at the way the Yankees are playing right now. They're fucking murdering the ball, and their pitching ain't bad either.

**Brock Landers** · 08-07-2007, 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by smmokan

You can't tell me the Sox fans (and the rest of the AL) aren't getting really fucking scared at the way the Yankees are playing right now. They're fucking murdering the ball, and their pitching ain't bad either.

The Sox fans (and the rest of the AL) aren't getting really fucking scared.....

There, had to be said.

Noone thought it was over in May or June. 6 games is still 6 games, but theres 2 months left either way. Yanks were 6 back a month ago too.

**smmokan** · 08-08-2007, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by Brock Landers

Noone thought it was over in May or June. 6 games is still 6 games, but theres 2 months left either way. Yanks were 6 back a month ago too.

Yes, but now they're only 5 games back.

**Woodsy** · 08-08-2007, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by smmokan

Yes, but now they're only 5 games back.

and every player on their team is white hot right now
I am sure they will keep that up thru the fall
and the dodgers will continue to suck this bad till the end.

**MassLiberal** · 08-08-2007, 08:11 AM

Yes, but let's talk in the beginning of September, after the yanks play their stretch of games vs. Angels, Tigers, and Indians.

Congratulations on beating up on KC, TB, and Toronto.

**fez** · 08-08-2007, 08:16 AM

the skanks are on a spectacular tear. 20 and 7 since the all star break, thats a 74% winning percentage. it would be nice if there were an AL team or two who could help the sox out by taking a game from the yankers every now and then.

and if the sox could help themselves out by not getting shelled, that would be ok too.

**Benny Profane** · 08-08-2007, 08:20 AM

The Tigers? Bring em on. The other guys too.

**powder11** · 08-08-2007, 08:54 AM

Originally Posted by MassLiberal

Congratulations on beating up on KC, TB, and Toronto.

spot on. the last month has been outstanding for the Yankees while pretty bad for the Red Sox and the Yankees are still 6 games behind the Sox

good luck chasing that wild card!

**TNKen** · 08-08-2007, 09:29 AM

Saw the Yanks over the weekend, and got to see A-Rod smash the big one. Pretty cool. One of the guys I was with knew one of the Royals pitchers, Jimmy Gobble. Gobble told us the Yankees were one of the most disciplined teams he ever faced. Wouldn't swing at anything. They roughed him up pretty good on Friday night, but not all his fault. He took the mound with bases loaded and no outs. Managed to get 3 runs off him.

Trip report with pics when I get the CD back.

Ken

**Woodsy** · 08-08-2007, 09:52 AM

Originally Posted by Benny Profane

Is he? Somehow he made it to sainthood status. Probably after ring#3. But he should have been canned after last year. Enough already. There's no fire on that team, and all the exciting coaches are gone (bring back Zim!). I wanted Pinella walking around in pinstripes with a clean shave after last fall, gumbling at the press, players, and the world, but he's being wasted on the Cubs. Don't know who else who is worthy is out there.

so
does Torre still suck now that the team is killing it?

**Brock Landers** · 08-09-2007, 09:17 PM

Ahhh Woodsy...what the fuck is up with the Dodgers?

**smmokan** · 08-10-2007, 09:26 PM

Attaboy Gagne.

**Benny Profane** · 08-11-2007, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by Woodsy

so
does Torre still suck now that the team is killing it?

Oh no, he only sucks when they aren't killing it. Anybody can manage those guys when they all start to click like this.

Kinda like a good mutual fund manager. Anybody can make big bucks in a bull market. I want the guy who protects me in down times.