Older parents-WWYD?

[The Reverend Floater]

Paging dr kevorkian. Or Soylent green.

I wish we could allow assisted departure. For the old and infirm living useless lives.
My mom is ready. I would hold her hand while they pushed the syringe. Just as I would for an animal.
I dread getting to that stage.
And for myself would prefer a peaceful exit.

Switzerland.

[dunfree]

Switzerland.

when you suggest the most expensive option


these days canada is pretty good with killing off

[The Reverend Floater]

when you suggest the most expensive option


these days canada is pretty good with killing off

It's free. Yes, you have to get there.

[old goat]

KQ, I’m that ER guy, that’s my job. At my facility we routinely admit elderly folks for “observation” then transition to “inpatient” with the plan of swing bed status for inpatient skilled nursing/rehab. I work in a tiny rural hospital so I have to cover the role of ED, and hospitalist.

We do this stuff daily, it’s almost always pelvic/hip fractures in elderly. Most get discharged to Assisted living, some long term care, some hospice, some to home. It’s tough in big hospitals to admit these folks, and it’s wrong not to at the same time. At my tiny hospital we get no push back, and frequently do “respite care” social admits for cases just like your moms.

The system is broken, but so are Americans values towards our elders. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s a brutal time universally for everyone, including the helpless ER providers.

This^^^^. Medicare doesn't tell the hospital they can't admit someone who doesn't fit their criteria. They just won't pay for it. KQ--I'm disturbed they wouldn't admit her the first and second visits. The hospital had no trouble admitting my mom with very similar circumstances.

(She also had an medical alert button--and refused to use it when she fell and couldn't get up with a broken pelvis, so she lay on the floor all night.. She eventually got home for several more years. I stayed with her for a few weeks when she got out of the hospital, then my sister-in-law found 3 women to do shifts of home care for a very reasonable price. Detroit. My Mom, bless her heart, when she had a bad pneumonia: "Don't take me to the ER." Me: "Are you saying you don't want aggressive care, that you want to be kept comfortable and let nature take its course." Mom: No! Let them do everything they can, just don't take me to the ER." Me: "That's not how it works." I think what kept her going as long as she did was that she had rooms full of clothes she had never worn and was planning to wear them all before she died. Which would have made her 140.

KQ--best wishes for you and your mom on the next leg of your journey together.

[liv2ski]

Well, I am at the end of our journey together. I have been caring for my mom since she had a stroke while waiting for her End of Life potion from hospice
It has been very stressful dealing with the EOL BS they made my mom jump through and the delays as she withered away, but here we are.
The drugs have been delivered and today is the day she is finally released from years of pain from fucking West Nile virus.
We have gotten really close over these last weeks together and it will be very hard to say Bon Voyage, but it is time.
Hug the people you love.

[gravitylover]

You ok? I'll be in this position with my dad within a few months. Not looking forward to it.

[Core Shot]

Hugs liv2ski

It sucks. But no one gets out of here alive
Cliché
Of course.

[liv2ski]

Ya, I'm ok, thanks. Relieved actually as it has been so hard for her. Why do we make it so hard for a sick person to die?

[singlecross]

The only answer that I came to is because a person has assets… a pet does not. In this instance we treat pets better than people.

I went through this with my Mom a year ago or so… very frustrating.

Wishing you both comfort and peace.

[Bunion 2020]

Ya, I'm ok, thanks. Relieved actually as it has been so hard for her. Why do we make it so hard for a sick person to die?

Best wishes to you and your mom. The last visit I had with mine it was obvious what it was. I will never regret that last trip and the final hug.

[Meadow Skipper]

Wishing kindness and peace for you and yours, l2s.

Sad to hear about the EOL bureaucracy issues.

[fatnslow]

Caring for your ailing parents is one of the greatest previlage in life. Helping them walk to the finish line together is the ultimate duty as a child if your lucky enough to be there.

[KQ]

Well, I am at the end of our journey together. I have been caring for my mom since she had a stroke while waiting for her End of Life potion from hospice
It has been very stressful dealing with the EOL BS they made my mom jump through and the delays as she withered away, but here we are.
The drugs have been delivered and today is the day she is finally released from years of pain from fucking West Nile virus.
We have gotten really close over these last weeks together and it will be very hard to say Bon Voyage, but it is time.
Hug the people you love.

With exception to Dylan Thomas - may she go gentle into that good night

[PNWbrit]

Wife is back in the UK visiting her father in hospital after a fairly major stroke. Doesn't sound like he's going home again, discussions about long term care after hospital get him stabilized. He's only 75 in years but closer to 90 in age.

[Hopeless Sinner]

Caring for your ailing parents is one of the greatest previlage in life. Helping them walk to the finish line together is the ultimate duty as a child if your lucky enough to be there.

x~

Should one be in such a position it's also a great example for your children.

[byates1]

Best wishes liv2ski. Hope things are as good as they can be.

[liv2ski]

Thanks all. She went peacefully in about 20 minutes after drinking that potion. I hope per her beliefs, that she is in a much better place now with her mom and my sister.
So happy to be home with my wife, 2 doggies and 3 kitties.

[skaredshtles]

Thanks all. She went peacefully in about 20 minutes after drinking that potion. I hope per her beliefs, that she is in a much better place now with her mom and my sister.
So happy to be home with my wife, 2 doggies and 3 kitties.

Condolences, l2s. Sure wish we could, as a species, get on board with this type of dignified route.

[KQ]

Thanks all. She went peacefully in about 20 minutes after drinking that potion. I hope per her beliefs, that she is in a much better place now with her mom and my sister.
So happy to be home with my wife, 2 doggies and 3 kitties.

[Dantheman]

Why do we make it so hard for a sick person to die?

We treat our dogs better. VSED is an option that's legal in all 50 states with no red tape attached: https://www.compassionandchoices.org/our-issues/vsed

[concretejungle]

Thanks all. She went peacefully in about 20 minutes after drinking that potion. I hope per her beliefs, that she is in a much better place now with her mom and my sister.
So happy to be home with my wife, 2 doggies and 3 kitties.

My condolences.

My dad chose the same route a few years ago (ALS took him down in under a year). Initially it hurt like hell but after spending time with him his decision was the correct one and I'm glad I was there with him and he was finally pain free.

[ticketchecker]

My dad's favorite saying: "The golden years ain't so damned golden."

My grandmothers version: “ you know what they say about the golden years? Well it’s a bunch of shit.”

She passed at 86 about 15 years ago.

Reading this thread for the first time, all of it. Grateful for the sharing that takes place in this kooky corner of the interwebz.

I’m 59 and between my brothers family, my lady and my own we’ve got seven elders in our world and shit is getting real.

We’ve got one in memory care, one just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, another with increasing memory and balance issues. All are 80+ and it feels like they’re accelerating in the aging process.

Vibes to all of us as we navigate the circle of life





Sent from the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen

[skiJ]

my Condolences l2s.

peace. With love

tj

[skiJ]

per ticketchecker, There definitely can seem to be apparent 'acceleration' as End of Life approaches -

I cherish the Time I had with my parents in the last year of their lives
( not everyone is as fortunate. And not everyone would see it that way... )

Please
Do what you can for your parents < you will Not regret it
( And if you can't do anything, That's okay, Too ! !!

... try not to have regrets --

Each relationship is unique, And Only You can decide what is Right for You. !

Good luck.
( The End finally only comes once. )

tj

[liv2ski]

You're a wise man SkiJ