Older parents-WWYD?

[Meadow Skipper]

So start getting rid of shit.

What?!? My skiing shit, climbing shit, camping shit, records, pron…? Cancel that last one, but you’re right, and I have been working, slowly, on it.

[riser4]

My wife, having seen the shit left behind for me to deal with, and the shit left behind by her parents,; s trying to get rid of everything. It's a smidge pathological, but she's not wrong.

[skaredshtles]

What?!? My skiing shit, climbing shit, camping shit, records, pron…? Cancel that last one, but you’re right, and I have been working, slowly, on it.

I'll take your skiing, climbing, and camping shit.

[riser4]

I'll take your skiing, climbing, and camping shit.

I'd rather have his skiing, climbing, and camping gear. But you do you.

[californiagrown]

What?!? My skiing shit, climbing shit, camping shit, records, pron…? Cancel that last one, but you’re right, and I have been working, slowly, on it.

I had an old guy in his 80s down the street from me growing up, looked like Santa. One day he was walking by and saw 11 yr old me and my dad loading up the car for a camping trip and he asked if we could use any extra camping equipment. Turns out the guy was like an OG mountaineer in the Cascades and Sierra and had a garage full of mountaineering equipment from the 60s and 70s including a fuckton of maps, guides, and books from the 40s, 50's and 60's that i made sure to keep. Some of those maps have some pretty gnarly routes marked in on them. I still have some of the stuff he gave me like the camp pots/utensils, a tent, the shitter trowel and some paracord. I even had his big fluffy down bag (drycleaned) for many years but lost it during college.

Moral of the story, is that if you have cool shit, and your family doesnt want it, find a youth group to pass it down to. Theyll be stoked.

[KQ]

My wife, having seen the shit left behind for me to deal with, and the shit left behind by her parents,; s trying to get rid of everything. It's a smidge pathological, but she's not wrong.

What Is Swedish Death Cleaning? How the Method Can Help You Declutter

[KQ]

Anyone here had to purchase a hospital type bedside table? I'm looking online but reviews are all over the place. Would appreciate a rec if anyone has one.

[riser4]

Anyone here had to purchase a hospital type bedside table? I'm looking online but reviews are all over the place. Would appreciate a rec if anyone has one.

My wife got this off Amazon and it sucked: https://a.co/d/8D5E7fV. It falls over because the foot is the counterweight and it's designed to go under the bed. Under our bed is full of stuff.

[Cisco Kid]

Making some decisions here too. What to do with things we have that are 4-5 generations old and the kids don't seem to want?

[4matic]

Making some decisions here too. What to do with things we have that are 4-5 generations old and the kids don't seem to want?

If it has no real value get rid of it. I’m happy I sorted through my parents personal stuff and kept a few things but otherwise it all went to donation.

[KQ]

Making some decisions here too. What to do with things we have that are 4-5 generations old and the kids don't seem to want?

I've been toying with the idea of starting a family FB page and scanning pics etc and putting it out there for family to see and claim. After that not sure there is much you can do except reach out to area historical societies that might be interested in things that are regionally/heritage connected.

[Meadow Skipper]

…a garage full of mountaineering equipment from the 60s and 70s including a fuckton of maps, guides, and books from the 40s, 50's and 60's that i made sure to keep.

That shit is good shit.

Moral of the story, is that if you have cool shit, and your family doesnt want it, find a youth group to pass it down to. Theyll be stoked.

I’ve been doing stuff like that - scouts, ski teams, adaptive skiing, etc. And also some nearly free shit on TGR.

[KQ]

OK, we have tried to cover elderly parents, what about aging siblings?

My 73 year old special needs sister is doing pretty good. My middle sister just turned 71 and tends to repeat herself, a lot and is having a hard time accepting she is 71.
Last night she called me about some other bullshit and gradually I wormed it out of her that she (married 41 years to a good guy) has started an affair (maybe emotional maybe not) with a former high school friend.

WTF?????

That is strange - maybe early onset alzheimers? My friend's husband started having an affair and she ended up divorcing him over it then it turned out he had early onset alzheimers.

Re: your sibling requiring care - same thing as caring for/dealing with parents. Someone's got to do it (or not). I have a friend who spent 3 years being the primary caregiver for a friend who had no one else.

[Meadow Skipper]

I'll take your skiing, climbing, and camping shit.

Over my dead bod…. Oh, yeah, right - okay.

[old goat]

I had an old guy in his 80s down the street from me growing up, looked like Santa. One day he was walking by and saw 11 yr old me and my dad loading up the car for a camping trip and he asked if we could use any extra camping equipment. Turns out the guy was like an OG mountaineer in the Cascades and Sierra and had a garage full of mountaineering equipment from the 60s and 70s including a fuckton of maps, guides, and books from the 40s, 50's and 60's that i made sure to keep. Some of those maps have some pretty gnarly routes marked in on them. I still have some of the stuff he gave me like the camp pots/utensils, a tent, the shitter trowel and some paracord. I even had his big fluffy down bag (drycleaned) for many years but lost it during college.

Moral of the story, is that if you have cool shit, and your family doesnt want it, find a youth group to pass it down to. Theyll be stoked.

Any old copies of Squallywood by chance?

[Iowagriz]

Moved the MIL two years ago into a smaller place. Wife and her went through everything, and MIL usually started the convo with "I thought you'd want to keep that." Wife usually answered with, "I have no idea what that is (or why it was important).

It turns out that the old item (whatever it was) was important to mom because it was a dear relatives item, or family item. My wife either didn't know that or never knew the person.

Lesson learned was that if it is important to you, make sure the kids understand why. Everything else will be tossed.

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[Bunion 2020]

That is strange - maybe early onset alzheimers? My friend's husband started having an affair and she ended up divorcing him over it then it turned out he had early onset alzheimers.

That thought has occurred to me. My mothers sister had some cognitive issues long before she passed and as much as it pains me, my sister really reminds me of my Aunt at times.

Re: your sibling requiring care - same thing as caring for/dealing with parents. Someone's got to do it (or not). I have a friend who spent 3 years being the primary caregiver for a friend who had no one else.

THAT is a real friend.

[Yonder_River]

That is strange - maybe early onset alzheimers? My friend's husband started having an affair and she ended up divorcing him over it then it turned out he had early onset alzheimers.

Re: your sibling requiring care - same thing as caring for/dealing with parents. Someone's got to do it (or not). I have a friend who spent 3 years being the primary caregiver for a friend who had no one else.

I've heard dementia, in particular lew body, can initially increase the desire for sex, almost to an obsessive level. Might be a correlation there..

[KQ]

THAT is a real friend.

No shit. She is a force of nature that one. Wish she lived closer to me, I could use her right now.

[Bunion 2020]

I've heard dementia, in particular lew body, can initially increase the desire for sex, almost to an obsessive level. Might be a correlation there..

At the risk of TMI. My sisters chief complaint was the lack of "action" for 5+ years. Way more than I needed to know.

[lowsparkco]

huh. that happened to my Mom when selling her house (lost keys, forgotten conversations, etc.) and things then got really weird for a bit, where she thought the RE agent was trying to rip her off. We found out months later she had a mini-stroke which explained everything. Not to say that's the problem with you, but heads up...we thought it was moving stress too.

Thanks for the heads up.

I’m her RE agent, so if things go sideways I’m in big trouble.

My wife works with stroke patients so it’s on our radar, but we’re all waiting for her to get settled and chill out a little before passing too much judgement.

[SumJongGuy]

huh. that happened to my Mom when selling her house (lost keys, forgotten conversations, etc.) and things then got really weird for a bit, where she thought the RE agent was trying to rip her off. We found out months later she had a mini-stroke which explained everything. Not to say that's the problem with you, but heads up...we thought it was moving stress too.

This is exactly how it started with my mom. When she moved here she was convinced that her sister had stolen a silver pitcher from her when her sister was helping her pack. At a loss I called my aunt and asked her if she remembered packing the pitcher. She described the box, that it was wrapped in a towel, and I found it exactly as she described it. And mini strokes were definitely the cause.. "Vascular Dementia" was the diagnosis.

[skiJ]

I had an old guy in his 80s down the street from me growing up, looked like Santa. One day he was walking by and saw 11 yr old me and my dad loading up the car for a camping trip and he asked if we could use any extra camping equipment. Turns out the guy was like an OG mountaineer in the Cascades and Sierra and had a garage full of mountaineering equipment from the 60s and 70s including a fuckton of maps, guides, and books from the 40s, 50's and 60's that i made sure to keep. Some of those maps have some pretty gnarly routes marked in on them. I still have some of the stuff he gave me like the camp pots/utensils, a tent, the shitter trowel and some paracord. I even had his big fluffy down bag (drycleaned) for many years but lost it during college.

Moral of the story, is that if you have cool shit, and your family doesnt want it, find a youth group to pass it down to. Theyll be stoked.

+1. 100%

I would give a lot to have been allowed the equipment my father and I used over the years...


( skiJ )

[oldnew_guy]

Lesson learned was that if it is important to you, make sure the kids understand why. Everything else will be tossed.

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Yeah, but I'm still not keeping the multi year collection of National Geographic magazines from the 1980's.

[riser4]

Oh Dog. BTDT.