Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**xksrx** · 03-18-2008, 12:35 AM

Originally Posted by Razorslug

I believe you just got jonged, ON the ski lift no less.

How exactly did I get "jonged"??? the girl didn't like the corduroy.

**AbsolutStoli** · 03-18-2008, 11:15 PM

these happened about two weeks ago. my buddy flew in from ny to ski for an extended weekend at vail and beaver creek. he arrived at the condo at like 3am so we decided to do a late day the next day. got on the shuttle around 10ish and there are these three girls on there discussing the plan of action for the day at vail. now, i dont typically judge on appearance, but they were obviously newbs. i wasnt really paying attention to their conversation, but then one of them shouts to the others "we are not jumping over any cliffs today!" i almost fell out of my seat.

and this other one came from one of my friends. shes just learning (for the past 2 years), but shes not pushing herself and doesnt seem like she really wants to learn. that same weekend she only came out once.

so shes messaging with another person that came out that weekend and says "it was a great time! next time without the newbs though."

she was referring to my friend, who is kind of annoying sometimes...but ive known him for a long time, and thats no reason to deny him a ski trip out here...especially since it was his first time here. aside from the late start on the day after his arrival he opened and closed with us, and kept up with all of us pretty well. i thought it was funny that she of all people would be calling someone else on that trip a newb. lol

**ggski** · 03-19-2008, 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by Lev

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I thought it was pretty straight forward...

Maybe he would prefer...I laughed so loudly it caused some body parts to explode.

**jepilot** · 03-19-2008, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by ggski

Maybe he would prefer...I laughed so loudly it caused some body parts to explode.

anybody want a peanut?

**JohnF** · 03-19-2008, 08:44 AM

This is more of a gaper "encounter"...

Friend and I were x-c skiing Adk Loj to Upper Works through Avalanche Pass in the Adirondacks. Bluebird day.
We come out onto Avalanche Lake and set a new track as none exists on the snow on the lake. We stop in the middle of the lake to take in views, drink, and snack. This guy comes up the track we set, heading straight for us. He stops and glares at us, as if we are blocking his way, harumphs and skis around us. It was pretty absurd.

**DaHeel** · 03-19-2008, 08:59 AM

I got " Is that a snorkle?" on the lift last weekend. I smiled and politely said no. No more follow up questions were asked.

**flatNshallow** · 03-19-2008, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by Lev

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I thought it was pretty straight forward...

Busting a gut = LOLing...

Busting a nut on the other hand....

**Microcosm** · 03-19-2008, 02:16 PM

Originally Posted by AbsolutStoli

these happened about two weeks ago. my buddy flew in from ny to ski for an extended weekend at vail and beaver creek. he arrived at the condo at like 3am so we decided to do a late day the next day. got on the shuttle around 10ish and there are these three girls on there discussing the plan of action for the day at vail. now, i dont typically judge on appearance, but they were obviously newbs. i wasnt really paying attention to their conversation, but then one of them shouts to the others "we are not jumping over any cliffs today!" i almost fell out of my seat.

and this other one came from one of my friends. shes just learning (for the past 2 years), but shes not pushing herself and doesnt seem like she really wants to learn. that same weekend she only came out once.

so shes messaging with another person that came out that weekend and says "it was a great time! next time without the newbs though."

she was referring to my friend, who is kind of annoying sometimes...but ive known him for a long time, and thats no reason to deny him a ski trip out here...especially since it was his first time here. aside from the late start on the day after his arrival he opened and closed with us, and kept up with all of us pretty well. i thought it was funny that she of all people would be calling someone else on that trip a newb. lol

aaaah, bitch. bros before hoes dude. I guess I understand though, sometimes you just don't want a person around for no particular reason. of course, that's still no reason to be immature about it.

**powder weasel** · 03-19-2008, 02:18 PM

Lower lift at Skibowl on Sunday: Man in camo hunting pants tucked into his skiboots with what looked like a Seattle Seahawks soft-shell jacket. He got all the way to the front of the line before he realized he only had one pole and has no clue where the other one is. Then I happen to notice that, for whatever bizarre reason, there is a pair of sunglasses sitting on his left ski. I don't know how they could have stayed on his ski tip as he made his way to the loading area, or how he could not have noticed. So I courteously let him know they were there. He picks them up and finally managed to flail out of the line and everyone's way while empty chairs went by. I hope he found his other pole.

**Wes Mantooth** · 03-30-2008, 07:46 PM

On the north face chair at Mount Snow today:
gaper lady: The snow is really good today!
me: Yeah it was great up on haystack yesterday
gaper lady: Haystack! How'd you ski that?
me: Well it's open to everyone. You just go and ask the guys working to turn the lifts on for you. They're trying to save power up there so it's the new method
gaper lady (really serious): That doesn't sound like a very good idea

**Hurdy Girdy Man** · 03-30-2008, 10:03 PM

Originally Posted by xksrx

we spot a snowboarder out of control with terrible form through powder bumps.

Best Gaper quote I've heard or read all day!

**muted** · 03-30-2008, 10:19 PM

Originally Posted by gorskier

Alright, alright. I was the Gaper this weekend. First lap EVER in Granite Canyon (endless to mile long in waist deep pow all the way down, gimped with a knee brace from a torn MCL in Jan.) Boyfriend with a cracked shoulder in arm sling insists on carrying my skis on part of the never ending side step/traverse out. Tells me to turn around and look up, Amazing sun hitting a gorgeous peak. My reaction- "Is that the GRAND?" yuk yuk.

A boyfriend who carries your skis out from Granite with an arm in a sling?

I hope he gets BJ's and steak dinners in bed every night for stuff like that.

And for some of you other guys posting here: being rude or ignoring a gaper for a clueless comment makes you an elitist prick. Lighten up a little.

**AsheanMT** · 03-30-2008, 10:24 PM

Scene 1
ME: Cashier at ski shop in rich resort town
HER: Paying for his and hers newly mounted nordica conquers and superchargers
Conditions: 15 inches yesterday 6+ early morning
Her: "So how is the snow up there?"
Me: "So good it makes you want to ski every day for the rest of your life. Might be a little chopped by now"
Her: "Why are the groomers broken?"

**adam** · 03-30-2008, 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by jepilot

anybody want a peanut?

GAH!

5678

**wildstyle** · 03-31-2008, 05:04 AM

2 sloane rangers in a cabin in morzine, france...

her: where else have you skied in the alps
him: val d'isere, i haven't been there for a few years
her: ok ....(pause) ... whats the name of the village in val d'isere?
him ...um....val d'isere
her: oh really ?
him: ..yes

**Toadman** · 03-31-2008, 10:12 AM

It's not a quote but it qualifies for a gaper moment. As I was driving home from Xtal on Saturday, I noticed a guy walking on the jersey barrier between two solid lines of traffic holding a pair of Atomic skis. Looks like the tip on one had been split in two. No doubt however these skis had been secured to the vehicle was not done properly. There basically was only about a foot of shoulder on either side of the barrier. If the guy fell off the barrier he probably would have been hit.

**mashed_penguin** · 03-31-2008, 11:20 AM

At the Whistler carpark yesterday.

Well to do Mustached Man: "Do we have to carry our own skis to the lifts!?!"
Well to do Fur booted Woman: "Surely not, there must be a valet or something."

The last I saw them they were standing there waiting for a valet...

**carvedog** · 03-31-2008, 12:13 PM

Originally Posted by Out_to_lunch

While riding up blue sky basin at Vail a guy had fallen bellow the lift and was taking a while getting his skis back on. His friends response...
"What's the matter, you got snow in your vagina up there?"

Thanks that was a good laugh Out_to.

At Crested Butte
Me talking to buddy on chair: Want to go to Cripple Creek? (meaning has nothing to do with any ski terrain)

Chris: Yeah that would be great if you're holdin'.

We proceed to talk about the place to go for this activity and subsequent turns.

Tourist on chair with map open: There doesn't seem to be a Cripple Creek on here, where is it?

Chris: The ski patrol likes to keep it for themselves, so they didn't put it on the map.

Tourist: Do you mind if I follow you?

Chris: Yes.

That's the best I could remember right now. Definitely need to be on this thread.

**JabbaTheHuck** · 03-31-2008, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by mashed_penguin

At the Whistler carpark yesterday.

Well to do Mustached Man: "Do we have to carry our own skis to the lifts!?!"
Well to do Fur booted Woman: "Surely not, there must be a valet or something."

The last I saw them they were standing there waiting for a valet...

I would do more BC if they only had valets.

User Name Skier · 03-31-2008, 02:13 PM

"WHAT IS GAPER DAY?"
-guy on the chairlift asks me.

**Sutter** · 03-31-2008, 04:07 PM

Standing in the gondi line at Jackson, there's a girl who decorated her goggle frames with all kinds of fake jewels and gems in a funny, creative way. Guy standing next to her says, "You should, like, go to the village in New York City and sell those to all the homos."

**Phill** · 03-31-2008, 05:20 PM

Day after 20" in 4 days: Riding up the lift with a ~ 40 year old man on some sally xtra hots or something who asks me "How do you like those wide skis in these firm conditions" to which I replied "I don't know, I haven't found any firm conditions yet"

**tigerstripe40** · 03-31-2008, 05:24 PM

In the powderhorn rental and repair shop.
Right after a 14" dump:

German dude: "Zee's Bro<183's>'s are no good for zee moguls, I vant somesing else"

**powder_prophet** · 03-31-2008, 07:49 PM

Heard today at Monarch. A lady walks up to the ticket window, with her tickets in hand: "Ok, so we bought these tickets, do we need armbands or something to get on the lifts?"

**jepilot** · 03-31-2008, 07:51 PM

Originally Posted by tigerstripe40

In the powderhorn rental and repair shop.
Right after a 14" dump:

German dude: "Zee's Bro<183's>'s are no good for zee moguls, I vant somesing else"

So, they're actually in the main rental fleet there now? Pretty sweet. I saw a whole bunch of BROs in the back room back in January when I was there...so regretful that I didn't try any, but I realized that I still sucked at skiing.