Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**pappag** · 07-11-2008, 09:14 AM

Two weeks ago on the hike out after skiing in RMNP, we passed this guy that stopped Out_to_lunch who had a pair of skis with tele bindings attached to his pack.

Gaper dude: "Did you ski down or telemark?"

**DropCliffsNotBombs** · 07-11-2008, 09:48 AM

While getting into a raft a tourist asked "do we get out at the same place that we get in the raft?"

Rivers don't run in circles on this planet!!!

**refried** · 07-11-2008, 10:01 AM

I was riding the lift at Baker on a powder day with a father and his son who was about 10, the father looks at the skis on the guy in the chair ahead of us (reverse camber and super wide) and tell his son "Those are clown skis, They use those for water skiing jumps like we saw them do at Sea World. I don't they'll work in all this snow, He needs some better skis".
Skinning up a crowded skintrack I passed a couple guys who were postholing there way up with snowboards and thier friend with alpine gear I overhear one say "Fuckin' telemarkers have it easy they can ski up this stuff". I was on a splitboard.

**KungFu Eddie** · 07-11-2008, 04:49 PM

I work at a camping store in Australia and deal with outdoor gapers everyday. A few days ago a guy came in looking for a pair of boots to walk the kakoda trail (pretty gnar trail through PNG) in. He was trying a pair on because they look nicer than ones i recomended, then complained that the floor was uneven so he couldn't tell if they were right. It took all my strength not to point out that if you can't handle an uneven floor in a shop you might be in a bit of strife when walking for a week through a jungle.

**_Aaron_** · 07-12-2008, 10:18 PM

Originally Posted by DropCliffsNotBombs

While getting into a raft a tourist asked "do we get out at the same place that we get in the raft?"

Rivers don't run in circles on this planet!!!

I cant tell you how many times Ive heard that one. What do you think it is? A lazy river ride?

**kailas** · 07-13-2008, 07:34 AM

Typical gaper talk," I just moved here from NY now I'm a local!"

**DropCliffsNotBombs** · 07-14-2008, 07:59 AM

Originally Posted by kailas

Typical gaper talk," I just moved here from NY now I'm a local!"

If I had a nickel every time I heard that one! The only folks throwing around the word "local" seem to have just moved to town!!

**kailas** · 07-14-2008, 08:07 AM

How bout one I've heard a few times; " so are snowcats dangerous, do they bite and live in the woods?"

**YoEddy** · 07-14-2008, 11:56 AM

heh heh - a lot of the quotes here take me back to my days of being a ski bum / river rat. I've heard the 'lazy river' question more than once myself.

My favorite quote was a Texan to his wife as he went to buckle hit boots ... <full drawl> "here honey, hold my sticks while I cynch-up my rigs".

**jwproulx** · 07-14-2008, 09:01 PM

Originally Posted by Nick Pappagiorgio

Two weeks ago on the hike out after skiing in RMNP, we passed this guy that stopped Out_to_lunch who had a pair of skis with tele bindings attached to his pack.

Gaper dude: "Did you ski down or telemark?"

Nice bump.

I actually got a very similar question a couple of weeks before that at Bear Lake on our mildly ill-fated trip to Flattop -- someone asked me if there's still "cross-country" skiing up there.

I expect to hear "Did you go skiing?" (answer: "No, I just took the boards out for a walk. They like the fresh air." Which I stole.) But half-way coherent variations on the theme throw me off. I said, "Uh, just downhill. We hiked up."

**powder_prophet** · 01-03-2009, 10:56 AM

Since it is the height of gaper season around the West, I'm sure y'all have been hearing some funny-ass shit!!! Post it up!

Last week, we parked next to a Texan in the Monarch lot. While putting on our boots, he asked us: "Hey guys, I havn't been up there yet; you think it's warm enough to just wear jeans?"

**pbourdon** · 01-03-2009, 11:45 AM

A few years back while I was working as an instructor at Sugar Bowl (the big 05-06 el nino year) on a huge nuking storm day where the winds are blowing through the base area at a sustained 45-50mph with higher gusts and visibilities less than 100ft, a middle aged lady in a golden fart-bag carrying straight skis across the front of her body comes up to me (I was working at the time and in uniform) and asks me:

"What's the weather like at the top of the mountain today?"

I look around at the apocalyptic conditions and say totally deadpan:

"It's about 50 degrees and sunny up there with no wind."

She looks stoked, and says, "great, I was hoping it would be better up top, Thanks..." and heads off for the lift....

**Full Throttle!** · 01-03-2009, 12:17 PM

"Does the Gondola close down when it's snowing?"
"This is bogus! Where is all the powder skiing here?"(10 days after last storm)

**fish** · 01-03-2009, 12:19 PM

"Pull your pants up."

I proceeded to tell the guy (wearing a red bogner and ray bans) to shut the fuck up

**stoneage** · 01-03-2009, 12:39 PM

"The kid i crashed into stood up and screamed a bunch of crap i couldnt understand and then just dissapears down the hill."

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...d.php?t=146051

**pbourdon** · 01-03-2009, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by stoneage

"The kid i crashed into stood up and screamed a bunch of crap i couldnt understand and then just dissapears down the hill."

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...d.php?t=146051

From the same thread:

"We had a great dump here the last couple of days. (probably 20 inches), and i was pumped to go skiing today. On one of the last runs i'm just slaying it down the groomers to get back to the lifts."

**Clone** · 01-03-2009, 01:07 PM

Getting off the chair...

Me: Which way you going?
Dude: Aw man my friends from Seattle are here and I'm going to meet up with them then we probably going over to the prospect bowl...
Me: Ummm... I meant left or right.

**YardDog313** · 01-03-2009, 01:31 PM

Hah, good stuff. Seeing as I've been out with a couple broken ribs I haven't heard any good ones on the mtn, but I might have a good visual for you.

I work in an open kitchen in town and at least once a week I get a group walking in with all the gear still on, the kitchen is right next to the entrance so it sounds like a group of elephants knocking in the front of the building when people are wearing ski boots. One of my favorite groups, all in ski boots wearing jeans and bright neon jackets that look like they came from the salvation army circa late 70s early 80s. All have the ends of their jeans tucked nicely into their boots, and tooks and goggles on their heads, one guy even has his goggles down looking real cool seeing as it's 9pm and dark as hell out. Well I guess there is a quote in there, dude with bright neon pink jacket and goggles lowered, says to wife in matching neon jacket, "Jesus, these things are a bitch to walk around town in, I have no idea how the hell people can ski in them all day,"

Only thing I can think of when this is being said, you actually paid money to rent boots to wear while walking around town shopping???????!!!??????

**coretard** · 01-03-2009, 02:06 PM

too many to count

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rok0aq8iWoM

**pbourdon** · 01-03-2009, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by cu77

too many to count

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rok0aq8iWoM

Two of my favorite quotes from that clip:

"(in a slight drawl) what is that 'bout 65-70 degrees n-thar?"

and of course:

"SESSIONS!!!!!!!"

Fuckin' classic..............nice

**Mary Jane Hottie** · 01-03-2009, 05:29 PM

Villian: "How long you been skiing?" Hero: "Bout 35 years." Hero:"How bout you?" Villian: "This is our 30th year! We come out to a different resort every year for a week. I'm good but since you have 5 more years on me your probably better. We go back to Houston on monday."

**.rockbottomfreerider.** · 01-03-2009, 05:32 PM

...not really a gaper quote, but i did wish i coulda hit this women:
We were riding up the lift at Vail and the women on the end of the chair was complaining to her friend about a heli trip she had been on, she apparently hated it because the "helicopter was too noisy" and "the snow was too deep, so I couldnt make good turns"

**powhore** · 01-03-2009, 05:42 PM

Pow day at the Boat...

"How do they frost all the trees"

**MultiVerse** · 01-03-2009, 06:00 PM

Stopped for a break. As I was walking in, I passed a guy trying to put his twin-tip skis on backwards so I delicately told him that he would have an easier time if he turned 180 degrees and then tried to click into his bindings. When I came out he had turned around—with his skis—and had actually managed to click into one of the bindings facing backwards. I helped him out… but FKNA, maybe it’s better to just let them be in order to spare them the embarrassment.

**booner** · 01-03-2009, 06:01 PM

Not a quote, just a vent. Almost every time I come from the lodge/car and get back into the singles line(which is uphill from the point I click in) I get to the end of the line at the same time someone is getting there from the mtn. So since I don't want or need to skate uphill another 6 feet I stand just slightly off to the side and ALWAYS let the other person go first. Then, before that person moves down the line enough to let me get totally in line another comes down and cuts me off or tries to. When I squeeze my way into my place in line they always give me a look, or if they are a dumb bitch they say something to their friend out loud like I can't hear them. It is usually a dumb broad that apparently isn't required to pay attention to her surroundings in her daily routine as a kept woman.