Post Your Stripper Stories Here

[billyk]

My best stripper story didn’t involve myself, but some coworkers. So, I’m working at a big name tech company in Austin back in the 80s, and we are recruiting college new hires. It wasn’t unheard of to take a prospect out to eat, and sometimes that involved going out to bars or even topless clubs afterwards. And, of course, write the whole thing off on the expense report.

We did a lot of hiring from Georgia Tech, and had brought several GT graduates on board. They all knew each other from school, and were a pretty tight group. There was one other guy from GT that this group was tight with that we also wanted to hire, so we let the GT guys handle the wining and dining of their friend.

Turns out they took the guy on a road trip down to “Boys Town” in Mexico down by Laredo. This was back when that was a fairly safe thing to do. Not only did they take him out to strip clubs, but they actually paid to get him laid. And, they managed to write everything off on the expense report.

The guy accepted the job offer.

[RootSkier]

I was at a strip club for a bachelor party (State Line Showgirls in Post Falls, I am sure some of you fucking degenerates have been there). One of the attendees was a full-time, tenured professor at U of ID. Turns out one of the dancers that night was his fucking student. Bad enough, but he bought a fucking lap dance from her. He better have given her an A. Jesus.

[Sirshredalot]

I was at a strip club for a bachelor party (State Line Showgirls in Post Falls, I am sure some of you fucking degenerates have been there). One of the attendees was a full-time, tenured professor at U of ID. Turns out one of the dancers that night was his fucking student. Bad enough, but he bought a fucking lap dance from her. He better have given her an A. Jesus.

I used to know some of the State Line girls. 0 about that story surprises me.

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[Timberridge]

Post Falls seems like the sort of place you could exchange a salmon for a lap dance.

[riser4]

Post Falls seems like the sort of place you could exchange a salmon for a lap dance.

I'd want a little more than a lap dance for a fresh whole salmon.

[TahoeJ]

I’ve been on the Friday evening BUR to LAS Southwest flight a few times. It’s known as the stripper shuttle. It’s nickname rings true from my experience...

I used to ride on that flight regularly... it was awesome. This is early to mid 2000's when I was in my 20's so it was just one after another rolling onto the plane with large purses wearing juicy couture sweatsuits. Clearly a lot of failed LA actresses who had the beauty but not the acting chops. One time my buddy arranged for a few of the girls to skip their shift at the Rhino that evening and just come to our hotel suite. That was a hell of a night from what I can remember.

[steff]

I had to use some really strong stuff one time to get the paint off a bike frame.

I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

Montreal... never heard of it.

[detrusor]

I used to know some of the State Line girls. 0 about that story surprises me.

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I concur


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[Meadow Skipper]

I was at a bachelor party in Northern Wisconsin. There was a strip club called the Great Outdoors or something 45 minutes away. After a day of jet boating and drinking (probably about as dangerous as center pointing a bowl on a high avy day), we decided to head to this fine establishment. The groom passed out in the truck on the way over, after about 15 minutes of shaking, slapping and throwing water on him he came to. The bouncer had reservations about letting him in but “he’s the groom!”. So he made an economic decision and let him in. The bar was owned by a stripper who used to be a “big deal” and there were pictures of her from 20+ years ago all over the bar. At 45+ hard years she may have been the hottest one there except for the one black chick they imported from Milwaukee. The best way to describe the strippers is that if you cast them in a movie no one would believe anyone paid them to get naked.

As a result no one really wanted anything to do with the strippers so it became a game of getting the strippers to go after the other guys. But we were by far the high rollers in the club. Our one friend Rusty, had a severely broken ankle and was on crutches was trying to lay low. He was also one of the pickiest guys I know, who only dated smoking hot chicks, but Rusty was no 10 or millionaire, so they always had BAGGAGE. Well Rusty is posted up off to the side and this chick, who was easily 200 lbs with huge baby stretch marks and tits down to her belly button, saunters onto stage and starts to do the nasty. She starts coming around to where everyone is sitting and we grab Rusty’s crutches so he can’t go anywhere and start throwing money at her. She pounced on Rusty like a lion on a wounded gazelle and rode him like a cowboy on a bucking bronco. At the end of his “dance” Rusty had a wet spot on his leg from something that came out of her vagina and it smelled awful. We all gave him shit that he came himself and he was really into her.

Then it was the grooms turn so we all through in some money and ended up with like $350. We were pretty sure he was black out and wouldn’t remember this anyways. We grabbed two of the “best looking” strippers and the grooms idiot brother says what can we get for $350? The one girl looks at the other and says, “well we can blow him but I don’t know if he can get it up”. Another guy with a functioning brain is like no no no no, how about you just bring him up on stage and do some normal bachelor shit for $200? They were pumped. So they bring him up on stage. It starts with him sitting in this big chair getting a lap dance and progresses to him on the ground with one sitting on his face (Booner style, I thought he might suffocate), while the other rides his junk, one girl has her hand down his pants. Shit normal strip clubs with attractive women are not going to do. Then one takes off his belt and the other whips out some handcuffs and gets him handcuffed to the big chair. The stripper with the belt in hand pulls down his pants and says, “I’m going to teach you something about marriage”. She starts rubbing his ass, then smacks it with her hand, so we are thinking ok not too bad, then she stands up and whips his ass with his own belt as hard as she could. I think she crow hopped for the first one. There was no delay and she gave him about 10 whacks on his ass and lower back. She wrapped the belt around her hand once so there was about 2.5’ of leather to swing and she swung HARD.

I think she poured all her anger towards a terrible father, bad boyfriends and her general anger towards men into each of those strokes. Even being wasted he felt it and began trying to get up. We started protesting after the first few smacks but she got all 10 in. Groom had big angry welts on his ass and back. We’re like, bride is definitely going to see those in 36 hours. They then took him in the back room (they didn’t even bother to call it a champagne room) and did something. The next day he was struggling to remember but he was like, I’m pretty sure she sucked my dick for a while but everything is hazy.

Then the night got nuts, one guy we’ll call him JJ, had decided to put all his effort into a clothed bartender (by far the hottest chick in the bar but NOT a stripper). He’s offering her top dollar to show some skin or for a lap dance but she’s like no way, I have a boyfriend, he’ll be super mad if I did, etc. she liked him though and is flirting back and he’s throwing her big tips and getting wasted. I don’t know JJ well but he’s a big talker and he was warned not to start any shit before we go in. Next thing we know we hear JJ yelling at this skin headed biker dude who looks like he probably sells meth. JJ pushes someone else who was trying to calm things down, someone falls over and chaos ensues. The bouncer weighs in and is pulling people off, he grabs the bikers arm, and JJ gets a clumsy swing in and hits him above the eye. Biker dude starts loosing it and the bouncer starts yelling at him, “you’re on probation dude, it’s not worth it.” While trying to hold him back, biker dude has a knife out now and accidentally cuts the bouncer mildly. Biker dude is bartender chicks boyfriend.

Turns out biker dude walked in sees her flirting with JJ and doesn’t have a problem with it. Bartender introduces them and says, “this is my boyfriend I was telling you about.” Biker dude smirks at JJ like you maybe giving her money but I’m taking her home, so JJ says, “this piece of trash is your boyfriend? Just a word of advice but you shouldn’t fuck losers.” Smart JJ smart.

Somehow the bleeding bouncer convinces Biker to settle down and go to the back with his GF. Bouncer tells us to GTFO and takes me and another dude aside and says, “dude your buddy almost got killed, that dude is high up with the Outlaws. The only reason I even intervened is he told me not to let him do some stupid shit because he’s on probation and goes away for 10 years for the old crime if he commits a new crime. Get the fuck out of here before he decides to to fuck you guys up anyway.” We are stumbling back to the truck (we had 1 dd), and JJ starts randomly yelling “fuck that biker pussy, where you at bitch?” We are pushing JJ toward the truck and suddenly biker dude charges out of the brush, slams JJ into the truck and puts a knife to his throat. JJ starts crying, apologizing, and blubbering, “I’m sorry I’m sorry I was just messing around. I didn’t mean it.” Biker dude says, “who’s the pussy now, look at all your preppy pussy friends standing around not doing shit” Knees JJ in the nuts and stomach, then soccer kicks JJ in the stomach while he’s on the ground. “You’re lucky I’m on probation or I’d fucking kill you.” Bartender comes running out yelling stop stop you’re going to go to jail.

I’m thinking holy shit, he almost got us all killed. We throw JJ into the back of the pickup (there were 10 of us 5 in the cab 5 in the bed and GTFO. JJ is now mad at us because we didn’t back him up. What a douche bag.

Gonna be hard to top this one. But don’t let that discourage you.

[John_B]

(State Line Showgirls in Post Falls

I spent a night sleeping in the backseat of a truck in their parking lot once.

[krp8128]

Made a trip to Poland a few years back, boss intentionally booked return flights with a layover in Amsterdam. Some shit went down, glad I didn't submit that expense report.

[bennymac]

Made a trip to Poland a few years back, boss intentionally booked return flights with a layover in Amsterdam. Some shit went down, glad I didn't submit that expense report.

I’ve been to two bachelor parties in Amsterdam - those flights home over the Atlantic were tough. I feel like I just had to appear “healthy” enough until we were halfway home so that they wouldn’t declare me a medical emergency and turn around and go back to Europe.

But I have no stories that I remember that can compete with what’s been posted here. This thread has HoF potential.

But yes - Montreal is world class.

[seano732]

This thread is worthless w/o pictures......

[Timberridge]

This thread is worthless w/o pictures......

I recall we've gotten in trouble for that before.

[seano732]

I recall we've gotten in trouble for that before.

Lulz....good point! and nice new avatar!!!!!

[TahoeJ]

Made a trip to Poland a few years back, boss intentionally booked return flights with a layover in Amsterdam. Some shit went down, glad I didn't submit that expense report.

Did anyone in your group eat the banana?

[BmillsSkier]

I'm originally from Barre...good call.

So, I'm in the military. We have to deliver a Quarterly Training Brief in Savannah. On St. Patrick's Day (the St. Patty's Day party in Savannah rivals any in the nation. So my buddy and I grab a helicopter and fly from Kentucky down to Savannah and get the lay of the land the day before the QTB. The morons in Savannah tell us they got us hooked up with a great deal on lodging. In Hilton Head, SC. Hilton Head in March is not a happening spot but we knew better than to drive an hour after partying in Savannah; no hotel rooms available within walking distance of River Street in Savannah. So there's 6 of us hanging out in this condo and my co-pilot buddy says, let's go to the strip club. I'm not that into it but as a young lad, did spend a fair amount of time on Rue St. Catherine. I figured it was better than sitting around a condo drinking Bud Lights watching the early rounds of March Madness with a bunch of dudes.

So off we go. Ladies in the strip club were solid 8-9. My buddy and I are just hanging at the bar and this one stripper keeps giving him the eye. She finally comes over and says, "You were my husband's Tac Officer in Warrant Officer Candidate School (think basic training for helicopter pilots). So of course I buy my buddy a lap dance with this chick. He wanted to kill me. That was the extent of the thrilling evening...or so I thought.

When we get back to KY, I walk into my office to find a hat from the Strip Club displayed prominently on my desk. My boss walks by and says, nice hat. I tell him that it was from a place we bought helicopter fuel from. He was so naive, he bought it. My buddy had bought the hat and was hoping to embarrass me in front of the boss because of the lap dance I bought him with his former charge's wife. From that point on, every trip we went on, we had to go to strip clubs and buy hats. We travelled a lot. By the end of that year, I probably had 20 strip club hats hung up around my office. My boss kept asking how we knew which FBOs to stop at that had hats; he never caught on. I think my favorite was the one from the Great Alaska Bush Company because it had a bush plane on it. Made the story more plausible.

ETA: Finest strippers in the world are in Montreal.

Was this the strip club that’s on the other side of the bridge on US 17 that is exactly 1 foot across the South Carolina state line? I’ve posted some shit about that club on past trips down to Savannah. Someone with better search skills than me can find em im sure. It’s almost exactly like the Double Deuce from Roadhouse.


Also on topic, my bachelor party was in Amsterdam, and while nowhere near as degen as my buddies I can attest that shit went down.

[goldenboy]

Count me among those that isn't really into stripclubs. But I have one mediocre bachelor party story, that is nowhere near as good as some of the ones in here.

My buddy's bachelor party ends up being a mountain bike ride at Hartman's Rocks in Gunnison, then we go to a house under construction across the street that's maybe 80% done that belongs to a friend of the groom's. So it's already a weird scene, a bunch of dudes in a mostly complete house. Then the strippers show up from Denver, 4 hours away so needless to say, the top talent wasn't going going to line up for that gig. The one girl gets her shirt off, and I'm like, "what the hell am I looking at. Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" I look around and everyone else is seeing it too- the stripper has 4 nipples. So weird, and I wasn't sure if she was in the perfect profession or the worst one given her extra nipples. That's my mediocre story.

[fatnslow]

Count me among those that isn't really into stripclubs. But I have one mediocre bachelor party story, that is nowhere near as good as some of the ones in here.

My buddy's bachelor party ends up being a mountain bike ride at Hartman's Rocks in Gunnison, then we go to a house under construction across the street that's maybe 80% done that belongs to a friend of the groom's. So it's already a weird scene, a bunch of dudes in a mostly complete house. Then the strippers show up from Denver, 4 hours away so needless to say, the top talent wasn't going going to line up for that gig. The one girl gets her shirt off, and I'm like, "what the hell am I looking at. Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" I look around and everyone else is seeing it too- the stripper has 4 nipples. So weird, and I wasn't sure if she was in the perfect profession or the worst one given her extra nipples. That's my mediocre story.

did you have to pay double the price ?

[From_the_NEK]

Must have been a strange moatboating experience:



Vs

[Percy Rideout]

Must have been a strange moatboating experience:



Vs

A picture does say 1,000 words.

[goldenboy]

did you have to pay double the price ?

Who knows what the best man paid for that? I never did find out if that was a surprise for him as well, or if he knew what he was getting.

[ncskier]

The winds were out of the northeast at 10-15 knots. It was overcast on a late November day.
It’s seemed like the gails of November came early. The old cook came on deck to warm us we were in peril, but the fishing was phenomal.
I will never forget this day and the epic striper run we encountered despite the heavy toll it took on our crew.



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[PNWbrit]

Got locked in a Brussels brothel during a friend's bachelor weekend while negotiating with the employees how much it would cost to get the groom out of there without them having provided any services to him after he'd staggered in thru the door and we'd gone in after him to pull him out.

That was an interesting evening.

[Marshall Tucker]

back in the day there was this outfit "marti gras" they didn't really have strippers per se, just a bunch of nude girls hanging out, some dancing, some playing vollyball,, etc. really strange concept. I was kinda wasted buddy's roving bachelor party. What I do remember was having this long, in-depth conversation with what I recall was a very attrative mixed-race girl about how she made $120k a year (probably about 200k tody) paid tax on maybe 1/3rd that and it was a pretty good gif as she had a young daughter etc. (yes II was then and now a married CPA). All the while she was butt naked.