Wiping ass

[A-wreck]

so you keep your body in a position designed to simulate sitting but stand up?

sounds pretty stupid to me....

Yes, it does sound stupid. However, I'm not sticking my hand in a toilet.

[beaterdit]

sitters can only bunch, otherwise the feared "trauling effect" might ensue
standers can bunch or fold...

yep, my third post on this thread
is that normal?

[lemon boy]

well if you fold enough not to have a leader then you're good to go even sitting.

[bagtagley]

I really don't see how sitting increases the risk for wet tp. You have your whole lap to block it. If your standing you got the whole bowl to contend with. Also, you can do a paper inspection while sitting, and my hand never touches bowl/seat/water.

I just don't understand why you'd go to the extra trouble and effort of standing when there's a nice, comfy seat available.

Finally, anybody who says they can read Powder and wipe while standing is a liar.

[Odin]

Finally, anybody who says they can read Powder and wipe while standing is a liar.

and a terrorist!

[Ogre]

GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ONLY FUCKING ASSMUNCH NERRRRDS STAND UP TO WIPE THEIR ASSES!!!!!!! FUCKING QUEER NERRRRDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[Evil E]

Im an environmentalist, so i utilize the dunk butt smear on wall technique

[snowfire]

I just dunk my ass and swish it around a little.

[Mrthemike]

Try a half stand half squat. No touching water or toilet seat AND you get maximum cleanage.

[Camel Toad]

Try a half stand half squat. No touching water or toilet seat AND you get maximum cleanage.

wouldn't this just generate extra splash when you dropped the kids off??


or is this only in reference to the wipe??

[DrRy]

Try a half stand half squat. No touching water or toilet seat AND you get maximum cleanage.

This sounds like the hover technique I use when I have to duece in some random nasty toilet.

[RootSkier]

standing though increases the odds of a little piece of shit "jumping ship" before getting wiped up and ending up stuck to your clothes.

Umm...maybe it's just me, but I tend to pay attention to what leaves my ass, and I usually know if there is a clingon in the house. Such instances do, however, require some serious planning.

[Mrthemike]

wouldn't this just generate extra splash when you dropped the kids off??


or is this only in reference to the wipe??

Oh, just the wipe unless the toilet is extra nasty.

[hop]

Sit to shit, and sit to wipe. There's no danger of dragging your hand or your tp into the mess unless you've created a major poocano, and even then it's never going to happen unless you're a total idiot.

Bunching is what you do when you're facing a roll of cheap 1-ply.

The only time I cop a squat is when I'm crapping with my ski boots on (unless they're in walk mode). Proper ankle flex for skiing is not the same for #2.

[Steven S. Dallas]

That many people stand!? This is mind-blowing. I had no idea that people did such a thing. I'm actually going through a mental list of people I know and trying to guess what their technique is now... So thanks for that.

[Tippster]

I thought only women hover. I see I was right.

[Squatch]

i too chose the stand option, although it really is more of a half-squat. this allows me ample view of the death and destruction i just rained down upon white porcelain. if you lean forward a bit while keeping the back straight you get maximum cheek spacing for an easy clean.

[DJSapp]

It's all about the lean. Just shift your weight to a side, lift the opposite leg, and you get all the benefit of extra seat and water clearance for your hand and tp, extra cheek seperation for maximum cleaning, and the ability to continue reading powder, playboy, or lesbian whelk weekly.

**Technique not recomended if the toilet seat is loose. Unexpected sliding may result in concussions.

[DrRy]

I attempted the stand and wipe just for shits and giggles and it failed.

I didn't shake off from my piss. I guess its an unconscious step in my normal piss, shit, wipe method while SITTING.

So when I stood to wipe, a nice stream of piss went all over the floor.

Damn standers.

[A-wreck]

DrRy has piss on his pants right now.

I never thought this thread would be one where you could find such vital, important information on whats happening right now.

Keep the updates coming.

[focus]

my mind is also blown.

While sitting I can poop, wipe, and surf TGR w/ my laptop. While this is all theoretically possible while standing, I just can't imagine why one would attempt it...

[Mrthemike]

It's all about the lean. Just shift your weight to a side, lift the opposite leg, and you get all the benefit of extra seat and water clearance for your hand and tp, extra cheek seperation for maximum cleaning, and the ability to continue reading powder, playboy, or lesbian whelk weekly.

**Technique not recomended if the toilet seat is loose. Unexpected sliding may result in concussions.

I use this one also.

[Grange]

Start with a wipe or two sitting finish with a wipe or two standing. Switch hands for a challenge.

[Camel Toad]

Start with a wipe or two sitting finish with a wipe or two standing. Switch hands for a challenge.

the stranger.

[BOOMTOWN58]

I personally do the "one cheek sneek" - lean left and forward and go back to front. This requires a courtesy wipe of the ball sack. If all else fails just buy brown bath towells and do the lumberjack.