Wiping ass

[A-wreck]

..........

[Obstruction]

A man of action in our midst!

[DrRy]

I don't see how someone could get a good solid wipe while standing. I would worry about smearing shit all over myself. When your sitting your cheeks are spread so you can get right to it.

I'm going to try the standing wipe next time.

[beaterdit]

stand=better access w/o having to stick yer hand in the john.

The REAL question is: BUNCH OR FOLD?

[Camel Toad]

The REAL question is: BUNCH OR FOLD?

easy, bunch if there is no short supply. fold if the paper is running low. it's amazing how little paper you really need (climbing expeditions to foreign countries are good places to find this out)

[bagtagley]

stand=better access w/o having to stick yer hand in the john.

So, sticking your hand all the way into your ass crack is better? My hand my go below the rim, but it's not like I'm reaching in and stirring. I'm with DrRy, a proper wipe cannot be performed with the cheeks together (standing).

[cj001f]

(climbing expeditions to foreign countries are good places to find this out)

My left hand and a jug of water don't cut it, and bidets are...... interesting.

[Cornholio]

Unbelievable. You guys really stand? What a waste of effort.

[A-wreck]

stand=better access w/o having to stick yer hand in the john.

The REAL question is: BUNCH OR FOLD?

I just took a poop and tried to wipe sitting down.
As soon as I felt my hand touch the back of the toilet seat I recoiled in disgust of putting my hand where many an ass has been.

To answer the REAL question: Neither, I go for more of a wrap around the hand. Apparently this is called making "boxing gloves"




Good friend cpd deserves credit for boxing gloves term

[wicked_sick]

I'd say "boxing gloves" sounds a lot better than "Enter the Fist"

[Tippster]

I chose the 3rd one. My son seems to enjoy it....

[DrRy]

I just took a poop and tried to wipe sitting down.
As soon as I felt my hand touch the back of the toilet seat I recoiled in disgust of putting my hand where many an ass has been.

Lean forward a bit, and remeber practice makes perfect. Seriously, once you get used to sitting, you'll be a happier person.

[Tectonically_Neglected]

I don't get the sitting... I mean, don't you guys tear off like 6 pieces of tp then wipe and fold? And if so... doesn't the long trail of toilet paper drag through the water/ shit mixture in the loo?

Sounds disgusting, there you are wiping away and all of a sudden your ass crack is wet... you check the tp, it's been in the bowl and there's crap on it... You've just added more shite to your pooper instead off wiping it off. YEACH.

[Woodsy]

I clicked stand but I sit.
I prefer the 3rd but have yet to find the right partner

[DrRy]

Both sides of this discussion are fond about their own method yet confused and disgusted by the other. Why is it that a conversation about shitting brings out such honesty and humor? I don't know if this is wierd, I guess it's just a good conversation topic.

This coming from the guy who has three posts on this thread already.

[PaSucks]

Standing is the way to go. It eliminates the risk of touching the inside of the bowl with your hand and if you know how to do it you still get just as clean. You just have to spread them a little yourselves.

[iggyskier]

I never even consider sitting. Ever....until someone brought it up maybe in the past year? Not sure...but I only learned people do it sitting very recently. It was a life changing moment.

Don't get it, either. Standing does a much better job.

[lemon boy]

standing though increases the odds of a little piece of shit "jumping ship" before getting wiped up and ending up stuck to your clothes.

[Cornholio]

Standing does a much better job.

That's unpossible.

I have never once, in my 28 years of ass-wiping, stood. Nor have I ever touched the rim, seat, water, or any poo. The tp never drags. The water never touches your ass.

You stander-uppers are just wasting your time. You just don't know it.

edit: I never knew people stood up until 10:40am today. Seriously. Why would you bother?
edit2: I bet chicks exclusively sit.

[A-wreck]

standing though increases the odds of a little piece of shit "jumping ship" before getting wiped up and ending up stuck to your clothes.

Not really, for me anyways.
I don't stand all the way up perfectly straight.
I'm hunched over in a much more un-attractive position.
Really more of a tall squat over the toilet.

[Camel Toad]

I'm hunched over in a much more un-attractive position.
Really more of a tall squat over the toilet.

gotta keep the legs in shape for turns!...






edited to add: that's my first use of the fm. hope it was done properly.

[lemon boy]

Not really, for me anyways.
I don't stand all they way up perfectly straight.
I'm hunched over in a much more un-attractive position.
Really more of a tall squat over the toilet.

so you keep your body in a position designed to simulate sitting but stand up?

sounds pretty stupid to me....

[Odin]

this disturbs me, how possibly do you stand, wipe, AND READ POWDER?

I can sit, wipe and still read powder all at the same time. Standing is what the terrorists do.

[fridge]

I don't stand all they way up perfectly straight.
I'm hunched over in a much more un-attractive position.
Really more of a tall squat over the toilet.

Exactly, for some reason the wipe doesn't feel as good when I do it sitting down.

I also like to admire what I've done before I ruin it by throwing TP over top of it, which you can't do if you're a sitter. I guess I'm letting the terrorists win.

[Obstruction]

I find it offensive that you sitters are using a fine magazine like powder in such a fashion. Especially given the high gloss of the paper they use. Clearly the sitters are in violation of the USA Patriot Act.