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View Poll Results: wiping ass

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  • stand

    54 37.76%
  • sit

    75 52.45%
  • on your back with help from a second party.

    14 9.79%
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Thread: Wiping ass

  1. #76
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    nanny-state
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    898
    Quote Originally Posted by A-wreck View Post
    That said, I have moved on to baby wipes.
    A couple swipes with tp, a baby wipe or 2, then a final wipe, it really makes life quite enjoyable.
    You really aren't supposed to flush the things though are you?

    I want a washlet.
    If you're a relatively moral, ethical person, there's no inherent drive to kiss ass and beg for forgiveness and promise to never do it again, which is what mostly goes on in church. -YetiMan

  2. #77
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    New in town
    Posts
    731
    This is a great thread. I must admit I have only read 3/4 of page 1. I can only laugh so much or I'll hurt myself. Gonna make this thread last.

    Yo, Obstruction!
    "Only a fool looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."
    "I don't want any damn Fop! I'm a Dapper Dan man!"
    "I am gonna R-U-N-N-O-F-T"
    Hillshire Farm is sexy

    Grab both cheeks and sink your teeth into the ass of life.

  3. #78
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,522
    I drag my ass across the floor like a dog. Big hit at restaurants, malls, and cocktail parties.
    "If it had taken any effort I wouldn't have done it at all. I mean it. I wouldn't have done anything" - B. Kelso

  4. #79
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Fauntleroy
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-wreck View Post
    I can't believe this thread came back.
    You're welcome! Seems to be moving along quite nicely as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by mtsprings View Post
    I was a stander but switched to sitting.

    The first day at a summer camp, 8th grade, the bathroom had a line of 5 stools with no barriers. It was a full house, I stood to complete the paper work and was humiliated when there were several comments about me being a stander. I never stood again at camp and have just continued.

    I was really scarred……………. but not nearly as bad as the young catholic boys.
    Ummm...whoa - I can't believe I started my day with that story. Thanks

    Quote Originally Posted by Garrett View Post
    I want a washlet.
    ^^^ That thing seems pretty cool. I've never had the gumption to shower my bootie in a bidet before, but the washlet would make me think twice. A warm air dryer!? Damn. Serious poopin' luxury there.

  5. #80
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    640
    Holy shit. I totally forgot about this thread.


    It still amazes me that people stand.

  6. #81
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    Sector 7G
    Posts
    5,660
    If I don't stand, how can I observe my handi work without paper on top of it?
    This is the worst pain EVER!

  7. #82
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    640
    Good point.

  8. #83
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Middle of Norway.
    Posts
    2,956
    I find squatting, and doing a right hand around my ass the most effective way of wiping ass. It greatly reduces the risk of urinal tract infection, too, as the soiled paper(containing e.coli bacteria) will never ever come close to my penis.

    I have a technique for keeping the pecker above thigh level when squatting, and I manage to read Playboard, Fri Flyt and Pondus at the same time as wiping. I utilize a one-hander folding technique for this to remain possible.

  9. #84
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    4,394
    Standing evolved more out of evolution than anything. It's alot easier to wipe your ass when your standing/squatting since your cock is not freezing in the cold water below. Obviously the sitters would not need the standing adaption.

  10. #85
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The Internet
    Posts
    198
    Only 2,460 views and 84 posts from a thread titled "wiping ass"?
    I think we can do better than that!
    “I will give you a million Stanly nickels if I never have to talk to you again.”

  11. #86
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    nh
    Posts
    8,221
    I tried sitting just now and there is just not enough room for the paper work. The stand/squat is the only way to keep everything clean.
    People should learn endurance; they should learn to endure the discomforts of heat and cold, hunger and thirst; they should learn to be patient when receiving abuse and scorn; for it is the practice of endurance that quenches the fire of worldly passions which is burning up their bodies.
    --Buddha

    *))
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    www.skiclinics.com

  12. #87
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    the Can-Utardia / LMCC VT
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    11,491
    Quote Originally Posted by Tuckerman View Post
    I tried sitting just now and there is just not enough room for the paper work. The stand/squat is the only way to keep everything clean.
    what? ...rookie.

    U have 2 lean a cheek. haven't u been taking notes?

    sometimes my last wipe is on the way up 2 a stand. usually cuz I realize I have read half of a Newsweek and been sitting 4 a half hour

  13. #88
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    bozone montuckey
    Posts
    4,337
    I am REALLY looking forward to getting my cast off so i can go back to some proper right handed ass wiping. the last 6 weeks have sucked!! It's amazing how difficult it is to do a proper job with my left hand.

    and i only get a week of freedom until i have shoulder surgery and have to back to left handed wiping again.
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."
    Ben Franklin

  14. #89
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    driven way past the Stop and Shop
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    3,073
    Quote Originally Posted by Gordyman View Post
    This is a great thread. I must admit I have only read 3/4 of page 1. I can only laugh so much or I'll hurt myself. Gonna make this thread last.

    Yo, Obstruction!
    "Only a fool looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."
    "I don't want any damn Fop! I'm a Dapper Dan man!"
    "I am gonna R-U-N-N-O-F-T"
    And for the squat to wipe types ...

    "How can I lay a hold of them Soggy Bottom Boys?
    Damn, we're in a tight spot!

  15. #90
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    A beer fortress in the kingdom of cheese...
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    3,742
    Quote Originally Posted by fez View Post
    I am REALLY looking forward to getting my cast off so i can go back to some proper right handed ass wiping. the last 6 weeks have sucked!! It's amazing how difficult it is to do a proper job with my left hand.

    and i only get a week of freedom until i have shoulder surgery and have to back to left handed wiping again.
    Not to mention, your wanking must be second rate too?
    Last edited by timvwcom; 03-27-2008 at 02:11 PM. Reason: spealn'
    If some of the best times of my life were skiing the UP in -40 wind chill with nothing but jeans, cotton long johns and a wine flask to keep warm while sleeping in the back of my dad's van... does that make me old school?

    "REHAB SAVAGE, REHAB!!!"

  16. #91
    WWCD's Avatar
    WWCD is online now Non Threating Male Friend
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    I'm a sitter and go between the legs from the front.

  17. #92
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Undisclosed
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    2,301
    stand,lean forward a bit, spread left cheek with left hand and charmain away!
    A woman reported to police at 6:30 p.m. that she was being "smart-mouthed."

  18. #93
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    28,546
    Wow, I must have missed this one the first time around...

    Count me in with the camp that had no idea people stand to wipe their asses before reading this thread. Standing really makes no sense to me.

  19. #94
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Detroit
    Posts
    2,131
    Quote Originally Posted by Garrett View Post
    You really aren't supposed to flush the things though are you?

    I]
    I think it's o.k. to flush baby wipes.

    My ancient toilet is about 32 gallons per flush so, everything goes down very smooth. I've been quite suprised at the mountains of tp that have made it down. I'm not sure why I wasted money on a plunger. You could flush small people down my toilet.
    Buy nice things here.
    www.motorcityglassworks.com

  20. #95
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Bravo Delta.
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    6,127
    Quote Originally Posted by foxy View Post
    stand=better access w/o having to stick yer hand in the john.

    The REAL question is: BUNCH OR FOLD?
    base ball mitt.
    Quote Originally Posted by Socialist View Post
    They have socalized healthcare up in canada. The whole country is 100% full of pot smoking pro-athlete alcoholics.

  21. #96
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    bozone montuckey
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    Quote Originally Posted by timvwcom View Post
    Not to mention, your wanking must be second rate too?
    ha, first thing my boss said to me when i told him about my broken wrist and surgery 'It's not your girlfriend hand, is it?'

    fortunately im ambidextrous in that area
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."
    Ben Franklin

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