The Gaper Spirit Animal

[stoepstyle]

This guy's brother, or follower, or something, was at Mt. Rose yesterday. No pics unfortunately: guy in bright red one-piece, snowboarder, wearing an airbag pack... inbounds (Mt. Rose has no sidecountry or backcountry access)... on a 40-45* F day where absolutely nothing is going to slide.

Never seen someone wearing an airbag pack inbounds before, much less on a spring corn day.

I agree silly since Mt Rose has no bc/sc access, but I was thinking a very similar thing when I saw Elyse standing in the lift line with an airbag pack the day she got caught in that Stevens Pass slide.

[AlpineZone]

Hi maggots! I would proffer a friendly note of caution, as this thread and the behavior it is spawning and encouraging appears to be edging close to being in violation of "stalking" laws. I would advocate that you peruse your local laws listed in the following links before doing anything else, as you and/or TGR may have liability/legal issues by pursuing this quest:
http://www.crcvc.ca/docs/crimharass.pdf
http://www.esia.net/State_Stalking_Laws.htm
I also would like to take this opportunity to formally invite all TGR Maggots ,TTip-ers, NewSchoolers, Epicureans, jongs and lurkers alike to come join our fun-loving but responsible bunch of snowriding aficionados at http://forums.alpinezone.com/. I think most all of you will find that our seasoned moderators "keep the bar high" by maintaining a sense of order and decorum, while encouraging quality discussion about our favorite pastime. I can assure you that "newbies"'(jongs) are welcomed with open arms by our entire community(unlike here at TGR), and there is no "hazing period" or rudeness tolerated. It may take a small amount of getting used to, as we do have reasonable standards as far as language and image posting that are strictly enforced. The registration is easy and painless, and the rules will be explained in detail during the process. I will warn you however up front that registering an ALIAS is strictly "VERBOTEN", and something we have zero-tolerance with. If you are tired of the juvenile goings-on at TGR and Newschoolers and yearn for a snowriding forum that matches your maturity level, all I can say is: "Come join the fun"!

[Clownshoe]

An excerpt from the book of Clownshoe.

All praise and glory be to the GSA.

This all started yesterday as I rode the Red Chair. After brother Powder11's blessed and miraculous sighting of the GSA on Blackcomb the day before, I was actually scanning for the GSA, hoping against hope, that I may to be so blessed.

Suddenly, like a vision, I spotted some bright orange pants traversing under the Roundhouse towards Paleface. My breath caught in my throat, tears lept to my eyes. Could it be? Although He was several hundred feet away, I though I could see the leg loops of His harness. As the chair continued higher, He was blocked from sight by some trees.

I unloaded the Red Chair, casting the bamboo and rope I was carrying aside, and skated hard towards the Roundhouse. My radio called out for a responder to an injured guest on Whiskey Jack, but I payed it no heed. I knew He was testing me. I went to the point I had last seen Him, and continued quickly down towards Pony Trail when, behold! The GSA, right in front of me, standing proudly in His natural alpine environment.

I was so flabbergasted that a goofy grin appeared on my face as I stood nearby, pretending to straighten a piece of bamboo. I contemplated a friendly hello, but thought better of it, for fear that His Voice might be more than my mortal ears could contain. With shaking hands I pulled out my Contour, and as the GSA departed down the cat track, I followed, knees quaking.

So my secret GSA Contour footage is so shaky that it's hard to watch, but I did manage to screen cap a few bits for everyones enjoyment. My TGR skills do not extend to embedding photos, my apologies.

The GSA's gym training is clearly paying dividends, and He was very competent on the cat track. He was able to pass several other skiers as if they were standing still.

Oh wait, they were standing still.

I'm not a qualified ski instructor, but I believe I did detect a slight bit of counter rotation. I believe this is His way of showing He understands the frailties of our mortal coil.

As you can see in the second and third pic, the GSA is known far and wide, and acolytes drop to there knees in worship as He approaches. This worshipper even dared to not avert his eyes. That he was not turned to a pillar of salt or struck down by a bolt from the heavens speaks to the benevolence of the GSA.

The fourth pic displays that, as always, the GSA is ready to clip bolts at a moments notice. Not a suprise, because as any true mountain man knows, what good is your harness without quickdraws woven through your pack? Sadly there are no exposed alpine routes requiring protection between the Roundhouse and the Franz's chair, so I was not blessed with a display of His certainly mythical rope skills.

I hope this day provides other believers with an opportunity to witness Him so that we may continue to shout His name from the heights of the TGR forums.

These are words from the book of Clownshoe.

Praise be to the GSA.

[AK47bp]

Hi maggots! I would proffer a friendly note of caution, as this thread and the behavior it is spawning and encouraging appears to be edging close to being in violation of "stalking" laws. I would advocate that you peruse your local laws listed in the following links before doing anything else, as you and/or TGR may have liability/legal issues by pursuing this quest:
http://www.crcvc.ca/docs/crimharass.pdf
http://www.esia.net/State_Stalking_Laws.htm
I also would like to take this opportunity to formally invite all TGR Maggots ,TTip-ers, NewSchoolers, Epicureans, jongs and lurkers alike to come join our fun-loving but responsible bunch of snowriding aficionados at http://forums.alpinezone.com/. I think most all of you will find that our seasoned moderators "keep the bar high" by maintaining a sense of order and decorum, while encouraging quality discussion about our favorite pastime. I can assure you that "newbies"'(jongs) are welcomed with open arms by our entire community(unlike here at TGR), and there is no "hazing period" or rudeness tolerated. It may take a small amount of getting used to, as we do have reasonable standards as far as language and image posting that are strictly enforced. The registration is easy and painless, and the rules will be explained in detail during the process. I will warn you however up front that registering an ALIAS is strictly "VERBOTEN", and something we have zero-tolerance with. If you are tired of the juvenile goings-on at TGR and Newschoolers and yearn for a snowriding forum that matches your maturity level, all I can say is: "Come join the fun"!

So worst forum imaginable, all you gotta say, worst forum imaginable.

[Clownshoe]

Hi maggots! I would proffer a friendly note of caution, as this thread and the behavior it is spawning and encouraging appears to be edging close to being in violation of "stalking" laws. I would advocate that you peruse your local laws listed in the following links before doing anything else, as you and/or TGR may have liability/legal issues by pursuing this quest:
http://www.crcvc.ca/docs/crimharass.pdf
http://www.esia.net/State_Stalking_Laws.htm
I also would like to take this opportunity to formally invite all TGR Maggots ,TTip-ers, NewSchoolers, Epicureans, jongs and lurkers alike to come join our fun-loving but responsible bunch of snowriding aficionados at http://forums.alpinezone.com/. I think most all of you will find that our seasoned moderators "keep the bar high" by maintaining a sense of order and decorum, while encouraging quality discussion about our favorite pastime. I can assure you that "newbies"'(jongs) are welcomed with open arms by our entire community(unlike here at TGR), and there is no "hazing period" or rudeness tolerated. It may take a small amount of getting used to, as we do have reasonable standards as far as language and image posting that are strictly enforced. The registration is easy and painless, and the rules will be explained in detail during the process. I will warn you however up front that registering an ALIAS is strictly "VERBOTEN", and something we have zero-tolerance with. If you are tired of the juvenile goings-on at TGR and Newschoolers and yearn for a snowriding forum that matches your maturity level, all I can say is: "Come join the fun"!

BLASPHEMER!

[Tunco]

So worst forum imaginable, all you gotta say, worst forum imaginable.

[Housed]

Hi maggots! I would proffer a friendly note of caution, as this thread and the behavior it is spawning and encouraging appears to be edging close to being in violation of "stalking" laws. I would advocate that you peruse your local laws listed in the following links before doing anything else, as you and/or TGR may have liability/legal issues by pursuing this quest:
http://www.crcvc.ca/docs/crimharass.pdf
http://www.esia.net/State_Stalking_Laws.htm
I also would like to take this opportunity to formally invite all TGR Maggots ,TTip-ers, NewSchoolers, Epicureans, jongs and lurkers alike to come join our fun-loving but responsible bunch of snowriding aficionados at http://forums.alpinezone.com/. I think most all of you will find that our seasoned moderators "keep the bar high" by maintaining a sense of order and decorum, while encouraging quality discussion about our favorite pastime. I can assure you that "newbies"'(jongs) are welcomed with open arms by our entire community(unlike here at TGR), and there is no "hazing period" or rudeness tolerated. It may take a small amount of getting used to, as we do have reasonable standards as far as language and image posting that are strictly enforced. The registration is easy and painless, and the rules will be explained in detail during the process. I will warn you however up front that registering an ALIAS is strictly "VERBOTEN", and something we have zero-tolerance with. If you are tired of the juvenile goings-on at TGR and Newschoolers and yearn for a snowriding forum that matches your maturity level, all I can say is: "Come join the fun"!

close cockholster plz

[LaGrench]

An excerpt from the book of Clownshoe.

All praise and glory be to the GSA.

This all started yesterday as I rode the Red Chair. After brother Powder11's blessed and miraculous sighting of the GSA on Blackcomb the day before, I was actually scanning for the GSA, hoping against hope, that I may to be so blessed.

Suddenly, like a vision, I spotted some bright orange pants traversing under the Roundhouse towards Paleface. My breath caught in my throat, tears lept to my eyes. Could it be? Although He was several hundred feet away, I though I could see the leg loops of His harness. As the chair continued higher, He was blocked from sight by some trees.

I unloaded the Red Chair, casting the bamboo and rope I was carrying aside, and skated hard towards the Roundhouse. My radio called out for a responder to an injured guest on Whiskey Jack, but I payed it no heed. I knew He was testing me. I went to the point I had last seen Him, and continued quickly down towards Pony Trail when, behold! The GSA, right in front of me, standing proudly in His natural alpine environment.

I was so flabbergasted that a goofy grin appeared on my face as I stood nearby, pretending to straighten a piece of bamboo. I contemplated a friendly hello, but thought better of it, for fear that His Voice might be more than my mortal ears could contain. With shaking hands I pulled out my Contour, and as the GSA departed down the cat track, I followed, knees quaking.

So my secret GSA Contour footage is so shaky that it's hard to watch, but I did manage to screen cap a few bits for everyones enjoyment. My TGR skills do not extend to embedding photos, my apologies.

The GSA's gym training is clearly paying dividends, and He was very competent on the cat track. He was able to pass several other skiers as if they were standing still.

Oh wait, they were standing still.

I'm not a qualified ski instructor, but I believe I did detect a slight bit of counter rotation. I believe this is His way of showing He understands the frailties of our mortal coil.

As you can see in the second and third pic, the GSA is known far and wide, and acolytes drop to there knees in worship as He approaches. This worshipper even dared to not avert his eyes. That he was not turned to a pillar of salt or struck down by a bolt from the heavens speaks to the benevolence of the GSA.

The fourth pic displays that, as always, the GSA is ready to clip bolts at a moments notice. Not a suprise, because as any true mountain man knows, what good is your harness without quickdraws woven through your pack? Sadly there are no exposed alpine routes requiring protection between the Roundhouse and the Franz's chair, so I was not blessed with a display of His certainly mythical rope skills.

I hope this day provides other believers with an opportunity to witness Him so that we may continue to shout His name from the heights of the TGR forums.

These are words from the book of Clownshoe.

Praise be to the GSA.

A GSA sighting on my home mountain! I am honoured to have caught even a glimpse of the legendary creature. Praise be the GSA! Thank you Clownshoe for capturing this magnificent footage.

A sidenote, has the GSA shed his twin pro-gos? How will he captured amazing footage??

[splat]

You can't stalk an apparition.

Are the believers who travel to Lourdes, Fatima, Guadelupe, that house in East LA, a piece of toast or that dog's butt to see their Holiness categorized as stalkers? I dare say not!

Freedom of religion, beyotch!

It's all so utterly amazing that his essence can be captured on a camera on snow on mountains everywhere.

Is he appearing at multiple locations at the same time?
Who woulda thought salvation would come via skiing?

Praise be the GSA!

[johngenx]

The snowboarder dropped to his knees in worship. A snowboarder! The power...

[ICEHOCEY77]

fantastic.

[stuckathuntermtn]

If you get an Avalung and bury yourself in the snow for 3 days will you begin to have a spirit quest in which you heli-ski with the GSA? Will you fly magically from Wall St. to AK on a spirit zipline from which you are suspended by you harness and biners?
Will binding and boot gnomes follow you where ever you go ensuring proper function of equipment?
Will you magically repel from the sky onto all your favorite lines?
Will it all be in 1080p?
Believe, ye unfaithful!
Repent, and ye shall be saved!

[Ted Striker]

A sidenote, has the GSA shed his twin pro-gos? How will he captured amazing footage??

He's opted for a more permanent solution.

[splat]

The camera might have been wobbly on Clownshoe's vid, but the sound was just fine.

[Clownshoe]

A sidenote, has the GSA shed his twin pro-gos? How will he captured amazing footage??

The GSA can take many forms. If we examine Brother NeuroDoc's photo from later that same day (a couple pages back), we see that GSA's double cam set up had returned.

[stuckathuntermtn]

I'm pretty sure you can take pictures of people in public places as there is no implied right of privacy.
Greg is a blasphemer! stone the nonbeliever!

[johngenx]

I enjoy the lack of moderation around here, but the member I most wish we'd ban is that AlpineZone fucktard.

[Son-of-Pbville]

^^^^^ yeah Greg, STFU. In many of your 'citations' there has to be reason to believe the stalker will cause physical or emotional harm. WE just want to enjoy His presence. Its not like simpleton maggot mortals could possibly harm His magnificence.

The Book of Clownshoe has been heard, PRAISE!!!

[toast2266]

I enjoy the lack of moderation around here, but the member I most wish we'd ban is that AlpineZone fucktard.

GSA would not be pleased with that statement. Go say 10 hail GSA's.

[stuckathuntermtn]

I enjoy the lack of moderation around here, but the member I most wish we'd ban is that AlpineZone fucktard.

But he hasn't done anything on the wonderfully short list of bannable offences. It's like comic relief, really.

[johngenx]

But he hasn't done anything on the wonderfully short list of bannable offences. It's like comic relief, really.

The first 8000 times, but not anymore.

[Ski to Be]

written in 1779 by Thomas Jefferson, proclaimed:
"[N]o man shall be compelled to frequent or support any religious worship, place, or ministry whatsoever, nor shall be enforced, restrained, molested, or burthened in his body or goods, nor shall otherwise suffer, on account of his religious opinions or belief; but that all men shall be free to profess, and by argument to maintain, their opinions in matters of religion, and that the same shall in no wise diminish, enlarge, or affect their civil capacities."
Those sentiments also found expression in the First Amendment of the national constitution, part of the United States' Bill of Rights:
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."

[gramboh]

An excerpt from the book of Clownshoe.

All praise and glory be to the GSA.

This all started yesterday as I rode the Red Chair. After brother Powder11's blessed and miraculous sighting of the GSA on Blackcomb the day before, I was actually scanning for the GSA, hoping against hope, that I may to be so blessed.

Suddenly, like a vision, I spotted some bright orange pants traversing under the Roundhouse towards Paleface. My breath caught in my throat, tears lept to my eyes. Could it be? Although He was several hundred feet away, I though I could see the leg loops of His harness. As the chair continued higher, He was blocked from sight by some trees.

I unloaded the Red Chair, casting the bamboo and rope I was carrying aside, and skated hard towards the Roundhouse. My radio called out for a responder to an injured guest on Whiskey Jack, but I payed it no heed. I knew He was testing me. I went to the point I had last seen Him, and continued quickly down towards Pony Trail when, behold! The GSA, right in front of me, standing proudly in His natural alpine environment.

I was so flabbergasted that a goofy grin appeared on my face as I stood nearby, pretending to straighten a piece of bamboo. I contemplated a friendly hello, but thought better of it, for fear that His Voice might be more than my mortal ears could contain. With shaking hands I pulled out my Contour, and as the GSA departed down the cat track, I followed, knees quaking.

So my secret GSA Contour footage is so shaky that it's hard to watch, but I did manage to screen cap a few bits for everyones enjoyment. My TGR skills do not extend to embedding photos, my apologies.

The GSA's gym training is clearly paying dividends, and He was very competent on the cat track. He was able to pass several other skiers as if they were standing still.

Oh wait, they were standing still.

I'm not a qualified ski instructor, but I believe I did detect a slight bit of counter rotation. I believe this is His way of showing He understands the frailties of our mortal coil.

As you can see in the second and third pic, the GSA is known far and wide, and acolytes drop to there knees in worship as He approaches. This worshipper even dared to not avert his eyes. That he was not turned to a pillar of salt or struck down by a bolt from the heavens speaks to the benevolence of the GSA.

The fourth pic displays that, as always, the GSA is ready to clip bolts at a moments notice. Not a suprise, because as any true mountain man knows, what good is your harness without quickdraws woven through your pack? Sadly there are no exposed alpine routes requiring protection between the Roundhouse and the Franz's chair, so I was not blessed with a display of His certainly mythical rope skills.

I hope this day provides other believers with an opportunity to witness Him so that we may continue to shout His name from the heights of the TGR forums.

These are words from the book of Clownshoe.

Praise be to the GSA.

Brilliant writing right here folks.

I'm heading back up in a few hours for Mon/Tues, wonder if I can catch him at Merlins, but I guess he will probably be on a flight back east to be at his desk for opening bell tomorrow.

[shirk]

We sighted him today on Blackcomb. He was wearing the climbing harness but not wearing the twin GoPro's. He was skiing under the Excelerator chair, he would certainly need the harness in case he fell into the gapping Excelerator crevasse.

Unfortunately I was too slow fumbling with zipper to get a shot of the GSA.

[Clownshoe]

Praise to Brother Shirk. Another believer for the cause!