work bathrooms = SLAY3D

[single]

old lady (70ish) walked into the bathroom just seconds before me. I walk in the bathroom,

That is pretty disgusting man...

I hope not.


That is a gnarly story. gross.

[Bigdump]

Great stories about the dreaded VooDoo Pickle

Let's pump up the volume. What are some the best nomenclature for taking a big Shit?

I'll Start:
Bust a Grumpy!

[Helldawg]

^^Droppin Fat Albert off at the pool...

[ass-to-mouth]

snap a grogan.

[Captain Anal]

Freeing the slaves.

Making some biscuits.

[DarkStar]

Stocking the pond with brown trout

or for wilderness and other such outdoor shitting adventures....growing a tail

[SimB]

Todays slayin', I was the victim

See I work at a gas station and I was just about to clean up the crapper a bit when they called for me in the register. While I was in the register dealing with customers some fucker sneaks in to the crapper so when I get back to finish up I can't. So I'm thinkin' "Ah well, I'll let him have a piss and finish when he gets out" only he doesn't get out of there until like 8 minutes later...

So now I don't wanna go in there to clean, I stuck my head in and that smell almost knocked me off my feet! I sprayed like 100 times with some lemon shit spray that only made it worse 'couse, believe it or not, lemons and crap doesn't go well together I was about to tell an intern that we had with us this week that he should do it for experience but then sucked it up and cleaned the fucker, eyes watering!

I should have run after the fucker who slayed it and made him clean it!

Rant out!

[Caucasian Asian]

See I work at a gas station and I was just about to clean up the crapper...

I was about to tell an intern that we had with us this week that he should do it for experience but then sucked it up and cleaned the fucker, eyes watering!

Who applies to be an intern at a gas station?

[SimB]

Don't even ask :S The kid was like 14 and was with us for a week... I don't think he got anything else.

[Snow Ranger]

Great stories about the dreaded VooDoo Pickle

Let's pump up the volume. What are some the best nomenclature for taking a big Shit?

I'll Start:
Bust a Grumpy!

Taking a big watery explosive shit with potential for high marking = I just soup canned that toilet bowl.

[flyandski365]

Well I just took a bow as the conductor of a seriously epic symphony of liquid shit. Not sure what it was that I ate last night, but my gut sure found it inspiring.

[Bigdump]

BRAVO!!!

[stuckathuntermtn]

What else are interns for, if not the jobs no one wants to do?

[SimB]

Should have had him do it, fucker high marked the seat to... Un cool!

[Art Shirk]

Taking the Browns to the Superbowl.

[The SnowShow]

Not a bathroom slayed story, but I was in the stall at work doing my business and one of the bosses came in and was talking to his dick during his urinal leak...I was flabbergasted, but he was saying, come on, come on...eeek!!

[flyandski365]

Apparently the human body is able to convert beer, rum and coke and tequila into Jet A. A dude from the next suite over walked in just as I was leaving and immediately turned tail. He was waiting for the elevator with an anxious expression as I opened the door to my office.

Great success!

[iceclimb]

I just thought I'd share my new hobby at work. I teach at a high school, and I at least once every other week I head to the kids bathroom instead of the teachers bathroom. My goal, which I've reached a few times this year, is to use their bathroom just before the morning bell rings and leave it in such a state that when they walk in for their morning ritual they turn tail and run.

So far my best was after a weekend ice climbing in Ouray, eating like crap and drinking tons of homebrew.... I had two kids walk in there and say "Holy shit" and turn and head out.

It's petty, but it's fun.

[Cleveland Steamer]

Years ago I had to go to a meeting in Chicago at the last minute and the only way I could get there was by Amtrak 4 hour ride.
Everything was going OK on the train then some black guy/pimp dressed in a white suit went in the shitter, He was in there for a few min. and then he started yelling and raising hell, I thought he had one caught sideways.
He walked out and he was covered in that blue shit they put in the toilets he was demanding compensation to the conductor and he told him the sign says "close lid before flushing"
It was funny as hell I recently rode Amtrak and noticed they dont have the blue water any longer.

[assman]

That is pretty disgusting man...

In my travels, I've noticed that old people are more tolerant to farts and doodies though. Like this one time, me and my brother were having a conversation with our grandma and here fella, who's about 80. Suddenly he just let's one rip! And this isn't some weak ass under the covers fart, this one would blow the leaves off a tree. I look at my brother and I can tell he's barely holdin it together, but we manage to keep our faces straight and go on talkin. Only to hear my own grandma shoot a salute, as if to say "oh it's on mister!". How tha hell is this possible? Two old farts (had to) hanging around chatting while having a world chamionship in who can freak out the young people the most

I gotta say, that kinda bumped me out a bit...

well, here is mine as related to me by my nephew... My grandfather (92) was recently hospitalized.My sister ( a total full on at all times bitch) was visiting him when he said " I really have to crap" My sister helps him out of bed and to the bathroom. He is wearing one of those ass-less hospital gowns.

She is supporting him by putting her arms under him and walking behind him when he says "uh-oh, here it comes" He proceeds to shoot projectile shit all over her.

My nephew was doubled over laughing as he told the story. My grandfather's shits are legendary. The man can seriously clear an entire floor of a house by shitting and leaving the bathroom door open. As God is my witness, I have gotten the dry heaves from two rooms away.

Now the best part... my sister had to strip, the hospital staff put her clothes in a sealed plastic bag and she had to walk to her car and drive home wearing one of those ass-less hospital gowns and a paper robe.

Fuckin A-1 perfect

Hey grandpop...

[jgb@etree]

Roasted garlic. If you need to slay and leave a "presence", it is highly recommended.

After a half of a bulb for appys a day before, I absolutely killed my bathroom here. My wife stops in a good 15 minutes later, for some chit chat but mostly to use the loo. I warned her.

She laughed and said something like " i been smelling your ass for 15 years. You don't scare me."

Bwaaaahhahhhha. Ten seconds later she comes from the back, eyes wide, tears starting to form, "what the fuck did you do back there?"

I tried to tell her.

That is all.

Roasted garlic really is amazing. My wife occasionally makes a roasted garlic & leek soup that causes destruction for 48 hours after eating. The farts are not only room clearing, but they actually make your eyes water like you're slicing onions and they linger forever. They can be released extremely stealthily, however there is a moderate risk of sharting.

[bl2000]

Years ago I had to go to a meeting in Chicago at the last minute and the only way I could get there was by Amtrak 4 hour ride.
Everything was going OK on the train then some black guy/pimp dressed in a white suit went in the shitter, He was in there for a few min. and then he started yelling and raising hell, I thought he had one caught sideways.
He walked out and he was covered in that blue shit they put in the toilets he was demanding compensation to the conductor and he told him the sign says "close lid before flushing"
It was funny as hell I recently rode Amtrak and noticed they dont have the blue water any longer.

Sounds like he shared the bathroom with the Tidy-Bowl Man.

[Woodsy]

while I have been known to tuck a magazine or a newspaper section under my jacket when heading in; I saw a dude today (we are in an office building, whole floor shares one bathroom) going in with a big, hardback, library book.
I mean wtf
not only taking in a hardback book but one you are going to return, after you wipe your ass and grab it?
ugh.

[Brock Landers]

[flyandski365]

Damnit Brock!