Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**legallyillegal** · 03-07-2010, 11:38 PM

"what are all those poles with the cloths on them for?"

**A2thaK** · 03-08-2010, 07:50 AM

Just remebered one from a few years back. Was in the Vail parking garage, finished loading up, hoped in car in a rush to beat traffice back to Dillon, where we were staying. Right after I back out, I give it a little gas to get moving, and hear a funny sound. I get out to discover our boards on the ground, and a few people trying not to chuckle. I had forgotten to latch down the top part of my snowboard rack.

We all look like idiots every once and a while. Well, some people alot more then every once and a while.

**jwproulx** · 03-08-2010, 12:36 PM

"I don't know where I am. I hiked here."

-- One somewhat distraught half of a cell phone conversation overheard last Saturday about noon under sunny skies and calm winds at the end of the track out to the top of Vasquez Cirque, with dozens of other people around.

**Lonnie** · 03-08-2010, 03:34 PM

"You need more flare on your snowplow billy!"

By a dad yelling at son on bunny hill...

**stayalert** · 03-08-2010, 06:59 PM

A guy in the coral said "hey?....Do you know that your nose is bleeding?"

**AA-Shred** · 03-08-2010, 07:24 PM

Gaper: Hi there! What do you set your din to? (i was quite surprised they knew about DIN settings)

Me: 10 and a half

Gaper: Really? I have mine set to 3 and they don't come off, its because of my silky smooth technique. Maybe you should try becoming a smoother skier so you can lower your bindings.

And this guy wasn't a kid, he was pretty big.

**Zee** · 03-08-2010, 07:50 PM

[ame="http://vimeo.com/9692428"]LOL[/ame]

I found this mildly amusing... a lot of stupid things said in here...

**booner** · 03-08-2010, 07:57 PM

Rode up with a COMPLETE toolbox yesterday. I've been on the lift with this tool before because he said the same thing, word for word, as he did the last time. As we're passing the panty/bra/bead tree he says "I need to stop at wal-mart and get a pair of huge granny panties, a hershey bar, and some mustard so I can blah blah blah..I'm no longer really paying attention. Then the next time his A.D.D. made him blurt out some random stupid shit he starts telling me about how I NEED to get the same SWEET skullcandy headphones that he has cause they're only 20 bucks and they're SOOO SICK. This kid was at least 21..I should have thrown him off the lift.

**Shadam** · 03-08-2010, 09:03 PM

The road from Golden to Kicking Horse is a 50kph zone, however (almost) everyone does 80kph. I'm going up for some lazy afternoon laps with pals and I see a car coming down the hill and he hasn't shut the ski racks on his roof racks so his skis and poles are just sitting there on the roof at 80kph. It was only a matter of which corner?
Ok so lame story I know, anyhoo the chicks just arrived and I'll post pics soon ... or not!

**Zee** · 03-08-2010, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by Shadam

The road from Golden to Kicking Horse is a 50kph zone, however (almost) everyone does 80kph. I'm going up for some lazy afternoon laps with pals and I see a car coming down the hill and he hasn't shut the ski racks on his roof racks so his skis and poles are just sitting there on the roof at 80kph. It was only a matter of which corner?
Ok so lame story I know, anyhoo the chicks just arrived and I'll post pics soon ... or not!

And that is why now I have my Yakima key attached to the ignition key.

(no it wasn't me at Kicking Horse, I just pulled out of my driveway and realized I didn't have the Yakima key because it was still on the open box)

**thisisastickup** · 03-08-2010, 10:02 PM

Originally Posted by Zee

I found this mildly amusing... a lot of stupid things said in here...

I personally think that that skier dad was totally in the wrong, and deserved to have his ass beat in front of his kid.

**Scree Shredder** · 03-08-2010, 10:14 PM

While riding the parking lot shuttle, or "gaper train" as it is commonly refered to, some middle aged gaper checking out my snowboard asks me "do those things have edges, cause I see all the snowboarders skidding down side ways" I kinda feel like he was trying to talk shit cause he was some racer looking fag on some slalom skis and he was looking right at my board. Can't you see my edges bitch? I hate old racer dudes that just assume they are way more skilled than any snowboarder and all we do is slide rails and scrape down the hill on one edge. So I told him "no they don't have edges" in a sarcastic tone, then cranked some Lamb of God in my helmet loud enough for him to know I couldn't hear any other dumb shit he had to say.

**MightyQuinn** · 03-08-2010, 10:42 PM

I was going to quote only the last line, but the whole post is precious.

Originally Posted by farmer

I really felt sorry for this ski instructor I went up the lift with yesterday. A little background: On the chair was me, another skier, the aussie snowboard instructor and 3 snowboarders / students who are up for the day with school. Over the course of the chair ride, I hear the following

"Oh no, its snowing again. I hate it. It makes it icy" (blue sky, but the wind picked up and blew some snow off the trees)

"I love doing face plants"

"Did you see the double summer-salt I did on that last run" "no, you just crashed and tumbled down the hill"

"lets do those moguls" *points at skied out blue run, which was groomed the night before and then 2" fell on it and got skied out. no bumps anywhere within sight*

"look at that hudge jump" *points at nothing, again*

Most was from one JONG in the middle with a pathetic excuse for a moustache / dirt on his lip. the girl sitting next to me was making fun of him the whole way. Fuck it was getting hard not to laugh

Finally, from the aussie, "In the two days you guys have been up here, I've heard the worst ideas ever. You hate fresh snow, like crashing and doing face plants, and flap your arms around like a bunch of birds while trying to make it down the hill. Why don't you just learn how to snowboard, then we'll think about the jumps and moguls"

Minimal water ski comments over the last 2 days in interior BC though. only 1 out of every 5 chairs. I'm really tempted to mount some binders on a pair one of these days

My least favorite thing about the S7's are all the comments. Fuck guys, I spend all day at the shop telling you about the new rocker technology, I don't want to do it on my day off.

I sent a wife and daughter on lady's Gots and S7's. They had a blast and wanted to buy them. Dad showed up and demanded I show them something more traditional

**montanaskier** · 03-08-2010, 10:48 PM

that snowboard dude taking his shirt off is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen...maybe ever. What a fucking retard.

**Art Shirk** · 03-08-2010, 10:57 PM

Foreground dude in the helmet seconds before I snapped this picture last weekend: "I don't like Powder Bowl anymore. It's too narrow."

**old goat** · 03-13-2010, 07:15 PM

me: Uh, could you move your board a little so it's not digging into my leg
gaper girl: No--that's the way my leg hangs
me: not for long (actually I didn't say anything-what's the point)

**Breakwater** · 03-13-2010, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by 2nd mate

On the drive home from Jay Monday I saw a northbound car with a Thule box on backwards.

How about a Prius (no, not my lady-friend's) with a thule strapped down with some sort of tiny diameter white line.

**Phall** · 03-13-2010, 08:03 PM

Sidestepping into East Baldy yesterday, closing in fast on one dude in front of us, when we get to him, "dang, do you guys have skins on?" "nope"
"this is sure tiring"

**The SnowShow** · 03-13-2010, 10:21 PM

Guy on A Basin lift complaining how bright the sun is in Colorado...

**BushwackerinPA** · 03-14-2010, 05:59 PM

I am teaching a group of adult never evers that just spent 45 min lapping the magic carpet and more than ready to ride our easiest chairlift. I bring them over get them to the side to instruct them how their first chairlift ride is going to go. After coaching them though this this lady turns to me and ask if i can help her with the chairlift.

I said sure "put your skis on"

She says "Oh I wasnt sure if it was easier to ride the chairlift with my skis off or on"

Me "you never skied before and you shouldnt ride the chairlift just yet" "the magic carpet is just over there"

her "no I can stop and turn fine I just have trouble with the chairlift"

Me " please dont ride the chairlift"

I then get on the chairlift catch up to my class. I stop them over to the side tell them to look up as this womens is screaming her lungs out that she cant she cant stop or turn as she straightlines the beginner hill, She then hit someone standing at the bottom of the hill.

end of story I hope you enjoyed it!

**Garth Bimble** · 03-14-2010, 06:52 PM

Originally Posted by The SnowShow

Guy on A Basin lift complaining how bright the sun is in Colorado...

Maybe he was a vampire from Texas on Spring break?

**Ryan Pringnitz** · 03-14-2010, 07:04 PM

Where do they put the moguls in the summertime?

And I can't even recall all the ridiculous things people say to me when on skis with tip / tail rocker.

**counterfeitfake** · 03-14-2010, 07:55 PM

Originally Posted by Ryan Pringnitz

Where do they put the moguls in the summertime?

And I can't even recall all the ridiculous things people say to me when on skis with tip / tail rocker.

Thank you for the original and hilarious addition to this thread. Does anyone ever ask you about elk?

**legallyillegal** · 03-14-2010, 08:01 PM

i bet he does arials on his waterskies

**The SnowShow** · 03-14-2010, 08:51 PM

I love the gapers who have to ask about the machines that make moguls...

Also, gotta love it when gapers duck under a rope and ski under a lift to access some untouched pow and keep face planting b/c they have no idea how to ski it...great entertainment from the lift