Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**nateski** · 02-20-2010, 10:32 AM

riding lift with a couple 50-ish gapes. chair starts to go over a small terrain park.
g1: what is this??
g2: oh, this is where them there snowboarders come through and do tricks. ((as a couple skiers go by below))
(someone does a 360 below)
g1: WOW. ive never seen anything like that before. looks DANGEROUS.
g2: yeah, you better have been a diver in high school to try stuff like that.

**The SnowShow** · 02-20-2010, 06:06 PM

While crossing the T-bar track en route to Cucumber Bowl at Breck, I came across a woman walking back away from the edge of the bowl while dragging her skis....she was obviously sinking really deep, and asked me, is this the way down (pointing back at the T Bar)....

**ego7man** · 02-20-2010, 06:38 PM

Going into a local shop to get my lhasas mounted. There's a racer girls behind me. She takes one look at my skis and goes, "how do you, like, turn those?" of course she was holding some skinny ass race boards. I burst into laughter right after that and she gave me a dirty look. Suits her right for such a fucken stupid comment.

**Pimpin Panda** · 02-20-2010, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by jrbd

Monday, my wife and I are about to board a 2-person lift. The guy behind us asks, "Where does this lift go?"

How do you answer a question like that in the two seconds before the chair arrives?

Your lucky. Imagine sitski who was explaining to someone how his sitski worked and they asked him how gravity works

**Jag** · 02-20-2010, 11:00 PM

Originally Posted by ego7man

Going into a local shop to get my lhasas mounted. There's a racer girls behind me. She takes one look at my skis and goes, "how do you, like, turn those?" of course she was holding some skinny ass race boards. I burst into laughter right after that and she gave me a dirty look. Suits her right for such a fucken stupid comment.

Dude, she gave you a dirty look because your a fag.

**old goat** · 02-21-2010, 12:57 AM

Originally Posted by ego7man

Going into a local shop to get my lhasas mounted. There's a racer girls behind me. She takes one look at my skis and goes, "how do you, like, turn those?" of course she was holding some skinny ass race boards. I burst into laughter right after that and she gave me a dirty look. Suits her right for such a fucken stupid comment.

This isn't the time to be making fun of racer girls

**farmer** · 02-21-2010, 01:02 AM

Originally Posted by ego7man

Going into a local shop to get my lhasas mounted. There's a racer girls behind me. She takes one look at my skis and goes, "how do you, like, turn those?" of course she was holding some skinny ass race boards. I burst into laughter right after that and she gave me a dirty look. Suits her right for such a fucken stupid comment.

never laugh women that are at a ski hill. We don't want them both to leave.

**snoqpass** · 02-21-2010, 01:29 AM

Originally Posted by ski.stealer

Don't be a retard - skis don't have wheels./.. duh.

Oh yes they do...

http://www.ski-amigo.com/

**Sessiøn** · 02-21-2010, 01:32 AM

This is a serious thread, quit cunting it up.

**Bunion 2020** · 02-21-2010, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by jrbd

Monday, my wife and I are about to board a 2-person lift. The guy behind us asks, "Where does this lift go?"

How do you answer a question like that in the two seconds before the chair arrives?

It doesn't go anywhere! Its bolted to the ground, honest!

**leroy jenkins** · 02-21-2010, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by jrbd

Monday, my wife and I are about to board a 2-person lift. The guy behind us asks, "Where does this lift go?"

How do you answer a question like that in the two seconds before the chair arrives?

Hah, I got stopped while mnt biking this summer by two obvious out of towners huffing and pufffing. I was riding up a road, and they had taken a trail that went from the same road off to the side then reconnected with the road about a half mile later, and were now walking down the road, towards where they initially left it (which was in sight if they looked).

The one guy stopped and asked me "hey bud, does this road go down?"

I answered "Actually, this is one of those roads that goes both up AND down".

His buddy laughed at him.

**QuikR12** · 02-21-2010, 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by leroy jenkins

The one guy stopped and asked me "hey bud, does this road go down?"

I answered "Actually, this is one of those roads that goes both up AND down".

quick wit ftw!

**enzo3366** · 02-21-2010, 10:27 PM

Not a quote, more of just a facepalm moment.

Saw a boarder in a line (that i skied into) requiring two pillow drops followed by a turn into a narrow chute with a 5ft air out. Boarder realizes he's cliffed out. Instead of trying to climb out or sucking it up to huck it (we've gotten 2 ft of snow over the weekend), he takes off his board, throws it down into the apron. Then jumps down after his board.

Sits in the top of the apron so no one else could ski down the chute, and takes 5 minutes to strap in and another 10 minutes of sitting around before deciding its a good idea to not sit directly in the outrun of the outrun for a chute.

**zutroy** · 02-21-2010, 10:51 PM

Couple seasons ago I went up to Snow Summit in Big Bear to demo from Bluehouse Districts. The districts and MRs were out, but they had mavens and shoots, so the rep and I decided to take them out for some laps to kill some time. While standing in the main lift line a question was posed.....

"Are those water skis?" Point at our skis.....

Yeah...........we both just laughed......

**Crampedon** · 02-22-2010, 12:21 AM

I go into a shop today to drop my skis of for a wax/tune and am rapping w/ shop guy 1 about what rockered skis they have to demo. Shop guy 2 is helping an old couple that came in to rent skis toting some vintage sweet K2 red rear entry boots.
Shop guy helping me is showing me some Coombacks, lines ect and they had a pair for me, he is laying one on the counter and sees the red boot and starts in about what would really help my skiing is some new boots. My Soloman x10's with booster straps and intuitions are sitting at his feet. I am like what do you mean? He shrugs and picks up the old red boot and starts to adjust the binding for it.

The other shop dude started howling. $$$

**butterscotch** · 02-22-2010, 10:45 AM

Overheard: "Did you see those [US olympic] mogul team jackets? They have the same ones for sale at a store downtown! Isn't that a cool idea?"

Seen from the lift: Two gapers had hit a small tree and ripped it out of the ground. They were trying to put it back by jamming it into the snow. I swear this happened.

**JimmyCarter** · 02-22-2010, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by butterscotch

Seen from the lift: Two gapers had hit a small tree and ripped it out of the ground. They were trying to put it back by jamming it into the snow. I swear this happened.

Winter rules

**Edgnar** · 02-22-2010, 12:17 PM

This weekend I was hiking out to the twin chutes at Breck, and ski patrol had passed us on a sled on the way up. So I get up to the backcountry gate there, and ask the patroller whats up, wondering if someone had gotten into trouble or if they were just trying to educate gapers who had no gear. There was a high avalanche danger this day. He asks me if I'm going out the gate, I tell him, no, I don't have any of my gear, saw the high danger forecast, and I'm planning on staying inbounds. He says, good idea. So anyway, I continue shooting the shit with this guy, waiting for a friend to catch up. Then, up walks Mr. Gaper with his 10 year old in tow. Patroller asks him, you heading out? He says, yea. 'Troller asks, do you have any gear, beacon probe, shovel (this guy obviously has none) he says, no, but I've been out here before. 'Troller asks him if he has any avy knowledge, no, but I've been out here before. At this point, I'm looking at gaper in disbelief. Is this dude really about to take his son out into avy terrain with no gear at all? So I say, it only takes once to kill you and the avalanche forecast today is high danger. He says again, I've been out there before, and I say, again, it only takes once to kill you. So finally, this dude decides not to keep going.

So, while gaper is standing there, pondering what next, a guy who does look prepared, touring bindings, back pack, etc who is apparently a friend of 'troller comes over and starts talking to him. talking about heading out the gate. Patroller says (while gaper is about 10 feet away, fully with in earshot) anybody who goes out that gate with out gear is an idiot. Didn't see where the gaper went after that, but it was funny. Other people just cruised right on by the 'troller w/out gear too. Amazing how dumb some people are.

**Lelandjt** · 02-23-2010, 11:34 AM

Isn't all the terrain between the gate and the rope that limits how far west you can go well under 30 degrees? The face after that rope slid earlier this year but I've never seen windows or twin chutes slide more than a little sluff.

Edit: Just got back from a lap on the farthest chute. It is "in bounds". There is a rope above the traverse line and then dropping down preventing you from going farther out that says "ski area boundary". There is no gate to pass through to get to the outer windows and Twin Chutes, the cat track just ends and the traverse line starts. These factors combined with it being too flat to REALLY slide makes me wonder why you and the patroller were making such a big deal about it.

Did you mean the gate going the other way to, Billy's Bowl?

**Scree Shredder** · 02-26-2010, 10:12 PM

So I'm getting off the tram at big sky a few days ago and its super super windy. So windy I had to hold my board lined up with my body to not get blown around. I see this guy chasing a pole that he dropped and is being blown off the side of the peak slip and eat it on the ice meanwhile his other pole that is barely stuck in the snow starts to blow away so I grab it and hand it to him thinking 'man this gaper is gonna be struggling on the way down'. Saw him in line again later and my buddy says "hey Scott Schmidt is skiing up here again" same guy no bull shit. Not quite the gaper I thought he was. We all get kinda gaped every once in a while I guess.

**davieboot** · 02-26-2010, 10:53 PM

At a ski shop in San Diego (really, a ski/board/surf/skate/etc shop... no real ski shops in SD), a casual shopper was looking at some Dukes. The salesman came up and started telling the shopper about how great they are and how the heel releases so that he can ski backcountry.

The shopper asks, "can I ski telemark on these?"
Salesman," Well, they aren't designed for that... ... ...but yeah, you could do it."

**farmer** · 02-26-2010, 11:09 PM

I really felt sorry for this ski instructor I went up the lift with yesterday. A little background: On the chair was me, another skier, the aussie snowboard instructor and 3 snowboarders / students who are up for the day with school. Over the course of the chair ride, I hear the following

"Oh no, its snowing again. I hate it. It makes it icy" (blue sky, but the wind picked up and blew some snow off the trees)

"I love doing face plants"

"Did you see the double summer-salt I did on that last run" "no, you just crashed and tumbled down the hill"

"lets do those moguls" *points at skied out blue run, which was groomed the night before and then 2" fell on it and got skied out. no bumps anywhere within sight*

"look at that hudge jump" *points at nothing, again*

Most was from one JONG in the middle with a pathetic excuse for a moustache / dirt on his lip. the girl sitting next to me was making fun of him the whole way. Fuck it was getting hard not to laugh

Finally, from the aussie, "In the two days you guys have been up here, I've heard the worst ideas ever. You hate fresh snow, like crashing and doing face plants, and flap your arms around like a bunch of birds while trying to make it down the hill. Why don't you just learn how to snowboard, then we'll think about the jumps and moguls"

Minimal water ski comments over the last 2 days in interior BC though. only 1 out of every 5 chairs. I'm really tempted to mount some binders on a pair one of these days

**FuniSmell** · 02-26-2010, 11:27 PM

I had the pleasure of a Gaper on the Headwall chair @ Squaw Wednesday ask me if my 5 yr old 95 underfoot Seth Pistols are better in powder than "regular" skis because they were so much wider. I thought I was hallucinating. Thank God I wasn't on my Pontoons right then. Who knows what they would have asked me about those.

**stupid idiot** · 02-26-2010, 11:36 PM

^whoever said Breck had chutes is a total total Gaper,
totally

**dumpy** · 02-26-2010, 11:46 PM

Got 18" over night yesterday, really heavy and wet. First run today I hop on the lift with a kid wearing GS boards. Ask him how they are handling in today's snow. He (obviously) says "not that great" and let's me know that he was a local college student. He told me that he didn't bring his MANTRAS to school with him because "I thought it never really snowed that much here".

Actually other than thinking Mantras are a pow ski and having no idea about local weather, he was relatively non-gaper.