Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[alpenglow]

Not a quote but I was waiting for some friends at the mid-mountain hut over the weekend and saw a snowboarder get tangled up in the nylon "Slow Ski Zone" sign and do a nice cartwheel. Too bad he didn't actually uproot the sign and take it with him downhill.

[yippeekiyayMF]

saw a dude last weekend with two very large rear view mirrors attached to his hard shell helmet...

as opposed to his soft-shell helmet? you are now the gaper who made the best gaper quote of the weekend!

[mtsprings]

I don't have a lot of experience at resorts, but find them interesting for the people that I see there. My observation is that the majority of the skiers are not "mountain loving" people, in that they aren't really there for the aesthetic beauty of the mountains. They're there for some skiing, some eating, some whatever. They dump Red Bull cans (though most could go without the calories in Red Bull) on the snow, leave wrappers and ciggy packages all over, and are generally slobs. I guess the sheer volume of people means that you're just going to get that percentage that are fuckwads.

I have seen some of the stuff contained in the last 36 pages, including many questions about my skis (though G3 Spitfires with Freerides are FAR from radical skis, sheesh) and bindings. But, most people are just curious and certainly are not being rude or obnoxious about it. So, I am polite back and explain why they're different.

I see folks in one-piece neon suits from the 1980's, but I hate tossing gear that works, so if I had one, I might use it too. I use my belay parka on descents 'cause I can't afford it and a fancy ski jacket too, so I'm probably guilty of some ski-hill-fashion faux-pas as well.

If you bash into me in the lift line, you might get some shit from me. If you're just a new skier and having trouble, hey, we were all new at some point. But, if you're just being an asshole not paying attention and ram your tips repeatedly into the backs of my boots, I'll tell you to fuck off.

I don't like people that try to ski something way out of their league and I don't like fools that go through the slow zones at Warp 10. As to the first point, though, sometimes people get in over their heads without knowing it. I came across a kid, about 10, standing off to the side at the top of a very steep drop-off. The section below was much mellower, but he was paralyzed with fear at the initial 30M or so. I stopped and talked to him for a minute and realized he'd taken a wrong turn. I showed him where to go, and by backing up a little (off to the side!) and making some adjustments, he was able to get down to where he needed to be. Is it too hard to help someone out once in a while?

Some of my climbing and skiing friends are professional guides and considered among the best on the planet for their skills. They are the most humble people I know and though they see the dumbest shit imaginable in the mountains, they will intercede and provide corrective advice and assistance, but never act like assholes about it. These folks never lord their superior skill over anyone. I think it a good example.

Now, that said, I do work once a week (As a school teacher, I don't make enough dough to support my skiing/climbing habit, so I need the Pro-Deals) in an outdoor store and we sell climbing and BC ski gear, and some people do come in with a real chip on their shoulder about their experience/skill level and so on, and they play a game of "you're the lowly employee here and I am a ski/climbing God!" Unless they make it obvious that they're going to go out and hurt themselves or someone else, I just let them puff out their chest and get their rocks off. However, yes, like this thread, we will mock them afterwords.

I don't mind gapers, though whoever came up with that term for weekend-warrior skiers is a sick fuck. In any case, I draw the line at drunk skiers. At Whiteface last weekend, this guy reeked of liquor from like 10 feet away. There is no quote, just the smell of alcohol up outside a mid-mountain chairlift. Seriously, wtf, people should not drink and ski. That's just as bad as DUIs. Violators should have to wear a bright-yellow neon jumpsuit or something, like in some states DUI offenders have to have bright yellow license plates.

I see the light!

After reading your post can now understand why my existence has been so unfulfilling.

I have an urge to get up from my pew and come forward, to the altar. I promise to be more humble not laugh at others, not ski under the influence and whatever else. Maybe you could engrave your thoughts into some stone tablets for all of us to live by.

Thanks both of you just being you.

P.S. Do you have any naked pictures of your wife or girlfriend to post? If not get the fuck out of here you fucking douchebags.

[johngenx]

P.S. Do you have any naked pictures of your wife or girlfriend to post?

Sorry, just of yours...

[farmer]

what lights? there are no lights at fernie...

just goin by what they told me. never been up there.

[carvedog]

Sorry, just of yours...

[intheWRONGsummitcounty]

P.S. Do you have any naked pictures of your wife or girlfriend to post? If not get the fuck out of here you fucking douchebags.

Not that I'd show you, pervert. I think there are other internet sites for folks like you.

If you are saying that real skiers drink and ski, just go fucking hole up in a sleazy bar with a ski-simulator video game. But don't take my word, drink a six pack, and fill your Camelback with Banker's vodka and boot up at your local mountain. You can be a role model for everyone. In fact, do that every single day the lifts are running.

And "get out of here fucking douchebag"??? Ok, teleport your disturbed ass through cyberspace and manually remove me from the forum. Awww, you can't do that wizard shit? Hmmm, that sucks for you. Guess I'll be staying.

[Nathan Explosion]

Not that I'd show you, pervert. I think there are other internet sites for folks like you.

If you are saying that real skiers drink and ski, just go fucking hole up in a sleazy bar with a ski-simulator video game. But don't take my word, drink a six pack, and fill your Camelback with Banker's vodka and boot up at your local mountain. You can be a role model for everyone. In fact, do that every single day the lifts are running.

And "get out of here fucking douchebag"??? Ok, teleport your disturbed ass through cyberspace and manually remove me from the forum. Awww, you can't do that wizard shit? Hmmm, that sucks for you. Guess I'll be staying.

Kids, this is how not to react on TGR.

That's my obligatory gaper quote, too.

[toast2266]

johngenx, inthewrongsummitcounty, I respectfully request that you two stop cunting up one of the more entertaining threads around here.

Or is everything you write intended to be an exercise in irony given the thread title? If that's the case, then touché. Well played.

[Finntroll]

Guess I'll be staying.

And we're all just so happy to have you.

[intheWRONGsummitcounty]

johngenx, inthewrongsummitcounty, I respectfully request that you two stop cunting up one of the more entertaining threads around here.

Or is everything you write intended to be an exercise in irony given the thread title? If that's the case, then touché. Well played.

Ok jeez, I didn't know that old drunk dudes on the mountain were not gaper-like, and that they are apparently commonplace. Maybe they are called alpine-alkees. You can disregard my previous posts.

BUT HERE IT IS, I WILL CONTRIBUTE A QUOTE I JUST REMEMBERED SO AS NOT TO CUNT THIS THREAD UP:

Guy in gondola at Whiteface last Saturday asks ski patrol person also in gondola if he carries a shovel for avalanches. Patroller replies: "no, we don't get those at Whiteface."

[Finntroll]

Ok jeez, I didn't know that old drunk dudes on the mountain were not gaper-like, and that they are apparently commonplace. Maybe they are called alpine-alkees. You can disregard my previous posts.

BUT HERE IT IS, I WILL CONTRIBUTE A QUOTE I JUST REMEMBERED SO AS NOT TO CUNT THIS THREAD UP:

Guy in gondola at Whiteface last Saturday asks ski patrol person also in gondola if he carries a shovel for avalanches. Patroller replies: "no, we don't get those at Whiteface."

Just...stop. Someday, somebody is going to read all 29107405 pages of this thread, and you'll have wasted their time.

Time waster.

[Ted Striker]

Sorry, just of yours...

You'll fit in just fine 'round here

[intheWRONGsummitcounty]

Just...stop. Someday, somebody is going to read all 29107405 pages of this thread, and you'll have wasted their time.

Time waster.

So you do want a quote, then you don't. Did you provide one yourself, big guy? Nope, and I did. Maybe you are the one wasting time on this thread. Do you even ski? The second half of your username would indicate otherwise...

[karpiel]

Just...stop. Someday, somebody is going to read all 29107405 pages of this thread, and you'll have wasted their time.

Time waster.

That's over 500 years of nonstop posts. Pick a realistic number!

[karpiel]

How's the skiing in Ohio this time of year?

[Finntroll]

That's over 500 years of nonstop posts. Pick a realistic number!

Don't tell me how to live my life.

So you do want a quote, then you don't. Did you provide one yourself, big guy? Nope, and I did. Maybe you are the one wasting time on this thread. Do you even ski? The second half of your username would indicate otherwise...

You're right. I'm sure you could totally like out ski me in the gnar that is Ohio.

Ohio - Texas with winter...and lower test scores.

[intheWRONGsummitcounty]

How's the skiing in Ohio this time of year?

About as bad as the denver nuggets

[mtsprings]

Sorry, just of yours...

Now that is how you do it.

[karpiel]

About as bad as the denver nuggets

Are the nuggets football or something?

[Finntroll]

Are the nuggets football or something?

Foosball is the tool of the devil!

[intheWRONGsummitcounty]

Are the nuggets football or something?

I think that's the winner for best gaper quote

[karpiel]

I think that's the winner for best gaper quote

Is a gaper a super hardcore in bounds skier? Brah.

[Al_Rouse]

^^^ Only if they traverse

[ski3 P O]

^^^ Only if they traverse