Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[becks]

one of those texans that have been flocking to montana..
"why are your skis turned up in the back, does that make you go faster?" in response "no its so i can ski switch" to which the texan continues: "switch? theyre pretty fat, bet they're fun on groomers huh". he was completely serious, referencing my p4s. right.. granted if i went to texas i wouldnt know a horse from a horse, but i had to laugh just a little bit.

[enzo3366]

At killington today: "Yeah, Killington is just so big. And the terrain is just so varied. Sometimes, skiing here, I feel like I am skiing out west"

[thecriscokid]

" Yeah...I only feed her once a month"

[iceman]

At killington today: "Yeah, Killington is just so big. And the terrain is just so varied. Sometimes, skiing here, I feel like I am skiing out west"

When you ski Killington, remember that it's what Keystone wants to be when it grows up.

[luca brasi]

As a working class guy who had been blessed to have lived in Aspen for a year, I grew to greatly respect the dedicated individuals responsible for plowing, removing, handling, and relocating the massive amounts of snow that fell on the town in order to keep the entertaining society moving.

So, naturally, when walking to Paradise to get my daily morning coffee, I was very appalled to hear an angry tourist, yelling and pointing out a large pile of snow that the John Deere operators had collected on the corner of the mall. He was saying to his friend "Look at this shit! Get it outta here!!" As if to imply that the organized removal of 10" of unconsolidated Colorado powder what somehow inefficient to his East Coast sludge removal standards.

[eknomf]

Driving up to whistler just before creekside we got stopped at a light with about 20 other cars with skis on the roof. Some lady gets out of her car, comes up, knocks on the window and asks "Where do we go for skiing?"

[karpiel]

Driving up to whistler just before creekside we got stopped at a light with about 20 other cars with skis on the roof. Some lady gets out of her car, comes up, knocks on the window and asks "Where do we go for skiing?"

Holy shit that is good.

[Dobish]

"lets go over there and find that baby bumpy"
"yeah, I think i know where that is"
"but we don't want to get caught at the big bumpy part"
"No. let's stick to the baby bumpies for sure."

the only thing they had going for them was the spandex made their asses look decent.....

then there was the time when we were getting on the lift and the MILF in front of me was hitting on the liftie... as we were getting on the lift, he makes the following comment: "man, that is one hot MILF"

I respond with, "yeah, that's my mom." the look on his face was priceless!

[OSECS]

"lets go over there and find that baby bumpy"
"yeah, I think i know where that is"
"but we don't want to get caught at the big bumpy part"
"No. let's stick to the baby bumpies for sure."

the only thing they had going for them was the spandex made their asses look decent.....

then there was the time when we were getting on the lift and the MILF in front of me was hitting on the liftie... as we were getting on the lift, he makes the following comment: "man, that is one hot MILF"

I respond with, "yeah, that's my mom." the look on his face was priceless!

Excellent !!

[alldownhill]

today at a-basin, some guy asked my friends if they drove there. i wasnt there, so i dont know what they said to him, but i got a real good chuckle out of it when they told me about it.

You realize you can take a bus there, right?

[eblackwelder]

This past Saturday at my home mountain in MA. It was as low as -15F on the way in, and -7F when the lifts opened. So I thought it would be a gaperless morning until it warmed up. I was wrong.

On the third ride up the chairlift I sat with two other guys. One with semi recent gear and duds, the other with everything from circa 1985. The chat started with the obvious cold weather and evolved:

Gaper 1: Well, one good thing about this cold is that it's very sobering.
Gaper 2: Yeah, I needed some sobering after last night.
Me: I agree. This cold is almost as good as caffeine, but not good enough. So you guys ripped it up last night?
Gaper 1: Big time. As evidenced by my skis.

I looked. He had frozen stomache spackle all over his skis.

Me: That's nasty dude.
Gaper 1: It gets worse - it's on my boot buckles too. I fell on the first run and lost my breakfast.
Gaper 2: You lost more than that, it was everywhere. Maybe we should have skied tomorrow instead.
Me: So why didn't you? It is supposed to be in the 20's with 6 to 8 inches of freshies.
Gaper 2: Well, we only get out once every 2 or 3 years, so we try and make the best of it. Today was supposed to be sunny.
Me: So you waited 3 years to ski on the coldest day in 5 years with a hangover? Sounds like you didn't really think this through.
Gaper 1: No, I guess not. Maybe we'll do better next time.
Me: Good luck with that.

[Little Big Lost]

While up to BigSky one year wife and I rode the Gondola with a young man. I had noticed him coming down MR K, having a bit of a hard time, but he had a big smile on his face. He was Asian, and spoke fair English. He was Korean, but lived and worked in Minneapolis. 3 more of his buddies were up on the hill somewhere. "Wow" I said, making conversation. "Where are you staying?" "Oh, we aren't, we left Minneapolis last night and drove all the way, no stopping." I just stared at him, eyes kind of bugging out. "And today we drive home, I have to be home in the morning." Wow! I thought I drove a long way that morning from Idaho Falls.....

The next ride up the Gondola (teaching wife to snowboard) a young man gets on with us. Going to school in Bozeman. Nice kid, pleasant, talkative, liked to snowboard. I didn't notice at first, but about halfway up I look down and notice the kid had dress shoes on. You know, church shoes, shiny and black. He sees me looking. I look at him, and raise one eyebrow....."I forgot my boots at home." Come to find out home was home, like in Illinois. He forgot to bring them when he came out for school earlier in the year.......I watched him strap in and head down the hill....looked to be quite awkward, and funny!

[Dangeroutofthevalley]

texas gaper:

What do ya mean I can't ski in my jeans??? ...I scotch-guarded 'em!!!

[dvlr]

one of those texans that have been flocking to montana..
"why are your skis turned up in the back, does that make you go faster?" in response "no its so i can ski switch" to which the texan continues: "switch? theyre pretty fat, bet they're fun on groomers huh". he was completely serious, referencing my p4s. right.. granted if i went to texas i wouldnt know a horse from a horse, but i had to laugh just a little bit.

another Texan: "I'm gonna get some of them double-enders and go over to that trick ditch."

[Ember]

Recently saw someone passing through in the neighborhood wearing his ski helmet and goggles... while driving. He did have skis on his roof rack, so I know he wasn't just trying to pretend to be a formula one driver or anything.

It made my day.

[highangle]

another Texan: "I'm gonna get some of them double-enders and go over to that trick ditch."

Did you loan him yours?

It would damn sure be worth it....

[The SMP]

Midweek at Blueknob, PA heard under the chair

#1-"this is expert only"
#2-"no, no it's not"
#1-"what?"
#2-"It goes by color, red and orange are expert"

I assume some kind of reference to the dubya terror alert meter thingy...

[strange meadow lark]

Girl at Jay: Can I bring my snowboard inside?

Boyfriend: Why would you want to do that?

Girl: So it doesn't get cold

[Eleventy]

"Skis that are all fat like that are just a fad. In a couple of years everyone will be skiing on normal skis again."

[skiATL]

A few from Winterplace, WV

First, a few things:
The southeast US has a very high percentage of gapers. Winterplace in WV is "The church group" resort and has the easiest terrain, and is all about beginners. I was there (fo free) over MLK weekend, the busiest, most crowded, and most gaperific weekend of the season, where they had some 500 church groups. When you see the liftline, half have their pants tucked into their boots. A quarter have those terrible 'crazy hats'(you know the colorful ones with dreads and stuff that are in the movie, jonny tsunami).

I get on the lift. first thing these people wearing Charlotte Hornets starter jackets say:
"So what church group are you here with?"

A guy is asking me about my 'double ended skis' (line invaders), looks down and says, "Wow. I didn't know SPY made skis. I have a friend that owns most of the company and he never said anything about that."
Me-"That's a sticker."
Guy-"Oh"

Not so much a quote,
Me and my friends are hiking the park at night(the mountain is flat as shit, and theres shit house lift lines). My friend put his jacket on the slow sign at the top of the park. While were are sessioning a flat down box, we see this gaper snowboarder wearing camo (fat too) take the jacket off the sign and try to ride down with it. We all saw and started yelling at him. He put the jacket back and tried to use some BS and say he was returning it to lost and found since it had been there for 3 hours. He eventually confessed that he was trying to steal it and he said, "Well I wouldnt have tried to steal it if I knew you guys were right there watching it." No shit, great west virginia education for you there.

In the park, there aren't any jumps, just 2 boxes and a rail. All the gapers are jumping off the side of the jumps to the rails. I overheard a gaper say, "Why do they put all these metal grind bars behind the jumps?"

Overheard in the lodge:
"Make sure you bundle up kids. Theres a frostbite warning today." Low:25*F High 34*F


Later, overheard in the liftline, "You fellas know how much them snowmakers cost? I bet you could pick a couple up at the home depot for about a hundred bucks."

[karpiel]

That reminded me of climbing at enchanted rock. Every weekend a church group would be there, whenever one of them topped out they yelled "god is good, all the time, god is good". I never really understood why until I saw how they set their anchors.


I also really need to start taking my camera when I wash my car, right next to maison de ski. I swear half the people that show up there could be out of a jeff foxworthy sketch.

[givethepigeye]

Thursday night in Denver Airport baggage

guy 1: " Looks like it is going to snow this weekend"
guy 2: "Yeah, but powder is a pain in the ass."

[P_McPoser]

today at a-basin, some guy asked my friends if they drove there. i wasnt there, so i dont know what they said to him, but i got a real good chuckle out of it when they told me about it.

I really don't get this one....Driving, as opposed to taking the bus, hitchiking??? I just don't see the funnny I guess.

[Helldawg]

No real quotes, but wow, I skied Flatten over the past week, and was amazed by the $$$ spent on Bogner, Couloir, and Volkl gear!

Countless fartbags, and matching outfits, paired with little to no ability, amazing!

I guess they're still having fun tho, so rock on...

[AbsolutStoli]

You realize you can take a bus there, right?

I really don't get this one....Driving, as opposed to taking the bus, hitchiking??? I just don't see the funnny I guess.

hmm...no i didnt realize that. we all thought driving was the only option. not so funny meow, is it?