Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**Lonnie** · 01-12-2009, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by 72Twenty

This made me laugh - last week at Targhee I was walking back to my truck and a guy commented on my helmet cam. He was like "is that a video camera?" and I was explaining how it worked to him. His wife and daughter were with him, and very loudly he says "you could use that to make some good pornos!" The look on his wife's face was priceless.

Good idea. Just make sure to wear your helmet while filming...

**jackbombay** · 01-12-2009, 12:00 PM

Years ago when I was a liftie at Targhee I was loading chairs on Balckfoot (center pole double chair). A single skis up to get on the chair, as you approach the loading area there were 3 sings that said "singles load on Left". The guy is standing right in the middle, I tell him 3 times to load on my side (the left) he never acknowledged me, I had said it quite loud the last time, there were 3 signs... Here's the chair, so I push it over to put him in the left side and he goes for the right side at the same time, BAM! center pole right to the back, yard sale right on the loading ramp, fuckin' Jong.

Him: "Why did you do that?!?!?!"

Me: "As a single you are supposed to load on the left, there are 3 signs telling you that as you ski up to the loading area."

Him: In a pissed off tone"I don't read when I'm on vacation!"

**beefcake** · 01-12-2009, 01:10 PM

first and only day i've been to breck this season, i DO have my head phones on and i get tapped on the shoulder and have to take them off for this question. (when you're standing in line at the bottom of the beaver run chair you are basically pointed in the direction of where the bus drop off and pick up is, it's very obvious, mostly cause of the large busses coming in and out but there are signs directing you to where each route will take you. so like red, blue, black and brown and they will go to different places like the ice rink or the various parking lots around town) so this 40 year old something man asks me "if i've been up on the red route yet today? how it is? and if it is harder than the black route because he's never been to a mountain with red trails before."

**Bigdump** · 01-12-2009, 01:30 PM

Douchebag comes into the lodge yesterday and he is covered with snow. Turns out he is wearing a fleece jacket and it is throughly caked. The guy sitting next to me says " Looks like today wasn't a good day to wear fleece" and the douchebag says " I always wear fleece because when I fall I dont want to slide too far" Then he takes off his fleece to hang it on the fireplace and he had body armour from head to toe. What?

**toast2266** · 01-12-2009, 01:34 PM

Couple of quotes from my Floridian friend in his first season of skiing:

(First minor powder day, on the lift ride up, watching people skiing under the lift) "Holy shit! You can't even see their skis!"

(First run on a real powder day, comes off the first run with a big grin on his face) "I just got it in the face!"

He had various other revelations that season, such as "tree skiing is fun," and "skis turn better when the edges are sharp."

**TeleHoar** · 01-12-2009, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by beefcake

first and only day i've been to breck this season, i DO have my head phones on and i get tapped on the shoulder and have to take them off for this question. (when you're standing in line at the bottom of the beaver run chair you are basically pointed in the direction of where the bus drop off and pick up is, it's very obvious, mostly cause of the large busses coming in and out but there are signs directing you to where each route will take you. so like red, blue, black and brown and they will go to different places like the ice rink or the various parking lots around town) so this 40 year old something man asks me "if i've been up on the red route yet today? how it is? and if it is harder than the black route because he's never been to a mountain with red trails before."

LOL

That bus stop is right across from my office.
My favorite one is the lady that asked if the YELLOW buses really went to AMARILLO!?

**TNKen** · 01-12-2009, 03:14 PM

Where do you put the snow during the summer?

**Helicrackjnky** · 01-13-2009, 09:31 AM

Saturday I am @ Wilmot (Yes Wisconsin) coaching my sons ski team, the person next to me in line says to her friend "Your stick things are bent" she looks at her poles & says oh you dont use them except to push in the lift line it doesnt matter look at how bent his are refering to my GS poles...

**ono** · 01-13-2009, 10:45 AM

you guys have some great gaper quotes.

thanks for adding to the bullshit around here.

seriously worthless thread.

**Daywalker** · 01-13-2009, 11:09 AM

Originally Posted by ono

seriously worthless thread.

Some of us find it amusing... you don't have to open it.

Yes, we could get in another discussion about "to each their own", fuck gapers, they pay for your cheap pass, blah blah blah. No specific people are being called out here so just chill out.

**OSECS** · 01-13-2009, 11:37 AM

Originally Posted by ono

you guys have some great gaper quotes.

thanks for adding to the bullshit around here.

seriously worthless thread.

This is a fucking hilarious thread. "Lighten up Francis" Try overheardinnewyork.com if you want to see some really funny shit people say

**pappag** · 01-13-2009, 11:44 AM

This is more of a chair lift experience than a direct quote. Several weeks ago, I was riding up Teacup at Vail with some douchebag attorney dude from Denver in his 40's along with what I presumed to be the secretary he's currently fucking.

This was soon after montanaskier's Lover's Leap incident, so patrol was pretty adamant about bombing. As we near the ridgeline, there's clear evidence of avy control on the ground with several bombholes and avy debris present.

Well ... DADFD was 100% convinced that the avy debris was ice, and he was talking to the SHCF as if he absolutely knew what he was talking about (common trait among lawyers). When SHCF asked about why the snow was gray in color, DADFD said it's because the snow there was very shallow and it's the ground beneath making that color as such.

**MakersTeleMark** · 01-13-2009, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by NPG

This is more of a chair lift experience than a direct quote. Several weeks ago, I was riding up Teacup at Vail with some douchebag attorney dude from Denver in his 40's along with what I presumed to be the secretary he's currently fucking.

This was soon after montanaskier's Lover's Leap incident, so patrol was pretty adamant about bombing. As we near the ridgeline, there's clear evidence of avy control on the ground with several bombholes and avy debris present.

Well ... DADFD was 100% convinced that the avy debris was ice, and he was talking to the SHCF as if he absolutely knew what he was talking about (common trait among lawyers). When SHCF asked about why the snow was gray in color, DADFD said it's because the snow there was very shallow and it's the ground beneath making that color as such.

Did you explain to them that you were a douchebag paralegal, and though he may be partner, you had a bit more on the ground information about the matter?

**GBB** · 01-13-2009, 11:52 AM

A guy in Aspen politely informed me that I was missing a chunk out of the back of both of my skis.

I was on Sanouks.

**mtsprings** · 01-13-2009, 11:56 AM

Not a quote but:

I had the opportunity to ride a lift with a well kept rancher whose appearance and presentation were obviously very important to him. Apparently he grew up skiing, was a self proclaimed “very good skier,” had been out of it a while and was excited to be getting back into skiing. His wardrobe ensemble included a nice western print wool coat; pretty silk bandana tied just so, sun glasses, hair and a cowboy hat that had all received effort an attention to be just right.

Getting off of the lift that has a relatively flat exit ramp, his tips cross, he swerves right whipping out a series of cones and then left back into the ramp. I turn around in time to see his hat has been knocked off, glasses are crooked and bandana is awry, one ski is on the other is off and he is sitting in the middle of the ramp rubbing the back of his head where the chair had hit him with a look as if he were about to cry on his face.

As I skied off laughing to myself, I thought that would be the end of the entertainment cowboy provide but:

At the end of the day I find that cowboy is parked right next to me and his is preparing to load skies into the rocket box on top of his “rig.” He is wearing his ski boots as he steps up into the open door of his “rig” as his is reaching to put the skis into the box he looses traction and slams his shin into the floorboard.

As I walk off, again his hat and glasses are crooked and he is rubbing his shin with the same, about to cry, look on his face.

**pechelman** · 01-13-2009, 11:56 AM

Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

Did you explain to them that you were a douchebag paralegal, and though he may be partner, you had a bit more on the ground information about the matter?

about the SHCF or the avy?

**pappag** · 01-13-2009, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

Did you explain to them that you were a douchebag paralegal, and though he may be partner, you had a bit more on the ground information about the matter?

Nah ... I try to keep my douchebag paralegal self in check on the lifts. I didn't bother to mutter a word for fear that his monologue full of bullshit would come to an abrupt end and the flight entertainment would cease. He was also poking fun and critiquing form at many skiers we saw below us as if he was an acclaimed expert.

And yeah, he also slammed the armrest bar on my head too.

**jstorrs** · 01-13-2009, 12:07 PM

After a snowboarder fell in the lift line his friend yelled at him "is that spilly ray cyrus over there"

**Ted Striker** · 01-13-2009, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by mtsprings

Not a quote but:

I had the opportunity to ride a lift with a well kept rancher whose appearance and presentation were obviously very important to him. Apparently he grew up skiing, was a self proclaimed “very good skier,” had been out of it a while and was excited to be getting back into skiing. His wardrobe ensemble included a nice western print wool coat; pretty silk bandana tied just so, sun glasses, hair and a cowboy hat that had all received effort an attention to be just right.

Getting off of the lift that has a relatively flat exit ramp, his tips cross, he swerves right whipping out a series of cones and then left back into the ramp. I turn around in time to see his hat has been knocked off, glasses are crooked and bandana is awry, one ski is on the other is off and he is sitting in the middle of the ramp rubbing the back of his head where the chair had hit him with a look as if he were about to cry on his face.

As I skied off laughing to myself, I thought that would be the end of the entertainment cowboy provide but:

At the end of the day I find that cowboy is parked right next to me and his is preparing to load skies into the rocket box on top of his “rig.” He is wearing his ski boots as he steps up into the open door of his “rig” as his is reaching to put the skis into the box he looses traction and slams his shin into the floorboard.

As I walk off, again his hat and glasses are crooked and he is rubbing his shin with the same, about to cry, look on his face.

As funny as that is, isn't it kinda mean? I would have helped him up after the chair unload wipeout - especially if it hit him in the head. Just sayn'

**basinbeater** · 01-13-2009, 01:11 PM

I saw one a while back when I was a lifty at Wolf Mountain (pre Canyons days). I was working at Raptor lift with a buddy and this guy in a one piece skis up to get on the chair, it is pole in the middle type of deal, sign says load on left, my buddy is loading him and says, load on the lift sir, look to the middle, he mutters that he knows how to get on a chairlift. Keep in mind I just finished smoking a huge bowl so I am thoroughly toasted, and I watch as the pole hits the guy in the ass, starts pushing him up the ramp (chair had a steep ramp immediately after loading) and the chair starts swinging back, (if we stopped the chair everytime this happened, nobody would make it up the hill) and right at the top, both skis pop off and the chair throws him headfirst down the other side of the ramp. I start to laugh as he climbs back up the other side screaming about how we need to fix the ramp. My buddy says, I warned you to load on the left and look inside, he keeps yelling and demands to speak to our supervisor. Our supervisor basically tells the guy he is an idiot. I was laughing so hard I had to go in the shack to laugh. Fuckin hilarious.

**mtsprings** · 01-13-2009, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by pisteoff

As funny as that is, isn't it kinda mean? I would have helped him up after the chair unload wipeout - especially if it hit him in the head. Just sayn'

Thanks mom I know I should be nicer to people.

I had already skied off about 15yrds before I stopped to turn around and the liftie was already scraping him up.

The liftie was laughing too so I thought the most courteous thing to do was for me to ski off so he did not have to acknowledge his “FAIL” to both of us but thanks for your advice.

**Ted Striker** · 01-13-2009, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by mtsprings

Thanks mom I know I should be nicer to people.

I had already skied off about 15yrds before I stopped to turn around and the liftie was already scraping him up.

The liftie was laughing too so I thought the most courteous thing to do was for me to ski off so he did not have to acknowledge his “FAIL” to both of us but thanks for your advice.

Relax, I was just rattling your cage.

**BmillsSkier** · 01-14-2009, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by Deep Days

Riding chair 2 at Loveland yesterday, and it stops. Again. I hear an instructor below telling clients in pink jackets and fanny packs, "Now this is rated green on the trail map, but it would normally be a blue!"

Awesome. Way to hold back the ability level, buddy! Real strong work. Intimidation is definitely the best tactic for inspiring confidence.

Maybe not a total gaper quote per se, but it still irked me some.

Last Tuesday, I had some token "wow, they're so wide!" comment about my Lotuses, to which I replied "Obviously, you're not a golfer." That made me chuckle.

Similar experience: My buddy gets on the train to O'Hare to fly out for a trip. He has his ski bag and boot bag that are both emblazened with the words, "Rossignol Skis", with him and sits down. Befuddled guy sitting across from him asks my buddy after 10 minutes of staring asks, "those aren't skis are they?" My buddy replies in a dead-pan tone, "obviously you're not a bowler."

Originally Posted by Parvo

not so much a quote as it is a noise. the noise some gapers make when they click their poles behind them when approaching dh skiers/boarder... as in "i'm passing you in my semi-tuck".

is this a generally accepted rule of passing? cuz i never saw or heard it before moving to park city. and i've never seen someone do it who could actually ski worth a shit

Just about everyone I know has done this for years. It comes in handy at the end of the day on cattracks like Dally at BC. You're trying to conserve your speed to get back to the bottom and every clown in front of you feels it's necessary to cut back and forth across the 60' wide track.

Originally Posted by jstorrs

After a snowboarder fell in the lift line his friend yelled at him "is that spilly ray cyrus over there"

This is funny. Consider it stolen.

**dumpy** · 01-14-2009, 09:14 AM

Over the weekend in the liftline a teenager on rental snowlerblades was looking me and my buddy's not exactly long ski's (178 and 169), looks at us and his snowboarder friend and the following conversation took place:

Fruitbooter: "Your skis are longer than mine"
Me: "yup, but those aren't skis"
FB: "no they are snow blades, good for doing 360s"
My friend muttering: "they're gay" (followed by some other derogatory comments)
Me: (trying to be civil and muffle my friend): "thats cool, you should try some longer skis, you'll find them to be more stable, you can still spin 360s on 177s"
FB: "i don't speak that language, but they are cool"
Me: "I guess if you're into rollerblading"
Kid: DEAD SILENT for rest of time in line

Once back on the lift, my friend responded, "wow you were way nicer than I would've been".

**uglymoney** · 01-14-2009, 09:44 AM

At Mammoth this weekend the snow was hard and the sky clear. The wind was light to nothing at the bottom and raging at between 30-60 at the top causing some minor snow plumes. Wife was eating at the bottom of Chair 2 when she heard the woman next to her telling someone that they must be making snow at the top of the mountain.