Does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lexi-Bell
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Does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lexi-Bell
thank you sir!
Everything around a pigs ass isnt pork.
Ms. Smarty's description of Elenor Cliff: She has a newspaper voice and a radio face.
She's generally not that funny, but I laugh whenever she says that one.
-Smarty
Sweating like a 2 dollar Tijuana whore.
i bet that chick could suck the chrome off a bumper
happier than a puppy with two peckers
'bout as useless as a screen door on a submarine
funnier than a rubber crutch
From a Wolf Creek lifty after his run on a big powder day: "I'm Happier'n a pup with two peters!"
edit: Damn, beat to the punch by minutes in a weeks old thread!
Here in SLC I'm always amused at the Mormons' non-profane bastardizations of common off color euphemisms and other squeeky clean sayings. This one's gold: "Nuttier than squirrel turds."
I love these things.
Sweatin' like a whore in church.
Straighter than a preacher's dick.
Cleaner than a preacher's sheets.
Hotter than two mice fucking in a wool sock.
So hard it's like trying to shit in a pop bottle.
More fucked up than a football bat.
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.
He's a little light in the loafers.
Sharp as a spoon.
Sharpest tool in the shed.
She acts like her shit's ice cream and there ain't enough spoons to go around.
A few fries short of a happy meal.
Can't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Not all his sheep are accounted for.
Growing up in the south, I've heard tons of these. Here are a few lesser known ones...
I'm as full as a tick.
I'm so mad I could eat bowling balls and poop bb's.
she's crazier (more pissed off) than a kicked ant hill.
He's madder than a bull pissing on an electric fence.
He's as ugly as a mud fence.
He lies more than a no legged dog.
That guy is more crooked than a dog's hind leg.
He's as crazy as a peach orchard boar.
That guy thinks he knows more than a New York Lawyer.
He's faster than green grass through a goose.
I'm so hungry I could eat the south end of a northbound polecat (skunk).
She's as ugly as shit on a stick.
He's madder (meaner) than a couple of tom cats in a gunny sack.
Looks like shit on a white chicken.
Didn't i see that in a movie? Something about 2 girls and 1 cup.Quote:
Originally Posted by splat
If she had to haul ass out of a house fire it would take her two trips.
That might be the one of the only good ones in this whole thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by chucknuggin
Kinda suprising how un-funny all of these are. You'd think there would be a lot more knee slappers.
That State Fair one was funny too.
An ostrich as an avitar? Witherspoon?Quote:
Originally Posted by HD333
Some funny ones in here so far; the state fair one had me laughing pretty good...
.
I wouldn't fuck her with your dick.
From my grandpa -
"Son, when I want your opinion I'll tell you what it is."
From my uncle-
"Fucking a stewardess is like being too lazy to masturbate."
From my Dad-
"It's hard to soar with the eagles, when you're stuck working with turkeys."
...or 'couldn't organize a shag in a brothel'Quote:
Originally Posted by pisteoff
is the pope a catholic?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lexi-Bell
Does the pope shit in the woods?
harder than a priest in a playground
swole up like a honeymoon peter
gayer than 10 dudes sucking 9 dicks
Kicks harder than a three-legged ninja.
Busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.
Like throwin' a hot dog down a hallway.
Slicker than cum on a gold-tooth...
Fuck me to tears...
EDIT: Page Topper...WHEEEEEWWWW!!!...Shredfest!