"That ______ is so weak it couldn't pull a limp dick out of a bowl of pudding."
Having not placed my limp dick in a bowl of pudding, I am unsure of the force that requires.
Results 76 to 100 of 129
Thread: Your Favorite Euphemisms
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09-20-2011, 04:23 PM #76
Registered User
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- Colorado
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- 911
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09-20-2011, 06:26 PM #77
Drink Up & Be Somebody
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- May 2009
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- Hooterville, CO
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- 11
Hornier (or happier)than a two-dicked dog.
I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on him if he was on fire.
Variation, I wouldn't piss in his eye socket if his brain was on fire.
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09-20-2011, 07:40 PM #78
Registered User
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- Nov 2006
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- Rapid City
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- 65
Working with you guys is like herding drunk cats
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09-20-2011, 09:11 PM #79
Registered User
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- Oct 2003
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- 96
After it is all said and done usually there is more said.
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09-20-2011, 09:23 PM #80
mack
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- Apr 2006
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- Cornvalley
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- 293
Smells so bad it could knock buzzard off a shit wagon
Tighter than a duck's ass, and that's waterproof
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09-20-2011, 11:10 PM #81
Well, In My Day . . .
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- Nov 2004
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- WAIDMTBC
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- 461
"He's a pretty good turd if you like shit."
"He's dumber than a bag of hammers" (showed up on O' Brother Where Art Thou too!)
"That girl's been whupped with the ugly stick."
"Not callin' you a liar; just doubtin' your word."You have to let other people be right. It consoles them for not being anything else. -- Andre Gide
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09-21-2011, 01:08 AM #82
OUR MAN IN GREENWATER
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- Feb 2008
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- Crystal Mountain backcountry, WA
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- 1,359
She could kick start a 747.
She could suck a tennis ball through a hose.
Bring tears to a glass eye.TGR Bureau Chief, Greenwater, WA
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09-21-2011, 01:28 AM #83
Excitable Boy
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- Dec 2005
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- Seattle
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- 6,009
"That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball."
"That boy's as strong as an ox, and just about as smart."
-Foghorn Leghorn...Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain...
"I enjoy skinny skiing, bullfights on acid..." - Lacy Underalls
The problems we face will not be solved by the minds that created them.
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09-21-2011, 08:20 AM #84
over rotated
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- Dec 2007
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- Hell Track
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- 14,960
alternative: she fell down the ugly tree and hit every branch
Originally Posted by lingcod
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09-21-2011, 08:28 AM #85
truckin'
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- Dec 2006
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- crown of the continent
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- 13,947
about as useful as a football bat.
Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.
Patterson Hood of the DBT's
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09-21-2011, 09:52 AM #86
OUR MAN IN GREENWATER
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
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- Crystal Mountain backcountry, WA
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- 1,359
About as useful as a chocolate teapot!
About as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike!TGR Bureau Chief, Greenwater, WA
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09-21-2011, 10:17 AM #87
Unruly Peasant
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- May 2007
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- A wretched hive of scum and villainy
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- 1,958
About as useful as a bedpan in a morgue.
"...no hobby should either seek or need rational justification. To find reasons why it is useful or beneficial converts it at once from an avocation into an industry, lowers it at once to the ignominious category of an exercise undertaken for health, power or profit."
-Aldo Leopold
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09-21-2011, 10:41 AM #88
my brain hurts
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- Feb 2006
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- you can sleep in a car but you can't drive a house
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- 279
It may not be long, but it sure is skinny
I'll beat you like a sunday morning hard-on.
That's it for me, I'm off like a Jewish foreskin.
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09-21-2011, 10:47 AM #89
Rivah Rat
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- Mar 2008
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- In my mind, Northern New England
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- 480
Like herding cats = phrase most often used by lifties Originally Posted by Garydog
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09-21-2011, 11:10 AM #90
Still a Pinhead
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- Feb 2008
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- 5,720
that kid blocks like a soup sandwich (overheard at youth football practice)
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09-21-2011, 11:20 AM #91
Registered User
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- WV
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- 207
Dumber than a jong in teh padded room
I've been to two state fairs and a goat fuck and never seen anything like this
That's tighter than a bools ass streched over a rain barrell
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09-21-2011, 11:28 AM #92
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- Mar 2008
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- the ham
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- 14,079
There's a Brit at work who says our company "couldn't organize a piss-up at a brewery".
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09-23-2011, 05:04 AM #93
Registered User
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- Apr 2009
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- 689
some more, thanks dad.
number than a pounded thumb
hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire
dry as a popcorn fart in a skillet
about as happy as a queer holding a hot dog
cold as a miner's ass in the klondike
useless as tits on a bull
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09-23-2011, 05:35 AM #94
Registered User
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- Nov 2008
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- 64
sweating like a rapist
more tow than a roman sandal
sticks like shit to the blanket
dry as a nuns cunt
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09-23-2011, 01:09 PM #95
charge on jong
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- Sep 2010
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- Golden, BC
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- 766
He's one Discovery Channel documentary away from being a genius.
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09-23-2011, 01:41 PM #96
my brain hurts
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
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- you can sleep in a car but you can't drive a house
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- 279
shit, I'd never get that out cleanly - too many words. Originally Posted by goldenshowers
She's as sharp as a cotton ball.
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09-23-2011, 01:45 PM #97
d00d
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- Jan 2006
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- river city
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- 2,203
Rainin harder than two cows pissin on a flat rock
Finer than frogs hair split four ways
Lower than a well-digger's asshole
Slower than molasses in January goin uphill
So hungry I could eat the ass-end out of a skunk and ask for seconds
Also to answer a question in the affirmative:
Does a bear shit in the woods? Is a frog's ass water-tight? Is a pig's pussy pork? Does howdy-doody got wood balls?
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09-23-2011, 01:51 PM #98
Funky But Chic
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- Sep 2001
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- The Cone of Uncertainty
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- 49,302
Two of my faves were from the same kinda Italian-looking guy at the same high school football game, talking about the same QB.
The first one was: "That fuggin' kid's got an arm like a leg."
Second, later on: "That kid's got an arm like a fuggin' eggplant."
I never really figured out the second one exactly, but I think it means he has a really good arm (he did - the kid was phenomenal).
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09-23-2011, 02:14 PM #99
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- Apr 2009
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- six 1 seven
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A good one where you can use for any place you dislike:
"(enter town/state/area), where the men are men, the women are men, and the sheep are scared"
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09-23-2011, 02:24 PM #100
Core before core was cool
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- On Vacation for the Duration
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- 14,417
As said to me by a full timer at my summer college job with the town sanitation department:
"It may be shit to you, but to me it's bread and butter"
I was a college summertime job dickhead and deserved worse.A few people feel the rain. Most people just get wet.
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