friday game: stupid things said to you by non-skiers/riders

[Altaholic]

must give a bump to this classic thread

[KansasBoarder]

My high school had TV's in every classroom. Contrary to what a logical person might think, these TV's served as little more than expensive clocks - as in 99% of the time they simply showed the current time.

Now, I just so happened to be wandering through the halls of my alma matter during a debate tournament when I heard (an obvious snowblader) turn to one of his friends and say:

"Man, you noticed all them clocks 'round here look like TV's?"

Holy. Shit.

[doublediamond223]

That is totally irrelevant, and not that funny.

[twist303]

One I get far too often, or some variation of:
"Black people ski?"

and this priceless one during an NBS summit in Keystone, from ski patrol:
"The Brotherhood has no business in the Outback"

Lame. That was my first and last season as a liftie at keystone. The NBS summit was some of the most fun i've had in a ski town, i was wasted the whole week. As a liftie i had tons of stupid coments but only a few stick out.

Guest: Where does all the white go when the snow melts? Because all water is clear.
Me: to the river for white water rafting.

after picking up same guest 3 times from the top ramp of the lift says
"wow you really expect us to know what we're doing up here"

me to guest during evening grooming: you can't go that way they're bringing snow cats up that trail
guest: SNOW CATS are they in cages?
me: no snow cats are the groming machines

[Jumper Bones]

"Skiing isn't a sport, it's a recreational activity. All you do is sit there and ride a lift up and slide down a little at a time, you never get your heart up or sweat"

this coming from a die-hard southern that stays home to watch NASCAR races every Sunday.

[powski3]

"why do you have to turn"
"how do you stop"

[Adamantium]

growing up in southern California, i got real tired of hearing how lame i was for skiing when snowboarding was clearly "so much better."

[ak_powder_monkey]

One time I decided to go get some september turns I see these people I know who had just gone for a hike where I was going we nod and say hi and I walk off towards the white and the mom turns to her son and goes, very seriously "He's gonna die isn't he?" I almost did lol

[BushwackerinPA]

before I started to post over here alot. I posted a TR about me hiking for turn over on epic. some people are really niave. I skied on Oct 25, and this guy thought they opened the slopes. I laughed

I had no idea that they got enough snow to open some slopes. Actually, when I heard it was snowing there, I guessed it would probably melt very quickly and not permit them to open some slopes. You lucky dog!

http://forums.epicski.com/showpost.p...06&postcount=4

[evolution_star]

A friend of mine in high school "Winters Gay"

[agentorange]

Although they were a rider, this is still a good one. Riding on a lift with someone I made smalltalk with in the lift line, seeing a tele skier zip below:

him: "what kind of ski is that?"
me: "telemark"
him: "oh, i've seen that before. I just thought those skiers just didn't put their bindings on right"

[EstoBum]

in the gila monster parking lot (taos) a group of texans are standing around...one says "myyyy feeeeet hurt." i look down and notice his boots are on the wrong feet.

classic.

Actually went skiing with some neighbors. One of the guys says he's going to call it a day early cause his feet hurt. We look down and notice he's got the boots on the wrong feet. Skied about 1/2 the day like that.

And two winters ago, got about 3 feet over night. After driving to work and finding an unplowed parking lot, decide to head to the local ski resort. Half way there the radio announces that the "ski resort is closed for the day because they don't want people driving in this weather and not to worry, the runs will be groomed and open for the next day"

[SoCalTele]

"why are your skis so wide and turned up in the back?"

[RagDoll]

i'm calling it: best one on this thread, hands down. Riding pipe in wisconsin, I hear the following yelled from the chair by a 12 year old jeans n starter jacket wearin cheese eater--

"HEY MAW! LOOK ET THEM KIDS DOWN THAR IN THE TRICK DITCH!!!"

[RagDoll]

oh also, lest I forget. posted this one in another thread--Wanted to mount my bindings at the local shop, which I was also applying to work for.

Me: OK so I'll just bring my bindings in next week to mount 'em up.

Beater Shop Owner: Ok, then, but if you're going to work here there's something you should know. We don't MOUNT skis here. MOUNTING is what we do to horses and women. We INSTALL bindings here.

I kept my mouth shut. Need a little ski tech experience before I get the hell outta Chicago, and this is the only shop here. FUCK!

[Alek]

Although they were a rider, this is still a good one. Riding on a lift with someone I made smalltalk with in the lift line, seeing a tele skier zip below:

him: "what kind of ski is that?"
me: "telemark"
him: "oh, i've seen that before. I just thought those skiers just didn't put the right bindings on"

I still think that!

[Stymie]

re-post:

"Finally, tonight, the Winter Games. Count me among those who don’t like them and won’t watch them ... Because they’re so trying, maybe over the next three weeks we should all try too. Like, try not to be incredulous when someone attempts to link these games to those of the ancient Greeks who never heard of skating or skiing. So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world’s greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the Winter Games look like a GOP convention. Try not to point out that something’s not really a sport if a pseudo-athlete waits in what’s called a kiss-and-cry area, while some panel of subjective judges decides who won ... So if only to hasten the arrival of the day they’re done, when we can move on to March Madness — for God’s sake, let the games begin."

-Bryant Gumbel

[willywhit]

Try riding one of these and brace yourself for stoopid questions in the lift line .That's half the reason I'm going back to skiing half the time.

[jxb]

"The skiing was terrible! It was cold and snowy all day"

"I wish it would quit snowing, I came here to ski!"


And from a skiier who strayed off the groomed green run and into the 4 inches of new powder:

"This is too fluffy! Get me the hell out of here!"

[Cono Este]

This is sooooo easy.

"This place aint so bad, we do have a ski resort ya knaow"

[telepariah]

Heard as a bunch of people streaked mid-Vail in the 70s.
Whiny woman with NY accent: "Get me ooaf of this mountain, NOW!"

Gaper in RMNP: Y'all didn't go skiing.
Me: Yea we did.
Gaper: There ain't no snow. Where did you ski?
Me: See that glacier up there?
Gaper: That ain't snow. That's SALT!

My co-worker last Friday: Don't you worry about getting lost?
Me: I know where I'm going.

I went a mile and a half up the wrong valley yesterday.

[rometheworld]

"where do you store the moguls in the summer"

[BushwackerinPA]

"where do you store the moguls in the summer"

so over played in this thread JONG.

[Phill]

Okay its not a friday but this thread is classic. It has basically turned into funniest/stupidest things said by gapers.

so bizzump to the top

[DukeBest]

"at what altitude do the deer turn into elk?"