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Thread: I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

  1. #7451
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    If I'm gonna to to effort of cooking, I sure as shit ain't gonna make "bread and jizz"

  2. #7452
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    Dec 2012
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    I can still smell Poutine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I'm gonna to to effort of cooking, I sure as shit ain't gonna make "bread and jizz"
    If I am reading this thread correctly, bread and jizz is what mom's like.

  3. #7453
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    Sep 2010
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    54th anniversary today and the wife said not to get her anything. HA!! I'm not falling into that trap. Went out and got her a card a flowers and gave them to her at noon so I could make my 5pm tee time.
    Seeker of Truth. Dispenser of Wisdom. Protector of the Weak. Avenger of Evil.

  4. #7454
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    Oct 2003
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    Not to add fuel to the toast/mayonnaise debate, but slathering hamburger buns with mayo and then toasting them on the grill before the burgers come off is the only way to go.

  5. #7455
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    Smart man.

    of course, it might have taken you the better part of a half century to get there, but hey. all that counts is that youre there

    In wife-speak "don't get me anything" translates directly to "definitely get me something"

  6. #7456
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    Dec 2016
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    In a van... down by the river
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    Quote Originally Posted by zion zig zag View Post
    Not to add fuel to the toast/mayonnaise debate, but slathering hamburger buns with mayo and then toasting them on the grill before the burgers come off is the only way to go.
    Have you tried Veganaise?


  7. #7457
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diamond Joe View Post
    In wife-speak "don't get me anything" translates directly to "definitely get me something"
    No it doesn't. It translates into, "you already forgot this was coming up, so here dumbass is a get out of jail card, eat me later".
    Is it radix panax notoginseng? - splat
    This is like hanging yourself but the rope breaks. - DTM
    Dude Listen to mtm. He's a marriage counselor at burning man. - subtle plague

  8. #7458
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    Jan 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by riser4 View Post
    If I am reading this thread correctly, bread and jizz is what mom's like.
    An amusing example of how incorrect apostrophe usage changes the meaning dramatically.

  9. #7459
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    I can still smell Poutine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by frorider View Post
    An amusing example of how incorrect apostrophe usage changes the meaning dramatically.
    Your welcome.

  10. #7460
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    Oct 2003
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    closer
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    Quote Originally Posted by riser4 View Post
    Your welcome.
    Their is the effort i abbreviate.
    It's a war of the mind and we're armed to the teeth.

  11. #7461
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    Quote Originally Posted by zion zig zag View Post
    Not to add fuel to the toast/mayonnaise debate, but slathering hamburger buns with mayo and then toasting them on the grill before the burgers come off is the only way to go.
    Kewpie Mayo.

  12. #7462
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    May 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by zion zig zag View Post
    Not to add fuel to the toast/mayonnaise debate, but slathering hamburger buns with mayo and then toasting them on the grill before the burgers come off is the only way to go.
    That’s fine… butter is better.

  13. #7463
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    Jan 2017
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    nyt lays out the loading rules once and for all…

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/home/...-a-dishwasher/


    facts.

  14. #7464
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    Sep 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by m2711c View Post
    nyt lays out the loading rules once and for all…

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/home/...-a-dishwasher/


    facts.
    NYT?

    Not a fact
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

  15. #7465
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    Feb 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by m2711c View Post
    nyt lays out the loading rules once and for all…

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/home/...-a-dishwasher/


    facts.
    Can’t read it but already know it’s wrong. Article written by couple of broads. .


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  16. #7466
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    Feb 2005
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    I love those articles, especially from The Times, on domestic issues such as dishwasher loading. I also got to catch up on some Miss Manners without hitting the pay wall. Bonus.

  17. #7467
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    12,290
    Was in an enduro bike race and on a technical downhill I lost all front brake power. I rode it out using only my rear brake.

    After that section was over I saw that my front brake pads had fallen out. WTF?

    So I called my wife and asked her to meet me on the course with a new set of pads (had to ride the second timed section without front brakes but fortunately it was more XC) style riding)

    Later in the race I’m cruising along and lose all power in rear brakes. Stop and check - yep the pads had fallen out.

    Then I realized the problem - the last person to bleed my brakes didn’t install the pins back in.

    The person who bled my brakes was my wife.

    Is this a ploy to get my life insurance?

    Am I allowed to complain that she bled my brakes (which is nice) but didn’t finish the job?

    Fortunately no wipeouts occurred and no bones were broken. We laughed about it - but I’m sleeping with one eye open for the next bit.

  18. #7468
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
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    Quote Originally Posted by bennymac View Post
    Was in an enduro bike race and on a technical downhill I lost all front brake power. I rode it out using only my rear brake.

    After that section was over I saw that my front brake pads had fallen out. WTF?

    So I called my wife and asked her to meet me on the course with a new set of pads (had to ride the second timed section without front brakes but fortunately it was more XC) style riding)

    Later in the race I’m cruising along and lose all power in rear brakes. Stop and check - yep the pads had fallen out.

    Then I realized the problem - the last person to bleed my brakes didn’t install the pins back in.

    The person who bled my brakes was my wife.

    Is this a ploy to get my life insurance?

    Am I allowed to complain that she bled my brakes (which is nice) but didn’t finish the job?

    Fortunately no wipeouts occurred and no bones were broken. We laughed about it - but I’m sleeping with one eye open for the next bit.
    You have a wife who not only knows how to bleed brakes, but actually bleeds yours for you as well?

    Holy shit.

  19. #7469
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    Jan 2017
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    on the banks of Fish Creek
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    You should check to see if your life insurance payout has been increased lately…

    maybe hire a food taster?

  20. #7470
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong View Post
    You have a wife who not only knows how to bleed brakes, but actually bleeds yours for you as well?

    Holy shit.
    Right?!?!
    I mean it’s prolly 10 minutes to just tell Mrs. P where they are, then what they look like, then which ones…etc.
    Also:Click image for larger version. 

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    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  21. #7471
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    2,032
    Quote Originally Posted by bennymac View Post
    Was in an enduro bike race and on a technical downhill I lost all front brake power. I rode it out using only my rear brake.

    After that section was over I saw that my front brake pads had fallen out. WTF?

    So I called my wife and asked her to meet me on the course with a new set of pads (had to ride the second timed section without front brakes but fortunately it was more XC) style riding)

    Later in the race I’m cruising along and lose all power in rear brakes. Stop and check - yep the pads had fallen out.

    Then I realized the problem - the last person to bleed my brakes didn’t install the pins back in.

    The person who bled my brakes was my wife.

    Is this a ploy to get my life insurance?

    Am I allowed to complain that she bled my brakes (which is nice) but didn’t finish the job?

    Fortunately no wipeouts occurred and no bones were broken. We laughed about it - but I’m sleeping with one eye open for the next bit.
    If you are racing or doing down hill and somebody other than yourself works on your bike then you need to make sure everything is 100% before you leave. It doesn't matter if it's your wife or a paid shop tech. It's your bike. It's your race. It's your skeleton.

  22. #7472
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    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    Can’t read it but already know it’s wrong. Article written by couple of broads. .


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Plug the URL in here: https://archive.ph/

  23. #7473
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    12,290

    I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

    Quote Originally Posted by halliday View Post
    If you are racing or doing down hill and somebody other than yourself works on your bike then you need to make sure everything is 100% before you leave. It doesn't matter if it's your wife or a paid shop tech. It's your bike. It's your race. It's your skeleton.
    Maybe it’s not coming across in my post but I’m telling this story to laugh about it. I’m not actually blaming my wife. Yes thanks Dad - I know it’s my responsibility.

  24. #7474
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    Quote Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong View Post
    You have a wife who not only knows how to bleed brakes, but actually bleeds yours for you as well?

    Holy shit.
    This

  25. #7475
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by bennymac View Post
    Maybe it’s not coming across in my post but I’m telling this story to laugh about it. I’m not actually blaming my wife. Yes thanks Dad - I know it’s my responsibility.
    I didn't hear the humor in your post. Or maybe I didn't listen for it out of anger/confusion on somebody forgetting to pin the brake pads. Either way of your good with it Im good with it.

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