About to turn 50 and am too tired to continue

[byates1]

Buzz literally fuck those guys. You are above the assholes. Stay strong. I appreciate your posts here.

Well maybe not literally but hey who are we to judge

[riser4]

fuck Walmart… fact.

You live right near all them fancy assed ski areas, they’re always looking for workers. You should look at being a control room operator for the snowmaking department. No on hill work involved in that shit. You sit at a computer and use intellution scada software to turn on and off pumps and compressors. You’ll log the guns that are on and off as the guys called them and over the radio. And that’s pretty much your night. Oh, and you do want the night shift so you can ski all day.



You’re welcome.

I speak computer.

[riser4]

I'm fairly certain that Shera has met people who have met Peruvian.

Cool. Three degrees!

[MarsB]

I speak computer.

Ticket office isn't a bad gig for that either. I did that for a few years after moving to Utah before reviving my career and had a blast.

[stuckathuntermtn]

Buddy of mine retired from a desk job with state government and switched to pouring beers at a local brewery a few evenings a week. He seems quite happy.

Those jobs can actually be quite hard to get. I think here in Missoula, a beer pourer basically has to die for there to be an opening at a brewery/tap room.
Also, some of those state jobs. You have to be tremendously (over)qualified.

[Buzzworthy]

Event staff for concerts and sporting events?

[gravitylover]

Riser, what kind of computerspeak? I need someone to do some stuff for my (very) small biz.

[XXX-er]

you don' t necessarily need to find " the job " if you can find " the jobs " so a number of jobs the hrs of which add up to whatever you need which is kind of how it is in the small town where businesses are often too small to offer you the job, also if you lose one of 5 jobs no worries just get another one. I was talking to a bro on main street who had 5 jobs one for each day and so he asked what day it was ... yeah gotta go and do the tuesday job, he eventually did get the good government gig

I did a number of ski bum type jobs which got me in pretty good shape TO ski but no more computers

[Meadow Skipper]

After I retired from wildfire I had a bunch of jobs, mostly fun and/or interesting: landscaping (for Forrest Fenn), outdoor shop (learned to mount skis and enjoy shop deals), movie extra, and pro patrol. Pretty good times, now I fly fish, free ski, garden, ride my motorcycle, and travel. Shit like that.

Recommended.

[shera]

Cool. Three degrees!

Ha, ok!

[ticketchecker]

I'm fairly certain that Shera has met people who have met Peruvian.

I’ve met the one called Peruvian


Sent from the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen

[riser4]

I’ve met the one called Peruvian


Sent from the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen

Two degrees!

[fastfred]

Waking up to another day, yeah it must be nice if your one of those people who thinks every day is going to be great. I try, sometimes it doesn’t click. I should be working by now, I should be something, I took my phone with me for the dog walk at seven fifteen, because someone will call me, someone will need me. Can’t miss a beat.

The cool mountain air, the smell of wet sage, that might be the win this morning. I cry and complain about my shitty job, everyone, I mean everyone tells me how much I love it. Nothing to give but a snarl and maybe an internal acknowledgment that they might be right.

Like most mornings, I pass my neighbor on her dog walk. Smoking her spliff like normal, that sweet smell of marijuana in the morning. Fred is a pot head fun guy, I’m not. I can’t smoke weed anymore, I can do edibles when the time permits but that’s rare. Waking up around four am this morning and coughing for a half hour until I can relax and breath again is humbling. For decades as most people crashed their bodies into a brick wall after high school I was able to build on my fitness. It became the one thing I was proud of, smashing shit on skis, on a bike, moving quickly up and over mountains. Then god fucked me over and cursed me. My health continues to decline and maintain. It’s a battle between my body, working too much, and not spending or having the time to do all the fun stuff I want in life. Or just being obliterated on the couch exhausted.

All through my twenties and early thirties I did everything I could to rebel against the status quo. Made some good decisions made some real bad decisions. Then for some reason I thought I could be better than everyone else, boy that was stupid. But I ended up proving I was. I hated my father because of his obsession with money and cars. Here I am obsessed with money and cars after fighting against it forever.

The kicker is I’m lucky to be able to walk away. I could reboot my life if I really wanted too. It’s almost like I’m too scared, the comfort I have, the ease of everyday living that some people want, the prime location people drool over and fantasize about, I have it. But sometimes it doesn’t feel like much, I climbed the mountain but now what?

Honestly, my life is one big vacation in a way. I’ve crafted 8-10 weeks off a year, lots of travel. I suppose that’s not normal, but it’s hard to realize the gift I have when all this other bullshit seems to be in the way.

All these goals, all this self improvement I work on or dream about working on. It seems like a bitch, sometimes when I am in one of my snarky moods I figure it’s all bullshit and there is no point. I’ve been given an expiration date, the idea of living to sixty seems pretty far fetched. On the other hand due to modern medicine I could live to be eighty. I just don’t want to be the drooling in a wheel chair propped up bag of shit eighty years old.

My ex wife has been trying to kill herself for years and years. It was tough to be part of that and once we separated the insanity escalated on her part. Her partner more or less killed himself a few months ago (long complicated story) the last conversation we had a month or so after his death was so dark and full of misery. The alcohol fueled chaos they both existed in. The obligatory holding a gun to your head in a fit of total madness. My brother has sever mental health issues, over his lifetime he has shuffled between being very successful, to being homeless, to prison, to being cared for by others. His “rap sheet” has to fill a binder, he’s not a bad person at all, every charge is due to alcoholism, crack cocaine, and refusal to acknowledge his mental health needs. To just listen to people and not judge and ask personal questions…….. everyone will open up if you listen. The stories these two have told me are next level. Things that I can’t comprehend in my whinny entitled bubble that I live in.

I’m an hour late for work now. Somedays if feels like groundhog day.

[m2711c]

upstate is waiting for ya man.

[riser4]

upstate is waiting for ya man.

I dunno. It's pretty bleak upstate. How much more of that can a guy take?

[m2711c]

you just sound jealous…

[Core Shot]

Vibes Freddy.
Hang in there. We all love your stories. And goof on you sometime.
. But that was a heavy read. I feel your pain. Not all of it. But the grind.
Is this all there is?

[skaredshtles]

[XXX-er]

After I retired from wildfire I had a bunch of jobs, mostly fun and/or interesting: landscaping (for Forrest Fenn), outdoor shop (learned to mount skis and enjoy shop deals), movie extra, and pro patrol. Pretty good times, now I fly fish, free ski, garden, ride my motorcycle, and travel. Shit like that.

Recommended.

yeah duno what wildfire was like but IME after 30 yrs of the corporate world I was right fucked and I'm gona say it took 4 years to unwind it with the odd jobs, skiing, paddling, bike,

I always say the corporate gig was like the rodeo, get on, hang on, ride to the bell and there was a whole lot of bull inbetween

[m2711c]

fact.

[riser4]

I always say the corporate gig was like the rodeo, get on, hang on, ride to the bell and there was a whole lot of bull inbetween

I can't disagree.

[Core Shot]

If only I had a spare $14 million in gold lying around I could move to smoot Wyoming. Population 195

https://cowboystatedaily.com/2024/07...-wyoming-home/

[byates1]

As a small goldbug, yeah you'd want to not keep 14 fucking million in physical gold in your house. This is not financial advice

[skaredshtles]

As a small goldbug, yeah you'd want to not keep 14 fucking million in physical gold in your house. This is not financial advice

But you know... where are ya gonna put it?

[Meadow Skipper]

yeah duno what wildfire was like but IME after 30 yrs of the corporate world I was right fucked and I'm gona say it took 4 years to unwind it with the odd jobs, skiing, paddling, bike,

I’m guessing that most any employment gig would get pretty fucking old after 30 years. I was in fire for 32 years and split the moment I paid off my mortgage.