Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[californiagrown]

Interested to hear answers on this as well. What’s your definition of kid friendly?

And also do you need a developed campground, or is dispersed camping fine?


Darrington has dispersed camp sites, and the skills park at the bottom for the kiddo. Teanaway and stuff on the eastside of the crest has campgrounds interspersed throughout the trail systems (just zoom into the trail system on trailforks and look for the campground icon).

[SchralphMacchio]

Where in the greater PNW area have you found decent camping very close (pedaling distance) to decent mtb trails, including easier, kid friendly ones? Actually I’m curious to hear of spots outside the PNW as well. In my limited experience, most of the good trails systems with both short and long loops do not tend to have camping very close.

In OR it’s really, really hard to beat Phil’s in Bend. Mostly flat and easy trails right from camp, large kid friendly pump track, lots of dispersed camping, fun town and better grown up trails a short drive away, plus lakes creeks and waterfalls.

TransCascadia Excursions has been working on getting approval for a developed campground on their property in Westfir OR, which is across the street from a small pumptrack, playground, picnic area and bottom of the North Fork and Alpine trails - and would be a holy grail for family camping where parents can shuttle and take turns entertaining the little(s). If that ever happens of course. Nearby one can also camp along Salmon Creek which has a kid friendly trail and is near the bottom of Dead Mountain Trail, though the dispersed areas would be sharing the camp sites with meth addicts, it’s just really unfortunate how trashy dispersed camping near Oakridge has become.

Coos County is supposedly working on a CG at Whiskey Run, that would be awesome.

There are multiple developed CGs along the MRT and NUT trails in Oregon. Waterfalls along each and flatter segments lower down the river that kids can ride. Not super kid friendly, but perhaps enough to meet the bare minimum?

I’d love to take the fam to Darrington some time.

[alpinevibes]

Winthrop and McCall both have decent trail options and camping in relative proximity.


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[bfree]

"Waterfalls along each and flatter segments lower down the river that kids can ride. Not super kid friendly, but perhaps enough to meet the bare minimum"

Buck Creek CG/Ranger airstrip falls in that category too. Tons of space for kids to ride, and many parts of the Skookum Flats trail are kid rideable, but it also has some sections that are less friendly. Trail options galore for the adults.

[Duffman]

This was my immediate thought.

Anxiously awaiting to get my lil dude on the back of our e-cargo bike in a Thule seat. But pediatrician says at least 2-3 more months.

As an avid shotgun seat user, def 2.5 years. The Yepp Mini works well for younger kids , but even then they need the neck strength to support their heads .

The shotgun was the best though as they get a little older. My daughter and I had so many fun rides on it. I have one for sale now I guess since.shes unfortunately aged out of it

[Dromond]

Interested to hear answers on this as well. What’s your definition of kid friendly?
Larabee was perfect for a toddler who napped since the nap and a double down lap took the same time.

I’m guessing you were in an RV to be shielded from the occasional train noise, right? I love that area but have always been a little afraid to camp due to the train.

And also do you need a developed campground, or is dispersed camping fine?


Darrington has dispersed camp sites, and the skills park at the bottom for the kiddo. Teanaway and stuff on the eastside of the crest has campgrounds interspersed throughout the trail systems (just zoom into the trail system on trailforks and look for the campground icon).

I’d never considered Darrington so thanks for the idea. Teanaway crossed my mind and I will look into that.

In OR it’s really, really hard to beat Phil’s in Bend. Mostly flat and easy trails right from camp, large kid friendly pump track, lots of dispersed camping, fun town and better grown up trails a short drive away, plus lakes creeks and waterfalls.

TransCascadia Excursions has been working on getting approval for a developed campground on their property in Westfir OR, which is across the street from a small pumptrack, playground, picnic area and bottom of the North Fork and Alpine trails - and would be a holy grail for family camping where parents can shuttle and take turns entertaining the little(s). If that ever happens of course. Nearby one can also camp along Salmon Creek which has a kid friendly trail and is near the bottom of Dead Mountain Trail, though the dispersed areas would be sharing the camp sites with meth addicts, it’s just really unfortunate how trashy dispersed camping near Oakridge has become.

Coos County is supposedly working on a CG at Whiskey Run, that would be awesome.

There are multiple developed CGs along the MRT and NUT trails in Oregon. Waterfalls along each and flatter segments lower down the river that kids can ride. Not super kid friendly, but perhaps enough to meet the bare minimum?

I’d love to take the fam to Darrington some time.

This might be a dumb question but is good dispersed camping easy to find around Phil’s? The whole Bend area is so busy now that I never really considered dispersed camping. We stayed a couple nights at Tumalo State Park last May and it was kind of noisy and not super great. Just OK. I’ve camped a few times at Salmon Creek - nice place. Agreed that a Westfir campground would be the holy grail!

"Waterfalls along each and flatter segments lower down the river that kids can ride. Not super kid friendly, but perhaps enough to meet the bare minimum"

Buck Creek CG/Ranger airstrip falls in that category too. Tons of space for kids to ride, and many parts of the Skookum Flats trail are kid rideable, but it also has some sections that are less friendly. Trail options galore for the adults.

I’ve ridden by there many times but will consider camping too. Thanks!

[carlh]

We camped at larabee in a trailer and the trains were not too bad. Ranger creek can get rowdy, we often go to the horse camp area instead of the airstrip for a smaller crowd.

[SchralphMacchio]

This might be a dumb question but is good dispersed camping easy to find around Phil’s? The whole Bend area is so busy now that I never really considered dispersed camping. We stayed a couple nights at Tumalo State Park last May and it was kind of noisy and not super great. Just OK.

Midweek, it is pretty easy, look at FS maps and satellite imagery and there are a decent number of camp spots near the Marvins Gardens trail. Weekends you may not get a primo spot, especially if needing to fit 2 vehicles is a requirement - maybe you end up too close to a site with folks drinking until the wee hours - or worst case end up camping in the Phils overflow lot which is a giant open level field where lots of people camp. Unlike Tumalo this is not close to a major highway, so the only noise is from rowdy groups.

[Mustonen]

My 17 year old son wants to spend the night at his girlfriend’s house on Sat night. He says her mom will be out of town and she (gf’s mom) told him she’d feel better if he spent the night there.

I can go to the work of validating all that if I feel like I need to. It’s a small enough town/area that won’t be that hard. So set that aside….

My initial reaction is “hell no.” And I realize that’s mostly reactive so I think about it more and still can’t rationalize myself to a “yes” that I feel good about. But I also am having a hard time clearly articulating why “no” is my decision.

The kid is pretty open that they’re sexually active. It’s not a new relationship. He’s reasonably responsible, for a 17yo. She’s on birth control. Etc etc. I still just can’t get there.

How much of that is hang up and how much of that is actually reasonable parenting?

[Upinsmoke]

When I 15/16 years old, I had a steady gf and we were sexually active. We tried to do a few sleepovers and my parents wouldn’t ever go for it. So I snuck out anyway. Ymmv

[The SnowShow]

Have you all run into the families who are ultra over-scheduled and almost seem proud or are smug about it? The ones whose kids are doing 2-3 team sports at the same time and their entire existence outside of school is practice and games? Weekdays are spent at multiple practices in different sports in different locations each night; weekends are spent going from one game in one sport to another game in another sport in a totally different location or traveling. Seems like a horrible existence but they act like this is the way and they’ll do anything for their kids and their kids love it so….

[Buzzworthy]

My 17 year old son wants to spend the night at his girlfriend’s house on Sat night. He says her mom will be out of town and she (gf’s mom) told him she’d feel better if he spent the night there.

I can go to the work of validating all that if I feel like I need to. It’s a small enough town/area that won’t be that hard. So set that aside….

My initial reaction is “hell no.” And I realize that’s mostly reactive so I think about it more and still can’t rationalize myself to a “yes” that I feel good about. But I also am having a hard time clearly articulating why “no” is my decision.

The kid is pretty open that they’re sexually active. It’s not a new relationship. He’s reasonably responsible, for a 17yo. She’s on birth control. Etc etc. I still just can’t get there.

How much of that is hang up and how much of that is actually reasonable parenting?

One year from officially being an adult and being responsible sexually, sounds Ike you did things right dad. Let it go. You’ll make his day too when you reluctantly say it’s ok.

[skaredshtles]

One year from officially being an adult and being responsible sexually, sounds Ike you did things right dad. Let it go. You’ll make his day too when you reluctantly say it’s ok.

I'm inclined to agree with this. You *might* confirm with the gf's mom that she *actually* said what he said she said.

[Mustonen]

Yeah, I’m getting there. Just hard to wrap my head around given my Uber conservative upbringing.

New developments indicate that this is a party that mom and gf are planning for him. If the birthday party present includes an empty house and her daughter, well…. That just seems weird and I’m struggling with how to feel about that too. It isn’t different in material ways, but it is….

[Mazderati]

Arrange a family movie night and show Kids.

[subtle plague]

Yeah, I’m getting there. Just hard to wrap my head around given my Uber conservative upbringing.

New developments indicate that this is a party that mom and gf are planning for him. If the birthday party present includes an empty house and her daughter, well…. That just seems weird and I’m struggling with how to feel about that too. It isn’t different in material ways, but it is….

Maybe the mother had a sexually über liberal upbringing? As long as he doesn't bring home kids or illnesses? Let him get the Party started. [emoji3]

[skaredshtles]

Maybe the mother had a sexually über liberal upbringing? As long as he doesn't bring home kids or illnesses? Let him get the Party started. [emoji3]

It's always good to get a non-repressed Euro-view of things like this.

[alpinevibes]

Have you all run into the families who are ultra over-scheduled and almost seem proud or are smug about it? The ones whose kids are doing 2-3 team sports at the same time and their entire existence outside of school is practice and games? Weekdays are spent at multiple practices in different sports in different locations each night; weekends are spent going from one game in one sport to another game in another sport in a totally different location or traveling. Seems like a horrible existence but they act like this is the way and they’ll do anything for their kids and their kids love it so….

Yes, for sure.

I see a lot of parallels with that attitude, here, with the seemingly endless desire from wealthy parents here to farm out their child rearing, parenting and general waking-hours responsibility to outside entities: schools, sports, after school activities - on top of the nannies that are already hired. Aspen and places like it are adult playgrounds but it's pretty sad to see the outcomes of kids who've been purposefully neglected by parents [with plenty means and time] because they want their own life and/or they think their child is better off with a fully-booked daily calendar.

[Mustonen]

Apparently not a fantastic or particularly stable home situation, which feels a lot like me just being judgmental.

Separating spidey sense gut intuition from unfair biases is a real bitch. And that probably tells me most of what I need to know. On to making sure mom really is ok with turning her home into a teenaged den of iniquity.

[alias_rice]

Have you all run into the families who are ultra over-scheduled and almost seem proud or are smug about it? The ones whose kids are doing 2-3 team sports at the same time and their entire existence outside of school is practice and games? Weekdays are spent at multiple practices in different sports in different locations each night; weekends are spent going from one game in one sport to another game in another sport in a totally different location or traveling. Seems like a horrible existence but they act like this is the way and they’ll do anything for their kids and their kids love it so….

I know a lot of them actually. Last year I started becoming one, as my life completely revolved around youth baseball from the middle of March through August. Like 6-7 days a week type stuff. By the end of last season, he had played in almost 60 games for his primary team and subbed in tournaments for another 4 teams. Throw in fall league and he probably played in 80 games over a 12 month period. The wife and I were getting burned out, the kid hurt his elbow and we all realized that it was insane, so this year we made some changes. I no longer coach and the kid no longer subs for different teams. So far spring has been significantly more balanced and peaceful, and the kid still plays plenty of ball. But there is no need for a 12 year old to be playing any sport everyday. It is surprisingly easy to fall into that rabbit hole though, especially when you have a kid who loves to play a sport you also love. Throw in the fact that you begin to be surrounded by parents that are all doing the same thing and it starts to seem normal. I carpool a lot with one of my son's baseball teammates for practice. This was a direct quote from a text yesterday discussing driving for practice last night. "I am at a game in Orem with K right now. L has a game in Bountiful at 6:00, and T has a double header at 4 and 6. Do you mind taking the boys and I can pick them up?" It made me happy to no longer be operating like that.

[skaredshtles]

Have you all run into the families who are ultra over-scheduled and almost seem proud or are smug about it? The ones whose kids are doing 2-3 team sports at the same time and their entire existence outside of school is practice and games? Weekdays are spent at multiple practices in different sports in different locations each night; weekends are spent going from one game in one sport to another game in another sport in a totally different location or traveling. Seems like a horrible existence but they act like this is the way and they’ll do anything for their kids and their kids love it so….

We did that when all 3 of our boys were in soccer when they were younger. But I was never proud or smug about it. It was a giant PITA.

Couldn't wait until they got into HS and all that shit was within walking distance.

[Danno]

I have one kid, and just the fact that she's playing middle school soccer AND club soccer right now is stressing me out.

[fatnslow]

Have you all run into the families who are ultra over-scheduled and almost seem proud or are smug about it? The ones whose kids are doing 2-3 team sports at the same time and their entire existence outside of school is practice and games? Weekdays are spent at multiple practices in different sports in different locations each night; weekends are spent going from one game in one sport to another game in another sport in a totally different location or traveling. Seems like a horrible existence but they act like this is the way and they’ll do anything for their kids and their kids love it so….

I was like you by openly mocking them and somehow became one of those over scheduled folks for about 5-6 years run with three kids.
I can't judge beyond if the kid's into it I let them guide the amount of commitment. It all worked out in the end because by the time high school rolled around each of my 3 picked their own path. I will say the experience of learning to schedule ones time from a young age with school being top priority helped my kids all the way into college. They all seem to be better time managers and disciplined students.
BOTH things I was not so good at when I was younger.
I will say some families definitely like to flaunt it as though it's some sort of social status thing and complete miopia with their kids real skill level at their sport(s). Tough to get a true assessment when the team coach is essentially your employer since usually its a pay to play sport these days.

[GimpToo]

Apparently not a fantastic or particularly stable home situation, which feels a lot like me just being judgmental.

Separating spidey sense gut intuition from unfair biases is a real bitch. And that probably tells me most of what I need to know. On to making sure mom really is ok with turning her home into a teenaged den of iniquity.

Think about if something happens, you could be responsible/liable, along with the mother, for giving permission!?!?

[ghosthop]

My 17 year old son wants to spend the night at his girlfriend’s house on Sat night. He says her mom will be out of town and she (gf’s mom) told him she’d feel better if he spent the night there.

I can go to the work of validating all that if I feel like I need to. It’s a small enough town/area that won’t be that hard. So set that aside….

My initial reaction is “hell no.” And I realize that’s mostly reactive so I think about it more and still can’t rationalize myself to a “yes” that I feel good about. But I also am having a hard time clearly articulating why “no” is my decision.

The kid is pretty open that they’re sexually active. It’s not a new relationship. He’s reasonably responsible, for a 17yo. She’s on birth control. Etc etc. I still just can’t get there.

How much of that is hang up and how much of that is actually reasonable parenting?

Super cool that your kid is honest with you. Regardless of the outcome, I think that's a win for you.