Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[yeahman]

Danno, wise words. With all the talk of kid rippers, it's important to remember that kids will take to skiing in varying degrees, and it can vary over time. Any one of us may end up with a kid that loves skiing, or we may have a kid that does not take to it. Gotta accept who they are and not make the kid miserable because of OUR ambitions for them to be a skier. Just roll with it and keep the pressure off. Teaching a kid to ski is a gift that lasts a lifetime. They may not appreciate it until many years later, maybe even after we're dead and gone. That's okay.

[Just Looking]

Danno had a similar thing occur with my daughter, ski racing led to basically being burnt out on the skiing thing. We skiied some after she gave it up, and she just wasn't enjoying it.
She took a job at the mountain ski school on weekends and holidays, mostly to earn some money. She was working with the program thats just above actual daycare, but essentially 5-7 year olds?. Pretty much advanced daycare to really teaching the kids who were more interested.
She did it for 3 years, getting to the point where she was taking the more advanced kids out on the mountain, some of whom, she'd been skiing with for 3 years at that point. She would come back from taking those kids around the mountain with stories of horror and pride , and sometimes some actual enjoyment.. She also went from not really skiing at all the first year, to actually taking a day off here or there to ski on her own. She now loves skiing. So much so she didnt work at the ski school during this winter so she could ski instead.
Maybe thats something that yours would be interested in.

[BmillsSkier]

I'll add a caution to the "skiing with my kid" and "my kid turned into a ripper" thoughts. It is fantastic and I am happy for all y'all. And I am not posting to shit on that at all, just to add a caution. Because some of you might discover, as I have, that the "success" on that front might be short lived. My kiddo was a ski racer for 5 years, and she got good at skiing, obviously (though I wished they did more freeskiing in trees and moguls, because she could do those things but not super fast/confidently, even though she could kick my butt at gates).

Well, this year she stopped ski racing, too much time and money commitment for all of us (her, my ex, me). And then she kinda lost interest in skiing entirely, which cut really deep for me, and lost all confidence in what she could do. I took her one day a couple of months ago and she was a bratty teenager the whole day, and our last run was down a mildly bumped blue/black, and she acted like it was terrifying, while kids nowhere near as good as her zoomed by. It was miserable, and for me really hurt, and I wasn't prepared to deal with that.

I have since recovered, lol, and have since taken her skiing where she actually had fun, but she's nowhere near the level she was at last year, in skill, aggressiveness, and desire. I'm hopeful that it comes back but I also have to accept that every human marches to the beat of their own drum. I can't make her ski, or enjoy skiing, I just have to give her the opportunities (and try to set up skiing with friends opportunities) and hope she rediscovers her love.

Danno, wise words. With all the talk of kid rippers, it's important to remember that kids will take to skiing in varying degrees, and it can vary over time. Any one of us may end up with a kid that loves skiing, or we may have a kid that does not take to it. Gotta accept who they are and not make the kid miserable because of OUR ambitions for them to be a skier. Just roll with it and keep the pressure off. Teaching a kid to ski is a gift that lasts a lifetime. They may not appreciate it until many years later, maybe even after we're dead and gone. That's okay.

I really appreciated both of these posts.

I should highlight that in my original post, the most important thing that I got out of this wonderful trip was: (a) just being present and witnessing my son's vast improvement and enthusiasm for ripping around (not even pulling out the phone to record!) was a gift in and of itself, and (b) my son told me that he loves doing this sport that he finds fun with me!, and that's the best gift of all.



Given obvious geographic restrictions my son won't have the ability to ski every day after school and every weekend for hours on end like I did (and that's OK), so I know he won't have the chance to fall into the grind/burnout parts of the sport that racing can bring; he can experience that through tennis like his old man did lol. I was his age when I quit ski racing and jumped to mogul competition and it was the best thing ever for my love of the sport and skiing ability because of one thing: it was fun. I'll try my best to make sure that if some activity stops being fun for him then I'll respect his decision to not pursue it anymore, even if I wish he had.

[Buzzworthy]

I was disappointed for years.

My only child never really like skiing. I wanted my daughter to share my passion. It never happened.

But, she’s going down the road to be like her mother instead, a doctor.

I am no longer disappointed in the least. I’m so damn proud of her.

[easyrdr]

I had my son on skis one day a season ages 3-6. Despite my best efforts he hated it. At 7 I had him out 3 times on the magic carpet, it wasn’t exactly what I’d call fun but wasn’t as bad either. This year, now 8, I got him on a chairlift by promising a waffle. He was scared but did it because he really wanted a waffle. Two laps in an hour and a half. Ear to ear grin at the end of the day. Now he asks to go skiing unprompted. Waffles are still our end of day treat, he is skiing a solid 3 hour session. I usually call it early so we leave happy/wanting more. Went down his first blue Sunday, got to the bottom and said that wasn’t scary dad. I don’t care how far he takes it, I’m just happy to be out there with him no matter what it looks like.

Now help me teach him to ride a bike, I have yet to convince him to get on one, he loves his scooter and sees no reason or purpose to get on a bicycle. Heels are dug in hard and I have not been able to crack the code on that one.

[Danno]

I really appreciated both of these posts.

I should highlight that in my original post, the most important thing that I got out of this wonderful trip was: (a) just being present and witnessing my son's vast improvement and enthusiasm for ripping around (not even pulling out the phone to record!) was a gift in and of itself, and (b) my son told me that he loves doing this sport that he finds fun with me!, and that's the best gift of all.



Given obvious geographic restrictions my son won't have the ability to ski every day after school and every weekend for hours on end like I did (and that's OK), so I know he won't have the chance to fall into the grind/burnout parts of the sport that racing can bring; he can experience that through tennis like his old man did lol. I was his age when I quit ski racing and jumped to mogul competition and it was the best thing ever for my love of the sport and skiing ability because of one thing: it was fun. I'll try my best to make sure that if some activity stops being fun for him then I'll respect his decision to not pursue it anymore, even if I wish he had.

I hope you know that I am so excited for you and what you experienced with your son!

But it struck a chord with me, because there were times in my daughter's ski "career" to date where she yelled in enjoyment "I love skiing!" And at other times wanting to ski with me a lot. And wanting to cruise around the mountain with me or friends. Which is why I have had such a hard time with the fact that she seemed to reject skiing to some extent once she was done with racing, and seemed to forget how to ski or how good she was at skiing. It quite literally hurt me in ways that I wasn't prepared for, compounded by the fact that I had those memories of her expressing her love. I have now come to terms with it, and also know I need to strategize better, but I felt like it would be good for people in here to read about my experience, maybe figure out how to plan for that possibility or not be so surprised/hurt like I was.

We have had a couple of really fun ski days since that really dark one, and I just need to build on those, and rekindle her love. Or not, and learn to live with that.

[BmillsSkier]

I hope you know that I am so excited for you and what you experienced with your son!

But it struck a chord with me, because there were times in my daughter's ski "career" to date where she yelled in enjoyment "I love skiing!" And at other times wanting to ski with me a lot. And wanting to cruise around the mountain with me or friends. Which is why I have had such a hard time with the fact that she seemed to reject skiing to some extent once she was done with racing, and seemed to forget how to ski or how good she was at skiing. It quite literally hurt me in ways that I wasn't prepared for, compounded by the fact that I had those memories of her expressing her love. I have now come to terms with it, and also know I need to strategize better, but I felt like it would be good for people in here to read about my experience, maybe figure out how to plan for that possibility or not be so surprised/hurt like I was.

We have had a couple of really fun ski days since that really dark one, and I just need to build on those, and rekindle her love. Or not, and learn to live with that.

Absolutely know that you are, no apologies/explanations necessary!

I appreciate your perspective because it is a helpful reminder that these kids are all their own person, despite who we may think they are or want them to be. And we need to be prepared for when they make choices on how they want to use their time on this planet that may leave us feeling let down or disappointed. That's a great lesson to pass along, thanks Danno.

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

The only thing I would add, as a father of a 13yo and from own experience as a kid, is that you have to remember she's only 13 and her interests and passions are probably going to change many more times. Just because she may seem burnt out on skiing now doesn't mean she's burnt out forever. If it brings her joy now it will probably bring her joy later, but it might not be an uninterrupted string from age 13 until you're too old and decrepit to ski with her anymore.

[skinipenem]

All kids need to watch the movie GNAR yearly, starting at the age 20 months old. This is the way.

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[basinbeater]

Our kids only get to ski one day a week. Saturdays in the winter are dominated by hockey. They go skiing because they want to. The boy specifically demands that I wake him up when I wake up if I'm going skiing. So I wake him and sk if he wants to go. Yes he goes, no, he can stay home. If the fam is going, both kids go. If they get cold we go in and get hot cocoa.
Activities like skiing and biking need to revolve around fun. In my humble opinion. Some of their close friends are in the devo program at the bird, and they expressed a little bit of interest in that, mainly because they think it's cool I think, but they were not interested in lessons like they did (our direction) last year. So we didn't make them, they said they just wanted to ski around with us. Trying to keep it fun.
He wanted to do two hockey teams this winter, one goalie, one forward, but he started to show stress pretty early on and we put the kibosh on that. He was angry, but began to have more fun with one team.
My kids ain't going pro in any sport, so it's gotta be for fun. There needs to be balance. Wanna go skiing and play hockey, you gotta do well in school. Not turning in homework, and poor scores? Boom, no hockey.
Wanna go skiing on a pow Friday instead of going to school? Good thing you had a strong report card and a great science project. Let's go ski some pow.
Not saying I got it figured out, cause I don't. He definitely has been challenging. He got in a fight early in the year and wasn't doing his homework. He struggled with school coming out of the pandemic.
I think it is a constant effort of trying to understand what is on his/her (we have an 8yo girl too) mind, and making sure they know we will listen.

[The Reverend Floater]

I posted this in the dick waving thread but it was just too fun not to repost:

Last week, Grace was adamant on one more run before we went home to "show me her special trick." She even insisted on a particular chair lift. Turns out said trick was going to the terrain park, something she had done once in a lesson. Fortunately, mom was out of town so I filmed it. She just turned four, and her stoke throttle is always wide open. So fun.

https://youtube.com/shorts/CHtaa7lV6...zkR8U-CI3OsTc1

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[Harry]

^^ Little Grace is sending it !


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[tgapp]

Gracie is so cute! Her popping off those jumps was absolutely adorable.

And singlesline - congrats dude!!

Not much to add re: all of the talk about skiing with your kids, other than this thread continues to be a source of great inspiration and insight. Thank you all



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[subtle plague]

I posted this in the dick waving thread but it was just too fun not to repost:

Last week, Grace was adamant on one more run before we went home to "show me her special trick." She even insisted on a particular chair lift. Turns out said trick was going to the terrain park, something she had done once in a lesson. Fortunately, mom was out of town so I filmed it. She just turned four, and her stoke throttle is always wide open. So fun.

https://youtube.com/shorts/CHtaa7lV6...zkR8U-CI3OsTc1

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Sick! She's better than my 6 year old.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

My advice, your kids aren’t you. They’re individuals and hopefully their own person. Maybe they’ll like what you like maybe not, don’t sweat it.


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[Duffman]

True fatherhood test upcoming..... Mrs Duff getting her knee scoped now, so I'll be taking both the 10 yo boy and the 6 yo girl to the Bird in a week solo. They are good travelers for the most part but are in the typical bickering phase where they alternate between being buddies or constantly harping on each other. Travelling outnumbered by these loons wasn't my ideal scenario, wish me luck. Once we manage to make it there it should be manageable ,although getting ready in the AM will likely be a shit show.

[Buzzworthy]

True fatherhood test upcoming..... Mrs Duff getting her knee scoped now, so I'll be taking both the 10 yo boy and the 6 yo girl to the Bird in a week solo. They are good travelers for the most part but are in the typical bickering phase where they alternate between being buddies or constantly harping on each other. Travelling outnumbered by these loons wasn't my ideal scenario, wish me luck. Once we manage to make it there it should be manageable ,although getting ready in the AM will likely be a shit show.

Nothing like a good challenge haha!

[Danno]

True fatherhood test upcoming..... Mrs Duff getting her knee scoped now, so I'll be taking both the 10 yo boy and the 6 yo girl to the Bird in a week solo. They are good travelers for the most part but are in the typical bickering phase where they alternate between being buddies or constantly harping on each other. Travelling outnumbered by these loons wasn't my ideal scenario, wish me luck. Once we manage to make it there it should be manageable ,although getting ready in the AM will likely be a shit show.

Whiskey will do wonders. Give the kids a shot each in the morning and two for yourself and you'll be fine.

[BmillsSkier]

Whiskey will do wonders. Give the kids a shot each in the morning and two for yourself and you'll be fine.

Lol.

[subtle plague]

Whiskey will do wonders. Give the kids a shot each in the morning and two for yourself and you'll be fine.

I like the way you think.

[easyrdr]

That was rad Rev. No fear in that little girl. Nice work!

[Duffman]

Nothing like a good challenge haha!

I should just wear the boys GoPro every AM and Livestream it here for the lulz

[subtle plague]

I should just wear the boys GoPro every AM and Livestream it here for the lulz

Subscribed.

[funkendrenchman]

True fatherhood test upcoming..... Mrs Duff getting her knee scoped now, so I'll be taking both the 10 yo boy and the 6 yo girl to the Bird in a week solo. They are good travelers for the most part but are in the typical bickering phase where they alternate between being buddies or constantly harping on each other. Travelling outnumbered by these loons wasn't my ideal scenario, wish me luck. Once we manage to make it there it should be manageable ,although getting ready in the AM will likely be a shit show.

I’ve always assumed the bickering phase is 6yo to college.

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

I’ve always assumed the bickering phase is 6yo to college.

I’m pretty sure it is. When we found out that we were having a second daughter every woman I knew with a sister said some variation of the same thing; “I love my sister, we’re best friends, I can’t imagine not having her in my life…. but we fought like cats and dogs growing up.”

Our two still get along pretty well at 10 and 13 but we’ll see what high school brings.


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