I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[AK47bp]

Not sure that's true. Because I put the TP on the roll however it happens to be in my hand... and have also never thought about it.

You sonofabitch.

No mullets, bangs only.


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[skaredshtles]

You sonofabitch.

Now that I think of it, though... coming off the bottom seems to be the "correct" orientation, 'cause if it comes off the top, the cats going to deposit the entire roll in a heap on the floor at some point, no?

Great. Now I'm going to be thinking about it.

[MontuckyFried]

This is psychotic behavior. Good job getting outta that. [emoji51]

Thanks. I am MUCH happier these days. My ex was an absolute lunatic. I may have been stupid for marrying the manipulative psycho to begin with but at least I wasn't stupid enough to get her pregnant. That honor goes to the dumbass who she was cheating on me with, then knocked her up soon after they moved in together. Friends have told me they ended up breaking up and she ended up with another kid from yet another guy who apparently is also a glutton for punishment. They also broke up. No doubt she made those guys' lives a living hell, so I always get a chuckle about that. Guy from the affair actually did me a solid by taking her off my hands for me! Thanks, bro!

My ex would get mad at me for things I did in her dreams. Fucking psycho behavior.

Yup! Freaking psychotic!!! Of course, now I can't help but think that it was related to a guilty conscience. It's always the cheaters who act the most jealous and lash out over the most trivial things. Friendly waitress says "Have a nice day"? Welp, according to my ex, that woman must be a "filthy whore who was a total bitch and is ugly and fat and what a loser and blah blah blah." W.... T..... F.....?

On the plus side, I got REALLY good at spotting red flags after that and would drop chicks at the first sign of trouble. NOPE! Homey ain't playing dat again.

[Gcooker]

Thanks. I am MUCH happier these days. My ex was an absolute lunatic. I may have been stupid for marrying the manipulative psycho to begin with but at least I wasn't stupid enough to get her pregnant. That honor goes to the dumbass who she was cheating on me with, then knocked her up soon after they moved in together. Friends have told me they ended up breaking up and she ended up with another kid from yet another guy who apparently is also a glutton for punishment. They also broke up. No doubt she made those guys' lives a living hell, so I always get a chuckle about that. Guy from the affair actually did me a solid by taking her off my hands for me! Thanks, bro!


Yup! Freaking psychotic!!! Of course, now I can't help but think that it was related to a guilty conscience. It's always the cheaters who act the most jealous and lash out over the most trivial things. Friendly waitress says "Have a nice day"? Welp, according to my ex, that woman must be a "filthy whore who was a total bitch and is ugly and fat and what a loser and blah blah blah." W.... T..... F.....?

On the plus side, I got REALLY good at spotting red flags after that and would drop chicks at the first sign of trouble. NOPE! Homey ain't playing dat again.

Was she a rocket in the sack? Must be for all you guys to have dealt with her shit. Had few of those in my time.... you don't marry crazy.

[XXX-er]

I think its more important that some body put a new roll on the holder than which way they put it on

especially if the TP happens to be stored not beside the shitter

[MontuckyFried]

Was she a rocket in the sack? Must be for all you guys to have dealt with her shit. Had few of those in my time.... you don't marry crazy.

Haha. Yup. All time. The stereotype is definitely true! That's how they lure you back in after those psychotic episodes. Right when you're ready to leave, they rip off their clothes and jump your bones. The extreme low to high must dump some serious chemicals in your brain because it's a wild ride, and it's hell to go through. Classic abusive narcissist/manipulator tactic.

[AK47bp]

Now that I think of it, though... coming off the bottom seems to be the "correct" orientation, 'cause if it comes off the top, the cats going to deposit the entire roll in a heap on the floor at some point, no?

Great. Now I'm going to be thinking about it.

If you do a yank rip on a mullet you can get a floor spool….




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[skaredshtles]

If you do a yank rip on a mullet you can get a floor spool….

Seems like that TP would have to be *really* stout to survive a yank-rip.

[Core Shot]

Too lazy to find the link.
But
Butt
The original tp patent shows the roll coming over the top.
The only reason to go behind is cats. And crazy ex wives.

[AK47bp]

Seems like that TP would have to be *really* stout to survive a yank-rip.

So you rip with 2 hands? You must have that delicate Scott single ply garbage.


TP roll placement location is also a big factor.




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[riser4]

Are we really talking about proper dispensing of asswipe? Really?

[AK47bp]

Are we really talking about proper dispensing of asswipe? Really?

New here?


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[skaredshtles]

So you rip with 2 hands? You must have that delicate Scott single ply garbage.

It's Kirkland TP - it's not single-ply, AFAIK. I've never had any issues with TP ending up in a heap due to yank-rip.

[skaredshtles]

Are we really talking about proper dispensing of asswipe? Really?

Don't all threads eventually end up here? Or at the dishwasher-loading end point?

[AK47bp]

It's Kirkland TP - it's not single-ply, AFAIK. I've never had any issues with TP ending up in a heap due to yank-rip.

If you’re mullet racking and yank rippin with no spooling, kudos my man.


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[skaredshtles]

If you’re mullet racking and yank rippin with no spooling, kudos my man.

Great. Now you've cursed me for sure. Not only will I be thinking about orientation of the roll, but I'm sure to end up with a pile of TP in the next few days...

[MontuckyFried]

Don't all threads eventually end up here? Or at the dishwasher-loading end point?

It really is amusing how SO many of us share the same experiences of our wives' (mostly harmless) quirks as well as our slew of psycho ex's.

I know some see this all as us picking on our wives, BUT let me assure you that this thread is actually marriage STRENGTHENING, as it allows us to harmlessly blow off a bit of steam with teh boys, laugh about it all, and walk away with the complete understanding that the grass is NOT greener on the other side, since so many of these female foibles are pretty universal. This thread is proof enough of that. I read the stories here, laugh, and tell my wonderful, NON-psycho wife how much I love her. Quirks and all.

[XXX-er]

Are we really talking about proper dispensing of asswipe? Really?

or you could get some work done ?

I'm still on the same package of TP I bought pre-covid cuz i also instaled the bidet attachment

[MontuckyFried]

This also appears to be a bit of a universal truth. "Whoopsies!" LMAO

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5ALZsCbQhDc

[skaredshtles]

This also appears to be a bit of a universal truth. "Whoopsies!" LMAO

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5ALZsCbQhDc

Holy shit. More gold, Jerry! Absolute gold! ?

[oftpiste]

Bidet. Problem solved.

And yes, over the top is correct and I too have had women say they never thought about it.

I may have posted this before, but my wife and I engaged in a silent war with the TP. I always install a new roll the correct way, coming over the top, she typically installed the wrong way. One day I was feeling exceptionally bold and brought it up in conversation and she said she had never noticed and had never thought about it. And there's the difference between men and women

[MontuckyFried]

The whole toilet paper debate perfectly demonstrates why the engineering fields are mostly dominated by males.

[Thaleia]

Are we really talking about proper dispensing of asswipe? Really?

I mean dishwasher loading has been discussed here on and off for what like seven years now so maybe it's a welcome diversion. Although I'm some here can spend another few pages debating salt so what do I know.

[ironhippy]

I'm still on the same package of TP I bought pre-covid cuz i also instaled the bidet attachment

At the start of covid, my wife was in on the TP hoarding. I felt it was unnecessary.
I told her once we could easily get a bidet installed before we ran out of toilet paper.

That got retold as "he wants to install a bidet"

[pfluffenmeister]

My wife and I have an inside joke that the three sweetest words you can say to your spouse are "you were right," not "I love you"

Back in the day while attending a court ordered meeting, what was written on the whiteboard made me grudgingly chuckle:

The three hardest things to say:

You were right.
I'm sorry.
Worchestershire.