About to turn 50 and am too tired to continue

[Aldo]

Love this.
Buzz - we all thrive being in our natural environment- seems like we all agree - high alpine does it for us. Don’t care if it’s at the roof of the Rockies or a pimple in New Jersey in my case. It invigorates us, gives us perspective, lets us step back from the day to day and take in all the good things. Get out there and do it. Breath deep. Relax. Smile.

[gaijin]

Just checking in, readers.

You all can also DM me. I give my number out for free.

Because, Fuck yeah.... shit's rad, yo. Even when it's hard.

BTW, I really appreciate updates from you, Buzz... Keep it flowing...

I have a week of random spring-break time off... give me a ring if you can. It's not like I'm in a meeting somewhere... asking for money... pretending like life is constantly uphill.

[shera]

Also now that I’ve hit the ❤️ on every single one of all of your posts.

And to those out there feeling my words, keep fighting too. You’re important to so many people and you too can fight the spiders. You’re important to you.

Thank you for this thread. I can just click on a random page now and get a benefit. Mental health seems to be a lot of work and people in here are doing it.

Maggots spitting sunshine and daisies, hahaha. Just got this image in my head.

[TBS]

Hey Buzz -
Happy to hear you are feeling a little more positive. It’s a bitch to crawl out of that black hole. Give yourself some love for what you are accomplishing

As far as the need to help others before yourself, this little sign in my docs office is always a good reminder

[fomofo]

I came across this yesterday, and found it interesting, and inspiring. thought perhaps other folks checking in here might as well.

[Hood26]

Hope spring is treating you all well.

[riser4]

I'm having a pretty rough couple weeks at work. Rough going and in a dark place Might have to ditch this gig because it's killing me. Scared to leave without another job lined up. My wife says it's better to do that than have it continue to harm my mental and physical health. It's doing both. Then there's all the macho bullshit about failure, being useless, etc. That's a hard loop to have in my head. I have no plans to check out, I want to be around. EAP at work just changed. Trying to navigate the new process. I need more help than just six talk sessions. I'm really just venting. Hope this thread is the right place for this mental defective.

[bennymac]

we take all who show up and even those that just liste

[The Reverend Floater]

I'm having a pretty rough couple weeks at work. Rough going and in a dark place Might have to ditch this gig because it's killing me. Scared to leave without another job lined up. My wife says it's better to do that than have it continue to harm my mental and physical health. It's doing both. Then there's all the macho bullshit about failure, being useless, etc. That's a hard loop to have in my head. I have no plans to check out, I want to be around. EAP at work just changed. Trying to navigate the new process. I need more help than just six talk sessions. I'm really just venting. Hope this thread is the right place for this mental defective.

I know this feeling. I don't know about your financial situation but if you can afford it, liberate yourself. You owe yourself that much.

People have a funny way of thinking they can power through, because it's just "work." But the truth of the matter is that we spend the vast majority of our waking hours doing it and it can kill you, literally and figuratively. It's not easy to leave stability, even when it's shitty, because we crave predictability. But liberate. It can't be worse, so it'll almost certainly be better, right?

And no matter what, remember that you don't owe them shit.

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[riser4]

Without a paycheck things dry up pretty darn quick. I'm not a dentist with reserves. And I don't want to use the meager "break glass" funds that we do have. Plus healthcare. That's through my work. COBRA looks expensive. Would I even qualify?

[ex-powderbroker]

Without a paycheck things dry up pretty darn quick. I'm not a dentist with reserves. And I don't want to use the meager "break glass" funds that we do have. Plus healthcare. That's through my work. COBRA looks expensive. Would I even qualify?

i feel you about work, it’s so hard.

[AdironRider]

Without a paycheck things dry up pretty darn quick. I'm not a dentist with reserves. And I don't want to use the meager "break glass" funds that we do have. Plus healthcare. That's through my work. COBRA looks expensive. Would I even qualify?

You can get cobra coverage even if you quit.

I can certainly relate to feeling the need to stay. I've stayed in terrible situations for far longer than my mental or physical health should have put up with. I think you might be surprised just how eliminating the bad work situation will change your perspective on your financial or professional (or lack thereof) situation in and of itself for the better, even if objectively your finances don't change or get worse as a result. More than likely, your increased mental health will lead to better and brighter things.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Without a paycheck things dry up pretty darn quick. I'm not a dentist with reserves. And I don't want to use the meager "break glass" funds that we do have. Plus healthcare. That's through my work. COBRA looks expensive. Would I even qualify?

How old are you now, around 55 iirc? If you quit your job you can take distributions from your 401k penalty free at 55 1/2. That could bridge you over until you find new work.

COBRA is expensive, you’d be able to get a high deductible plan on the exchange to bridge you to your next job

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[Foggy_Goggles]

Nice bump. I've been thinking about Buzz and others due to some sad event in my community.

Riser, perhaps instead of thinking about it quit/no quit consider it a wake up call to make your primary focus your short and long term mental and physical well being. So while a shitty work scene is no doubt toxic and should be eliminated/managed a lack of income and benefit has its own set stressors.

Its not a one size fits all type deal but, for me at least, removing the dog shit job can give you the opportunity to make progress but it really isn't progress itself. Your health is on you.

Is time your constraint? How is your discipline? Do you do well with self imposed deadlines and routines? Can your family take a bit of your plate and allow you to invest in yourself?

Starting today can you commit to exercise, better diet, less vices, focus on sleep and so on?
Momentum is a very powerful force. We have to work hard to getting going in the right direction but once we do its much easier to feel empowered and on a go path.

[Bunion 2020]

OK, here goes.

I am 66.6 and just DGAF about skiing at my local resorts anymore. Yesterday brought a foot of new and reportedly excellent conditions.

OTOH, the entire vibe of such a day fills me with a loathing that I just cannot shake. Between the drive, the parking and then the rest of the bullshit that goes along with such days I don't think I can do it anymore. When I get to the ski area I wish I was just about anywhere else.

Other than "Hike up your skirt" etc, any advice?

[MagnificentUnicorn]

OK, here goes.

I am 66.6 and just DGAF about skiing at my local resorts anymore. Yesterday brought a foot of new and reportedly excellent conditions.

OTOH, the entire vibe of such a day fills me with a loathing that I just cannot shake. Between the drive, the parking and then the rest of the bullshit that goes along with such days I don't think I can do it anymore. When I get to the ski area I wish I was just about anywhere else.

Other than "Hike up your skirt" etc, any advice?

A change of scenery? I very much don’t like the resort vibe. Love our local hill, feels like home.


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[ex-powderbroker]

It was the worst season for me since 2001 and it’s hard for me to relate but if you hate the vibe on pow days at the local mega resort can you go to a more local hill? tour? try snowboarding or tele to take the rah rah bro brah pressure off intentionally? check the first world problems thread?

That’s all I got. And maybe the crowds should thin out at 2 and maybe you can sneak a spot up front for a couple of hours of leftovers.

[Foggy_Goggles]

Bunion, I had that phase. You've skied a lot in your life. I may feel strange to not love it anymore. Try and be a peace with that. It is a tough concept for many people to relate to but I can. Its "just another powder turn".

Things that helped me are to realize that in addition to a ski turn being just plain fucking awesome it was about hanging out with my friends, being outside and feeling the wind on my face. So thing about some options you may have to replace the things you used to love about skiing. For me snowmobiling, paragliding, XC, dog walking etc. have allowed me to not "need" skiing as much. Now, when I point my truck towards the ski area, I am able to have no expectation. I even tell myself that I can turn around and go home. But guess what, I probably end the season with something like 20 days on my pass and 15 in the BC but they've all been awesome and on my terms.

[liv2ski]

OK, here goes.

I am 66.6 and just DGAF about skiing at my local resorts anymore.

65 here and kind of the same only because my hill is 6 hours away This was the most lackluster season of my skiing career due to being old and out of shape. Told myself I will buy next seasons pass, but if I am not in great shape by then, well fuck it. I ski with a couple of ski clubs and really enjoy some of the people I ski with. Maybe you need to ski with others to have a good time?

[shera]

I just ski a couple of hours here and there anymore, but I still get annoyed with driving and parking, even though my drive is only half an hour and the road is beautiful and easy. I also get bored sometimes, not all the time, on the chairlifts, all the good terrain is slow chairs. A new playlist every winter helps and I'm making more of an effort to ski with other people and chat on the chairs, but I find that pretty exhausting emotionally. I guess all the years as an instructor completely tapped out my social energy. It feels like WORK to be sociable and I feel tired. One of the reasons I came back on this forum was to make the effort to be socialble.

[Meadow Skipper]

Wow, these last few posts really speak to/of me. raisingarizona’s been posting about losing the passion for skiing too. Things like fly fishing and my motorcycle interest me more.

Interesting, I’ll be following the thoughts along this line. I don’t have any advice for Bunion, just that I’m basically going through the same thing, coincidentally after ‘retiring’ from full time ‘trolling.

[::: :::]

Humbly suggest finding a group activity — group bike ride? Volunteer trail building? Doesn’t matter what it is…just that it puts you in touch with people in a way that isn’t artificial or transitory/brief

As we get older, we get separated from the social circles that used to be in our lives whether we sought them out or not: school, university, work, kid’s school/clubs, etc

As much as any person may not necessarily be an out-going personality, these social interactions bring lots of good vibes (for lack of a better phrase)

[XXX-er]

Take up Pickle ball ?

I was done with skiing this season by last sunday and so the bike is exciting me but seriously if you don't feel it then you don't feel it so what else are you gona do ?

I was way more rabid/ ski crazy in the pre covid times and the pre ACL surgery, still I bought my early bird pass yesturday cuz they gave me a good discount for fishing snow boarders out of the slush pit and I am sure I will get it up for 24/25

I identifyed as a paddler but I couldn't sit in the boats any more so I gave up Kayaking which is probably the first sport i had to give up but honestly I didn't really want to sit in WW kayak anymore. So myself and ski/ paddle bro would talk about this we agree we have aged out

[byates1]

OK, here goes.

I am 66.6 and just DGAF about skiing at my local resorts anymore. Yesterday brought a foot of new and reportedly excellent conditions.

OTOH, the entire vibe of such a day fills me with a loathing that I just cannot shake. Between the drive, the parking and then the rest of the bullshit that goes along with such days I don't think I can do it anymore. When I get to the ski area I wish I was just about anywhere else.

Other than "Hike up your skirt" etc, any advice?

Retire sell everything get a sweet van ski Beaver Taos lost trail. Build a small cabin somewhere quiet.

[adrenalated]

Nice bump. I've been thinking about Buzz and others due to some sad event in my community.

Riser, perhaps instead of thinking about it quit/no quit consider it a wake up call to make your primary focus your short and long term mental and physical well being. So while a shitty work scene is no doubt toxic and should be eliminated/managed a lack of income and benefit has its own set stressors.

Its not a one size fits all type deal but, for me at least, removing the dog shit job can give you the opportunity to make progress but it really isn't progress itself. Your health is on you.

Is time your constraint? How is your discipline? Do you do well with self imposed deadlines and routines? Can your family take a bit of your plate and allow you to invest in yourself?

Starting today can you commit to exercise, better diet, less vices, focus on sleep and so on?
Momentum is a very powerful force. We have to work hard to getting going in the right direction but once we do its much easier to feel empowered and on a go path.

Thanks for this. I'm in a bit of a similar spot as riser right now in that I've come to the conclusion that I'm really unhappy with my job. Though there's some undeniable huge pluses (working remote), I've been underpaid and overworked for a long time, and lately they've been fucking up most of my benefits and I finally realized that I just really don't enjoy what I'm doing anymore as there's no longer any mental challenge to it. The work is still technically challenging, but the challenge is only fighting my design software. There's no more interesting challenge in the things I'm designing, which is the part of my job that was actually interesting at one time.

But also like riser, I'm in a place right now where financially I can't just up and quit, need that paycheck, don't have the reserves right now to cover it or take a big leap into the unknown.

So this is good advice. For now, focus on making every other part of my personal wellbeing as awesome as I can while working towards being more ready to walk away from the current gig.