About to turn 50 and am too tired to continue

[riser4]

Exercise helps fight the demons.

I have added jumping around to this as part of my routine. It's better and more effective than Richard Simmons.

[subtle plague]

Only if Aquaseal is involved, eh.

I mean who doesn't like tight butts?

[subtle plague]

I'm looking for partner investors interested in getting in on the ground level of a totally new line of "Hard weather" outerwear. The fabric, stitching, facing and other components are 100% Aquaseal. It's all custom, too. You come in to the studio and we just pour a 50 gallon drum of the stuff over you and make a mould. You keep a snorkel in. You know, for air and stuff.

You'll be the Canadian Yvon Chouinard ! But you created your empire the Canadian way, with aquaseal.

[XXX-er]

dude getting " tubed " has a whole different meaning

[Ted Striker]

[XXX-er]

whats wrong with a watch ?

[rideit]

[tellybele]

Dildo therapy is where it's at. What are the s(l)ide effects?

[rideit]

Calling your Doctor Peggy?

[AK47bp]

Dildo therapy is where it's at. What are the s(l)ide effects?

Depends

[Harry]

Lulz


Sent from my iPad using TGR Forums

[Foggy_Goggles]

Just checkin' in with ya Buzz. Looks like the weather has been a bit gross out here and I know that's a challenge.

One think I was thinking about was that not only did it take true courage to start this thread, it looks to me like that kinda got the ball rolling in a positive direction around here. It provided a bit of context around life just generally being a challenge and enabled people to talk about it.

As much as we are just a bunch of fucksticks talking 'bout nothing, this place is primarily good people just keepin' on keepin' on. It works better when we are real. I have a lot of respect for those that share a bit of themselves versus perpetrating a front.

[byates1]

Word up^. Hope things are good mister.

[Danno]

Well said foggy

[SuperChief]

My child is an adult. I’m no longer needed.
Skiing isn’t fun anymore. Mountain biking isn’t fun anymore. Life hasn’t been fun for a long time. Caring has become difficult. Fuck I don’t even enjoy beer much anymore. I just don’t give a shit anymore and it’s scary.

I lost my dad when I was 27. It’s been 27 years and I miss him every single day in my life. Any success I’ve had is tempered by the thoughts of he would have been proud of me. I didn’t get a chance to show him the best version of me and it hurts every day. My Mom passed from a heart attack 7yrs ago. I was fortunate she saw some of my successes but still have regrets.

Your kids need you to grow old so they can tell you “I told you so.” or I’m sorry I was an out of control dumbass.

Generational trauma is a real thing. Consider your offspring you can enriched their lives even if they aren’t paying attention.

[Blatant]

Chiming in late, but I can tell you from experience, quit drinking if you do. It'll start to provide moments of unfcked clarity. Vibes mang, hope you're hanging in there.

Also, I have an elephant for sale, cheap, reasonably well behaved. That might give you new found meaning?

[Buzzworthy]

Just checkin' in with ya Buzz. Looks like the weather has been a bit gross out here and I know that's a challenge.

One think I was thinking about was that not only did it take true courage to start this thread, it looks to me like that kinda got the ball rolling in a positive direction around here. It provided a bit of context around life just generally being a challenge and enabled people to talk about it.

As much as we are just a bunch of fucksticks talking 'bout nothing, this place is primarily good people just keepin' on keepin' on. It works better when we are real. I have a lot of respect for those that share a bit of themselves versus perpetrating a front.

I’m always happier to help others than myself. Maybe in some way that is me helping myself, by helping others. I’m trying to stay busy. Working more than I should. Planned two outings only to end up covering for sick employees both times. Trying again Tuesday for Snowbasin. Looking sunny even.
Talked to another therapist. Didn’t really help as I’m just telling the same story over and over. Talked to the U. Saving up for Ketamine. It’s not remotely cheap.
I have no desire to get drunk. Maybe I’m finally past that stage of life. I’ll always be a stoner. However with the lack of joy from anything, I’m not even smoking much. I’m clearly still in a rut. It’s very difficult to put myself out there. I’m very very embarrassed still. I want to take you guys up on your offers through your PMs to me. I do. I just need for me to feel right or better a bit before I can. It’s exhausting to deal with these feelings and continue forward. Add in talking about all of this with others and man, I’m out of all energy. So I sit there numb. I kinda feel like a walking zombie. But when I get lots of rest my mind takes over again and any progress I felt I’ve made is gone to the brain spiders. They rested and are ready to fuck shit up again.
I’ve made it out to a mags house and talked a little face to face in his garage.Thank you sir, that really helped me get over the initial hump of not wanting to show my face since I started this thread.
All of your PMs are still there for me to respond to. This is just fucking hard. But I will. I’m trying.

At least right now I don’t feel a need to drastically end my life. I have so many of you to thank for that.

[Hott Butt Mud]

I’m always happier to help others than myself. Maybe in some way that is me helping myself, by helping others. I’m trying to stay busy. Working more than I should. Planned two outings only to end up covering for sick employees both times. Trying again Tuesday for Snowbasin. Looking sunny even.
Talked to another therapist. Didn’t really help as I’m just telling the same story over and over. Talked to the U. Saving up for Ketamine. It’s not remotely cheap.
I have no desire to get drunk. Maybe I’m finally past that stage of life. I’ll always be a stoner. However with the lack of joy from anything, I’m not even smoking much. I’m clearly still in a rut. It’s very difficult to put myself out there. I’m very very embarrassed still. I want to take you guys up on your offers through your PMs to me. I do. I just need for me to feel right or better a bit before I can. It’s exhausting to deal with these feelings and continue forward. Add in talking about all of this with others and man, I’m out of all energy. So I sit there numb. I kinda feel like a walking zombie. But when I get lots of rest my mind takes over again and any progress I felt I’ve made is gone to the brain spiders. They rested and are ready to fuck shit up again.
I’ve made it out to a mags house and talked a little face to face in his garage.Thank you sir, that really helped me get over the initial hump of not wanting to show my face since I started this thread.
All of your PMs are still there for me to respond to. This is just fucking hard. But I will. I’m trying.

At least right now I don’t feel a need to drastically end my life. I have so many of you to thank for that.

I didn't realize you were in Utah. Snowbasin should help.

Have you considered moving away from Utah? That place sucks balls when there's an inversion in the winter. Can't be good for mental health. Also, do you still like the things that brought you to Utah?

Go to Wendover and buy a hooker.

[adrenalated]

You may not feel like you've made much progress but this right here:

At least right now I don’t feel a need to drastically end my life.

Shows you've made massive progress since you started this thread. So, fuck yeah man, keep on keeping on.

We finally got out of some dreary weather where I'm at and man, going out and throwing a frisbee for the pup in the sun for 20min the last couple evenings sure has helped my disposition.

[MakersTeleMark]

I lost my dad when I was 27. It’s been 27 years and I miss him every single day in my life. Any success I’ve had is tempered by the thoughts of he would have been proud of me. I didn’t get a chance to show him the best version of me and it hurts every day. My Mom passed from a heart attack 7yrs ago. I was fortunate she saw some of my successes but still have regrets.

Your kids need you to grow old so they can tell you “I told you so.” or I’m sorry I was an out of control dumbass.

Generational trauma is a real thing. Consider your offspring you can enriched their lives even if they aren’t paying attention.

I hate to play the guilt card but I've seen, in multiple cases intimately, how utter and completely suicide of parent completely fucks up children of any age permanently. It's like all the good years are completely erased and these people and their relationships going forward are fucked for life.

So if you want to fuck your kids for life, at least know that is exactly what you would be doing. Even the natural death of a parent is traumatizing, but suicide has a completely different wave signature.

That being said, any step you make, be that walking outside and enjoying some quiet, or picking up the phone, is a step forward, and I hope you have millions more left in you.

[beaterdit]

I’m always happier to help others than myself. Maybe in some way that is me helping myself, by helping others. I’m trying to stay busy. Working more than I should. Planned two outings only to end up covering for sick employees both times. Trying again Tuesday for Snowbasin. Looking sunny even.
Talked to another therapist. Didn’t really help as I’m just telling the same story over and over. Talked to the U. Saving up for Ketamine. It’s not remotely cheap.
I have no desire to get drunk. Maybe I’m finally past that stage of life. I’ll always be a stoner. However with the lack of joy from anything, I’m not even smoking much. I’m clearly still in a rut. It’s very difficult to put myself out there. I’m very very embarrassed still. I want to take you guys up on your offers through your PMs to me. I do. I just need for me to feel right or better a bit before I can. It’s exhausting to deal with these feelings and continue forward. Add in talking about all of this with others and man, I’m out of all energy. So I sit there numb. I kinda feel like a walking zombie. But when I get lots of rest my mind takes over again and any progress I felt I’ve made is gone to the brain spiders. They rested and are ready to fuck shit up again.
I’ve made it out to a mags house and talked a little face to face in his garage.Thank you sir, that really helped me get over the initial hump of not wanting to show my face since I started this thread.
All of your PMs are still there for me to respond to. This is just fucking hard. But I will. I’m trying.

At least right now I don’t feel a need to drastically end my life. I have so many of you to thank for that.

This is good stuff Buzz. It's fucking hard and you can't really rush it, you have to go at the pace you can manage.

This thread is awesome in a way. Lots of people sharing lots of stuff, we're not alone, we all struggle, most of us anyway. Community and commiseration help, even on the other side of the screen.

[John_B]

At least right now I don’t feel a need to drastically end my life. I have so many of you to thank for that.

Damn am I happy to hear that Buzz. I live a long ways from Utah and until I get my shit together and start doing the mag meetups I'm pretty unlikely to ever meet you. Still for some reason after reading your post I found myself sitting on the couch next to my dog with tears in my eyes. I'm incredibly happy you are feeling better and I really hope it continues.

I also hope I can get my shit together in the next five minutes before my wife gets home and asks "why are you crying?" Keep on keeping on man and good luck getting out for a ski this spring!!

[XXX-er]

Generational trauma is a real thing. Consider your offspring you can enriched their lives even if they aren’t paying attention.

You wana talk about trauma both my parents came of age in the active war zones of WW II, my father in the battle of Britain my mother in occupied Singapore and it fucked them up pretty good which in turn fucked me up but less so and my kids less than that

[Jax]

Keep on keepin' on man. This thread is hard to read for me personally so apologies, I haven't read every page. Glad you're still here.

Maybe this was mentioned/asked before, but do you happen to be taking Singulair? Some people do not do mentally well while on it, like at all, as it can trigger suicidal thoughts, depression, nightmares, feelings of void and other bad shit out of nowhere, hence the black box warning. Again, apologies if this was already covered.

[Trackhead]

You wana talk about trauma both my parents came of age in the active war zones of WW II, my father in the battle of Britain my mother in occupied Singapore and it fucked them up pretty good which in turn fucked me up but less so and my kids less than that

Generational unfuckery….good job