I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[liv2ski]

Yup, go fix it yourself. Not my problem.

[gaijin]

My wife came home with one of those scratch/dents on my last car. She felt horrible. I asked her if she got hurt and when she said no, I said "Then I don't give a shit."

/shrug. People are fairly absent-minded by nature.

(was secretly screaming internally because now I have to drive around with that stupid ass dent/scratch that I'm not gonna pay to fix because the car's already paid for and no way I'm gonna jack up my insurance by having them pay for it so I'll just have to wear that like a badge of some-fucking-honor like I-don't-give-a-shit-because-I'm-a-rad-husband while wishing to tell everyone next to me at the stop light that I'm not actually the one who drives like shit and marks up his car goddamnit why doesn't anyone listen to me?)

Oh, look. Another squirrel.

[Timberridge]

There seems to be a difference between 67 degrees whether the thermostat is set to that temp in the summer or the winter.
In the summer it's not cold enough, in the winter it's too cold.

[TBS]

Heading into to town this PM to pick up our fireproof strongbox.
The key got lost so the safe company had to defeat the lock and make new keys.

How did the key get lost, when for the last 15 years it’s been sticking out of the safe’s lock?
Ms TBS decided to take the key out of the lock and put it in a secure location…

[Meadow Skipper]

^ lol

[seano732]

Mrs. Seano wanted to put up all the Christmas stuff this past Sunday. I did not. So on Sunday we put up all the Christmas stuff.

[AK47bp]

Mrs. Seano wanted to put up all the Christmas stuff this past Sunday. I did not. So on Sunday we put up all the Christmas stuff.

I sternly informed my wife that we will NOT be setting up Christmas decorations until December 1st.

So November 24th I’m tying a tree to the roof of my SUV.

[seano732]

I sternly informed my wife that we will NOT be setting up Christmas decorations until December 1st.

So November 24th I’m tying a tree to the roof of my SUV.

Bahahaha I feel your pain…

[Name Redacted]

Finally went off and told my wife how I feel about Christmas and the whole charade or religion/santa clause bullshit. I don't think we are doing decorations this year.

[XXX-er]

well ya but its tradition, then what else is she gona change ?

[skaredshtles]

Heading into to town this PM to pick up our fireproof strongbox.
The key got lost so the safe company had to defeat the lock and make new keys.

How did the key get lost, when for the last 15 years it’s been sticking out of the safe’s lock?
Ms TBS decided to take the key out of the lock and put it in a secure location…

I laffed.

[skaredshtles]

Finally went off and told my wife how I feel about Christmas and the whole charade or religion/santa clause bullshit. I don't think we are doing decorations this year.

Oh, man... you're gonna pay for it now.

[old goat]

My wife puts up the corniest, most garish blowup lawn displays. The poor taste used to bother me but I know they offend the asshole neighbors so now I like them.

[riser4]

My wife puts up the corniest, most garish blowup lawn displays. The poor taste used to bother me but I know they offend the asshole neighbors so now I like them.

This.

[xyz]

Why is it mandatory for her to slam the car door with all her strength?

[skaredshtles]

Why is it mandatory for her to slam the car door with all her strength?

And then, conversely, leaves the front door of the house UNCLOSED in the middle of the winter.

WHO ARE THESE CREATURES?!?

[Core Shot]

Finally went off and told my wife how I feel about Christmas and the whole charade or religion/santa clause bullshit. I don't think we WILL BE HAVING SEX THIS MONTH

FIFY

[Boissal]

And then, conversely, leaves the front door of the house UNCLOSED in the middle of the winter.

WHO ARE THESE CREATURES?!?

I've come home several times to find the front door opened. Not unlocked, opened in full view of the street. For 2-3 hours depending on when she leaves for a night shift and when I get home, or in the AM when she leaves early and I don't get up for another couple hours. Laptops out on the living room table, my wallet on the table by the door, no worries, it will be fine, we have a screen door she says. A screen door you know the thing that's made of fine invisible mesh in the summer which we replaced with glass in the winter. Real good stuff to hide what's in the house...

[Art Shirk]

And then, conversely, leaves the front door of the house UNCLOSED in the middle of the winter.

WHO ARE THESE CREATURES?!?

You know, I try my hardest to stay out of this thread because I’m no fucking saint myself but goddamn this was exactly my thought before I read your post. I’ve often wondered why my car doors get raped and the door to my house gets a reach around while spread eagle. It takes everything I have to not passive aggressively explain the concept of hinges. How can two actions so consistently come from the same people.


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[johnnyg82]

Bingo.
Before the telemark joke I called it a Phil Donahue.

PS. Every wife would love us to squat pee. Our splatter when standing is a constant annoyance. Alleviated by sharing in bathroom cleaning chores.
But I only sit when it’s middle of the night half asleep.

PPS. This is getting gross. Can we get back to pillows or useless holiday decorations?

Anyone else dealing with seasonal pillows? wtf.

My wife just sent me images of seasonal sheets and pajamas.

[johnnyg82]

Then get a split king. Bonus is you can each get your own preference of mattress firmness.

And separate motorized adjustable frames!

[californiagrown]

Your wives have unnecessary amounts of throw pillows. My wife has decided to collect unnecessary amounts of cough syrup cups:

[Name Redacted]

In her defense, they make great shot glasses.

[Core Shot]

My wife just sent me images of seasonal sheets and pajamas.

Matching?

[muted reborn]

I think my wife has too many snowboards right now. And the six year old definitely can't keep a door closed, but she should figure it out in a couple years, hopefully sooner. Have your sons line up to date her when she's 18, she'll be a keeper!