I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[Diamond Joe]

I mean spooning, snuggling, being close and all that is great, for the first 20 minutes of falling asleep. After that, get the fuck away from me and I'd really like to have more than 2 feet of bed for my 6 foot, 200lb frame and internal furnace of a body. And of course, like every woman ever, my wife is constantly COLD - my exact opposite - so I'm constantly having to fight off blankets, comforters, etc, that she discards as she gets warmer.

[riser4]

Then get a split king. Bonus is you can each get your own preference of mattress firmness.

[Diamond Joe]

I feel like I spend a not-insignificant amount of my waking hours shutting things after my wife.

If she cooks, every cabinet door is left open. Used the microwave? Door open, inside light burning out. Grabbed something in the fridge and using said thing on the counter? Fridge open and open door thing beeping annoyingly, with her oblivious to it. I posted a pic down thread of both her bathroom cabinet doors open. Lights in a room you're no longer in, bathroom fan you used an hour ago, or heated blanket you used this morning when you were cold? On, on, and on.... I just like, follow her around shutting things and shutting things off

[Diamond Joe]

Then get a split king. Bonus is you can each get your own preference of mattress firmness.

Exactly what I'm considering - that Sleep Number split king where they claim you can sleep "13% cooler or hotter"

[riser4]

Exactly what I'm considering - that Sleep Number split king where they claim you can sleep "13% cooler or hotter"

You need the really expensive one(s) for heating and cooling. We didn't want to spend that much. Using different mattress toppers gets us where we want to be.

[riser4]

I feel like I spend a not-insignificant amount of my waking hours shutting things after my wife.

If she cooks, every cabinet door is left open. Used the microwave? Door open, inside light burning out. Grabbed something in the fridge and using said thing on the counter? Fridge open and open door thing beeping annoyingly, with her oblivious to it. I posted a pic down thread of both her bathroom cabinet doors open. Lights in a room you're no longer in, bathroom fan you used an hour ago, or heated blanket you used this morning when you were cold? On, on, and on.... I just like, follow her around shutting things and shutting things off

I started replacing the hinges in our kitchen cabinets because of that. She said she didn't close them because they were worn out and wouldn't stay closed. Which is true. So got self closing ones and started with the most commonly used ones. Guess what? She quickly learned how far to leave them open to defeat the closing mechanism. Busted. In fairness, I'm the one who leaves the lights on. I can't see very well and I like things lit up like the sun. And I'm lazy.

[halliday]

People seriously go down on one knee to pee? Never heard of such a thing

Only freeheelers

[oftpiste]

Boats. More boats.

Ok I like this. This is progress.

But I’ll rightfully get shit on by the people who know me and know that my ski days have waned and I have a better chance using this method to buy tools.


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[Ted Striker]

Ha! yes boats.

[oldnew_guy]

Not to take away from the pee & poop discussion and isnt ther a sit to pee thread?

Why do wives like so much STUFF. Christmas really brings it out, we need to bring out the Christmas themed knickknacks and throw pillows, but the normal all season throw pillows & knick knacks cant get put away....

I try not to asign gender norms, but I have never known a man, gay or straight, who gave a shit about throw pillows on the couch, chair, bed, etc.

Watch out for those Buy Nothing groups. Removes any semblance of a financial barrier to acquiring more stuff.

[Thaleia]

I feel like I spend a not-insignificant amount of my waking hours shutting things after my wife.

If she cooks, every cabinet door is left open. Used the microwave? Door open, inside light burning out. Grabbed something in the fridge and using said thing on the counter? Fridge open and open door thing beeping annoyingly, with her oblivious to it. I posted a pic down thread of both her bathroom cabinet doors open. Lights in a room you're no longer in, bathroom fan you used an hour ago, or heated blanket you used this morning when you were cold? On, on, and on.... I just like, follow her around shutting things and shutting things off

Oh that's called the path of destruction. If my better 1/3 is home for the day I can pretty much retrace her steps and activities by the detritus left behind.

[lowsparkco]

We have a king mattress pad that has an electric heater. Different controls and coils for each side of the bed. And a timer, it will cut itself off. Hardest thing is remembering to cut it on 10 minutes before you get in.

I gave it to my wife for her birthday a couple years ago after she complained about how cold the bed was when she gets in, but also so we wouldn’t need such heavy bedding for her. It works great. I bought it at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

[plugboots]

Nate tells lots of great wife jokes.


Of course, the app doesn’t wanna let me embed anymore

https://youtu.be/4sdrtEhbzys?si=PGEQ0PbZgRcg53Zi

Or now it just leaves this fucking icon that doesn’t mean anything, except if I click on the icon, it does go to YouTube.

[riser4]

Exactly what I'm considering - that Sleep Number split king where they claim you can sleep "13% cooler or hotter"

Oh, and I recommend the fully split king, not the "split top" king.

[heckacali]

I listen to Nate all the time. Love his comedy.

[basinbeater]

I just spent $1800 in the last few weeks fixin up our land cruiser and generally cleaning it up. New steering wheel, new seat leather, repaint faded hood, timing belt, suspension bushings etc... saturday.... I watch her dump a full diet Coke all over the center console and carpet. Then today, she took a corner too tight (common occurrence that has resulted in tire replacement on her leaf before...and if I suggest she take a wider line, off with my head) and this time, the back wheel went up on the curb, and the concrete post just inside the curb laid a nice fat dent and scrape a long the side of the car.
Oh you know, just driving around sipping on my drink while texting. SOP.
Grrrr. Venting.

[Danno]

I believe that's a killin' offense.

[Meadow Skipper]

I just spent $1800 in the last few weeks fixin up our land cruiser and generally cleaning it up. New steering wheel, new seat leather, repaint faded hood, timing belt, suspension bushings etc... saturday.... I watch her dump a full diet Coke all over the center console and carpet. Then today, she took a corner too tight (common occurrence that has resulted in tire replacement on her leaf before...and if I suggest she take a wider line, off with my head) and this time, the back wheel went up on the curb, and the concrete post just inside the curb laid a nice fat dent and scrape a long the side of the car.
Oh you know, just driving around sipping on my drink while texting. SOP.
Grrrr. Venting.

+++ vibes dude. URFuct

[Dantheman]

Does she have a sister that drives a white 2017 Cayenne? In late October I was stopped at a red light on my bike waiting to turn left. An early fifties woman turning left from the cross street took the corner about 10 feet too far inside and ran my ass over like I wasn't even there, so this tracks.

[alias#?]

At least she didn't kill a pedestrian. Jfhc.

[Art Shirk]

This is a monthly occurrence for me. It’s why we don’t have a nice suv anymore. The 10 year old Highlander just collects bumps rashes and bruises like a $10 dollar hooker.


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[riser4]

This is a monthly occurrence for me. It’s why we don’t have a nice suv anymore. The 10 year old Highlander just collects bumps rashes and bruises like a $10 dollar hooker.


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That's the best use I've heard of so far for a Highlander.

[basinbeater]

This is a monthly occurrence for me. It’s why we don’t have a nice suv anymore. The 10 year old Highlander just collects bumps rashes and bruises like a $10 dollar hooker.


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Well it is 25 years old, but it is a land cruiser, and it runs great and looks pretty good. Or it did.

[plugboots]

Well it is 25 years old, but it is a land cruiser, and it runs great and looks pretty good. Or it did.

My buddy says his wife isn't "Car aware".
It helps him get through the day.

[Buzzworthy]

I’m counting my lucky stars I got a wife that actually drives well most of the time.
You’re wives would drive me up a fucking wall.