I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[bennymac]

We use a motion sensor light in the bathroom that is subtle - and then I dull it down further with some partially opaque tape over the light source - just enough light to see where you’re going but not enough to mess up your sleep patterns. Also don’t have any light sources in the bedroom - even light from a clock can reportedly mess with your sleep.

[plugboots]

Yeah, somehow get her best friend to show your wife an article about how night lights suck.

[Ted Striker]

...and I have a better chance using this method to buy tools.

Instead of tools, it should be vehicles that have a 30% chance of ever reliably running. It's solidly in the Puget Sound to Orcas SOP, and if you need further guidance you can pm gravitylover.

[subtle plague]

Magnetic pillows with an electromagnetic ceiling. Flick the switch and pillows get sucked to the ceiling. No unsightly strings.

Hey this is tgr. You'd kill half of the population by ripping put their pace makers.

[Beaver]

Night lights un-necessary when sitting to pee.

How the fuck do you sit to pee when you get up in the middle of the night? I'd be pissing like water fountain.

[skaredshtles]

How the fuck do you sit to pee when you get up in the middle of the night? I'd be pissing like water fountain.

Come on, man... you haven't sorted out management of that yet??

[californiagrown]

Instead of tools, it should be vehicles that have a 30% chance of ever reliably running. It's solidly in the Puget Sound to Orcas SOP, and if you need further guidance you can pm gravitylover.

I suggest picking up (towing) an old, moss covered diesel station wagon. Volvo or Mercedes preferred. It comes with the need to buy more tools.

[Core Shot]

Sometimes in the middle of the night I don’t feel like opening my eyes to aim.

So I telemark pee. It’s more relaxing.

Wait. Is this the wife thread or the getting old thread?

[AK47bp]

Sometimes in the middle of the night I don’t feel like opening my eyes to aim.

So I telemark pee. It’s more relaxing.

Wait. Is this the wife thread or the getting old thread?

Do you piss on your own balls?



If so, take it to the old ass thread

[Art Shirk]

Instead of tools, it should be vehicles that have a 30% chance of ever reliably running. It's solidly in the Puget Sound to Orcas SOP, and if you need further guidance you can pm gravitylover.

Already have that covered.


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[Core Shot]

Do you piss on your own balls?



If so, take it to the old ass thread

Not yet. My dick still hangs lower than my balls.
Is that something to look forward to aging?
Is that where the new expression balls to the walls originates?
There must be plastic surgeons doing ball sac tucks?

[halliday]

Not yet. My dick still hangs lower than my balls.
Is that something to look forward to aging?
Is that where the new expression balls to the walls originates?
There must be plastic surgeons doing ball sac tucks?

Nut tuck.

[bennymac]

Wtf is telemark peeing?

[halliday]

Wtf is telemark peeing?

Drop a knee squat to pee?

[Core Shot]

Drop a knee squat to pee?

Bingo.
Before the telemark joke I called it a Phil Donahue.

PS. Every wife would love us to squat pee. Our splatter when standing is a constant annoyance. Alleviated by sharing in bathroom cleaning chores.
But I only sit when it’s middle of the night half asleep.

PPS. This is getting gross. Can we get back to pillows or useless holiday decorations?

Anyone else dealing with seasonal pillows? wtf.

[yeahman]

I've known guys who pull their pants down below their ass when standing to pee. Raised by women, no dad around.

[bennymac]

People seriously go down on one knee to pee? Never heard of such a thing

[Core Shot]

People seriously go down on one knee to pee? Never heard of such a thing

It’s a telemark insult joke. Male tele dudes squat to pee. Either outside or on the throne. Woosh.
No pee in the tele position.

[Meconium]

A friend recommended I try shitting with my skis on. That was a gross mistake. Never again.

[Core Shot]

A friend recommended I try shitting with my skis on. That was a gross mistake. Never again.

I think your problem was French fry
Try pizza wedge next time.

[PB]

Warning: do NOT release the sphincter until mid-way through a massive huck.

[Woodsy]

Not to take away from the pee & poop discussion and isnt ther a sit to pee thread?

Why do wives like so much STUFF. Christmas really brings it out, we need to bring out the Christmas themed knickknacks and throw pillows, but the normal all season throw pillows & knick knacks cant get put away....

I try not to asign gender norms, but I have never known a man, gay or straight, who gave a shit about throw pillows on the couch, chair, bed, etc.

[Diamond Joe]

Circling back to the pillows, as this 1/2 of this thread does...

We have 8 pillows on the bed. Two ACTUAL pillows (Purple FTW), two "hugging" pillows, two "knee" pillows (that are actually those H-shaped, specific knee pillows) and two decorative pillows. I use (and love) my Purple pillow, and will occasionally use the knee one (if I sleep on my side). The others get kicked off to the side. Meanwhile HER "hug" pillow every night, without fail, ends up in the middle of the bed, usually with a cat on it, taking up a full 1/3 of the (queen) bed.
I have literally my body width of room to sleep on and can't even roll over onto a new spot to get cool (I sleep super hot). I'm thinking about buying a king size bed to alleviate this issue but will that just mean MORE pillows?

[riser4]

I advise against a king. To quote my late father in law, you could be divorced quite comfortably in a king sized bed. I like it when my wife and i stay in a hotel with queen sized beds. We have a fully split king sized sleep number bed at home so it's like the grand canyon between us. The fact that we use toppers with different thicknesses doesn't help.

[Core Shot]

I’m so old I remember life before body pillows.
We called it spooning.