Neighbors...

[Skidog]

We used to live in a small townhouse complex. There wasn't a ton of parking inside, so some people had to park on the street outside the complex. The neighbor across the cul-de-sac from us had three vehicles, with the third being a rusty old Chev that was basically used for dump runs. How a family of 5 managed to always have a truck full of garbage(that couldn't be recycled or get picked up on garbage day) is beyond me. This truck was always parked on the street outside, and unfortunately that happened to be right outside our kitchen window. And always have some kind of junk in it, whether that is a broken bed frame, TV stand, or old kids toys. It only moved once it became too full of garbage so that it had to be driven out somewhere and emptied.
This gentleman also sat on the condo board with my wife. About 8 months prior, a new couple moved in and started slowly taking over the board and the complex through lies and bullying, but that's another story.
So one day I decided that the best course of action would be not to confront the owners, but to do something petty and underhanded that I could laugh about every day. So I bought a big bag of birdseed. And every afternoon as I drove home, I would toss a handful in the box or around the truck.
Fast forward about 12 months, and we've sold the condo and moved to a different town. We invite some friends from the condo(who also sat on the board) over to our new house. He begins to tell us about how our old neighbor would complain at meetings about the birds in their neghborhood because they were always shitting all over his truck.

Thanks for the laugh. I dig passive aggressive shit.

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[Thaleia]

Yeah that's pretty good. Gonna keep that idea in my back pocket!

[plugboots]

I haven’t read all of this thread, but I used to have a nice enough, but weird neighbor until last September when he moved. Our new neighbors are a nice young couple and the guy works for the forest service. If you don’t know, we’ve had a shit ton of fires here, but one started only a quarter-mile away and went up big and fast, and the wind was blowing our way, and this neighbor guy sent three helicopters on it ASAP and put that thing out.
I just wanna say that I have a cool neighbor, and a definite upgrade from the old guy that mowed his dirt early every Sunday morning.

[Wrecked]

Someone here posted a story once … maybe it’s in this thread… that he kept putting a little bit of oil under an asshole neighbors car…. Resulting in many confusing trips to the dealership…

Like the birdseed… that too was gold.

And my neighbors are all totally awesome.
We all get along. I parked 12 cars in my neighbors front lawn Saturday for a party at my house. Everyone on this little corner is super cool.

[HellgateBasement]

So one day I decided that the best course of action would be not to confront the owners, but to do something petty and underhanded that I could laugh about every day. So I bought a big bag of birdseed. And every afternoon as I drove home, I would toss a handful in the box or around the truck.

We're experiencing some birdseed terrorism at our new apartment rental that made me think of this thread. The flat roofline of our ground floor unit sticks out past the exterior wall of the upstairs neighbor, and we have skylights in each of the bedrooms back there - including directly over our bed. Pretty much every morning since we moved in we've woken up to the (late 40's?) couple upstairs throwing birdseed onto the flat roof, attracting a flock of pigeons that loudly stomp around on and shit all over the skylights. The landlord apparently had the same issue with them before so they know it's disruptive. I'm trying to get into some kind of a zen mental state before I go over there, but we're expecting our first kid in a month, and if these fucking pigeons wake him up everyday I'm going to lose my goddamn mind.

/rant

[riser4]

We're experiencing some birdseed terrorism at our new apartment rental that made me think of this thread. The flat roofline of our ground floor unit sticks out past the exterior wall of the upstairs neighbor, and we have skylights in each of the bedrooms back there - including directly over our bed. Pretty much every morning since we moved in we've woken up to the (late 40's?) couple upstairs throwing birdseed onto the flat roof, attracting a flock of pigeons that loudly stomp around on and shit all over the skylights. The landlord apparently had the same issue with them before so they know it's disruptive. I'm trying to get into some kind of a zen mental state before I go over there, but we're expecting our first kid in a month, and if these fucking pigeons wake him up everyday I'm going to lose my goddamn mind.

/rant

Dogshit under the door handle. Duh.

[fatnslow]

We're experiencing some birdseed terrorism at our new apartment rental that made me think of this thread. The flat roofline of our ground floor unit sticks out past the exterior wall of the upstairs neighbor, and we have skylights in each of the bedrooms back there - including directly over our bed. Pretty much every morning since we moved in we've woken up to the (late 40's?) couple upstairs throwing birdseed onto the flat roof, attracting a flock of pigeons that loudly stomp around on and shit all over the skylights. The landlord apparently had the same issue with them before so they know it's disruptive. I'm trying to get into some kind of a zen mental state before I go over there, but we're expecting our first kid in a month, and if these fucking pigeons wake him up everyday I'm going to lose my goddamn mind.

/rant

Just leave a loaf of bread at their front door everyday before they wake up. 9/10 pigeons prefer white spongy bread over seeds.

[lifelinksplit]

Or you could tell them to just hang a birdfeeder to attract something other than flying rats and not be an inconsiderate fuck

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[brutah]

the answer is arson.

[El Chupacabra]

Fence the perimeter of the roof, keep chickens up there. Let the neighbors feed your chickens.

[liv2ski]

the answer is arson.

I like the way you think

[skaredshtles]

Fence the perimeter of the roof, keep chickens up there. Let the neighbors feed your chickens.

[El Chupacabra]

My chicken's breath smells like chicken food!

[fatnslow]

Also try throwing a loaf of bread on top of their roof daily or leave a fisher cat on the roof for a pigeon buffet . Post dimensions and angles here for design consult for proper slingshot

[El Chupacabra]

Also try throwing a loaf of bread on top of their roof daily or leave a fisher cat on the roof for a pigeon buffet . Post dimensions and angles here for design consult for proper slingshot

Or simply trebuchet all your kitchen waste on top of their roof.

If they complain, tell them you're composting and ask why they hate Mother Earth so much.

[HellgateBasement]

Also try throwing a loaf of bread on top of their roof daily or leave a fisher cat on the roof for a pigeon buffet . Post dimensions and angles here for design consult for proper slingshot

Lots of good ideas in this thread. I especially like the idea of introducing a predator into the equation, but a fisher cat is going to be hard to come by here. Best I can do is probably a red fox.

Otherwise I might take a dump in their bike basket in the middle of the night.

[BCMtnHound]

Lots of good ideas in this thread. I especially like the idea of introducing a predator into the equation, but a fisher cat is going to be hard to come by here. Best I can do is probably a red fox.

Otherwise I might take a dump in their bike basket in the middle of the night.

Try one of those plastic owls on your roof perhaps? Put it on a convex base so it moves a bit in the breeze.

[jono]

Or simply trebuchet all your kitchen waste on top of their roof.

If they complain, tell them you're composting and ask why they hate Mother Earth so much.

Pay careful attention to this man. Never slingshot or catapult when you can trebuchet.

[El Chupacabra]

Try one of those plastic owls on your roof perhaps? Put it on a convex base so it moves a bit in the breeze.

Put a couple of those plastic owls up there on motorized rotating pedestals. Place a mirror behind the owls, opposite the neighbors' direction. Place a strobe light shining towards the owls and the mirror. Bonus points for working in a disco ball into the mix.

Plug everything into a light timer, so the disco strobe owls are well illuminated for your neighbors' enjoyment all night long.

If the neighbors complain, tell them in a somber voice, "the owls are not what they seem."

[rideit]

Dogshit under the door handle. Duh.

Teslas ruined that fun…

[fatnslow]

Lots of good ideas in this thread. I especially like the idea of introducing a predator into the equation, but a fisher cat is going to be hard to come by here. Best I can do is probably a red fox.

Otherwise I might take a dump in their bike basket in the middle of the night.

Do you own or have access to a drone ? I think kitchen scrap in your neighbors roof is a pretty solid idea. Just like 6-8 oz a day for 3 week straight should get the idea across or just a friendly knock on the door with a neighborly request. If they drink beer/wine just a sixer or a bottle of wine as a olive branch might help you out if your planning on being there for awhile.
If they say no then is Mf'n game on........

[mcphee]

the answer is arson.

It’s only arson if you’re sloppy


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[muted reborn]

It’s only arson if you’re sloppy


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But how do you light the pigeons on fire and make it look like suicide?

[PB]

Lasers.

[riser4]

Teslas ruined that fun…

Who says I was talking about their car?