Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[riser4]

Or circumcision.

What do you call a poor quality circumcision?

[exsparky]

Nope. In person.

Is it because you have to do "the thumb on the end of a hose" visual or you like start speaking really quietly until the other person moves in and you do a big raspberry in their face?

[zion zig zag]

I blame parents being told not to sleep with their kids for all of the problems in America. The Japanese symbol for river, "kawa," is also the same symbol as where a child sleeps in the house; safely between the river banks of the two parents. They don't even know what a crib is in Japan.

Attachment 397708

I guess now we know where to place blame for all of the problems in Japan.

[TahoeJ]

I remember finding out one of the guys I played football with in high school still slept in his parents bed... and so did his brother.

[Sirshredalot]

I blame parents being told not to sleep with their kids for all of the problems in America. The Japanese symbol for river, "kawa," is also the same symbol as where a child sleeps in the house; safely between the river banks of the two parents. They don't even know what a crib is in Japan.

Attachment 397708

Japan has one of the lowest rates of parenthood of anywhere in the world. While there is an awful lot to admire in their society, I'm not sure that they should be looked to as unquestioned experts in matters of raising kids.

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[neufox47]

Never let a kid sleep in your bed. It's more work for you but stick with it. It can be a tough habit to break if it gets hold.

He didn’t until he was sick. I guess I should have just told the febrile and in pain 2.5 year old who was begging for his parents to harden up and deal with it. Now it’s a habit we have to break, same as the 6 month old who now wants to eat multiple times a night. Currently compromising with me laying on the trundle bed in his room for a bit until he falls back to sleep.

[skaredshtles]

He didn’t until he was sick. I guess I should have just told the febrile and in pain 2.5 year old who was begging for his parents to harden up and deal with it. Now it’s a habit we have to break, same as the 6 month old who now wants to eat multiple times a night. Currently compromising with me laying on the trundle bed in his room for a bit until he falls back to sleep.

Hang in there... they'll be out of the house (maybe) in 18-ish years.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

It’s nice to see that the patriarchy and American exceptionalism are alive and well when it comes to parenting.


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[Timberridge]

It’s nice to see that the patriarchy and American exceptionalism are alive and well when it comes to parenting.


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You got all that out of "they'll be out of the house (maybe) in 18-ish years?"

[hikesalot]

As a mom, please do whatever the fuck works for you. We didn’t co-sleep but at age 3 our son was waking up in the night crying a lot. Solved by putting a twin mattress on the floor next to our bed and when he woke up I’d just reach down and rub his head or hold his hand. We did that for 8 months. Transitioned him back to his bed (full size which was key so one of us could lay next to him a bit if needed and also was useful when he was in our room sleeping but we needed privacy ha) and everything was fine. Up to age 9 or 10 he still liked to snuggle but definitely wanted to be in his own bed to sleep. At 15 he barely talks to me. lol.

OTOH my SIL did the co-sleep thing and her kids also turned out just fine and at 15 also don’t want to sleep in mom and dad’s bed. So yeah, it will be fine either way. DO NOT STRESS about that decision.

{slowly leaves dad thread}

[fatnslow]

As a mom, please do whatever the fuck works for you. We didn’t co-sleep but at age 3 our son was waking up in the night crying a lot. Solved by putting a twin mattress on the floor next to our bed and when he woke up I’d just reach down and rub his head or hold his hand. We did that for 8 months. Transitioned him back to his bed (full size which was key so one of us could lay next to him a bit if needed and also was useful when he was in our room sleeping but we needed privacy ha) and everything was fine. Up to age 9 or 10 he still liked to snuggle but definitely wanted to be in his own bed to sleep. At 15 he barely talks to me. lol.

OTOH my SIL did the co-sleep thing and her kids also turned out just fine and at 15 also don’t want to sleep in mom and dad’s bed. So yeah, it will be fine either way. DO NOT STRESS about that decision.

{slowly leaves dad thread}

My youngest kid just hit a blanket and pillow on the floor. He started in his bed and woke up around 2 and headed straight to the floor. I think lasted about a year around 8 and I didn't stress about it and he's a pretty well adjusted high school senior. Americans need to lighten up, quite a few cultures sleep with their kids and alot of places use one common sleeping room for their whole family. Pretty sure we have the most high school shootings per capita in the world so let's not cast too many stones.

[Yonder_River]

It’s nice to see that the patriarchy and American exceptionalism are alive and well when it comes to parenting.

Relax man. You sound offended that the majority of Dad's here didn't prefer kid's sleeping in their parents beds. And patriarchy has nothing to do with it. I'm willing to bet most wives (including mine for sure) were absolutely on board with it.

He didn’t until he was sick. I guess I should have just told the febrile and in pain 2.5 year old who was begging for his parents to harden up and deal with it. Now it’s a habit we have to break, same as the 6 month old who now wants to eat multiple times a night. Currently compromising with me laying on the trundle bed in his room for a bit until he falls back to sleep.

I shouldn't have said "never", but more along the lines of be careful with it. Especially since you were mentioning lack of sleep. The trundle bed sounds like a great option.


Speaking of sleep or lack of it. Has anyone's kids had night terrors? Our middle child had them for four years - about every night. Woke us up with non-stop crying and screaming on average about five times a night between the 10pm and 3am. Each episode lasted at least 15 minutes and there was very little we could really do to affect the situation. He generally had no recollection of them in the morning. It was torture. Holy shit, that really made me question my sanity and being a father. Then they started gradually started getting better and are now gone. But I hear parasomnia's can return in the late teen years so I'm crossing my fingers that that beast never surfaces again..

[TahoeJ]

You sound offended that the majority of Dad's here didn't prefer kid's sleeping in their parents beds.

Huh? A bunch of us just said it's fine and who cares?

[bodywhomper]

My children have never slept in my parent's bed

[digitaldeaths mom]

At the risk of crashing the fatherhood thread, I would like to add to what one of the moms posted perviously, oops...previously.

Andrew slept with Nubs and me until he was about 8 1/2 because he used to have terrible nightmares. There was a time after a weekend space camp in Brainerd he insisted spacemen were trying to abduct him and take him to their planet. But to echo the other mom--and as you know--Andrew is doing fine these days. He has a nice job and the occasional girlfriend, though I do wish he would settle down with one eventually. Nubs would tell Andrew a bedtime joke each night and since its Christmas time, this was one of his favorites.
"What kind of sheets does the Gingerbread Man sleep on?"
"Cookie sheets."

Merry Christmas from our family to yours this season!

[skaredshtles]

<snip>
"What kind of sheets does the Gingerbread Man sleep on?"
"Cookie sheets."

[MagnificentUnicorn]

You got all that out of "they'll be out of the house (maybe) in 18-ish years?"

No, I didn’t. I got it from reading the last couple of pages in this thread.


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[yeahman]

Yeah, all kids are different, whatever works. [emoji2957]

[TahoeJ]

What's the book where the kid gets nicknamed MilkMan because he stayed on the teet too long?

Edit: Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison.

[exsparky]

No, I didn’t. I got it from reading the last couple of pages in this thread.


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Did you get the part where a 15 year old a 17 year old and two parents were in the same bed?

You were more offended more by kids being in their own bed?

[seano732]

At the risk of crashing the fatherhood thread, I would like to add to what one of the moms posted perviously, oops...previously.

Andrew slept with Nubs and me until he was about 8 1/2 because he used to have terrible nightmares. There was a time after a weekend space camp in Brainerd he insisted spacemen were trying to abduct him and take him to their planet. But to echo the other mom--and as you know--Andrew is doing fine these days. He has a nice job and the occasional girlfriend, though I do wish he would settle down with one eventually. Nubs would tell Andrew a bedtime joke each night and since its Christmas time, this was one of his favorites.
"What kind of sheets does the Gingerbread Man sleep on?"
"Cookie sheets."

Merry Christmas from our family to yours this season!

Sorry, but we’re gonna need some proof of life that DD is in fact ok, and not chained in a footlocker in your basement like the Gimp…. Merry Christmas!

[TahoeJ]

You’re gonna have to buy a DD special edition NFT for $37.

[Woodsy]

Manchester by the Sea was my first good dad cry.

[subtle plague]

Yeah, all kids are different, whatever works. [emoji2957]

Isn't there a whole tgr thread where grown men yearn for giant breasts? Why deny the young man of House Arryn such pleasure?

[Mustonen]

I think most people who were proponents of independent sleep from the get-go were warning of the slippery slope and habits. I know I, at least, am not judging anybody for co-sleeping. I just don’t like it and saw the slippery slope up close and personal and was almost a victim of it.

Teenagers in the bed are gross and a funny ha-ha, but I don’t think anybody is truly worried about that possibility. I wasn’t ever too worried about introducing a toddler or whatever to independent sleep when it became time and two-way communication was possible. I was worried about every. Single. Night. Until that point.

Sheesh. Chill the fuck out. Patriarchy and American exceptionalism? Wtf?