The Fight for the Padded Room (NSFW)

[mtngirl79]

That said, when I pointed out where she had clearly gone wrong (taking a joke seriously and concluding, apparently wrongly--further backed up by the inquiry of moderators, even though it was pretty clear in the original thread--that one photo in particular featured non-consensual nudity) she essentially accused me of endorsing behavior I had explicitly condemned. Throwing that kind of implied accusation around is pretty low. Her reading comprehension sucks, as does her ability to express herself. I really haven't followed all the drama that surrounds her and don't fully understand why others resent her so much, but if that's how she interacts with people I kind of get it.

My concern over the picture in question is that it looks like the woman doesn't know it's being taken, and when consent was questioned, the poster of the picture left the the answer vague, and brushed it off.

If having consent when posting nude pictures was important to the community, the poster would not have left it open for interpretation.

They probably would have been offended at the suggestion of posting without consent, but this was just blown off as joke.

I honestly cannot see how anyone cannot see that picture as potentially non consensual, regardless of their feelings about how important or not it is that nude/sexual pictures don't get posted without consent.

TGR asked the poster if it was consensual and they said it was.

Regardless, the response was left unchallenged for a year, so nobody was particularly concerned. That speaks for the community as a whole.

[Tri-Ungulate]

Coulda been a lot worse.

Yeah I think Messi just wanted to show him who his daddy was. “Here’s your fucking Ballon d’Or pretty boy”

[My Pet Powder Goat]

she essentially accused me of endorsing behavior I had explicitly condemned. Throwing that kind of implied accusation around is pretty low. Her reading comprehension sucks, as does her ability to express herself. I really haven't followed all the drama that surrounds her and don't fully understand why others resent her so much, but if that's how she interacts with people I kind of get it..

This^ in a nutshell.

Unless you agree 100% with her little censorship crusade she attacks you. She does it to everyone. It's a dick move.

[mtngirl79]

Every time I see this commercial I can't help but wonder--if the same thing were done with a female star (soccer or otherwise), would people be OK with it? I have a feeling that there would be all sorts of talk about objectification and how it exemplifies 'rape culture.'

Are you kidding? Women have been objectified just like that for basically, ever.

[Dexter Rutecki]

Nah, I don't think anything was ever really figured out. We were all just posting shit.

Like I said, I think Mtngirl's overall point is generally correct and doesn't receive much consideration, in large part because this place is so overwhelmingly male. I've said it before, but given that the board is now moderated I think TGR needs to own its decisions (since it is making them, passively in some cases) about who is allowed to post and the content. But while I doubt Mtngirl's approach will be productive, I also don't see the point in piling on toward her (especially since some of the sentiment comes from previous threads or experiences people have had with her).

[Dexter Rutecki]

Are you kidding? Women have been objectified just like that for basically, ever.

Just to be clear--let's say there was a commercial featuring a top female athlete. She's only wearing underwear and locked outside her door. A dude sneaks of photo of her, which is then posted all over the internet for everyone in the world to ogle. That would just be seen as a funny ad? I thought non-consensual posting of nude/semi-nude people wasn't cool. But clearly this is meant to be, and has been received as, a funny, harmless commercial. Seems that if it's a man it's OK.

Are you saying women's groups wouldn't be up in arms over a similar ad featuring a nearly naked woman? I don't think so.

And I don't argue the point you made that women have been objectified, I'm curious about why when it's a man there doesn't seem to be an issue with it. IMO it's difficult to have a different standard for men if you don't like the objectification.

[My Pet Powder Goat]

And she's got you....you can't escape the kraken

[Dexter Rutecki]

My concern over the picture in question is that it looks like the woman doesn't know it's being taken, and when consent was questioned, the poster of the picture left the the answer vague, and brushed it off.

If having consent when posting nude pictures was important to the community, the poster would not have left it open for interpretation.

They probably would have been offended at the suggestion of posting without consent, but this was just blown off as joke.

I honestly cannot see how anyone cannot see that picture as potentially non consensual, regardless of their feelings about how important or not it is that nude/sexual pictures don't get posted without consent.

TGR asked the poster if it was consensual and they said it was.

Regardless, the response was left unchallenged for a year, so nobody was particularly concerned. That speaks for the community as a whole.

Yeah, the poster actually explicitly said it was consensual, but then played along with someone else's joke about it. Originally it was pretty clear that he said she was OK with it. We've been over this before--you refused to accept that someone could make the joke that was made. And now this seems to have been explicitly clarified by the mods.

I said awhile ago that you could just ask whoever posted it what the story was. I think you didn't want to do that because creating this ambiguity served your immediate purposes, at the expense of the facts.

You claiming that it was left as an open question for a year is dishonest, as the poster stated clearly, without prompting, that the photo was consensual. I'm not sure if you simply are having trouble reading what was posted or are intentionally distorting posts for your own ends, but either way it doesn't work.

[~mikey b]

Yeah but what are you wearing?

[Dexter Rutecki]

Yeah but what are you wearing?

As a proud feminist I know I should be offended, but I kind of like the attention. And your persistence, big guy.

[~mikey b]

PM sent

[cmcrawfo]

Just to be clear--let's say there was a commercial featuring a top female athlete. She's only wearing underwear and locked outside her door. A dude sneaks of photo of her, which is then posted all over the internet for everyone in the world to ogle. That would just be seen as a funny ad? I thought non-consensual posting of nude/semi-nude people wasn't cool. But clearly this is meant to be, and has been received as, a funny, harmless commercial. Seems that if it's a man it's OK.

Are you saying women's groups wouldn't be up in arms over a similar ad featuring a nearly naked woman? I don't think so.

Its perceived (and to a large extent true) that males have historically been the oppressors, so the whole "if the shoe was on the other foot" argument holds little weight. Ultimately white males still control the balance of power, so basically yes, there are lots of things that will be perceived as "just fine" or "acceptable" in the context of men, but the similar issue or action in the context of women or another minority is less palatable. Our social norms are fucked, on many levels. You all know this because you hang out here. Why this needs to be drawn out and continuously rehashed is beyond me. This is fucking societal issue, not a localized TGR abnormality that needs be moderated out for the sake of humankind.

This is starting to feel like a bit of a circle jerk... is there anything genuinely new or ground breaking that has been added to this discussion in the last 20 page? Besides my nuts?

[mtngirl79]

Yeah, the poster actually explicitly said it was consensual, but then played along with someone else's joke about it. Originally it was pretty clear that he said she was OK with it. We've been over this before--you refused to accept that someone could make the joke that was made. And now this seems to have been explicitly clarified by the mods.

I said awhile ago that you could just ask whoever posted it what the story was. I think you didn't want to do that because creating this ambiguity served your immediate purposes, at the expense of the facts.

You claiming that it was left as an open question for a year is dishonest, as the poster stated clearly, without prompting, that the photo was consensual. I'm not sure if you simply are having trouble reading what was posted or are intentionally distorting posts for your own ends, but either way it doesn't work.

If having consent for the pictures posted was important to the poster and the community, joking about it wouldn't be tolerated.

Remember how people use to joke about getting girls drunk to get laid? Use to be fairly common.

Not so much anymore because now it is not socially accepted like it was.

And the mods just asked about the picture. Hey, dude, did you get consent for that picture?

It's pretty anonymous here. That poster posts a lot of different women but claims to be married.

No idea. Anyone can say anything.
Honestly, your posts on this matter scream gaslighting, so I'm going to take some advice from above and stop addressing your posts on it.

[Dexter Rutecki]

Its perceived (and to a large extent true) that males have historically been the oppressors, so the whole "if the shoe was on the other foot" argument holds little weight. Ultimately white males still control the balance of power, so basically yes, there are lots of things that will be perceived as "just fine" or "acceptable" in the context of men, but the similar issue or action in the context of women or another minority is less palatable. Our social norms are fucked, on many levels. You all know this because you hang out here. Why this needs to be drawn out and continuously rehashed is beyond me. This is fucking societal issue, not a localized TGR abnormality that needs be moderated out for the sake of humankind.

This is starting to feel like a bit of a circle jerk... is there anything genuinely new or ground breaking that has been added to this discussion in the last 20 page? Besides my nuts?

I thought of that--the idea that it's acceptable to objectify a guy that way because of the social/historical context. And I kind of accept it. My thought is just that it is hard to have different standards if you want to eradicate (or reduce) the behavior. This idea (and the commercial) is obviously a very minor sideline issue, I just found it interesting.

[Dexter Rutecki]

Honestly, your posts on this matter scream gaslighting,

To you, maybe, but I have only pointed out what seems clear from what was posted. Like I said, you have a different agenda, so it's probably best for what you're trying to do that you ignore some of the facts.

[mtngirl79]

Just to be clear--let's say there was a commercial featuring a top female athlete. She's only wearing underwear and locked outside her door. A dude sneaks of photo of her, which is then posted all over the internet for everyone in the world to ogle. That would just be seen as a funny ad? I thought non-consensual posting of nude/semi-nude people wasn't cool. But clearly this is meant to be, and has been received as, a funny, harmless commercial. Seems that if it's a man it's OK.

Are you saying women's groups wouldn't be up in arms over a similar ad featuring a nearly naked woman? I don't think so.

And I don't argue the point you made that women have been objectified, I'm curious about why when it's a man there doesn't seem to be an issue with it. IMO it's difficult to have a different standard for men if you don't like the objectification.

Because male athletes are taken seriously for their athletic abilities first. They are athletes first.

Women hardly get any coverage at all, and most of what they do get is about how they look.

http://www.espn.com/espnw/voices/art...erage-olympics

[Rossymcg]

This^ in a nutshell.

Unless you agree 100% with her little censorship crusade she attacks you. She does it to everyone. It's a dick move.

1 simple quick question, why don't you block her?

Sent from my SM-G930F using TGR Forums mobile app

[Bromontana]

[~mikey b]

If having consent for the pictures posted was important to the poster and the community, joking about it wouldn't be tolerated.

Remember how people use to joke about getting girls drunk to get laid? Use to be fairly common.

Not so much anymore because now it is not socially accepted like it was.

And the mods just asked about the picture. Hey, dude, did you get consent for that picture?

It's pretty anonymous here. That poster posts a lot of different women but claims to be married.

No idea. Anyone can say anything.
Honestly, your posts on this matter scream gaslighting, so I'm going to take some advice from above and stop addressing your posts on it.

People still joke about getting girls drunk to get laid. It’s common unfortunately.

Mods aren’t paid security looking out for everything. They are just peeps trying to help keep the peace and do tech stuff if they can.

It is pretty anonymous here but mostly people are real. You can find out who people are with a few PMs if you need to. You aren’t hiding who you are any more than I am, but I still don’t know your name.

I don’t understand why some guys post what they post. I think the porn thing here is odd. Why? But I don’t really care because I can ignore it with no trouble.

I do not know the term “gaslighting”. What does it mean?

I understand that it is different being a woman in this society. We don’t have to look beyond our president to know there is a problem in American society. I just read a story about Miss America that blew my mind.

[Dexter Rutecki]

Because male athletes are taken seriously for their athletic abilities first. They are athletes first.

Women hardly get any coverage at all, and most of what they do get is about how they look.

http://www.espn.com/espnw/voices/art...erage-olympics

First, I think the fact that he's an athlete has little to do with the question of how the scenario is portrayed and received. The same kind of ad could have featured any famous person, IMO.

But I personally would say that it isn't true that most female athletes are known primarily for their looks. There are exceptions (Anna Kournikova), but if I think about the top female athletes I don't think it's their looks that get them most of their coverage. Venus Williams? Serena Williams? Mikaela Shiffrin? Dara Torres? LPGA women? Even Lindsey Vonn, I would argue, gets a lot more attention for her 78 WC wins than for her looks--although she clearly presents herself, sometimes, in a way that draws attention to her looks.

Saying as you did that most of the coverage of female athletes is about their looks seems very untrue--I've seen dozens of Shiffrin's races on TV, for example, and basically none of the coverage (even off-snow stuff) focused on how she looks. If what you posted is true (most of the coverage female athletes receive is based on how they look) then I wouldn't be seeing what I see every time I watch a women's WC race (and I watch them all the time).

[mtngirl79]

People still joke about getting girls drunk to get laid. It’s common unfortunately.

not as much as they use to? Bad example, then.

Mods aren’t paid security looking out for everything. They are just peeps trying to help keep the peace and do tech stuff if they can.

It is pretty anonymous here but mostly people are real. You can find out who people are with a few PMs if you need to. You aren’t hiding who you are any more than I am, but I still don’t know your name.

It's Julie, and that's kinda my point. People keep saying the poster said it was consensual as if that means 100% it was.

I don’t understand why some guys post what they post. I think the porn thing here is odd. Why? But I don’t really care because I can ignore it with no trouble.

Over and over in this thread and others I have been accused of wanting to rid TGR of porn and it's been suggested I just don't look, etc, etc.

I could care less about "porn". It's the potential, and high likelihood of non consensual pictures I have concerns about.

I do not know the term “gaslighting”. What does it mean?

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, hoping to make them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilize the target and delegitimize the target's belief

I understand that it is different being a woman in this society. We don’t have to look beyond our president to know there is a problem in American society. I just read a story about Miss America that blew my mind.

[My Pet Powder Goat]

1 simple quick question, why don't you block her?

Sent from my SM-G930F using TGR Forums mobile app

Very good, and legitimate, question.

I was thisclose earlier to doing just that.
I don't like blocking anyone. I've blocked Damian Sanders and Ilikecandy alias in all my years here.

I don't mind her contributions here, other then when she goes Femi-nazi

I mean, I get it, we're all pigs. Every. Single. One. Of us. We get it. Just hand me a cross and let's get this over with...

[~mikey b]

I just don’t think you’ll find very much non consensual naughty pictures on here. Maybe elsewhere but not here. People are posting stuff they find on the internet and it’s not meant to expose people who don’t want it. I don’t think you’ll see too many creeper shots of random girls. Maybe I’m wrong.

I think you gaslight yourself. I’m sorry to say that you do seem a bit out of touch and very focused on ME ME ME ME.

If your intention here is to raise awareness you have done so but you haven’t done yourself or your cause any favors. All you’ve done is alienate people and make them not like you or care to listen to you.

You are your own worst enemy.

[~mikey b]

Go skiing. Post some stoke.

[mtngirl79]

I just posted mountain bike stoke a day or so ago.

My ankle can't ski yet