Fu*king Cyclists

**Dantheman** · 05-26-2017, 10:21 AM

Holy shit, I can't imagine what went through that guy's mind when she went by him on the right. There's never a cop around when you need one.

**smartyiak** · 05-26-2017, 10:33 AM

Originally Posted by old goat

Or a rich high school student.

Nope. Construction-ey, 40-SOMETHING looking guy in a POS Chevy S-10 pickup

....it couldn't even be a crew-cab, coal-rolling dually!

**creaky fossil** · 05-27-2017, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by AaronWright

Most likely a Trump supporter.

Surely, since a Sanders/Johnson/Clinton supporter would have shouted, "usurious patriarchal homophobic misogynist!"

**DasBlunt** · 05-27-2017, 01:09 PM

Road riding in the USA sucks. After 1990, everything seemed to change and cars suck.
sell your road bike and carry on.

**old goat** · 05-27-2017, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by Dantheman

It can definitely be a little disorienting at first when you find yourself standing at, say, the corner of E 500 S and S 500 E. Once you learn it though it's grid system FTW all day every day.

central Sacramento is numbers and letters and people still ask for directions. (But our house was near the intersection of 37th St and 39th St. Go figure.)

**BmillsSkier** · 05-31-2017, 08:40 PM

I had an interesting interaction with a Lance Armstrong wannabe and his grumpy band of followers this evening.

I went out for a drive this evening and came to a section where a multi-use path crosses the road. There's several "stop for trail traffic/pedestrians" signs and even blinking LEDs when bikers/hikers/pedestrians come to the crossing. I come to a full and complete stop because I see team USPS coming up to the crossing from the right.

The lead asshole comes to a complete stop himself causing the rest of his matching jersey buddies to nearly rear-end him, just so he could aggressively tell me to go ahead with lots of flailing arm movements.

I point to the Christmas tree level of lighting and signs saying that he and the 7 time Tour champs have the right of way. Now he goes ballistic. He starts yelling, "COME ON, WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!" waving his arms in an even more absurd manner. I'm not sure if it was the roids or the fact that he had one nut, but he was pissed and I'm convinced it wasn't just at me.

By now there was a family on bikes overtaking them on their right, complete with kiddie trailer with either twins or two very homely yorkies in back. They braved the landing strip quality crossing without so much as a stutter-step once they saw a considerate motorist had followed the abundance of traffic signage. This did not sit well with Lance.

Lance's anchor had enough and started to clip in and move past his fellow riders and into the crossing, following the new lead man in the mom jeans dragging his kids behind his sensible cruiser. This is when Lance screamed out, "OH FUCKING DAMNIT!" as he furiously tried to clip in to stay in front of his peon amateur teammate, hilariously missing the pedal and slamming his foot straight down onto the pavement, and startling the poor family just feet ahead of him.

Of course like any good asshole this sent me into a fit of laughter I haven't had since at least that comment about DD's new grey meat seduction manual this morning. Lance did not approve and let me know in no uncertain terms as he awkwardly tried to find the right gear and put one foot in front of the other on his pricey looking road bike screaming, "FUCK YOU!" at me from 10 feet away. I was laughing too hard and pointing at the myriad of stop for trail traffic signs to hear what else he was saying, but man it was worth it.

What makes these cladded up Tour warriors so angry when they should be so happy doing the one thing they presumably love?

**yeahman** · 05-31-2017, 09:01 PM

^^lol. So good I had to read it aloud to my wife.

**The SnowShow** · 05-31-2017, 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

I had an interesting interaction with a Lance Armstrong wannabe and his grumpy band of followers this evening.

I went out for a drive this evening and came to a section where a multi-use path crosses the road. There's several "stop for trail traffic/pedestrians" signs and even blinking LEDs when bikers/hikers/pedestrians come to the crossing. I come to a full and complete stop because I see team USPS coming up to the crossing from the right.

The lead asshole comes to a complete stop himself causing the rest of his matching jersey buddies to nearly rear-end him, just so he could aggressively tell me to go ahead with lots of flailing arm movements.

I point to the Christmas tree level of lighting and signs saying that he and the 7 time Tour champs have the right of way. Now he goes ballistic. He starts yelling, "COME ON, WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!" waving his arms in an even more absurd manner. I'm not sure if it was the roids or the fact that he had one nut, but he was pissed and I'm convinced it wasn't just at me.

By now there was a family on bikes overtaking them on their right, complete with kiddie trailer with either twins or two very homely yorkies in back. They braved the landing strip quality crossing without so much as a stutter-step once they saw a considerate motorist had followed the abundance of traffic signage. This did not sit well with Lance.

Lance's anchor had enough and started to clip in and move past his fellow riders and into the crossing, following the new lead man in the mom jeans dragging his kids behind his sensible cruiser. This is when Lance screamed out, "OH FUCKING DAMNIT!" as he furiously tried to clip in to stay in front of his peon amateur teammate, hilariously missing the pedal and slamming his foot straight down onto the pavement, and startling the poor family just feet ahead of him.

Of course like any good asshole this sent me into a fit of laughter I haven't had since at least that comment about DD's new grey meat seduction manual this morning. Lance did not approve and let me know in no uncertain terms as he awkwardly tried to find the right gear and put one foot in front of the other on his pricey looking road bike screaming, "FUCK YOU!" at me from 10 feet away. I was laughing too hard and pointing at the myriad of stop for trail traffic signs to hear what else he was saying, but man it was worth it.

What makes these cladded up Tour warriors so angry when they should be so happy doing the one thing they presumably love?

🤣🤣
This had to be in Boulder, no?

**BmillsSkier** · 05-31-2017, 09:23 PM

Heh, I had to share this one with the wife and about 10 other people since it happened. It was just so bizarre I felt like I was in PDX, but oddly enough I was along the Chattahoochee River just north of ATL.

**old goat** · 05-31-2017, 11:09 PM

Pack of old fuck Harley riders at a 4 way stop sign who decide 15 motorcycles is one vehicle.

**MagnificentUnicorn** · 05-31-2017, 11:47 PM

Originally Posted by old goat

Pack of old fuck Harley riders at a 4 way stop sign who decide 15 motorcycles is one vehicle.

I think this belongs in the "fucking motorcyclists" thread.

**54-46** · 06-01-2017, 06:46 AM

Originally Posted by AaronWright

I think this belongs in the "fucking motorcyclists" thread.

Ve vill strictly police cyclists und thread drift.

**doebedoe** · 06-01-2017, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

... but oddly enough I was along the Chattahoochee River just north of ATL.

Was going to say -- no way this is Boulder. Cyclists own the road there.

**The SnowShow** · 06-01-2017, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by doebedoe

Was going to say -- no way this is Boulder. Cyclists own the road there.

Many in Boulder own it and act like that douchebag Lance wannabe.

**The Tortoise** · 06-01-2017, 08:24 AM

...complete with kiddie trailer with either twins or two very homely yorkies in back.

I laughed at this.

A strange culture for sure.

**plugboots** · 06-01-2017, 09:05 AM

I kind of wonder why that guy is riding his bike? I love to ride my bikes.
I identify with Pee Wee Herman more than that guy.

**MagnificentUnicorn** · 06-01-2017, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by creaky fossil

Surely, since a Sanders/Johnson/Clinton supporter would have shouted, "usurious patriarchal homophobic misogynist!"

Yes, stereotypes exist for a reason.

**babybear** · 06-01-2017, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by plugboots

I kind of wonder why that guy is riding his bike? I love to ride my bikes.
I identify with Pee Wee Herman more than that guy.

Haha me too. Do you ever say to it "good morning, I'm here"

**plugboots** · 06-01-2017, 09:31 AM

My wife will catch me staring at one of them

**jackstraw** · 06-02-2017, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

I had an interesting interaction with a Lance Armstrong wannabe and his grumpy band of followers this evening.

I went out for a drive this evening and came to a section where a multi-use path crosses the road. There's several "stop for trail traffic/pedestrians" signs and even blinking LEDs when bikers/hikers/pedestrians come to the crossing. I come to a full and complete stop because I see team USPS coming up to the crossing from the right.

The lead asshole comes to a complete stop himself causing the rest of his matching jersey buddies to nearly rear-end him, just so he could aggressively tell me to go ahead with lots of flailing arm movements.

I point to the Christmas tree level of lighting and signs saying that he and the 7 time Tour champs have the right of way. Now he goes ballistic. He starts yelling, "COME ON, WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!" waving his arms in an even more absurd manner. I'm not sure if it was the roids or the fact that he had one nut, but he was pissed and I'm convinced it wasn't just at me.

By now there was a family on bikes overtaking them on their right, complete with kiddie trailer with either twins or two very homely yorkies in back. They braved the landing strip quality crossing without so much as a stutter-step once they saw a considerate motorist had followed the abundance of traffic signage. This did not sit well with Lance.

Lance's anchor had enough and started to clip in and move past his fellow riders and into the crossing, following the new lead man in the mom jeans dragging his kids behind his sensible cruiser. This is when Lance screamed out, "OH FUCKING DAMNIT!" as he furiously tried to clip in to stay in front of his peon amateur teammate, hilariously missing the pedal and slamming his foot straight down onto the pavement, and startling the poor family just feet ahead of him.

Of course like any good asshole this sent me into a fit of laughter I haven't had since at least that comment about DD's new grey meat seduction manual this morning. Lance did not approve and let me know in no uncertain terms as he awkwardly tried to find the right gear and put one foot in front of the other on his pricey looking road bike screaming, "FUCK YOU!" at me from 10 feet away. I was laughing too hard and pointing at the myriad of stop for trail traffic signs to hear what else he was saying, but man it was worth it.

What makes these cladded up Tour warriors so angry when they should be so happy doing the one thing they presumably love?

That is gold! Glad I clicked on this thread again! [emoji1]

**BmillsSkier** · 06-03-2017, 12:03 AM

Originally Posted by jackstraw

That is gold! Glad I clicked on this thread again! [emoji1]

Thank you, Multi-Use-Path-rage is an issue that affects us all. I won't be silenced.

**old goat** · 06-03-2017, 09:17 AM

Always amusing when someone on the bike trail tries to block you from passing. OTOH passing people on the bike trail is not a problem I have to worry about anymore. I'm pretty much always the passee these days.

**Benny Profane** · 06-03-2017, 10:00 AM

Ha. Just found this quote in a thread on a road cycling forum about riding in the SLC shitshow.

"I rode in Utah, it was fine. I am pretty sure I got less road rage than just about anywhere else I have lived. Of course, I have mostly ridden in Appalachia, and the people in Appalachia would run their own kids off the road."