Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[Charmander]

I was the gaper yesterday, getting on the lift with my dad and a friend, keep in mind this is a triple, a roomy triple.

I'm looking back and i see pops sit down all the way on the ege of the chair, and im just out in the middle of BFE as the chair just goes on by me.

Now there are no doubts about me being a beater, can't even ride a damn lift hahaha

[TexasGortex]

I'm in stl and this is my home turf. I don't love it but I don't hate it either. And it's 310 ft of vertical by the way. The camo kids do always look like they're having fun.

I'll be out there one more weekend before heading to berthold pass and loveland. Look for me with a black fstop backpack and lime green BD zealot skiis...

Gaper quote from the dude in the ski rental shop when I asked to borrow a stone, "We don't sharpen or wax any of our skis. People would go to fast and you really don't need to on fake snow."

I love their rental equipment maintenance; precisely zero. Set bindings to the minimum and unleash hell.

[jonesy]

I love their rental equipment maintenance; precisely zero. Set bindings to the minimum and unleash hell.

Helmets included.

[mgaffski]

I love their rental equipment maintenance; precisely zero. Set bindings to the minimum and unleash hell.

Hidden Valley is skiing at it's purest. Edges, wax, proper gear and skill are all superfluous.

It's sort of like watching porn instead of having sex with a real woman...not as good as a real mountain but you still get off in the end.

[old goat]

Hidden Valley is skiing at it's purest. Edges, wax, proper gear and skill are all superfluous.

It's sort of like watching porn instead of having sex with a real woman...not as good as a real mountain but you still get off in the end.

I "learned" to ski at 300 foot hills near Detroit. I will say that gear selelction is a lot simpler when the surface is always the same--skier packed manmade--and there's no reason to turn, ever.

[kmkmkmk]

I went skiing at night in St. Louis, MO recently. About 300' of vertical and a bunch of first timers. One of the preferred methods of skiing is to straight line until you get the speed wobbles and yardsale something fierce, then laugh and collect your gear. Very few people can turn or stop.

The bottom of the hill is flat for maybe 30 yards, then a slight uphill embankment to help slow you down/stop you from skiing off the end of the run. Like most man made places, the snow/no snow transition isn't very subtle.

So this poor bastard straight lines from the top, coasts across the flats, runs over some guys tips and fully yardsales about 10' from the end of the run... ramps right off the end, barrel rolls twice in the air, and lands on frozen grass about 25-30' away maybe 8-10' drop? He landed so hard he bounced and got knocked the fuck out (helmet on). It was one of the worst ski crashes I've seen.

He landed in the middle of where all the people are standing.


You can see the angle and size of the drop/ramp/end of run in this picture. The pile of gear to the right is where his yardsale collision went down I'm pretty sure.

That drop off with no ropes looks like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Totally awesome.

[mgaffski]

That drop off with no ropes looks like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Totally awesome.

Out of Bounds at Hidden Valley doesn't require ropes...there's just no snow so the line is pretty obvious.

[TexasGortex]

I "learned" to ski at 300 foot hills near Detroit. I will say that gear selelction is a lot simpler when the surface is always the same--skier packed manmade--and there's no reason to turn, ever.

Ironically that is one of the reasons I only go once every year or two... I have a quiver of (mostly fat and floppy) skis and not a single appropriate one for their snow. The closest are my full on GS skis but the runs aren't really long/steep enough to get enough speed to turn. I suppose I could straight line into a single epic carve at the bottom and try not to kill anyone or launch myself over the moon via the death edge pictured above.

I brought my S3s last time. I chose poorly. I also chose poorly neglecting to keep my edges sharp. You can get away with that a lot easier out west than on the blue ice cube surface.

I learned to ski at a place called Hyland Hills in MN. 150' of vert.

[old goat]

Headline in the Sierra Ski News:

SIA ANNOUNCES GOGGLE GAP PROJECT

http://www.sierraskinews.com/

[mrburns]

I took this on Saturday. If you can't tell that is an instructor with a flashing red light that is made to go on the back of your bike at night. He was also an ass about alternating in from the ski school line..

[Mr.KnowItAll]

Headline in the Sierra Ski News:

SIA ANNOUNCES GOGGLE GAP PROJECT

http://www.sierraskinews.com/

i was hoping they would add "Gaper gap" to the article…..funny still..

[old goat]

i was hoping they would add "Gaper gap" to the article…..funny still..

apparently it's a serious issue. Who knew?

[Angle Parking]

They were having more fun than anyone I've ever seen on a real mountain. I'm pretty sure they were having a better time than most of us would with a helicopter and 6 feet of snow. Camo or not, that gets respect.

Respect for sure. The Mack Truck jacket / jean wearing redneck crowd wins in the fun department around these parts.

[pfluffenmeister]

Words can not describe the level of Gaperdom these 2 fellows have achieved.

but now the kid on the right can do an udder butter.

[spook]

next year i'm going to do the spontaneous miscarriage scene from "orca." i'll drag the tiny aborted orca fetus on an umbilical cord behind me.

[kailas]

I would never admit I ever even looked at a 300 ft 'ski hill', talk about gapers. Too bad the west isn't a separate country, then we could have Immigrations control against the gaper filled east.

[nemophilist]

New here! I've got quite a lot of gaper quotes and stories, but heres one that happened recently:

Was riding up the main lift at Beaver Creek as a single with some tourists. Two probably thirteen year old girls were next to me with their PRISTINE new white and tight ski pants and their battery operated heated gloves. The entire way up they were fussing with them because they weren't warm enough, even though it was a pretty balmy day. Then one of them starts b***ching that her brand new white pants got a "smudge" on them. I looked down at my beat to s**t and dirty pants and my held-together-by-ducktape work gloves and couldn't help but laugh.

[old goat]

New here! I've got quite a lot of gaper quotes and stories, but heres one that happened recently:

Was riding up the main lift at Beaver Creek as a single with some tourists. Two probably thirteen year old girls were next to me with their PRISTINE new white and tight ski pants and their battery operated heated gloves. The entire way up they were fussing with them because they weren't warm enough, even though it was a pretty balmy day. Then one of them starts b***ching that her brand new white pants got a "smudge" on them. I looked down at my beat to s**t and dirty pants and my held-together-by-ducktape work gloves and couldn't help but laugh.

I had been backpacking and climbing for years when I took my cousin on his first backpacking trip. On the second day we were climbing a steep slope at the end of a day of clambering over big trees that had been knocked down by avalanches. I looked back at my cousin who was wearing a dark look and muttering angrily to himself. I thought to myself "I've pushed him too hard, he'll never want to backpack again, he'll hate me." Finally I worked up the nerve to ask him what was the matter. Turns out he was upset that his new boots were getting muddy. Stranger still, once I explained to him that that was normal he was completely cool with it and didn't complain again the whole trip. 30 years later we still ski and hike together.

[jonesy]

http://www.pinkbike.com/video/148576/

[stuckathuntermtn]

I had been backpacking and climbing for years when I took my cousin on his first backpacking trip. On the second day we were climbing a steep slope at the end of a day of clambering over big trees that had been knocked down by avalanches. I looked back at my cousin who was wearing a dark look and muttering angrily to himself. I thought to myself "I've pushed him too hard, he'll never want to backpack again, he'll hate me." Finally I worked up the nerve to ask him what was the matter. Turns out he was upset that his new boots were getting muddy. Stranger still, once I explained to him that that was normal he was completely cool with it and didn't complain again the whole trip. 30 years later we still ski and hike together.

That's kinda weird, but also really cool.

Hey new guy: just swear, curse, or whatever. Fuck, shit, piss. See?

[From_the_NEK]

That's kinda weird, but also really cool.

Hey new guy: just swear, curse, or whatever. Fuck, shit, piss. See?

Quit your bitching

[cyborg]

I've had two weekends full of Nebraskans decked out in their full hunting garb, on rental skis that are steps away from snollerblades, hooting and hollering as they fly uncontrollably down the blue runs. They have the best time, are super nice and laid back (not trying to show off or speed in front of you at the lifts), and are amazed when they see someone ride switch or zipper line bumps. Plus, they stick to the groomers, leaving the goods less tracked! Probably my favorite crowd to see show up.

I would never admit I ever even looked at a 300 ft 'ski hill', talk about gapers. Too bad the west isn't a separate country, then we could have Immigrations control against the gaper filled east.

Yeah it'd be awesome. All the bums out here would put so much money into the local economy!

Without getting too deep into the economics of it, all the vacationing gapers put a lot of money into the economy. If you're tired of seeing all the skicationers, go to a less crowded mountain or better yet, gas up the sled or put some skins on.

[daviski]

I have hired two other gapers and our triple duo have found this thread has started to suck

-- now in addition to people relating what a texan has said about their skis or worn on the slopes, and what your girlfriend innocently asked before you ditched her for the day, now we have to deal with idiots blathering on about whatever they like to fight about in other threads...

[cyborg]

There's even people bitching about how much this thread sucks!

[MakersTeleMark]

Was watching the X Games the other day, and the guy next to me commented about why the skiers in the pipe even have poles. The guy next to him asked, "Do the snowboarders use poles?".