Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**Shadam** · 12-30-2012, 07:38 PM

der poopenhousen ???

**TahoeJ** · 12-30-2012, 08:44 PM

Nothing wrong with people who just want to ride groomers, but *complaining* about powder is a gaper move all the way. You can get your fucking fresh groomers almost every day from November through April (even on a powder day). When it snows, it snows, so STFU.

**neufox47** · 12-30-2012, 09:14 PM

Found a guy unconscious after apparently hitting moguls on his snowblades at the end of the day at Squaw. Dude was out for a solid 90-120 seconds that I was there and probably a minute that I wasn't. His wife comes down and sees me kneeling over him and wants to shake him. I explain not to touch him. He comes to and she starts encouraging him to get up and tells me thank you but they don't need any help. I had already called for patrol and they get there and she refuses all assistance. Dude was KTFO for two minutes, had no idea where he was, and she refuses him medical treatment because he's "a strong Russian". Patrol also explained to her that her husband could die. Hope that dude was ok. It was so ridiculous that I wonder if she has a big insurance policy on him or something.

Oh, they were dressed head to toe in .... Bogner.

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**Gman** · 12-31-2012, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by Hugh Conway

Who's the gaper brah'd out with pack and touring poles to ski Killington? GSA's brother?

That would be me, left the regular poles at home and didn't want to leave my bag in the lodge since I already had someone try and swipe it once.

**Gman** · 12-31-2012, 07:57 AM

Also there is no avy gear in the pack, just my lunch and a jacket. I'm not sponsored by moment and its not even an airbag pack.

**old goat** · 12-31-2012, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by Cold_Smokin'

What, am I the only one who yells YEE HAW blastin' through pow?

Riding the old Collins lift at Alta on a full on powder day first thing in the morning I hear two guys whooping. I look up, I look left, I look right--but no one had gotten up Germania yet and no skiers and no tracks to be seen. Then I look down to see two guys in cowboy hats whooping up a storm on the flat groomer under the lift , snow plowing. Gotta hand it to them--I wish I could that much fun that easily.

On the subject of Billy Ray Cyrus, etc--I heard a great song "It's Not Country, It's Just Bad Rock and Roll". Wish I could remember who did it. I like Dwight, though.

**guroo270** · 12-31-2012, 11:33 AM

weak.....

spook · 12-31-2012, 11:43 AM

i like yoakam as a singer/songwriter and actor. it's modern pop country that makes me want to yak.

**Man Jerk** · 12-31-2012, 12:58 PM

Hank III is great to ski too. Not your average country though...

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**steventy** · 01-03-2013, 03:21 AM

I was walking to work today and young fellow was walking in the other direction, headed out for a day of skiing. He was fully dressed for the occasion and was wearing his ski boots (not touring boots) and carrying his skis. I was in the middle of the public transit system and I have no idea how far he had commuted at this point. He took a few steps onto a very long linoleum walkway and lost his footing. Assuming he made it to the end of the walkway, he still needed to take the elevator or escalator, walk up or down a long ramp, board a ferry, walk up or down another ramp, board a bus, and walk to the tram. He desperately needed a pair of sneakers or flip flops.

**Dubbah** · 01-03-2013, 06:47 AM

Overheard at REI last weekend:
Shopper: I'm headed to Utah this February.
REI employee: oh yeah, where in Utah?
Shopper: Aspen

**chatton18** · 01-03-2013, 08:07 AM

mmmm California

spook · 01-03-2013, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by Dubbah

Overheard at REI last weekend:
Shopper: I'm headed to Utah this February.
REI employee: oh yeah, where in Utah?
Shopper: Aspen

are you sure there's no aspen, utah?

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...h-What-a-Crock

**old goat** · 01-03-2013, 08:59 AM

In the crowded lift maze of the 6 person summit chair at Alpine meadows:
Lift op: How many in your group?
Master of the universe type guy: 7

(maybe we need a new thread for asshole quote of the weekend)

**Dubbah** · 01-03-2013, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by spook

are you sure there's no aspen, utah?

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...h-What-a-Crock

Well then...Jong me sideways...
On a side note, that John Denver was full of shit.

**Millsie** · 01-03-2013, 03:34 PM

I was with a Childrens group of cancer survivors last week at Grand Geneva, Wi. One girl asked another "Do they have snow in the summer?"

**PNWbrit** · 01-03-2013, 03:41 PM

Guy screaming at the young girl running cash register at the base lodge espresso stand at Xtal this past weekend. That, "WiFi didn't work". That he could, "see their guest network" but, "not the WWW". That when his WiFi did that at home he, "just reboots the router". She needed to, "get on the radio to tell someone immediately".

Her... "sir, I just ring up people's espresso drinks, they don't give me a radio for that."

**old goat** · 01-03-2013, 04:20 PM

Getting ready to unload scott chair at Alpine Meadows--boarder next to me tells his friend--I'm two for five. I made sure to give a wide berth unloading. He didn't fall but didn't know how to turn--stopped by going up the rise opposite the unloading ramp and sliding backwards back down. I did appreciate the heads up.

**old goat** · 01-03-2013, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by PNWbrit

Guy screaming at the young girl running cash register at the base lodge espresso stand at Xtal this past weekend. That, "WiFi didn't work". That he could, "see their guest network" but, "not the WWW". That when his WiFi did that at home he, "just reboots the router". She needed to, "get on the radio to tell someone immediately".

Her... "sir, I just ring up people's espresso drinks, they don't give me a radio for that."

yep--we definitely need an asshole quote of the weekend thread.

**MontuckyFried** · 01-03-2013, 04:23 PM

I don't always rag on gapers, as I understand everyone's gotta start somewhere. However, gapers that are also dicks might deserve to be laughed at.

Was at Showdown last week, when I saw a couple dudes in the lodge at lunch having a not so friendly conversation:

Innocent gaper: "Man, my feet are killing me!" (Proceeds to pop off the stirrups on his ancient ski pants/long undies/whatever they were; then pulls the little built in gators on his snow pants up...apparently he had them INSIDE his boots; poor guy winces in pain)
Mean gaper: "DUDE! What are you doing?! You have to have those INSIDE your boots to keep the snow out! (Proceeds to yell at his friend for being an idiot and what not, being a complete dick to his friend)

I wanted to say something to innocent gaper, at least to tell him his friend was wrong, and that he was right to put them on the outside, but I bit my tongue and carried on my merry way.

Not even an hour later, I had to go back to the lodge and there was Mean gaper, hanging on to one of the ski racks in agony. There he was pulling his boots off, and saying he was done for the day as his feet just couldn't take it any longer, and went on to curse his rental boots. I couldn't help but chuckle a bit at his self-inflicted misfortune after he was such a jerk to his friend about that very thing.

**BrianH** · 01-03-2013, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

No way, greg probably would have his old Bogner onesy and a beavertail. Probably be rocking slalom skis or some kind of high performance carver. And a Snooky or something from NJ would be his date.

I never did understand skiing in jeans. I mean, I get it, you're not a big skier, but why do you want to be wet and cold?

In the 70s, when skiing in jeans was pretty much the law, it only sucked until the melted snow refroze and created a nice windshield on the pant legs. Then you were stylee as long as your face wasn't too contorted with pain when your toes thawed out that evening.

**justr** · 01-04-2013, 03:20 AM

We were headed up a lift at jakobshorn in davos in the am after a few fresh inches that made the couple hundred meters of necessary on piste passably fun.

German couple rides with a friend and says, full of disgust, "yeah we were at parsenn before but came over here because the snow was terrible. Can you believe the piste wasn't groomed yet!"

**markcjr** · 01-04-2013, 05:50 AM

At alpine meadows, CA on the sun deck at 3:30 when there's no sun and no people/kids. A girl talking to our group is smoking a cig. I don't smoke and she wasn't bothering me and was concious of no kids being around. A douche walks up and says "there's no smoking on the deck", stares at her, says it again and then proceeds to try to what the cigarette out of her hand with his pole

choke on a bag of dicks douche monger

**Benny Profane** · 01-04-2013, 07:38 AM

I i just got a good laugh from the comment section of this article: http://unofficialnetworks.com/dozen-...n-pico-114527/

Somebody said "I think it's time to finally start putting shock collars on all the gapers out there."

**gramboh** · 01-04-2013, 07:55 PM

Originally Posted by markcjr

At alpine meadows, CA on the sun deck at 3:30 when there's no sun and no people/kids. A girl talking to our group is smoking a cig. I don't smoke and she wasn't bothering me and was concious of no kids being around. A douche walks up and says "there's no smoking on the deck", stares at her, says it again and then proceeds to try to what the cigarette out of her hand with his pole

choke on a bag of dicks douche monger

Dude was a dick, but fuck off with cigs in public spaces like that, it pisses people off whether you realize it or not.