The Gaper Spirit Animal

[wolfelot]

Wow. Just Wow. All time greatest TGR thread that I have witnessed. Thank you to everybody.

[SimB]

I am honored to have been this close to this divine being, I walked the very ground were he stood just a few days prior to his appearance. Clearly it was not yet my time to be blessed with his presence.

[Turnipking]

Excellent, the long-prophecied right-foot-up GSA Stance. It appears that He has fully crossed over to the spirit realm, now that the goal of Alaska has been achieved. We can all only aspire to a tenth of such greatness. Believe.

Having trained for and skied Alaska, what lies next for the GSA? Who else will he grace with his presence? Is it time for him to leave the continent and explore regions unknown? Will Europe shine next with his glory? South America? Nepal?

I believe

[Zeedashbo]

Battle mode indeed. I will repeat this as my mantra evermore.

[rideit]

I hope he takes up DH riding.
The Pass?
Diablo?
Burro?
Whistler?

[Glacierdemon]

When did the TGR website become a place to put down fellow riders? Forget your silly ego trip and move on, maybe there is somebody else less fortunate you can take your insecurities out on And maybe focus on the skiing/snowboarding aspect of this website. I'm surprised there are this many people contributing to such a negative and POINTLESS thread. Its just mean guys, move along and leave the guy alone. Go ski something

[snowswine]

^^^You must not have gotten the memo, noone here actually skies. Well maybe a long weekend in February, sometimes....

[flatNshallow]

When did the TGR website become a place to put down fellow riders? Forget your silly ego trip and move on, maybe there is somebody else less fortunate you can take your insecurities out on And maybe focus on the skiing/snowboarding aspect of this website. I'm surprised there are this many people contributing to such a negative and POINTLESS thread. Its just mean guys, move along and leave the guy alone. Go ski something

Sending you a case of "SandAway".

[Son-of-Pbville]

Thank you brother Freeheel, we are truly not worthy and must start to train for "Battle Mode" in conjunction with Alaska. The GSA teaches us so subtlety..... quite amazing indeed.

Angry Lesbian ---- don't be mad just read back through the sacred text of the GSA and you will find that the acronym G. S. A. includes you as well. As long as you are willing to make an alliance with your non-dyke sisters.

And to the guy who comments on what TGR has become on his first post. Seriously? That doesn't even make sense.

[Talking Monkey]

Just saw this on CleanSnipe:
http://thedeal.cleansnipe.com/gaper-day-guide/

Scroll down to "Big Talking Gaper"

[splat]

Prayer to guard against demons...


Maggotesians 6:12-18

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Including Valdez.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole body armour of the Gaper Spirit Animal, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. And ski.

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth from thine harness fitting too tightly, and having on the contour of righteousness;

15 And your feet shod, one toe up, with the preparation of the gospel of powder;

16 Above all, taking the first tracks of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the gopros of the Gaper Spirit Animal, which is the word.

18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Gaper Spirit Animal, and watching on vimeo thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.

Amen.

[TBS]

Just saw this on CleanSnipe:
http://thedeal.cleansnipe.com/gaper-day-guide/

Scroll down to "Big Talking Gaper"

He's becoming an Internet Meme!

I would definitely ski with Time Warp Gaper

[drdevon]

FYI to all you jerks out there sitting on your computers making fun of this guy because he's wearing something different than the rest of you sheep, he's in Alaska tearing up some sick pow lines. Witch is more extreme than anything any of you butt wipes will ever do. So who's the gapper now? Go jib another rail! Sick bro.

When did the TGR website become a place to put down fellow riders? Forget your silly ego trip and move on, maybe there is somebody else less fortunate you can take your insecurities out on And maybe focus on the skiing/snowboarding aspect of this website. I'm surprised there are this many people contributing to such a negative and POINTLESS thread. Its just mean guys, move along and leave the guy alone. Go ski something

How amazingly Sun Tzu. I am agape with wonder.

[TBS]

When did the TGR website become a place to put down fellow riders? Forget your silly ego trip and move on, maybe there is somebody else less fortunate you can take your insecurities out on And maybe focus on the skiing/snowboarding aspect of this website. I'm surprised there are this many people contributing to such a negative and POINTLESS thread. Its just mean guys, move along and leave the guy alone. Go ski something

Greg, I thought you didn't tolerate aliai at AlpineZone. Why did you create this one here?

[pfluffenmeister]

I thank the GSA for all He has done and for the opportunities He has given, and humbly submit the following stoke in His honor. I will retire now, my work is done and surely no experience hence forth will ever compare.

harness, check.
orange pants, check.
right foot up, check.
stancing, check.

Were any of these tracks made by the GSA? Do any of your Guiding Brethren have photos or vid of his shredding?

perhaps, what appear to be farmed pow tracks are actually the tracks of freeheel being followed and watched over by the all-skiing GSA.

Powdertracks in the Snow

One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was skiing AK Spines with the GSA
and acr
oss the sky flashed scenes from my GoPro.
For each scene I noticed two sets of ski tracks,
one belonged to me and the other to the GSA.
When the dual GoPro final edit of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the ski tracks in the pow.
I noticed that many times down the spines of my heli trip,
there was only one set of ski tracks.
I also noticed that it happened at the very gnarliest
and most puckered times in my run.
This really bothered me and I questioned the GSA about it.
"GSA, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would ski with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome runs in my heli trip
there is only one set of ski tracks.
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me."
The GSA replied, "My precious, precious maggot,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of death cookies and sastrugi.
When you saw only one set of ski tracks,
it was then that I carried you, cradled in my harness."

[BassBone]

Forget your silly ego trip and move on, maybe there is somebody else less fortunate you can take your insecurities out on

'

wait, we're supposed to take our insecurities out on less fortunate people? ok!!!



PS: Freeheel, you're incredible. Thank you so much for your contributions to this thread. True believers know it is nowhere near pointless.

I assume the stance, face AK. Battle mode.

[splat]

Wow. Like Saint Freeheel skied it and thought he was alone but, when he looked back, there were two sets of tracks?

I hope someone is getting all this on scrolls!

[stuckathuntermtn]

So he made it to AK after all the training. What now? Will he become self-aware while bored at work one day and surfing for stoke? These are important metaphysical quandaries.

[carpathian]

The GSA preincarnate I had the honour of training under dropped skiing on a days notice and relocated to Vegas to pursue a career in rock climbing. Bouldering specifically. Currently pulling V14...

[HansJob]

At first I was a non-believer. Now I see that all things are possible in the eyes of the GSA.

[TahoeJ]

Dear lurkers who have never posted before: fuck off with your opinions, no one here gives a shit what you think. Unless of course you want to pay your respects to the GSA or his prophets like Freeheel - that's a perfectly acceptable reason to post for the first time, as others have been inspired to do. Mmmkay?

I've been thinking. With Alaska in the bag, what if the GSA goes to Chamonix next? With the harness then becoming potentially useful and appropriate, would he no longer be a proper vessel and the GSA would be forced to find a new vessel to inhabit?

[johngenx]

Cham? Hell no! That's a step down from AK.

"Training for K2!"

[gingerbeardman]

My own early pilgrimage to the hallowed tracks of rabbit this morning (remembering to ski cut before dropping in) was clearly not the only offering to the GSA here on this most sacred of days.

Yea upon ascending to the peak of whistler mountain, we were shown the true depth of the devotion of the brethren of brother clownshoe - sacrificing as they had one of their own number to appease His mighty wrath.



And also through the rest of the day were seen many eyebrow (and right toe) raising sights in the true spirit of gape. Such as the disciple who had eschewed all garments of weatherproofness and did ski past me on the way to paleface wearing but thermal underwear - even while it puked snow and blew hard enough to slow the mighty big red express. And the silf-like creature in line for the hallowed peak chair in tight denim jeans. And the group of older worshippers lost among the terrace of the tigers and the chutes of VD, with their day-tickets flapping as prayer flags, looking for the green runs.

May they go fast with his spirit - in battle mode.

[reynolds.trailrun]

I believe. I am not worthy to hypothesize his next step in his ascendancy. Training for Nepal seems logical though.

[Jaded Loc]

When the GSA drinks beer and he doesn't always drink beer but when he does he prefers the Banquet Beer. He also drinks in his helmet with his goggles on and while I can't be sure, it looks like he has his avalung in his mouth, it's called being ready A holes.
Fight Like Hell.