Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**TahoeJ** · 01-18-2012, 04:59 PM

Maybe it's just me, but I say calling someone you don't know a "gaper" to his face (unless he's clearly asking for it) is just kind of a dick move. Gapers are to be enjoyed for sure, but more so in the private chuckle kind of way.

**Parvo** · 01-18-2012, 05:25 PM

Not really a quote, or a even a gaper move per se... but watched two folks try to get on Carpenter xpress at The Buck over the weekend with their sleds. Didn't even have lift tickets, and as I watched their interaction with the lift ops, pretty sure English was not their primary lanquage. I think they figured it was a free community snow play park.

Just about every weekend I see someone there trying to board the lift carrying their skis... like no fucking way are they going to be able to board and get off the lift with skis on.

**old goat** · 01-18-2012, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by superstator

Some excellent eavesdropping at Meadows yesterday. But I think my favorite was the two guys arguing about who had heard the better forecast - one thought NOAA had it all figured out, and the other guy was convinced the National Weather Service had a better take. I thought about letting them in on the secret, but they seemed to be enjoying the argument too much.

However, NWS Reno and NWS Sacramento often have significantly different forecasts for exactly the same locations. I pick the one I like the best.

**CMSIV** · 01-18-2012, 09:14 PM

Originally Posted by steezybomber

I wont even list all the comments that were made, it all started with 40s in the parking lots and offering (accepting) a coors lite to a parking attendant.

I will preface this with I was skiing with 3 friends, modified game of GNAR, white tail hill in PA, lange comp 140 boots, 195 AK JJ.

Gaper on Lift: Those are interesting looking skis, mad are they wide and HUGE!
Me: After the required "thats what she said" joke, I explained 5 dimensional skis and I was breaking in skis/boots.
Gaper: What are the different dimensions for?
Me: Smaller tip for groomers, larger mi section for aerodynamics while spinning in air, underfoot for pow, wider rear section for bumps only, and smaller tail for rooster tails at mach ten.
Gaper: Really?! Thats so cool, I should try a pair of those. Do they come in my size?
Me: (I look down, 165s....) Um I dont think so.
Gaper: Whats the backpack for? Were ONLY at white tail.
Me: For gapers like you. I pull out a coors and a knife, stab hole, shotgun, crush can, put in backpack (no one likes to litter), turn up music, and start seeing about some black chicks huge ass.

I'm confused, who's supposed to be the gaper in this story?

**Lamothe** · 01-22-2012, 03:50 AM

last season Gem lake opening at big white. I get up there early and get dibs on first chair. As an hour goes by the line up is about 150 deep. The lift starts spinning everyone is cheering all stoked. This instructor comes by with 3 clients and fucking snakes us all nabbing first chair ( WTF?!) Thankfully about 20ft in the air one of his clients just falls out of the chair in a full belly flop. took her ten minutes to get all her shit together. Ten mins is a long fucking time when over a hundred people are pointing and laughing.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 01-22-2012, 05:18 PM

Snowboarder: "this snow is so dry!" it wasn't, but it was the day before.
Me: "Were you here yesterday?"
Laughing as he says no. I guess you had to be at Snowbowl Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

Thursday was wet. Really wet.
A lot of people on this side of the divide seem to not understand the concept of dry powder.

**Skirotica** · 01-22-2012, 05:36 PM

At bar in Brighton. "if the Ravens win I'll buy everyone's bar tab.". Not a gaper quote but totally worthy of sharing.

**PowerWhore7** · 01-22-2012, 07:51 PM

**Soups** · 01-22-2012, 08:13 PM

^^^I'm so curious...How does the story end?

Just some good ol' fashion jean skiin' on a storm day

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**Kim Jong-un** · 01-22-2012, 10:06 PM

At a ski area in VT that I hate skiing at but found myself at b/c of other circumstances.

Skiing down a green in front of a lift entrance a ~12 yr old girl gets plowed into by a snowboarder who just kept on going. I did not see it happen, but the mother said she was hit hard. She was sprawled on the ground with her equipment all over the place. Along with her mother and one other bystander I stop to see if the girl is OK. As we gathered around the girl, a ski instructor skis by within 5 ft and shouts "You folks probably don't want to stop there, you'll get hit" and keeps skiing down the hill.

I almost thought about running down the instructor and telling her what a fucktard she was.

Later, I checked in with ski patrol and the girl had to go to the hospital in an ambulance for an MRI because of some a-hole boarder.

**linvillegorge** · 01-22-2012, 11:53 PM

"I hope they've groomed all the runs, I don't want to have to deal with a bunch of deep snow."

-overhead from a trophy wife at the Starbucks in Dumont this morning on my way up to Loveland

**PulverSchwein** · 01-23-2012, 12:05 AM

Originally Posted by Lamothe

last season Gem lake opening at big white. I get up there early and get dibs on first chair. As an hour goes by the line up is about 150 deep. The lift starts spinning everyone is cheering all stoked. This instructor comes by with 3 clients and fucking snakes us all nabbing first chair ( WTF?!) Thankfully about 20ft in the air one of his clients just falls out of the chair in a full belly flop. took her ten minutes to get all her shit together. Ten mins is a long fucking time when over a hundred people are pointing and laughing.

hehehe

**Lamothe** · 01-23-2012, 12:24 AM

Originally Posted by PulverSchwein

hehehe

OH MAN! ahah i remember you standing there with a gopro to. Didn't know you were a mag. FknA!

lol so i guess ten minutes in my mind is just over 2 in reality.....guess the wife is right

**PulverSchwein** · 01-23-2012, 12:30 AM

Nah you are the one who's right, I clipped out a good five minutes of her getting her shit together. Wanted to show the bar bonk to the head that the snowboarders with me gave to the hill's photo crew douche patrol as we loaded

**Lamothe** · 01-23-2012, 01:22 AM

Originally Posted by PulverSchwein

Nah you are the one who's right, I clipped out a good five minutes of her getting her shit together. Wanted to show the bar bonk to the head that the snowboarders with me gave to the hill's photo crew douche patrol as we loaded

i didn't even notice that . What an asshat. That clip made my day. i bet she wanted to die after that ahah karmas a bitch!

**peds** · 01-23-2012, 07:17 AM

That's some funny stuff right there

Good work, team.

**clubhousebmx** · 01-23-2012, 08:36 AM

Ha that gopro footage is key. At Jay Peak last weekend me and my buddy get on the lift and notice a pair of skis in the snow about 30 ft out and laugh thinking it was a joke or someone put them there, afterall how could someone drop both skis? A few chairs before we unload the lift stops for a minute, we think nothing of it. Get to the top and there's a guy walking to the lifty in his hut saying something to the affect of "hey I'm an idiot and lost both my skis at the bottom can someone bring them up for me?" I wonder how long he had to wait because the lifty sure didn't seem like he wantied to help.

**oftpiste** · 01-23-2012, 11:01 AM

Overheard in the lodge at the end of a day when it pounded snow all day long, "This powder stuff....... I HATE IT! And I'm not being sarcastic!"

**Alexander1310** · 01-23-2012, 11:20 AM

While in the gondi (at Snowbasin) on Saturday I was talking about Gaper Day at Jackson last year and how it was the year of the GaperPro, and was explaining all the awesome costumes.....

Guy wearing the GaperPro (who did not have the initial total appearance of a gaper): "What's a gaper?"

Me: "Ha...huh? (Thinking to myself he can't be serious) Oh nevermind."

GaperPro: No really, is it a really gay person on the mountain?"

Me: "Don't worry about it."

GaperPro: "Come on tell me!"

Me (not wanting to make the remaining 10 minutes on the gondi completely awkward): "Oh it's just a really awkwardly looking person on the mountain."

I can't believe we held it together for the ret of the ride up.

**Singel** · 01-23-2012, 04:06 PM

I can't believe they actually stopped the chair for so long to let her collect her shit and get back on...

**JimmyCarter** · 01-23-2012, 04:30 PM

That video is awesome.

**Johnny Deep** · 01-23-2012, 05:00 PM

Joey looking up at a closed area: I wonder why no one is hitting that.

**Lindahl** · 01-23-2012, 05:10 PM

Originally Posted by Singel

I can't believe they actually stopped the chair for so long to let her collect her shit and get back on...

I know, right? BACK OF THE LINE!

**jonesy** · 01-23-2012, 07:31 PM

Riding up the lift w/ 3 other skiers and I look down and the guy one over from me only has 1 ski on. I said something to him about skiing on 1 ski is a good training drill. He says what do you mean. I said well you only have 1 ski on so I thought........He looks down and said wow where's my other ski..............Ok so I figure this joker is really good and will just blow off the ramp and rip GS turns. NOT,he failed at the ramp.

**PulverSchwein** · 01-25-2012, 01:31 AM

out in Kelowna last weekend, overheard a big box sales doofus telling a customer that "these 'volkies' right here are the best skis we carry". Not volkL, but VolkI. Me and my buddy wandered around for a bit snickering and saying stuff like "wish I could afford a pair of Volkies, man that would be so sweet"