Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**James H** · 02-07-2012, 02:58 PM

Years ago in telluride riding the gondola with a cat driver buddy of mine around 10 am a young couple gets on with us. The woman is decked out in her descente full body suit. My buddy had just had his after shift drinks at OB's and was pretty wasted.

Woman looks at my buddy and then whispers, not so quietly, to her husband, "he reeks of alcohol." Without missing a beat, my buddy shoots back, "well your breath smells like dick, but you don't hear me complaining about it."

Not the end of it, this uptight touron gets prissy and looks at her husband like, are you going to defend my honor, do something about it. Her husband looks at her and says, "maybe you should just be quiet the rest of the ride."

At least one of them didn't suck.

**TahoeJ** · 02-07-2012, 03:22 PM

Love that. Is there anything more obnoxious than the wife/girlfriend who starts yapping with strangers and then tries to force her husband/boyfriend into a fight? I always feel bad for those guys. Although it would have been even better if he had said, "I wish" after your buddy's comment.

Originally Posted by James H

"maybe you should just be quiet the rest of the ride."

**Climber Joe** · 02-07-2012, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by Bobcat Sig

Not really a quote, but more of an interaction. While riding the lift at Big Sky on Saturday, the other three on the chair were from Boston. None had been out west before and were shocked to see the size of my XXLs. It was to the point that the guy nearest to me pulled out his camera to snap a pic and show his mother as neither had seen powder skis. I then informed them that there really weren't my big boards since I'll ski the Bibbys on deeper days.

Great guys, otherwise. They were stoked to be in Montana and love it.

I feel like I know you... Did you just put a big hole in your bibbys? And are they actually bibby pros?

And since its the cool thing to do lately, you wanna do a ski off? Or maybe wait till we have a better base?

**biff chalupa** · 02-07-2012, 03:34 PM

Originally Posted by James H

this uptight touron gets prissy and looks at her husband like, are you going to defend my honor, do something about it.

Yappy bitches. Here's a clip that goes along nicely . . .

**James H** · 02-07-2012, 03:45 PM

That was AWESOME! I'm gonna netflix that movie.

**Bobcat Sig** · 02-07-2012, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by Climber Joe

I feel like I know you... Did you just put a big hole in your bibbys? And are they actually bibby pros?

And since its the cool thing to do lately, you wanna do a ski off? Or maybe wait till we have a better base?

Perhaps.

**Planks** · 02-08-2012, 07:21 AM

Last week I was in the line on my ARV's which aren't very wide skis, but I still got a comment from some kid in the line "Why would you ever want such wide skis"

**biff chalupa** · 02-08-2012, 10:24 AM

well? what was your response?

**From_the_NEK** · 02-08-2012, 10:32 AM

Originally Posted by Planks

Last week I was in the line on my ARV's which aren't very wide skis, but I still got a comment from some kid in the line "Why would you ever want such wide skis"

well? what was your response?

This one should work...

"When hitting the big kickers in the park, the wide skis give me floatyier air. Like an airplane wing."?

**superstator** · 02-08-2012, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by From_the_NEK

"When hitting the big kickers in the park, the wide skis give me floatyier air. Like an airplane wing."?

careful, this is how trends start. Next thing all the jibber kids will have skin suits.

**Lelandjt** · 02-10-2012, 11:57 PM

Originally Posted by DenverGaper

Not a quote, but a NoPro coming in handy!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/82262217/

Liveleak.com said that was a fatal crash so not so funny. After hearing it that's not hard to believe.

**Jethro** · 02-11-2012, 12:05 AM

Originally Posted by skiminnesota

"tree cannot grow over 9,000ft" (said at 8,500 ft in perfect view of 10,000 ridges with trees.)

At a certain latitude he is probably correct.

**Xocomil** · 02-11-2012, 12:19 AM

Had a customer tell me that her ski instructor showed her places that "Weren't on the map" today... And another custo pointed at a pair of Sketcher's shape ups and asked her for her Skeetchers

**shafty85** · 02-11-2012, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by DenverGaper

Not a quote, but a NoPro coming in handy!

Holy crap they hit that tree hard. Definitely not funny.

**The SnowShow** · 02-12-2012, 10:28 AM

Two quotes from yesterday that happen annually...took awhile this year!
"wow, nice water skis" referring to my Goats
"Are moguls sculpted by a machine?" to his equally clueless companion

**concretejungle** · 02-12-2012, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by The SnowShow

Two quotes from yesterday that happen annually...took awhile this year!
"wow, nice water skis" referring to my Goats
"Are moguls sculpted by a machine?" to his equally clueless companion

I got a "those are the skis we need for powder" at the Basin yesterday. I was on a 95 waisted ski.

Also, a snowboarder told my wife he and his buddies were going to duck a rope. When my wife mentioned that that might not be a good idea he replied that his board was already scratched so it was fine.

**farmer** · 02-12-2012, 12:21 PM

[QUOTE=old goat;3544942]

Originally Posted by DenverGaper

Not a quote, but a NoPro coming in handy!

The family has requested that this video be taken down. I did PM Denver Gaper--no response. Maybe someone here knows how to get rid of it.

I hit the report spam button. I know it's not actually spam, but I figure at least it will draw attention to those who can edit / delete it.

Now if everyone who quoted that most could edit theirs to remove the link as well...

**bmg97** · 02-12-2012, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by concretejungle

I got a "those are the skis we need for powder" at the Basin yesterday. I was on a 95 waisted ski.

Meh to this. 95 could be a good powder ski. It only seems silly because there are skis with 120 + waists. Don't forget, not too long ago, when girls were girls and men were men, people skied powder on 75 inch waists. I know it sounds crazy though.

**jonesy** · 02-12-2012, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by bmg97

Meh to this. 95 could be a good powder ski. It only seems silly because there are skis with 120 + waists. Don't forget, not too long ago, when girls were girls and men were men, people skied powder on 75 inch waists. I know it sounds crazy though.

Pfffff.......People still ski mank on 65mm carve skis,ain't no big thing.

**bmg97** · 02-12-2012, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by jonesy

Pfffff.......People still ski mank on 65mm carve skis,ain't no big thing.

Exactly.

**Big Snowballs** · 02-12-2012, 01:30 PM

Regarding Moguls

Originally Posted by Karl May

there are no bumps at my hill, so I don't even know what they look like

OK he was kidding but still a very gaper-ish remark !

**stuckathuntermtn** · 02-12-2012, 01:32 PM

Some old dude/chick couldn't really tell, was out in the tiniest fucking Snowblades I have ever seen, yesterday. Here's the kicker: old school National Ski Patrol down jacket. Open of course, because it was around 30 or higher. And poles, of course.

You ain't savin shit. Take that jacket off.

**Percy Rideout** · 02-12-2012, 02:17 PM

Some brazilian lady on a pow day talking with her instuctor on the lift:

"In all zis snow is ita better to turn left or right?"

**farmer** · 02-12-2012, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by Asspen

Some brazilian lady on a pow day talking with her instuctor on the lift:

"In all zis snow is ita better to turn left or right?"

somehow, this is all that comes to mind:

**Son-of-Pbville** · 02-12-2012, 03:56 PM

its been a while since this happened, just forgot about this thread but.....

after the first significant snowfall in a long while, waiting for a buddy at mid-gad

i see a gaped out dude cussing a storm and kicking his bindings trying to clip in, with his buddy on his hands and knees directing his boot "wait, wait, almost there, push!!" "DAMMIT, FUCKING BULLSHIT"

a give these guys a look over and the pissed one clearly just bought everything (brand new steep tech jacket, boots, skis, marker tours, full pack, harness, ice axe, double helmet go-pros, one forward one back) EPIC.

so after a bit I figure i would try to be friendly given it was a good day and nothing worse than fucking with gear on those days even if they are gapers

"So whats going on fellas?" "THESE FUCKING BOOTS DONT FIT!!" Ok, so I take a closer look and they are out of adjustment by maybe 4 clicks. "Well your bindings aren't adjusted right." "THATS FUCKING BULLSHIT, I JUST SPENT 4 FUCKING HOURS AT CHRISTY AND THEY DONT WORK!!!!!" "Look dude there is bench right there, just back it out a turn and it will work fine" "I CANT DO THAT, THEY SAID IF I ADJUST THEM THEY WONT WARRANTY THEM!!!!"

I try to explain to him that is not true, but he insist and explains to me that he already broke a pair of tours this morning and these are replacements.

So he continues to kick the shit out of the toe piece trying to get his boot in. For sure going to break these bindings. So I say "Look they won't know the difference if you turn the screw once. Do you have a screwdriver? I will do it for you"

He looks at me exasperated and says "I have fucking everything else except for a screwdriver."

At this point I can help it and have to ski away and immediately break out in laughter.

My buddy who caught most of the action just blankly looks at me and says "what the fuck was that?"

We spent the rest of the day cussing at christy sports and coming up with ridiculous "i have everything but....." HAHAHAHA