Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[PowerWhore7]

So, I fart on the gondola @ Mammoth this week, claim it of course, then reference something about GNAR. The woman in the matching Spider outfit says “oh, that’s that snowboarder movie” HA-ha

[Wunderkind]

Riding a chair at Snowbird a couple weeks ago I sat with an older fella and commented on how much it sucked that it was raining on us.

Old Guy: Yep not much snow. I patrol up at the Canyons and we ran out of O2 yesterday because so many people were crashing into eachother.

Me: You gave them all oxygen huh?

Old Guy: Yep, in case of head and neck injury. But at least it's raining now. That's what we need. A good rain puts some texture in the snow. Now if it freezes, the snowpack will be much safer when we start getting big storms because the powder will be anchored.

Me: Did you say you're a patroller?

Old Guy: Yep, up at Canyons.

Me: <headphones in, mental note to call Jake at Canyons and question his hiring procedures>

[stuckathuntermtn]

WTF? Even I know rain crust is dangerous.
(For the locals)
Was talking about snow conditions on a good day with a guy. I said there was lots of good snow, but yeah, look out for rocks.
He asked if I was talking about Paradise and Spartan.
Me: Uh, East Bowl?

I shared some base welding tips with him too. Nice guy, but jesus...

[I've seen black diamonds!]

^^^^^^ Rain and the associated thaw/freeze can increase stability if it permeates through the snow pack and wipes out old weak layers.

[tellybele]

^^^^^^ Rain and the associated thaw/freeze can increase stability if it permeates through the snow pack and wipes out old weak layers.

Really, no way! ^^^best gaper line of the week! Good one NY'r!

[stuckathuntermtn]

^^^^^^ Rain and the associated thaw/freeze can increase stability if it permeates through the snow pack and wipes out old weak layers.

In january, and on a thin snowpack? Come now. That shit will nuke steep, rocky areas back to square one. /talkingoutmyass

Sent from my DROID2

[_Aaron_]

Really, no way! ^^^best gaper line of the week! Good one NY'r!

4 posts since 2006 and this is one of them?

[Wunderkind]

All of you quit cunting up this thread! Back to the business:

Took my sister's boyfriend skiing this weekend. First time we had ever hung out. He said he was a good skier so I figured we'd go to Alta for the day. First thing I saw when I walked over to the lift line was a frustrated guy who couldn't figure out why his boots wouldn't click in (both skis were backwards). Got pretty nervous about the rest of the day but he kept up pretty valiantly for being such a gaper.

[tellybele]

4 posts since 2006 and this is one of them?

sorry, I don't internet much. I lurk a little. I thought it was pertinent to the gaper gig, sorry about that eye-roller.

[~mikey b]

ok, so...

there's this guy getting on the gondy at Mammoth the other day with his kid - he's got the kid's skis strapped to his pack and his own skis and poles in his hands - the kid working the gondy tries to help him with his boards and he says "I got it." and tries to enter the gondy after the kid carrying all that shit - kid's skis catch on the door and the idiot almost falls on his ass and lets out a little girl scream - the kid working the gondy politely asks "You sure you've got it?" and the idiot mumbles and stumbles his way into the gondy avoiding eye contact as the doors shut behind him

yep - that was me

[BrianH]

50 yards on a slight incline, that's how far away we are from the lift.

"I hate walking in my boots ... why does it have to be so far ...
they should have one of those things that takes you to the lift."


---------------

OK, not a quote but is it just me or have people gotten dumber? Riding the quad at Ski Santa Fe, the thing stops about 3-4 times. Now generally I ride it only once a day, but even that is annoying. WTF, why can't people load lifts anymore?

Too many video games? I've seen people just stand there looking, not realize that there is some minimal amount of timing to sit down at the sweet spot.

</rant>

[DasBlunt]

Riding a chair at Snowbird a couple weeks ago I sat with an older fella and commented on how much it sucked that it was raining on us.

Old Guy: Yep not much snow. I patrol up at the Canyons and we ran out of O2 yesterday because so many people were crashing into eachother.

Me: You gave them all oxygen huh?

Old Guy: Yep, in case of head and neck injury. But at least it's raining now. That's what we need. A good rain puts some texture in the snow. Now if it freezes, the snowpack will be much safer when we start getting big storms because the powder will be anchored.

Me: Did you say you're a patroller?

Old Guy: Yep, up at Canyons.

Me: <headphones in, mental note to call Jake at Canyons and question his hiring procedures>

Got to quote that one. Shedding a tear.

[I've seen black diamonds!]

Really, no way! ^^^best gaper line of the week! Good one NY'r!

Seriously? Did you not see what I was responding too? Enjoy your crusts and facets, retards.

[ajdemo76]

Beaver Creek ski instructor conversation at my shop the other day.

Instructor: Yea, I need my skis adjusted to my new boots. (all beat to hell, dry bases, didn't want tuned)
Me: Alright, just need you to fill out some info for me here.
Instructor: Now I don't want you to mess with the settings, just leave them. I don't want to be coming out of these. (set at 6.5)
Me: Sir, I need to set these according to what the chart says based on the info you give me.
Instructor: I've been an instructor here for 2 years....I THINK you guys can help me out here.
Me: I legally can't set these any different that what it says to set them at.
Me: Sir, you didn't select which type skier you are. (I then explain what type 1, 2 and 3 are)
Instructor: (ignoring what I just told him) I'm a level 7 skier for Vail something or other (can't remember)
Instructor: (after I explain the skier types again) Oh, I'm definitely a 3 then.

[steezybomber]

I wont even list all the comments that were made, it all started with 40s in the parking lots and offering (accepting) a coors lite to a parking attendant.

I will preface this with I was skiing with 3 friends, modified game of GNAR, white tail hill in PA, lange comp 140 boots, 195 AK JJ.

Gaper on Lift: Those are interesting looking skis, mad are they wide and HUGE!
Me: After the required "thats what she said" joke, I explained 5 dimensional skis and I was breaking in skis/boots.
Gaper: What are the different dimensions for?
Me: Smaller tip for groomers, larger mi section for aerodynamics while spinning in air, underfoot for pow, wider rear section for bumps only, and smaller tail for rooster tails at mach ten.
Gaper: Really?! Thats so cool, I should try a pair of those. Do they come in my size?
Me: (I look down, 165s....) Um I dont think so.
Gaper: Whats the backpack for? Were ONLY at white tail.
Me: For gapers like you. I pull out a coors and a knife, stab hole, shotgun, crush can, put in backpack (no one likes to litter), turn up music, and start seeing about some black chicks huge ass.

[old goat]

I wont even list all the comments that were made, it all started with 40s in the parking lots and offering (accepting) a coors lite to a parking attendant.

I will preface this with I was skiing with 3 friends, modified game of GNAR, white tail hill in PA, lange comp 140 boots, 195 AK JJ.

Gaper on Lift: Those are interesting looking skis, mad are they wide and HUGE!
Me: After the required "thats what she said" joke, I explained 5 dimensional skis and I was breaking in skis/boots.
Gaper: What are the different dimensions for?
Me: Smaller tip for groomers, larger mi section for aerodynamics while spinning in air, underfoot for pow, wider rear section for bumps only, and smaller tail for rooster tails at mach ten.
Gaper: Really?! Thats so cool, I should try a pair of those. Do they come in my size?
Me: (I look down, 165s....) Um I dont think so.
Gaper: Whats the backpack for? Were ONLY at white tail.
Me: For gapers like you. I pull out a coors and a knife, stab hole, shotgun, crush can, put in backpack (no one likes to litter), turn up music, and start seeing about some black chicks huge ass.

A lot of skiers still aren't used to seeing wide, rockered skis. We get it. And get it. And get it. And get it.

[JaytaeMoney]

it all started with 40s in the parking lots and offering (accepting) a coors lite to a parking attendant.

Please, tell me more.

I will preface this with I was skiing with 3 friends, modified game of GNAR

You guys were the best skiers on the mountain FOR SURE

white tail hill in PA

...if you can call it a mountain

195 AK JJ.

Sounds like the perfect tool for a 900' ice hill in PA

Me: After the required "thats what she said" joke

Hilarious. steezybomber is the total package, ladies.

I was breaking in skis

White Tail Hill, PA: THE place to put 195 AKJJs to the test, people. Write that down.

Me: For gapers like you. I pull out a coors and a knife, stab hole, shotgun, crush can, put in backpack (no one likes to litter), turn up music, and start seeing about some black chicks huge ass.

Someday I hope to be this cool

[tellybele]

Seriously? Did you not see what I was responding too? Enjoy your crusts and facets, retards.

It was a joke due to your jonged-up quote...many other factors need consideration and your simplistic assesment fell into the gaper comment quality that the thread is about. I mean no harm, a little smartassery is all. Don't get all east-coast on me now; ok brah?

[Wunderkind]

Seriously? Did you not see what I was responding too? Enjoy your crusts and facets, retards.

Yeah you should know better than to Jong me retard. Go back and reread my story...

[counterfeitfake]

Can we just be funny in this thread?

[superstator]

Some excellent eavesdropping at Meadows yesterday. But I think my favorite was the two guys arguing about who had heard the better forecast - one thought NOAA had it all figured out, and the other guy was convinced the National Weather Service had a better take. I thought about letting them in on the secret, but they seemed to be enjoying the argument too much.

[steezybomber]

dude jaytaemoney I could only WISH to be as cool as you. you are the EFFN MAN!

obviously i was joking throughout the entire thing, this thread is supposed to be funny, but i appreciate your E-bashing it makes me smile while im working my balls off to pay for my heli trip to revi.

cheers

[JaytaeMoney]

dude jaytaemoney I could only WISH to be as cool as you. you are the EFFN MAN!

obviously i was joking throughout the entire thing, this thread is supposed to be funny, but i appreciate your E-bashing it makes me smile while im working my balls off to pay for my heli trip to revi.

cheers

It wasn't that obvious to me and if you really were joking and aren't simply back pedaling after being called out by me and another poster then my faith in humanity is temporarily restored

[steezybomber]

i dont back pedal. i thought the pulling out a knife and shotgunning beers on a chair lift was clear enough indicator that it was all for fun. ill try to come up with some more ridiculous shit next time like donkey punching the gaper in the face while spraying a patroller or some shit.

i promise next time to post a crazy story, it will be so ludicrous that i would have been in jail for having attempted it, fair enough? glad you still hold the faith brotha, thats what I cling to each day im not on the hill.

[grskier]

Beaver Creek ski instructor conversation at my shop the other day.

Instructor: Yea, I need my skis adjusted to my new boots. (all beat to hell, dry bases, didn't want tuned)
Me: Alright, just need you to fill out some info for me here.
Instructor: Now I don't want you to mess with the settings, just leave them. I don't want to be coming out of these. (set at 6.5)
Me: Sir, I need to set these according to what the chart says based on the info you give me.
Instructor: I've been an instructor here for 2 years....I THINK you guys can help me out here.
Me: I legally can't set these any different that what it says to set them at.
Me: Sir, you didn't select which type skier you are. (I then explain what type 1, 2 and 3 are)
Instructor: (ignoring what I just told him) I'm a level 7 skier for Vail something or other (can't remember)
Instructor: (after I explain the skier types again) Oh, I'm definitely a 3 then.

He may be a gaping instructor, but you are also wrong here....