Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**lowsparkco** · 01-12-2012, 06:21 PM

what part?

ski leashes for telemark skis between the boot and the ski - "do they keep you from losing your poles?"

then the chair business... a quad, four people, friends, take several minutes to all get ready and then two or three ski out while one doesn't know that it's time and stays and has to take the next chair - ooops!

more clear?

**Magnoe** · 01-12-2012, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by lowsparkco

what part?

ski leashes for telemark skis between the boot and the ski - "do they keep you from losing your poles?"

then the chair business... a quad, four people, friends, take several minutes to all get ready and then two or three ski out while one doesn't know that it's time and stays and has to take the next chair - ooops!

more clear?

It appears that it was indeed me that was drunk. How did that happen?

**Sinecure** · 01-12-2012, 08:26 PM

Originally Posted by snoqpass

"Hello base, I'm on scene the patients LOC is slightly retarded"

Patroller's too. What is it about pressing the mic button that creates brain farts?

**Skirotica** · 01-14-2012, 06:41 PM

Not a gaper quote. More of a funny grom quote.

discusion between boy and girl re: what to ski leads to a choice poachable line
boy: let's take that and I can air over that fallen tree
girl: you do and your parents will be pissed at the medical bills they have to pay
boy: nah, i can make it over that.
girl: you're as stupid as my brother.

That last brought out a chuckle for me and the other guy on the chair.

**bitchtits** · 01-14-2012, 09:05 PM

fuckin A.

**flatNshallow** · 01-16-2012, 07:15 AM

... "I hate skiing with so many bad skiers!"

**GrumpyPilot** · 01-16-2012, 07:29 AM

Originally Posted by lowsparkco

I noticed over the holidays the tourists will get all lined up, while letting empty chairs spin by, then choose a chair to all go after, but only half of them ski out. I don't care in the least though, just makes me very thankful they're still coming!

I personally love how all the tourists will ski a run then jump on their smart phones, right in the lift line and start typing away. Rather then load the damned chair or step to the side so at least myself or someone else can. I guess updating your face book page every five minutes has it's price.

**Kim Jong-un** · 01-16-2012, 07:37 AM

Every now and then I meet someone more stupid than myself and its refreshing.

I stopped just below one of those SLOW skiing zone nets to adjust my boots. As I am bent over a dude crashes into the net and ends up taking out the net and hitting me. As I'm trying to untangle myself from this net and this dude, I had a few choice words for him, after which he says to me "Why the hell did you stop there? Nobody ever stops there." After which I yelled, "DUDE, YOU JUST TOOK OUT THE FUCKING NET!" . He then responds with a "Hey its all cool man, no need to get upset, we're both out here to have a good time."

**jaredstrauss** · 01-16-2012, 07:42 AM

I had a ski instructor ask me on the lift yesterday if I was a big time skier. Was not really sure how to respond.

He then asked me if my skis were twin tips or rockers.

**dark_star** · 01-16-2012, 08:05 AM

Overheard while skiing groomed, windswept ice at Mount Snow this weekend, a solid 3-4 days after a 10" snowfall:

"Man, I forgot how much fun it is to ski powder!"

**Sinecure** · 01-16-2012, 09:42 AM

Skiing with a bunch of instructors in a clinic yesterday. They were from the resort next door, but after a summer acquisition, we're all one big resort now. Plus they've all skied here more than a few times. We get to the head of the line and all chuckle because two chairs in front of us they can't figure out how to make a foursome. Our turn comes, me and another guy pull out and the two other instructors look at us, then eachother, then I hear "wait, is this a 4-pack?". Mental note to self not to set up any of my kids in class with these geniuses.

**BigHerm** · 01-16-2012, 10:26 AM

Originally Posted by jaredstrauss

I had a ski instructor ask me on the lift yesterday if I was a big time skier. Was not really sure how to respond.

He then asked me if my skis were twin tips or rockers.

Unless he was ancient, I'm pretty sure he was fucking with you.

**counterfeitfake** · 01-16-2012, 10:35 AM

Storming hard at Snoqualmie, I'm with my novice girlfriend, on tele skis. I barely tele, nobody cares that I barely tele.

Guy skis up to me.

Guy: You're telemarking! This is my first day, it's horrible!
Me: Yeah, tele is hard.
Guy: Well yeah! And I bet it's a lot harder for you on those, than for me on these!

I looked down and saw he was skiing fixed-heel randonnee gear.

**Shorty_J** · 01-16-2012, 10:45 AM

Older Aussie guy with his wife and kid in the gondi: "So you guys are on those LONG skis, huh?"
Me: "They're not that long... only 186."
Aussie: "Yeah... I've been there done that." (he's a full-grown man and he's got some 160's in the gondi rack)

... later...

Aussie: "Skiing these days is about SLIDING, not actually SKIING anymore."
Me: "Is that what I've been doing wrong all this time?"

... later still...

Aussie: "We're going heli skiing with CMH next week."
Me: "You're might want something longer than those 160's for all that powder."

**Bobcat Sig** · 01-16-2012, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by Shorty_J

Aussie: "We're going heli skiing with CMH next week."
Me: "You're might want something longer than those 160's for all that powder."

Sounds like the doctors that were in our cat last year at Monashee. One guy rocking a pair of 170ish Pocket Rockets and another getting beat up by a set of 164 Volkl AC4s. Good times were had by all ...

**zartagen** · 01-16-2012, 05:11 PM

Originally Posted by BigHerm

Originally Posted by jaredstrauss

I had a ski instructor ask me on the lift yesterday if I was a big time skier. Was not really sure how to respond.

He then asked me if my skis were twin tips or rockers.

Unless he was ancient, I'm pretty sure he was fucking with you.

Most ski instructors are gapers with uniforms. I bet he had no idea.

**Skistack** · 01-16-2012, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by jaredstrauss

I had a ski instructor ask me on the lift yesterday if I was a big time skier. Was not really sure how to respond.

He then asked me if my skis were twin tips or rockers.

"Yes" is the correct answer to both questions.

**dan_pdx** · 01-16-2012, 07:33 PM

"Hey baby, are you here...alone?"

Said in my best, most suave, deepest and most suggestive, Barry White voice, as I came up behind my wife outside the lodge.

"No! I'm here with my husband!" She spins around totally pissed off and I see that she's a 50-something lady in the same jacket and helmet, and with the same general build as my wife...but definitely not my wife.

My hysterical laughter and subsequent abject apology of "I'm sorry, I thought you were my wife" was extremely poorly received.

**tBatt** · 01-16-2012, 08:02 PM

So my buddy and I were in the woods at Alta yesterday. We heard some people skiing by, so my buddy growled. The lady stopped, screamed, and asked her son if it was a bear.

"GRRR"
[gigglegigglegiggle]
"was that a bear?!"
"Yeah mom, it was. Wait, yeah, I heard it too."

and then they left.

Good laughs for the rest of the day.

**Meadow Skipper** · 01-16-2012, 08:24 PM

Guy instructing his kids at the top of a fairly steep bump run: "Point them downhill, lean back, and TURN!"

Guess what kind of accent he had.

**Lani** · 01-16-2012, 09:05 PM

Tejano ?

**Meadow Skipper** · 01-16-2012, 09:46 PM

Por supuesto.

**Dave Marshack** · 01-16-2012, 11:22 PM

Too many to list from American weekend here in Whistler. The best is seeing all the interesting ways people mess up putting on ski boots.

**point it** · 01-17-2012, 02:13 AM

Approaching the station at the top of a lift the guy next to me asked me if I was planning on getting off

**RXPXSkier** · 01-17-2012, 09:51 AM

walking by the Gondola at keystone base while some guy struggles to hold his skis and poles i hear a girl go "I don't know why i date you...look at the way you hold your sh*t you're such a Gaper"