Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**TacocaT** · 10-22-2010, 10:15 AM

Cyclist Friend Explains Necessity Of $35 Socks

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cyc...5-socks,18259/

**old goat** · 10-22-2010, 10:47 AM

I only wear black sox (from Kmart) when I cycle, so people think I'm Lance.

The reappearance of this thread means it's time to get the moguls out of storage, and take the water ski bindings off and put the snow ski bindings on. And the elk are coming down from the higher elevations and turning back into deer (or do I have it backwards?).

**USTFUP2!** · 10-22-2010, 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by guroo270

Guy walking to first lift of the day sees gaper mumbling profanities and slamming his boots on his bindings. Guy notices that ski is backwards and says, "you should turn that around. You're trying to put your toe into the heel."
gaper says, "These are twin tips. You can ski them backwards or forwards."
Guy continues his day.

You seen one tip you've seen'em both!! What else is there to know?

**Shorty_J** · 10-22-2010, 07:20 PM

I'm at the Calgary ski swap this evening and I have a pair of 185 Motherships in my hand but I'm up in the cross-country ski section while my fiance looks there.

I shit you not, this dude asks me "are those cross-country skis?"

That might be the single stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.

**nateski** · 10-22-2010, 09:38 PM

playing fetch with my dog.
gaper: what kind of dog is that?
me: a black lab.
gape: oh, i thought it was some kind of retriever.

doh!

**stuckathuntermtn** · 10-23-2010, 12:25 AM

Originally Posted by Shorty_J

I'm at the Calgary ski swap this evening and I have a pair of 185 Motherships in my hand but I'm up in the cross-country ski section while my fiance looks there.

I shit you not, this dude asks me "are those cross-country skis?"

That might be the single stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Not really. I mean, to be fare:

Originally Posted by nateski

playing fetch with my dog.
gaper: what kind of dog is that?
me: a black lab.
gape: oh, i thought it was some kind of retriever.

doh!

**Shorty_J** · 10-23-2010, 01:12 AM

^^^ granted, but I wasn't there.

**pow_pow** · 10-23-2010, 02:48 AM

our season finished a few weeks back,
mid season our cover was not great but still ok, i was in a lift que one morning when there was 3 gapers talk crap, one guy was saying to his friends say that skis are getting to fat these days, mind you i only had on my K2 PE, so not a fat ski at all, he was saying that they should make rock skis for Aust,
next night it dumped 2foot, hope he enjoyed skiing this stright skis that day on our pow.

**karpiel** · 10-23-2010, 03:31 AM

Originally Posted by pow_pow

our season finished a few weeks back,
mid season our cover was not great but still ok, i was in a lift que one morning when there was 3 gapers talk crap, one guy was saying to his friends say that skis are getting to fat these days, mind you i only had on my K2 PE, so not a fat ski at all, he was saying that they should make rock skis for Aust,
next night it dumped 2foot, hope he enjoyed skiing this stright skis that day on our pow.

**guroo270** · 10-23-2010, 02:04 PM

Asked my "ski big" son what he thought about my new skis. He said they would be great for me. If I was 35 years younger, skied big mountains and learned to like going fast. So I sold the Griffon's for $100 and have

A COOL NEW BENCH!!

- found that on epicski. Gaperriffic.

**shredtastic** · 10-23-2010, 09:31 PM

sick thread. It never ceases to amaze me how retarded some people can be

**reganized** · 10-24-2010, 09:48 PM

A client from Texas told me how much nicer Vail is than Breck or Aspen becuase it has that "European Village". I held my tongue on it being a stripmall with concrete parking garages.

**karpiel** · 10-25-2010, 06:03 AM

“It's been great,” he said, adding that it's likely the last powder day that there won't be Denver traffic. “It doesn't feel claustrophobic at all. It feels great to be outside.”

From http://www.summitdaily.com/article/2...ntprofile=1055

**guroo270** · 10-25-2010, 09:17 AM

Gotta admit, the absolute best thing about living in grand junction is always having reverse commute to the hill. I had to take my brother back to the airport after my bachelor party last year, and dear lord, I don't know how all you Denver/Boulder people do it. I almost kicked my brother out of the car with a sign DIA so I could turn around.

**karpiel** · 10-25-2010, 10:40 AM

Originally Posted by guroo270

Gotta admit, the absolute best thing about living in grand junction is always having reverse commute to the hill. I had to take my brother back to the airport after my bachelor party last year, and dear lord, I don't know how all you Denver/Boulder people do it. I almost kicked my brother out of the car with a sign DIA so I could turn around.

FUCK YEA! It must be so rad being a half hour from powderhorn, the only place that offers those legendary east coast conditions in the state of CO!

**guroo270** · 10-25-2010, 11:13 AM

never been to Powderhorn. Nor will I go.

**karpiel** · 10-25-2010, 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by guroo270

never been to Powderhorn. Nor will I go.

So next closest is what, Silverton? Lame!

**darren** · 10-25-2010, 12:48 PM

obviously not a quote, but while working at loveland rental shop a few years ago, ski patrol brought back a pair of boots a lady had rented. said she broke her ankle because she had them on the wrong feet. guess that'll do it.

**knumbskull** · 10-25-2010, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by guroo270

never been to Powderhorn. Nor will I go.

You gotta go. Usually a couple times a season they get a nice dump and Aspen gets more or less skunked. There is some surprisingly fun terrain there. Plenty for a day.

**Flotsam** · 10-26-2010, 03:43 AM

coworker: so I saw your pictures. (a few turns in chutes) That's pretty neat, how do you miss the rocks?

**coldsmoker** · 10-26-2010, 05:36 AM

Originally Posted by AaronZ

I shit you not, some dude came up to me last week (I'm a lifty in Fernie, come say hi) and asked if his skis are on the the right feet, and if it mattered at all. He said it totally straight faced and I was like "Hah, good one" and went to get back to work. He said "No dude, I'm a snowboarder, I've seriously never put on skis before". I was shocked.

I didn't realize that snowboarding actually MADE you dumber, I thought that was just a myth, like the easter bunny or sasquatch!!! Good job, little buddy, good job.

**QuikR12** · 10-26-2010, 02:04 PM

This one might be played out, but a good one nonetheless...

Was at Start Haus in Truckee last weekend, fondling some XXL's on the clearance rack. Some yupie walks up and asks "Do you guys sell AT skis here?" and he actually says it "All-Terrain skis?"

"I don't work here man" was the only non-cynical response I could gather.

**QuikR12** · 10-26-2010, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by snapt

Light the Wick premier in Chico tonight...I'd venture a guess that %25 of the attendees have ever skied. 'Officer' of the ski club (We have a ski club?!) to the dude from Alpine Meadows "Do you guys have good boarding terrain?"
Alpine dude responds "Yah we have sick terrain with a lot of traverses to get to the goods"
Ski club person "What's a traverse?"
Alpine guy explains what a traverse is and goes on the BS with some other people.
Ski club dude "Meh I'll just get a Boreal pass again I think it's probably better"
And I realized why I'm not in the ski club.

This is a good thing

**guroo270** · 10-27-2010, 12:42 PM

I wonder if anyone on this board saw my biggest gaper moment...

Back when I was in HS/ a De Anza student in the bay area, my buddies and I used to always get season passes to Kirkwood and go every free second we could. One day, very late season, one of the last days, I woke up and it was about 60 degrees at my buddy's cabin, so I decided it was too warm for ski clothes, so I went in my green pajama pants (thin cotton) and a long sleeve shirt (not quite sure if it was core of me or gaperish). My buddy Nate (a boarder) and I get off the Reut and he says, race you to the bottom, so we straight line to about 3/4 the way down, our buddies are on the lift above us cheering us on, and out of the right corner of my eye, I see ski patrol, so I make a muscle twitch of a turn to the right and my left ski sinks into the slush and rips off immediately, and all the sudden I am airborne, about 4 feet off the ground but I cover about 30 yards in the air, and a football field more before I stop after supermanning it, landing on my left arm, ice rash all down my left side, got knocked out cold for a second or two, to even louder cheers from my friends. Now, totally soaked, but I skied the rest of the day. Much more slowly of course.
That was the last time I just wore pajamas to the mountain, circa 2003/04.

**Pukesno** · 10-27-2010, 04:14 PM

"Cool Dude" at Mammoth getting ready to load Stump Alley says to his "Rad Dude" friend, "I came here last year with 2 former Playboy Playmates, but they kept complaining about the cold and how their feet hurt, so I told them to wait in the lodge while I ripped up the mountain all day."......Right