Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**DasBlunt** · 03-18-2010, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by toast2266

just cause you grew up there doesn't mean you're not a gaper.

best quote ever.

**carvedog** · 03-18-2010, 03:30 PM

Originally Posted by bendtheski

So I'm supposed to ask if it's ok with everyone if I pull the bar down, not just give them a heads up? Probably not going to happen.

Why yes you are supposed to ask. Yes you are. To make sure everyone is ready and not going to get nutted or whatever.

Originally Posted by bendtheski

SMUG ALERT!

The national weather service has issued a smug alert for this thread for the remainder of the day.
The smug appears to be the result of spewing self satisfied garbage by posters who love the smell of their own farts.

Whatever. The smug alert must be for yourself. I'm not even smart enough to not argue with a self-righteous-I'll-pull-the-fucking-bar-down-however-and-whenever-I-deem-it jackass like you. And I am certainly not self-satisfied and my farts usually clear the room and leave my eyes watering so I don't really enjoy that.

Glad you found the finger "smilie", In Idaho we just say Fuck You.

**bendtheski** · 03-18-2010, 04:22 PM

Originally Posted by carvedog

Why yes you are supposed to ask. Yes you are. To make sure everyone is ready and not going to get nutted or whatever.

Whatever. The smug alert must be for yourself. I'm not even smart enough to not argue with a self-righteous-I'll-pull-the-fucking-bar-down-however-and-whenever-I-deem-it jackass like you. And I am certainly not self-satisfied and my farts usually clear the room and leave my eyes watering so I don't really enjoy that.

Glad you found the finger "smilie", In Idaho we just say Fuck You.

Go back and read my original post. The bar was still above heads and helmets when I gave the heads up. No head contact was made. I'm not the one who suggested bringing the bar down however and whenever; that was NorEasterSkier. It just pissed me off that tele-boy had to be all indignant and tell me to warn people when bringing the bar down when that is exactly what I did! Maybe he didn't hear me because he had the ipod turned up too high on a 6-pack. Oh well, that's what he gets for being anti-social on the lift... Actually after that he chatted it up pretty well with my wife's 75yo uncle, so maybe he wasn't a complete douche after all!

**OSECS** · 03-18-2010, 04:31 PM

^^^^ KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE, AND STOP CUNTING UP THIS THREAD THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY SHIT PEOPLE OVER HEAR, NOT DIATRIBES ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS ON A LIFT.

I say this with the utmost love and respect of course.

**bendtheski** · 03-18-2010, 04:46 PM

I'm feeling the love bro.
I suppose I should stick to how cool I am because I know the difference between a powder ski and a water ski, a deer and an elk, and where they put the moguls at night?
That smug alert applies to probably half of the comments posted here, mine included.

**Ivan Oder** · 03-19-2010, 12:41 AM

Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

I witnessed someone loading the Visty ahead of me in the line with an empty avalung pack and skins on. He got to midvail, skinned (downhill) to chair 3. Couldn't make sense of it all. Next level? Don't know. Epic.

Skinning downhill is core, was it a groomer?

How did you know his pack was empty?

**old goat** · 03-19-2010, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by Ivan Oder

Skinning downhill is core, was it a groomer?

How did you know his pack was empty?

I've never skinned downhill but . . .

Many moons ago I took a girl cross country skiing on a first date. on the way down it was very icy and she was terrified. I slapped a whole bunch of klister on her skis (the bases, for those who don't know how these things work)to slow her down. Problem solved. And I got laid.

**DropCliffsNotBombs** · 03-19-2010, 09:19 AM

Originally Posted by Ivan Oder

Skinning downhill is core

Was he practicing the reverse-skin technique? I've never done it but have heard of ski mountaineers "walking" straight downhill for sections by putting their skins on backwards.
I doubt this was the case though.

**Lelandjt** · 03-19-2010, 11:35 AM

Bumper sticker seen in Breck, "There's a fine line between appreciating & gaping"

**DasBlunt** · 03-19-2010, 11:42 AM

bumber sticker i saw...."no one cares that you Telemark"

**Slaag Master** · 03-19-2010, 02:55 PM

Originally Posted by jgb@etree

I'm sure you've heard this before, but you are completely insane.

That being said, I like it. Carry on.

thank you jgb. that the nicest thing anyone has told me since i skied over the eagles nest! i'd rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy!

**The SnowShow** · 03-19-2010, 02:59 PM

Sticker saying "no one cares you skied Alta"

**DasBlunt** · 03-19-2010, 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by The SnowShow

Sticker saying "no one cares you skied Alta"

hell yeah..

**Edgnar** · 03-19-2010, 04:03 PM

Alta is racialist.

**Slaag Master** · 03-19-2010, 04:13 PM

april fools day there will be a mass snowboarder tour of alta! im a skier but i love this attitude or should i say altatude! ride baby ride!

**narc** · 03-19-2010, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by old goat

I've never skinned downhill but . . .

Many moons ago I took a girl cross country skiing on a first date. on the way down it was very icy and she was terrified. I slapped a whole bunch of klister on her skis (the bases, for those who don't know how these things work)to slow her down. Problem solved. And I got laid.

That has got to be the only positive outcome anyone has ever had from using klister, when I was in Norway even the most die hard Norwegians would give up rather than us it.

**Lelandjt** · 03-19-2010, 08:21 PM

Is it made for increasing grip on accents?

**Shadam** · 03-19-2010, 10:31 PM

Ok so I'm no jiber, so all you new school, long T wearing fags that like to show guys your underwear with your pants around your knees, feel free to tell me all my faults ... but ... I couldn't help but laugh at the guy sweeping snow off the boxes rails etc etc on a pow day. I really do luv terrain parks, it keeps these tools out of the slack/back country.

**only temporary** · 03-19-2010, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by Shadam

Ok so I'm no jiber, so all you new school, long T wearing fags that like to show guys your underwear with your pants around your knees, feel free to tell me all my faults ... but ... I couldn't help but laugh at the guy sweeping snow off the boxes rails etc etc on a pow day. I really do luv terrain parks, it keeps these tools out of the slack/back country.

SWEET QUOTE BRO

**old goat** · 03-19-2010, 11:17 PM

Today at Squaw this poor gentleman had fallen over backwards in the Siberia lift line. his skis were herringboned out in front of him--bases on the snow, boots still attached to the skis. The only part of his body touching the snow was his head. He was totally immobilized. His friend was trying to release his bindings but couldn't--eventually he got him loose--no major injury as best as I could tell. I couldn't bring myself to take a picture. I've never seen anything like that before.

Helldawg · 03-20-2010, 09:42 AM

So the last day of the season last year, I was heading up to put away the moguls for the summer, and this a-hole got really mad when I yanked down the safety bar and nailed him in the head. Whatever.

So I get in a conversation with this other person about what appeared to be water skis on their feet! Srsly, WTF! I told them they'd be much better off with a pair of those new parabolics, but he just turned up his iPod and blew me off. Tool.

So then I get off the lift and see a lady struggling trying to click into her bindings. I have shit to do, so I can't stop, but I did take the time to yell, "Heel first, Gaper!" Duh.

So then I headed over to the mogul field to get to work, and passed a sweet powder field along the way. Now I don't ski pow, because anything over the boot is just work. But I did see a few guys getting ready to duck a rope and nail it. I asked them if they had beacons, but the one guy said fuck that, he had something better, and cheaper! It said Stanley on it, and had lots of lights and buttons and shit, so I guess that's cool.

So anyway, here's the best part. About halfway down the moguls (stacking them all is a bitch!), I see a friggin deer walking up the side of the trail, and right before my eyes, he turns into a fucking elk! I shit you not.

Best last day evar! Peace.

**gatorboy** · 03-20-2010, 09:56 AM

Originally Posted by Helldawg

So the last day of the season last year, I was heading up to put away the moguls for the summer, and this a-hole got really mad when I yanked down the safety bar and nailed him in the head. Whatever.

So I get in a conversation with this other person about what appeared to be water skis on their feet! Srsly, WTF! I told them they'd be much better off with a pair of those new parabolics, but he just turned up his iPod and blew me off. Tool.

So then I get off the lift and see a lady struggling trying to click into her bindings. I have shit to do, so I can't stop, but I did take the time to yell, "Heel first, Gaper!" Duh.

So then I headed over to the mogul field to get to work, and passed a sweet powder field along the way. Now I don't ski pow, because anything over the boot is just work. But I did see a few guys getting ready to duck a rope and nail it. I asked them if they had beacons, but the one guy said fuck that, he had something better, and cheaper! It said Stanley on it, and had lots of lights and buttons and shit, so I guess that's cool.

So anyway, here's the best part. About halfway down the moguls (stacking them all is a bitch!), I see a friggin deer walking up the side of the trail, and right before my eyes, he turns into a fucking elk! I shit you not.

Best last day evar! Peace.

JONGS have failed this thread, but this is funny. I shit you not.

**nateski** · 03-20-2010, 10:43 AM

"daddy's a little bloody after that one." ---gaper dad who hiked up next to a condo-access poma and sledded down, way too fast, and sprawled out into the road.
overheard while walking the pooch.

**leroy jenkins** · 03-20-2010, 11:06 AM

I took a little digger/cartwheel ride about a week ago, and took a seat in the snow afterward to stretch out my back and to take some safety precautions.

Friendly gaper skis by, asks if im ok. I say, yea, just stretching my back cus I took a digger. He kindly offers me some advil, I say I've got plenty, but thanks anyways.

He turns to ski away and calls out over his shoulder "Kindred back spirits" and skis off.

Nice guy and all, but I cracked up laughing. Kindred back spirits? He didn't even explain it any further or anything, just said those three words and skied off.

**45hill** · 03-21-2010, 04:55 AM

Not a gaper but a ripping old school patroller turned cabbie,

Scene

Gay week in Mammoth:

" I think I picked up a transvestite today "

me " no shit"

"either that or it was a really nasty dyke or a pretty man"

me, "sweet"

me, "crown rocks"

patroller/cabbie, "double"