Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[Neurodoc]

Guy on A Basin lift complaining how bright the sun is in Colorado...

The sun IS bright in Colorado.

Maybe he was a vampire from Texas on Spring break?

Or from the PNW, with his trusty Sensor Mirrors.

[Shadam]

So after the epic drought in these parts huckin eh and I go to sunshine village for the opening of delirim dive. we're first in and it was good, but rocky to say the least. after our 3rd lap we're just about to get on the gondy for lap #4 when gaper snowboarder (with gaper skier buddy) looks at this drunken ozy snowboader covered in snow and says ...
gaper: have you just been up there?
now to paint the picture, over my shoulder is delirim dive of which I can still see my tracks, which is where he pointed!
me: yes we've just been in delirim dive
gaper: have they any groomers up there?
me: theres plenty of good groomers today.
wot the fark waz I to say. there was plenty of grooming, I thought sunshine did a great job of it. but they got off at the mid station, were they afraid of the standish chair?

[Ithnu]

Bros picked the wrong aspect early season:

That may be fake but I've seen something to a lesser extent at Keystone. The top looks okay so people duck a rope, then 1/2 way down the snow ends. I saw 2 guys walking once but there was more snow than that, still not enough to ride though.

[QuikR12]

This weekend, cat skiing Mt. Bailey on a bluebird day just after a storm hammered it w/ 2 ft + of nice light blower...

Our group, a collection of mostly Portland and Reno mixed skiers/boarders, catch the shuttle bus to the snow cat, and finally make our way to the top for our first run. Offloading, everybody is peaked w/ excitement and seemingly ready to go...

Out of nowhere the loud obnoxious former New Yorker screams at the top of his lungs, "holy shit, mother fucker! They mounted our bindings wrong!"

Everybody stops, looks at the enraged gaper as he shows the crowd his snowboard mounted w/ the step-in "clicker" bindings mounted goofy, while his wife's same "clicker" bindings are mounted regular and screams, " They mounted them fucking backwards"

I thought the initial shock was from riding clicker bindings while cat skiing, which seems gaper enough on it's own, but apparently the shop mixed up the mounting instructions between his and his wife's boards, and at the top of the first 2 ft pow run was the right time to check that they got the mount right.

One of those "you had to be there moments," but that shit was fucking classic.

[Sessiøn]

LOL...who doesn't mount their own snowboard bindings? And who fucking rides clickers?

[old goat]

That may be fake but I've seen something to a lesser extent at Keystone. The top looks okay so people duck a rope, then 1/2 way down the snow ends. I saw 2 guys walking once but there was more snow than that, still not enough to ride though.

Looks a lot like the time I skied at Mt Lemon (outside Tucson). One run was plenty.

[mtl_ripper]

LOL...who doesn't mount their own snowboard bindings? And who fucking rides clickers?

...and who doesn't have a friggin screwdriver handy when riding to do things like um, take 5 minutes to swap stance around?

[bendtheski]

The wife's uncle from VT treated me to the shit show at Copper on Saturday. First lift ride I figure I'll lower the safety bar since the old guy (75) is used to riding with them back in VT. I call out "watch your heads" while the bar is still above everyone's head. Shit show lover a few seats down whines something about giving him a little more advance notice next time. I didn't say it but I guess I should have warned shit show lover that I intended to lower the bar for the old guy while we were still in the lift corral.
The salomon race stock skis and hammer-head tele set up should probably have tipped me off that this guy had issues...
On a side note; if Copper Mountain this Saturday were any indicator of what the sport of skiing is all about, I'd move to Florida and take up golf.
OK, not really. But Copper on a peak weekend blows.
Oh yeah. Made the mistake of getting into the Kokomo (beginner area) liftline which had a short line but a long wait due to flailing riders. Woman in front of me spouts "we skied right on yesterday"!
Imagine that. No liftlines on a weekday. Who'd a thought!

[NorEasterSkier]

First lift ride I figure I'll lower the safety bar since the old guy (75) is used to riding with them back in VT. I call out "watch your heads" while the bar is still above everyone's head. Shit show lover a few seats down whines something about giving him a little more advance notice next time.

I've had this happen more than a few times, usually by people that leave their headphones on. Figures... next time I'll just lower the lift bar down even quicker if they're on the lift with me.

I'm sure I said a few gaperish things in Alta and Snowbird last week... just hope they aren't posted here!

[MJB]

The wife's uncle from VT treated me to the shit show at Copper on Saturday. First lift ride I figure I'll lower the safety bar since the old guy (75) is used to riding with them back in VT. I call out "watch your heads" while the bar is still above everyone's head. Shit show lover a few seats down whines something about giving him a little more advance notice next time.

there's the assclown-imposing-his-will "watch your heads" approach (usually said while lowering the bar) and then there's the more respectful "mind if I lower the bar?" approach.

I doubt that the latter has ever resulted in someone being butthurt.

[carvedog]

I've had this happen more than a few times, usually by people that leave their headphones on. Figures... next time I'll just lower the lift bar down even quicker if they're on the lift with me.

I'm sure I said a few gaperish things in Alta and Snowbird last week... just hope they aren't posted here!

jeeze you sound like a real gem.

why restrict yourself to gaperish things at Alta and Snowbird you just proved what an ass you are. it's your job as the bar lowerer to make sure you don't hit anyone.

And thank you for your continued efforts to cunt up what was a good thread at one time.

[Slaag Master]

not a quote just the truth. my ski pants are all duct taped in the ass n such. when i bend over to buckle my boots others get a first hand view of a ten on the pucker scale. tale of the tape! a permanent record of sorts of this seasons jump or dump moments. reminds me of all those a-holes throughout my life that would threaten - "this will go on your permanent record" well to all those b.s. talkers and line walkers i say this: this buts for you, when i die hang these ski pants on your wall to warn all future would be bliss seekers and nirvana reapers of the consequences of a permanent record. and from my grave ill know that those ass puckered ski pants had more joy, saw more of real life, and traveled to more places that god would visit than their small cubicle mind could ever imagine. whew - was that a rant? sorry. last night i dreamed that the snow was all gone. wtf!

[Jongahawk]

not a quote just the truth. my ski pants are all duct taped in the ass n such. when i bend over to buckle my boots others get a first hand view of a ten on the pucker scale. tale of the tape! a permanent record of sorts of this seasons jump or dump moments. reminds me of all those a-holes throughout my life that would threaten - "this will go on your permanent record" well to all those b.s. talkers and line walkers i say this: this buts for you, when i die hang these ski pants on your wall to warn all future would be bliss seekers and nirvana reapers of the consequences of a permanent record. and from my grave ill know that those ass puckered ski pants had more joy, saw more of real life, and traveled to more places that god would visit than their small cubicle mind could ever imagine. whew - was that a rant? sorry. last night i dreamed that the snow was all gone. wtf!

For somebody that seems so confident that they are a higher life form then us lowly cubicle monkeys, you sure sound bitter.

[Slaag Master]

For somebody that seems so confident that they are a higher life form then us lowly cubicle monkeys, you sure sound bitter.

i like the idea of cubicle monkeys. sounds like mayhem. anyway my most sincere apology if i offended such species. i did not mean to imply cubicle monkeys when i said cubicle minds. what i meant to imply with that rather imprecise remark was that some people have a square squared mind = cubicle. further, it is not my opinion that i am a higher life form than any one else, living or deceased, unless of course they do not belong to the ski/ride/slide tribe. in addition, as a left handed, dyslexic, agnostic buddhist i have been persecuted for my failure to wholeheartedly embrace western imperialism, capitalism, and dog. however, in spite of the above ramble this has nothing to do with the subject at hand - skiing snow monkeys and my dream that the snow was all gone. please take this note to your teacher/principal to receive one day out of the cubicle so that you may ski - if there is any snow left - after my dream - and the skiing monkeys.

[DasBlunt]

I'm the gaper on this one...

I'm on a triple with my 7 year old. A single patroler joins us. The patroler turns to my daughter and says "Oh it's so great that you are wearing a helmet" and proceeds to make a big deal out of how important helmets are and then she gives her a free 6" Subway coupon for being a helmet wearer.

Sweeet!

Daughter says thank you.

I point out to the troller that I am also wearing a helmet.

Patroler says "good for you".

Hey, I tried...

you made the gaper quote....good job.

[jgb@etree]

i like the idea of cubicle monkeys. sounds like mayhem. anyway my most sincere apology if i offended such species. i did not mean to imply cubicle monkeys when i said cubicle minds. what i meant to imply with that rather imprecise remark was that some people have a square squared mind = cubicle. further, it is not my opinion that i am a higher life form than any one else, living or deceased, unless of course they do not belong to the ski/ride/slide tribe. in addition, as a left handed, dyslexic, agnostic buddhist i have been persecuted for my failure to wholeheartedly embrace western imperialism, capitalism, and dog. however, in spite of the above ramble this has nothing to do with the subject at hand - skiing snow monkeys and my dream that the snow was all gone. please take this note to your teacher/principal to receive one day out of the cubicle so that you may ski - if there is any snow left - after my dream - and the skiing monkeys.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but you are completely insane.

That being said, I like it. Carry on.

[bendtheski]

there's the assclown-imposing-his-will "watch your heads" approach (usually said while lowering the bar) and then there's the more respectful "mind if I lower the bar?" approach.

I doubt that the latter has ever resulted in someone being butthurt.

So I'm supposed to ask if it's ok with everyone if I pull the bar down, not just give them a heads up? Probably not going to happen. But then neither will my riding lifts again at Copper any time soon. My home mountain doesn't have safety bars on their lifts which removes any margin for error.
btw, people who interprete having someone lower the safety bar as having another's will imposed on them are probably frequently butthurt.

[carvedog]

So I'm supposed to ask if it's ok with everyone if I pull the bar down, not just give them a heads up? Probably not going to happen. But then neither will my riding lifts again at Copper any time soon. My home mountain doesn't have safety bars on their lifts which removes any margin for error.
btw, people who interprete having someone lower the safety bar as having another's will imposed on them are probably frequently butthurt.

So when did this turn into the "I am a Jackass and I'm going to prove it thread."

Get the fuck out and go be aggro someplace else.

[The SnowShow]

Has anyone seen a gaper get off at the old midload station on chair 9, Loveland? There are two signs clearly saying don't get off, and yet I saw an idiot get off and faceplant into the snow a few weeks ago....

[old goat]

So when did this turn into the "I am a Jackass and I'm going to prove it thread."

Get the fuck out and go be aggro someplace else.

Who's being aggro here? And I'm happy if the bar comes down without me getting bonked on the head, smashed on the arm, or worse- being castrated by the handles on some of the bars. Who gives a shit how the person announces the bar coming down, as long as they say something? And frankly by now we all should have figured out that a lot of folks bring the bar down without saying something.

On a note more appropriate to this thread--it was fun to be in the huge Silverado line last Saturday and watch people going up on the three person chair with only 2 gapers loaded getting pummeled by snowballs. And skiing was so good Saturday that despite big to huge lines on some lifts everyone stayed in a good mood--rare for Squaw.

[MakersTeleMark]

I witnessed someone loading the Visty ahead of me in the line with an empty avalung pack and skins on. He got to midvail, skinned (downhill) to chair 3. Couldn't make sense of it all. Next level? Don't know. Epic.

[bendtheski]

So when did this turn into the "I am a Jackass and I'm going to prove it thread."

Get the fuck out and go be aggro someplace else.

SMUG ALERT!

The national weather service has issued a smug alert for this thread for the remainder of the day.
The smug appears to be the result of spewing self satisfied garbage by posters who love the smell of their own farts.

[QuikR12]

I witnessed someone loading the Visty ahead of me in the line with an empty avalung pack and skins on. He got to midvail, skinned (downhill) to chair 3. Couldn't make sense of it all. Next level? Don't know. Epic.

riding skins downhill = e-brake

[fluxrad]

Guy on A Basin lift complaining how bright the sun is in Colorado...

Hell, I grew up here and I do that from time to time. 300+ days of sunshine is awesome as hell, but I think I spend like $500/year on sunblock.

[toast2266]

just cause you grew up there doesn't mean you're not a gaper.