Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[carvedog]

there was a mountain host passing out grooming maps to the people in the first/second tram today

Did you take one?

[Sessiøn]

Mt Hood was serving up refills yesterday. I heard "We got first tracks on the groom, then conditions went to shit. We're going home.

I won't even start with the Snowlerblade gang on mountain yesterday. I just facepalmed.

[powderchick]

on chair 6 at tride. ski and boarder below skiing under the lift.
boarder who is sliding down the mountain taking snow with him yells at the skier, "Just fucking ski it!!"
which the skier was doing...pretty well

[Ivan Oder]

I saw a couple getting their snowblades on at the bottom of a lift except the wife's blades were old atomic straight skis with the back 1/2 to 2/3rds cut off (rax style) and the bindings remounted.

I want a wife like that.

[Ivan Oder]

Im not trying to slag easterners with this. but I just saw this status quote from an old aquaintace from facebook.

"Enjoyed three slopes and 1.5 lifts at Alpine Valley today...but skiing in Wisconsin makes me miss Ontario!"

oh dear!

I'm from Ontario, now live & patrol in Wisconsin. Yesterday we had half an inch of rain. Today it is back in the single digits and snowing.

1/2 a lift?

[MrWhite]

Two of my favorites from a former life as a rental rat. 1) "What do you do with the big bumps (moguls) in the summer?" 2)"What elevation do the deer turn into elk?" You just got to love the folks who left the brain at home. They sure do make for some fun stories.

[iscariot]

Another fun one...earlier this season, riding the Lenawee chair at ABasin...some gapers ducked the rope on West Gully (under the lift) and were skiing the ankle deep powder (trail hadn't been opened for the season yet, but had some powder in places), falling all over the place on each turn, doing face plants, with the whole lift above geering and giving them shit...fucking hilarious to see people ski powder who have no idea how to...

Are you sure that wasn't Bode and a few of the other world cuppers?

[Conundrum]

Rode the chair with a volunteer patroller (I have nothing against volunteer patrollers).

Me "So, what type of avi control do you guys have? Noticed the gate was closed for Bob's this morning. Anyone check the snow stability and what does it look like?"

Her "Oh, we closed all the gates this weekend. After that guy died at X on Friday, we've decided to be extremely careful."

Sad Santos "That's funny, we try to be careful all of the time."

Her "Well, you know, it would look bad if anything happened here now."

[QuikR12]

Mt Hood was serving up refills yesterday. I heard "We got first tracks on the groom, then conditions went to shit. We're going home.

This was the shit he (Phiber) was referring to:

[Downbound Train]

Two of my favorites from a former life as a rental rat. 1) "What do you do with the big bumps (moguls) in the summer?" 2)"What elevation do the deer turn into elk?" You just got to love the folks who left the brain at home. They sure do make for some fun stories.

This is a gapper post about gappers since thses examples of gapperness have been told like 60 times each in this thread.

[dizzyj]

walking past the egress at the top of 9990 with no gear.etc..

...Besides, this is all avalanche controlled....

...They wouldn't let you through here if it wasnt safe....

...It always dumps you back into the resort...

[f2f]

i swear, the next person who claims a "bumps in the summer" story as their own is going to get it.

fucking unoriginal jongs.

[Caucasian Asian]

“I want to buy some boots for my friend. He's a speed skier. Does that require a specific boot?”

Most of the guys I know that race speed events have a specific boot for speed skiing. They use riveted rear-entry boots because they can get more forward lean out of them and they're more aero-dynamic than a four-buckle boot.

[bluejet59]

So this girl who works for me comes back from a ski weekend and says "We had to hike about 100 yards to the lift in waist deep snow, but by the time we got there we were too tired and no one wanted to ski." Her sister said "I bet your boss would probably like this."
There is nothing that I can add to that but bitter tears.

[Big Snowballs]

Best I ever heard was while getting on a 6 Pack Chair was "wow this 6-Man Quad is fast"

[pfluffenmeister]

as I'm crushing cut-up pow under the lift, I hear from above me an introspective, somewhat demoralized voice say "I suck..."

[old goat]

This one has absolutely nothing to do with skiing, but it's so dumb I have to share it, and someplace where it won't come back to bite me. The large hospital and clinic where I work, in California, with dozens of clinics, lab, xray, ER, etc, is now required by law to post signs in both English and Spanish. Administration has determined that there is no room for the signs that identify which clinic is which to be in both English and Spanish--therefore all clinics and other parts of the building are to be identified from now on only by room numbers. There are a few directories in the halls matching room numbers to clinics, but no sign outside of the surgery clinic, for example, identifying it as the surgery clinic. Maybe we will need to hire guides for the patients--no avy training required, but personal locator beacons recommended.

[paulster2626]

^^^ Reading that made me have a small aneurism. I'm not quite sure what is happening. I guess I'm a California Medical Gaper?

[sprkplg]

walking past the egress at the top of 9990 with no gear.etc..

...Besides, this is all avalanche controlled....

...They wouldn't let you through here if it wasnt safe....

...It always dumps you back into the resort...

Did they not see the 6 slides visible from the top of nearly every base lift in the past couple days? The BC snowpack is pretty terrifyingly unstable right now.

I spend my days cautioning tourists about going through the gates without training/equipment when they start eyeing lines down Squaretop from the top of Saddleback. Most of the time, they don't listen...

[dizzyj]

Did they not see the 6 slides visible from the top of nearly every base lift in the past couple days? The BC snowpack is pretty terrifyingly unstable right now.

I spend my days cautioning tourists about going through the gates without training/equipment when they start eyeing lines down Squaretop from the top of Saddleback. Most of the time, they don't listen...

to be fair, it was a couple weeks ago, but I still cringed hearing them say these things with absolute certainty, even as they are walking past signs that say otherwise

[Ruke]

Pretty much everything that the voice over says in this "EXTREME" clip of mundane skiing accidents

http://www.trutv.com/shows/most_dari...y8MutUuFcBgFh_

My favorite part:
"Some say as extreme sports go, skiing might be the safest... unless you are skiing in a snowboard pipe"

[Lelandjt]

OMG, best facepalm ever! That Tru TV ski clip was followed by a clip of a car crashing through a building. The guy inside sitting at a desk looks over at the car's front bumper and just facepalms.

[SitSki13]

At Heavenly yesterday, going up the chair with Splat and we see a family with three kids on the slope below us.

The kids had obviously wiped out and were all in a bundle laughing and throwing snow at eachother, basically having fun and enjoying being on the hill.

Dad is standing inpatiently about 20ft below them telling them to "Stop playing around and come ski".

That's pretty much it, I just thought the guy was an asshole for being upset when he takes his kids skiing and they actually enjoy themselves.

[JFE24]

Two weeks ago in Santa Fe, when the local mountain was crawling with Oklahomans and Texans, there was a high school kid wearing ski blades....and a full faced helmet. Very steezy.

[Bucknakedvisualworks]

Snowboarder in the Gondola: "And then the wind is gonna pick up and blow everything smooth. It's like free refills Bro!"