Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[bitchtits]

heard this one in my head. totally gaper worthy. "wish i didn't live in illinios". antistoke

[skier25]

Yesterday in the Airport, very early. Guy looks over sees my Covert Pack with a "No Pain, No Jane" patch on it. Asks, "Have you had a chance to use that yet? Not too many avalanches at the Jane..."

I reply, 'Yea, Yesterday. Mt. Elbert. Skied it.' It didn't have much sleep that night or night before, but that guy's question just pissed me off.

[stevey s]

The other night I went right from work to ski, so I got ready in the lodge, something you normally can't pay me to do.

As I'm getting my boots on, this typical soccer mom, ya know the type that are typically overly concerned with their kids safety comes in, followed by a troop of about 5 kids. She goes to the bench next to the one I'm on and starts grabbing bags, the kids all basically invade my personal space.

Her one daughter, maybe like 7 or 8 and all decked out in pink, is standing next to her, looking lost on how to start getting ready to go home. The mom, unbuckles the girl's helmet and SLAMS it on the concrete floor and says "now put your helmet away and let's go".

I almost asked the lady if she had any concept of how a helmet worked or if she is just trying to pull her genes from the pool while still looking like she is concerned about her daughter's safety. Instead I just finished getting ready as quick as I could and got the fuck out of there.

Umm, the mom has 5 kids. 4 kids sound like still too much genes to be passed down.

[karpiel]

I swear I'm gonna slap the next "adult" I see wearing goggles inside safeway.

[taz]

this is from our room mate, after days of no snow then rain that turned things icy...

"man, today was epic! it was so good"

he misses the good days (plays the play station) aka powder days and heads up on the not so stellar days. poor kid, a park rat that came to resort known for powder and has no jumps. I guess at least he is stoked no matter what, i guess.wish i could be like that with icy shit.

[Sythkibode]

It was spring ski time. I, along with my buds, was decked out in my gaper apparel, and more than stoked. In great liquor fueled anticipation for the day ahead i skied down from the parking lot toward the gondola at lake louise. One instant i was cruising the next, my skis were flexing as my body was thrown backwards. The rope intended to guide the line landed right between my gaper fullface and my sunglasses. Clothes hung at the forhead, jeans soaked.
Unfazed i proudly reached into my coat and guzzled some liquor, to the amusement of the lifties and skiiers alike, because i knew that this was gonna be a good day!

[Tees-Nutz]

today in the tram, (from a "bro") dude!.....iv'e totally snuck up the mountain like four times this year. looking over i realize i know this girl, then she says i'v got these new touring boots that's why i'm lagging on the hill, and i'm not taking my new skis out untill i got to alaska.

i then exited the tram and watched her start off, only to blow right by her and scream "bro i can't wait to go to alaska, this pow sucks so bad!"

why do some girls have to be so cool?
whores

[bertrenolds]

"Do you rent Extreme Skis?"

I'm not sure anything beats the recent magazine ad campaign by Vail with the slogan: "Vertical...as in, perpendicular to the Earth"

( for all the Vail fans, that's funny because Vail's flat. Aspen = Rad, Vail = Lame. Aspen = A Real Ski Town, Vail = Built on the Wrong Side of the Interstate. <end rant> )

Or the Beaver Creek ad where they actually photoshopped a skier into a shot going uphill...
!

I'm guessing that you don't know where to go in vail or beaver creek with a comment like this. Considering All of aspen snowmass ski resorts put together only have 369 more acres to ski then Vail by it's self, not to mention vail has a 350inch anuual snow fall as compared to aspen at 300inches.

A snowboarder from texas "I'd rather snowboard at night then during the day".

[Lelandjt]

Riding up Breck's Tbar behind a patroller. A guy comes skiing down the Tbar line which has ropes on either side and the partoller says, "You can't ski down here, please exit to the right."
Guy says,"Where's right?"
I say, "Opposite of left."
He says, "Oh, you're a smart ass."

[kaya]

It was spring ski time. I, along with my buds, was decked out in my gaper apparel, and more than stoked. In great liquor fueled anticipation for the day ahead i skied down from the parking lot toward the gondola at lake louise. One instant i was cruising the next, my skis were flexing as my body was thrown backwards. The rope intended to guide the line landed right between my gaper fullface and my sunglasses. Clothes hung at the forhead, jeans soaked.
Unfazed i proudly reached into my coat and guzzled some liquor, to the amusement of the lifties and skiiers alike, because i knew that this was gonna be a good day!

This thread usually sucks fat donkey balls, however I lol'ed at this.

[paulster2626]

Went skiing with my parents today for the first time in a long time.

Anyway, the 3 of us are in a prett long lift line for a 6-person chair - as we approach the first merge point I see 3 other people beside us, and wanting to seize the opportunity to maximize the lift capacity I say "Just the 3 of you guys?"

Guy says "No there's 10 of us, but they are still on the hill."

Riiiiight.

[gisforgaper]

So a good twist on the gaper fat skis = water skis meme.

Loading chair 4 as a single at kirkwood today and get on with a group of 3. Gaper #3 - closest to me - manages to slip and do the splits while his wife/gf (heretofore known as gaper #2) comes up behind him. Her right ski goes between his legs but they manage to get on the chair okay. She is screaming at him, "what happened, what happened" and he replies "I slipped, sorry, you didn't fall off." She gives up the point and sits stewing, chatting with gaper #1.

Gaper #3 - the one with the impressive balance - begins talking about how my skis (moment bibbys) would work well all year. "Aw man, those must be awesome out here, and good for water skiing too. I'd just load those up and run them behind my boat, they'd be awesome..." the condacending tone of his being a boat owner dripping from his mouth.

Gaper #1 corrects gaper #3 by pointing out that in fact gaper #3 does not have a boat. Gaper #3 retorts, "yeah, but if I did I mean." At this point, I just start chuckling under my breath and Gaper #2 says "just shut the fuck up, you're making us look like fools and its not like the guy cares that you're an ass."

Gaper #2, winner.

[Jag]

So a good twist on the gaper fat skis = water skis meme.

Loading chair 4 as a single at kirkwood today and get on with a group of 3. Gaper #3 - closest to me - manages to slip and do the splits while his wife/gf (heretofore known as gaper #2) comes up behind him. Her right ski goes between his legs but they manage to get on the chair okay. She is screaming at him, "what happened, what happened" and he replies "I slipped, sorry, you didn't fall off." She gives up the point and sits stewing, chatting with gaper #1.

Gaper #3 - the one with the impressive balance - begins talking about how my skis (moment bibbys) would work well all year. "Aw man, those must be awesome out here, and good for water skiing too. I'd just load those up and run them behind my boat, they'd be awesome..." the condacending tone of his being a boat owner dripping from his mouth.

Gaper #1 corrects gaper #3 by pointing out that in fact gaper #3 does not have a boat. Gaper #3 retorts, "yeah, but if I did I mean." At this point, I just start chuckling under my breath and Gaper #2 says "just shut the fuck up, you're making us look like fools and its not like the guy cares that you're an ass."

Gaper #2, winner.

Quoting for pure comedy, and perhaps the best gaper quote of the thread.

[Sessiøn]

So a good twist on the gaper fat skis = water skis meme.

Loading chair 4 as a single at kirkwood today and get on with a group of 3. Gaper #3 - closest to me - manages to slip and do the splits while his wife/gf (heretofore known as gaper #2) comes up behind him. Her right ski goes between his legs but they manage to get on the chair okay. She is screaming at him, "what happened, what happened" and he replies "I slipped, sorry, you didn't fall off." She gives up the point and sits stewing, chatting with gaper #1.

Gaper #3 - the one with the impressive balance - begins talking about how my skis (moment bibbys) would work well all year. "Aw man, those must be awesome out here, and good for water skiing too. I'd just load those up and run them behind my boat, they'd be awesome..." the condacending tone of his being a boat owner dripping from his mouth.

Gaper #1 corrects gaper #3 by pointing out that in fact gaper #3 does not have a boat. Gaper #3 retorts, "yeah, but if I did I mean." At this point, I just start chuckling under my breath and Gaper #2 says "just shut the fuck up, you're making us look like fools and its not like the guy cares that you're an ass."

Gaper #2, winner.

This is up there with the Seth Morrison one.

[narc]

I saw a couple getting their snowblades on at the bottom of a lift except the wife's blades were old atomic straight skis with the back 1/2 to 2/3rds cut off (rax style) and the bindings remounted.

[The SnowShow]

I was on the Superchair the other day and some gaper looked down at my Atomic G2 D2s and nudged his bro bro next to him, and laughed at how long they were...I looked over and realized he was not wearing any gloves and had 2 foot long poles with no baskets...

[DropCliffsNotBombs]

I was on the Superchair the other day and some gaper. I looked over and realized he was not wearing any gloves and had 2 foot long poles with no baskets...

That was no gaper. That was what we call a modern jibber. They might have skied their whole life, but they still show up with stubby basket-less poles, clothes that don't fit, and not wearing gloves... to be "cool."

[The SnowShow]

I also love the gapers who look at race skis and say "wow, didn't know they still made long skis!" Those must be hard to turn!

[Wes Mantooth]

That was no gaper. That was what we call a modern jibber. They might have skied their whole life, but they still show up with stubby basket-less poles, clothes that don't fit, and not wearing gloves... to be "cool."

Well they've skied their whole lives in the park, so groomers still prove to be quite the challenge for them

[The SnowShow]

Another fun one...earlier this season, riding the Lenawee chair at ABasin...some gapers ducked the rope on West Gully (under the lift) and were skiing the ankle deep powder (trail hadn't been opened for the season yet, but had some powder in places), falling all over the place on each turn, doing face plants, with the whole lift above geering and giving them shit...fucking hilarious to see people ski powder who have no idea how to...

[emr]

Over heard this background noise while riding the tram on Saturday...

Gaper 1... Phone ring ring ring... Picks up and decides to let everyone know he knows how to talk on the phone.

Gaper 2 says to Gaper 3... I didn't know phones worked this high.

My brain shut down after that............

[bcd]

I got two from last week:

“I want to buy some boots for my friend. He's a speed skier. Does that require a specific boot?”

and then today we went up Bishop Bowl, which is the local frontcountry.
There's a group of four skiers following our skin track. We reach the top and start riding down. I traverse over to the other group to say hi. And after following our skin track for a few hours, the lead gaper asks me:
“Did you guys snowshoe to the top?”
I motion towards the track they are standing on and say: “um.... no. We skinned”.

[telepariah]

I was standing next to a garbage can at Telluride near the top of a lift and a couple wearing identical outfits they must have purchased in the mid 80s ran into me as they also collided with themselves after unloading the lift and losing control (at least they didn't biff right on the ramp). So the guy says to me, "You shouldn't stand where somebody can hit you."

I replied, "You should thank me because if I hadn't been there the both of you would have ended up in the same garbage can."

[Humble]

there was a mountain host passing out grooming maps to the people in the first/second tram today

[kevin267]

today it was blowin and snowin pretty hard at mt washington and I saw a jaguar with texas plates drive into the parking lot turn around then get stuck