Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[QuikR12]

Not really a quote, but definitely worth the mention.

At Hood Meadows yesterday:
Asian kid, a real asian I believe, wearing a SARS mask and no goggles (while its dumping), trying to load the chair holding his snowboard (not strapped in). This didn't fly w/ the lifty. It was a sight to be seen. I'm just wondering who drove the kid up there, and how fucking terrible they must have been driving on the snow covered road.

[jmf]

Overheard walking into shitty market on Monday..

"THEY'RE ALREADY OUT OF TORTILLA'S!!!"

"Tarnation.. Let's make taco soup instead."

[nateski]

[riding up swifty, with an older- 50ish- gaper couple; drinking a bud tall boy; finish it close to the top of the lift]
gaper husband: wow. i didnt know if you were actually gonna finish that
me: years of practice
gaper wife: i can chug wine, but beer is too heavy
me: i go for wine once in a while
wife: if i drank that much beer, i would have to pee half way down the run
me: yeah, that can be a problem..

[madturtle]

So I walk up to this gaper a few weeks ago that had scored a pretty sick tgr shirt...hilarity ensued

Me: "Hey dude, nice shirt. Where'd you get it"
Gaper: "I got it in Montana"
Me: "Really, cool. You a mag?"
Gaper: "Am I a mag? Like a magazine?" "No, I'm from Montana"
Me: "No dude, TGR. Its an internet forum/ski community thing"
Gaper: "No man, a friend gave me the shirt, I'm just from Montana"
Me: "Yeah, but it's on the internet, its everywhere"

Glad I didn't try and ask him for change or anything...woulda really thrown him for a loop...

[Donkey Punch]

Last Saturday in the Berthoud warming hutt.

Just sitting around warming up and melting off skins. Bunch of people walk to check out the place, ask the normal questions.

Them: What are those?
Me: Skins, they go on the bottom of skis so you can go up hill.
Them: Oh so the sticky side goes down?
Me: No that goes to the skis, there is stuff on the other side like hair that grabs the snow.
Them: Oh...........

THen the woman sees Smmokan try to get a drink from his camel back, and with complete sincerity.

Her: Oh is that where you keep your oxygen?

[BushwackerinPA]

"Western skiing is just so much better than eastern skiing" woman watching Meathead Films segment from Jay in the shop...

you didnt say a word eh?

[ski3 P O]

If someone is rude or obnoxious, that is one thing, but simply not knowing as much as someone posting what was said.... everyone is ignorant about alot of stuff. What do you think Steven Hawking would think about our knowledge of physics (if he was like you guys). Or a phd in chemistry, or math etc.

I agree. Everyone is ignorant about a lot of stuff.

Sorry man, I just had to do it.

[Neurodoc]

"Do you have lights under your skis?"

In reference to the reflected glow on the snow from fluorescent-colored bases.

[old goat]

WARNING: Not about skiing, and possibly offensive to religious folks:

The scene: a Spanish mission church/national monument in New Mexico--forget which one.
Park ranger explaining the construction of the 17th century church, pointing out the hand wrought iron nails.
Tourist: But they didn't have nails back then.
Ranger: How do you think they hung Jesus on the cross--Velcro?

Also in New Mexico, this one is about skiing. Many years ago, the gaper(me) trying to get down a moderately steep glade in a foot of powder by grabbing trees to turn as I went by them. (I'm better than that now--I use the trees to stop instead of to turn).

[f2f]

In the last two weeks a personal locator beacon has sent Colorado’s Alpine Rescue Team into a frenzy only to be deactivated once they commence their search. The ACR PLB-300 MicrOFix is an older model that doesn’t include a GPS locator, so the searchers only know that someone’s has set one off within a 12-mile radius. Since the person keeps turning the beacon on-and-off, they speculate that the user might think the PLB is an avalanche beacon or they simply don’t understand that it’s calling the Air Force every time they flip it on.

from http://thegoat.backcountry.com/2009/...berthoud-pass/

[Helldawg]

Park ranger, FTW.

[nateski]

[riding lift, on my tahoes, gaper is on some rentals that arent even that much skinnier than the tahoes]
gaper: wow,those are fat. how do you like them?
me: uh, theyre fun
gaper: so are they really good for powder?
me: they do ok
gaper: so how do you like them, being so wide?
me: well actually, these are my skinny skis. these have a 96 mm waist, my other skis are 127 at the waist
gaper: those are you skinny skis????!!! well, they look like they would do really good in the powder. what do you use skis like that for?
me: uh, theyre my everyday, all around ski.
gaper: wow, so all that extra surface area must be good for the powder

dude could not get it that my moment tahoes are not my powder skis.

[skiATL]

"Do you have lights under your skis?"

In reference to the reflected glow on the snow from fluorescent-colored bases.

similar to this, (In response to the fluorescent bases)

"Where do they put the batteries in your skis to make them light up like that?"

[guest]

Some random dude skis up to me while I'm leaning against a snow bank, waiting for friends at the top of one at Loveland yesterday.

Random dude: "So, how do you like those parabolic skis?"

Me: "They're alright."

Random dude is wearing parabolic skis.

[stevey s]

I agree. Everyone is ignorant about a lot of stuff.

Sorry man, I just had to do it.

Know problem. Its knot like i profreed. its just a forom. I dont claim to be above avrage in riting.

[Jongahawk]

In reference to his friends goggles:

"Oakleys are gay .. they aren't a snowboard company"

I wasn't aware goggles were so sport specific.

[Machete]

Me on Bentchetlers

Guy on lift "Do your skis have metal edges like ours do?"

[njfreeskier]

[riding lift, on my tahoes, gaper is on some rentals that arent even that much skinnier than the tahoes]
gaper: wow,those are fat. how do you like them?
me: uh, theyre fun
gaper: so are they really good for powder?
me: they do ok
gaper: so how do you like them, being so wide?
me: well actually, these are my skinny skis. these have a 96 mm waist, my other skis are 127 at the waist
gaper: those are you skinny skis????!!! well, they look like they would do really good in the powder. what do you use skis like that for?
me: uh, theyre my everyday, all around ski.
gaper: wow, so all that extra surface area must be good for the powder

dude could not get it that my moment tahoes are not my powder skis.

Had this same conversation about 5 times this weekend at jay peak. I was on VCTs. People kept telling me how fat they were, and if they were good in powder. I kept telling people that these were my skinniest skis, and my everyday ski. They were shocked for the most part. The best one though was when someone asked if they were snowboards and i had put ski bindings on them.

[farmer]

The best one though was when someone asked if they were snowboards and i had put ski bindings on them.

At that point, you've just got to go with it!

[arewolfe]

**9:00am Saturday. Riding the gondola at Stowe w/ group of young 20-somethings from western Massachusetts**

note: 25 degrees, light winds maybe 10mph.

"We should check out the Forerunner today."
"Yeah right. I don't wanna freeze to death. It's fucking frigid out there."
"Yeah, yeah. You're right. We should stick to this (the gondy) the rest of the day."

[pales]

Snowboarder girl to my friend: How do you like those fat DPS skis? Do they handle well now that things are tracked out?

He is riding the Wailer 105's.
The second member of our group is on a pair of Lhasas.
I am on a pair of Powderboards.

[keipow]

At Snowbasin today, where the Australian National Ski Team practices:

6 of us on the gondole.
One older couple, friend and I, and guy/girl wearing Aussie Ski Team jacket and Olympic emblems.

husband: so you folks practice in Australia too?
girl: yeah, but back home, the runs are one-fifth the size compared to here.
guy: yeah it is great here
wife: my legs get tired on these runs. do you get tired? (asking everyone in the gondola)
me: not really
wife: how about you (to ski team girl)
girl: it's not bad
wife: really? how often do you practice?
girl: 5, 6 days a week?
wife: do your legs get tired?
girl: uh, not really, it takes about 3 to 5 days for us to get used to the length of the runs, but we practice daily
wife: that is so amazing!
girl: *looks at guy*, yeah, we...sort of do this for a living.



Later on, after we got off the lift, I see them start practicing time trials on the slalom.

It was cool to watch them practice.

Then, this older lady (not wearing the ski team jacket like the coaches), who must have been over 60, steps into her long skis. She smiled at the the team, waited for one of the team to cross the gate, and went down faster than the ski team girl by far. The team did not smile.

[thecriscokid]

So I hop on the lift with an instructor and his 2 bucketheads(really small kids w/ helmets)He's on race stock skis teaching 5yr olds. I'm on my CRJ's on my way to look for the not so hidden treasure...

Pro: Those are the most ridiculous resort skis EVER.
Me: Really?? Why?
Pro: because you have to ski groomers to get to the lift
Me: That's why they have sidecut and camber-and metal edges just like yours
Pro: they are way to fat to ski groomers
Me: I hate to tell you, but these are not my widest boards.
Me: You ever tried them?
Pro: No
Me: Well that's a little close minded for a TEACHER, Isn't it?

Obviously, I was being a little too nice because of the bucketheads (they were cool)

He went on to blab about how he didn't know anything and was from New York City and Blah, Blah, Blah.

Me: I just talked to the 5yr olds and went on to ski some pow

Pretty Good Day

[mtnbikerskierchick]

While riding the Red Lady on Thursday, a guy dressed in a faded 70's too-tight fart bag asked if he could ride the lift with "ya'll". (Gaper said he was from Lubbock, Texas)

Texan: (Looking down at my Gotamas) WOW! I've never seen skis THAT wide before.
Me: Yeah, they're kind of different then yours.
Texan: Well, how do you turn in those?
Me: I guess just like you turn in your skis.
Texan: Well, I don't know how to turn. So I guess I better figure out before I get me some of those other skis.

[spanghew]

the biggest, fattest, gaper-est quote I can think of would be along the lines of 'change for a nickel?'

Perusing this thread reveal some of the most immature and clueless poseurs I hope to never meet: those who evidently confuse riding lifts and reading ski magazines and buying the latest gear craze discovered therein--followed by judging others bases on these gaper-esque criteria--with actually going out and hiking and skiing actual mountains.

Yeah, yeah, I know, lots of true core skiers on TGR out there . . .

But most posting on this thread are the least of these.